Insanity (23 page)
Authors: Cameron Jace
"Remember when I told you you're not Alice?"
I nod.
"I lied," she says. "I know a woman in my position shouldn't lie, but this was...a white lie."
"Why did you lie?"
"The truth is I am still not sure if you're the Alice, but I am also not sure you're not."
"Can't you tell by my looks?"
"That's a tricky thing. Before we left Wonderland, Lewis made us drink a potion that would make us forget your face." She sighs.
"Why?"
"He wanted to protect you in case the Wonderland Monsters escaped and we'd need you again. He cared a great deal for you." the White Queen said. "I heard you did brave things in the last couple of days." She smiles the way Lewis smiled at me. "I am proud of you, whether you're the real Alice or not."
"Thank you Fabiola. That means a lot to me."
"This is why I brought you a present," she pulls out a hand mirror. I back off immediately. "Don't be afraid. I am not going to let anything hurt you. But if you want to take that route of saving lives, you need to take one brief look at it."
"Why, Fabiola? You know I have a mirror phobia."
"There is a reason why you have it, Alice," Fabiola says. "Mirrors show truth sometimes. Your mind is suppressing one, and it's my job to show it to you, so you know where you stand. A strong and brave heart isn't enough. A true heart, no matter how much the truth hurts, is the strongest of all."
"You think I really should?"
"Do you know what the name 'Alice' means? It means 'the truth.' Whether you want to know or not, that's your choice." She lays the mirror on the floor. "It's going to be a hurtful memory, but you need it. Sometimes truth comes along with a little pain. The pain will subside eventually, and the truth shall remain. See you soon, little hero," she tells me, and walks out the door. She doesn't walk out through the wall or anything. Just the cell's door, which she shuts from the outside.
She leaves me trapped with a mirror in my room.
Chapter 72
Waltraud enters my cell some time later. I find myself waking up. I must have slept after the White Queen's visit. Waltraud puts a plate of food next to me. It's a bigger and much healthier portion than before. I wonder if that’s the Pillar's effect.
"So was it you who let the White Queen in?"
"What White Queen? " Waltraud drags on her cigarette.
"I mean Fabiola."
"Who's Fabiola?" Waltraud looks irritated.
"The nun," I grimace.
"There is no nun." Waltraud says. "No one entered your room after I brought you here, Alice. What are you talking about?"
"Don't keep playing those games with me, Waltraud." I feel my anger surfacing. "First you pretend you didn't see me on TV, and then this. Why are you doing this?"
Waltraud laughs. "Your situation is getting worse. I am reporting it to Dr. Truckle."
"What is wrong with you?" I snap. "Why do you want me to feel this way? Can't you see the Tiger Lily isn't responding to me? I am not hallucinating."
"The flower never responded to you in the first place," Waltraud doesn't stop laughing. My misery is her entertainment. "Why would a non-responding flower be a sign of sanity? It's all in your head, Alice."
"No, it's not," I pull the umbrella and open it. "Look at this crazy umbrella. It has a screen in it." I pull it open, but don't see any of the navigational tools. There is no trigger to pull. I can't believe this." I turn and face Waltraud. "You have to believe me. I am the real Alice. I saved a life today."
"You're just a mad girl in an asylum underground," Waltraud keeps laughing, about to close the door. "Maybe that’s what Lewis Carroll meant by Alice's Adventures
Under Ground.
" Her laugh echoes behind the door she slams. “You know that’s the book’s original title, don’t you?”
Chapter 73
I decide that I have no choice but to look in the mirror. I'm not mad. I know I am not mad.
At first, I don't see anything in the mirror. I find out it's covered with dust, so I wipe it clean. I hold it in my hand, thinking I could just break it if the rabbit shows up.
The mirror shows me standing at a bus stop, waiting for a friend. I am about seventeen, and I am holding a boy's hand. It's Adam again, still wearing his hood. Friends arrive and start to behave just like my older dream of killing them all in the end.
I don't know why I am seeing this, but I keep watching.
We get on the bus. Everyone is still cracking jokes, and I am still suspicious of the driver. It's the rabbit again. I can't help it and go grab the wheel, trying to save the bus.
"No, Alice,” Adam screams from under the hood. “Don't do it." He still thinks it's me who will kill everyone on the bus. Well, maybe it is me. I am not sure.
Suddenly, Adam pulls his hood back.
It's the heart-shattering moment. It's that moment when I see his face. I let go of the wheel, not knowing what to think. The boy under the hood is Jack Diamonds.
If you switch the letters in Jack Diamonds you get Adam J Dixon, bearing in mind that the 'x' letter in Dixon is translated as the letters 'c', 'k' and 's' in Jack Diamonds. My mind must have come up with this trick to escape the horrible truth that I killed Adam in the schools bus.
At the end of the memory, the rabbit in the mirror appears again. He parts the hair dangling in front of him and I discover it's me underneath. It's always been me.
I sink to my knees and let the mirror fall, splintering into pieces. I don't know what's real and what's not. I don't know why I killed those people on the bus. Did I make up Jack's personality? Was it all in my mind? But how is that possible? How did he save me so many times? Or is it like Waltraud said, that I have never left the ward underground and that it was all in my head?
I stand up and hold the bars in the door's window and start screaming. "I'm not mad," I plead. I pound on the door, but no one answers me. Why would they? I am just a mad girl in an asylum underground. "Who in the world am I?" I mumble, staring at the long ward. It seems endless from where I stand. I need to get out to prove I am not mad. I need to go meet the Pillar. He can't be an illusion of my mind. I don't know how long I can't wait. I am dying here.
Ogier approaches my cell slowly when I don't stop screaming. The hallway is dark, but I recognize him from his white shaved head. "I told you we're all mad here, Alice," he says, and my confusion peaks. Why would Ogier say that?
I only get it when his face shines through the dim light coming from my cell. He stands behind the barred window in my door, and it all makes sense now. He is the Cheshire. I recognize him from his grin. "Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a world to apocalypse." He looks at me for a moment and turns around, whistling as he leaves the ward. As he leaves, I hear him hum the nursery rhyme:
When she was sane, she was very, very sane. And when she was mad, she was Alice
.
The END…
Want to read the next part of Alice’s story?
Just visit:
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and enter your email. You’ll get personal updates from me. I promise you’ll be the first to know when Book Two is released! (Coming Soon!) Also, you will know about the facts behind the book and how places like the Kattenstoet festival looks like. I will post details, photos, and addresses bout the crazy world behind Alice in Wonderland.
So don’t miss out:
www.cameronjace.com
Thank you so much for reading.
Love all the monsters,
Cameron Jace
Oh, One Last Thing…
When you turn the page, Kindle will give you the opportunity to express your thoughts on Facebook and Twitter automatically. If you enjoyed my book, would you take a second to click that button and let your friends know about it? If they get something out of the book, they’ll be grateful to you. As I will!
Wish you the best of holidays and a fantabulous new year,
Cameron
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