Insanity (9 page)

"A boor who is unpleasant and rude," I remind myself as I look around.

"My husband is definitely unpleasant," the old woman says. "He is in the next hall, arguing over the price of a book he just bought."

"A boor and a book. Two for the price of one," the Pillar nags me in my ear. "And it's not even Christmas yet."

Chapter 25

"Sir," I call to the man, running toward him.

He stands arguing with the library man that they have to refund him because the book has holes in it. When I arrive, I find out that this part of the hall has been emptied for cleaning. The staff members are asking him to leave as it needs to be maintained. I whiz through and don’t let anyone stop me. They stop his wife from following me though.

"I paid for this book," the obnoxious man protests. He looks just like I had always imagined Ebenezer Scrooge from A Christmas Carol would look in my mind.

"Please, Mr. Scrooge," the library man pleads. "We need you to leave the hall."

I don't even let my mind consider the fact I heard his name is Scrooge. I find it too distracting, and I have a girl to save.

"Please, Mr. Scrooge," I plead. "Could you please show me the book?"

"Of course not," he is a tall scruffy man, and pulls the book away. "I bought it, and it's mine."

"You have only three minutes," the Pillar reminds me. "You have to get that book. It's part of the Cheshire's puzzle."

"Please, Sir," I plead again.

"So it's a valuable book, eh?" Mr. Scrooge glances at it one more time with a smug look on his face. The book is about Lewis Carroll's life at Oxford University. "How much would you pay for it?"

"Pay?"

"Bugger," the Pillar muses. "Now you have to get a loan from the bank to save the girl. I think it takes between three and four weeks to clear. Not too shabby. You could save the girl's corpse by then. Besides, I don't think the banks give loans to girls with a record of madness. They know girls are shopaholics."

"Shut up!" I yell.

"You're telling me to shut up?" Mr. Scrooge frowns. "That's it. No book for you, young lady."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it that way. Listen, I can give you this," I show him the six o'clock rabbit watch. It looks expensive, even classic.

"A watch?"

"It's not just any watch. It is Lewis Carroll's own watch. See, the rabbit? It's even six o'clock all the time, just like when the Mad Hatter sang and froze time."

Mr. Scrooge tilts his head and inspects the watch for a long time. His gaze is penetrating. His eyebrows arch, as if he is a British minister about to take a crucial decision. He glances back at the book, then at the watch. Time is running out.

"You want this book for this watch?" he says.

"Yes, please." This must be the hardest bargain I have ever had to make.

"You got it, young lady," he hands me the book and laughs. "She wants this book so badly," he mumbles as he walks away. "It's full of holes," he leaves the hall. A security guard comes and shows him out, then nods at me. He has that silly pointed nose and a face full of freckles. He is the same person who pretended to be the officer asking for my ID. Before he pulls the hall’s door to a close, he tells me, "Do what you have to do. Fast!"

“It’s nice to know someone is helping,” the Pillar says.

“Who is that, and how does he know me?”

“He works for me.”

“And where are the real guards?”

“Sedated and bound somewhere in the Tom Tower,” the Pillar says.

I know I should object, but all I can think of is saving the girl. There are certainly no morals whatsoever when working with the Pillar.

I get on my knees and inspect the book. This fits the sequence; first the 'boor' who turned out to be Mr. Scrooge, then the 'book' about Lewis Carroll, and then 'look' inside the book.

"I'm looking inside the book. I imagine that should send me to the 'Lock,'” I tell the Pillar.

“Are there any messages from the Cheshire on the first page or the cover?”

“Yes,” I almost laugh when I read it. “It says: What is the Use of a Book, Without Pictures or Conversation.”

“And?”

“The answer is: holes.”

“I assume the book you have has holes in it, like Mr. Scrooge said.”

“Yes. The book has two big holes on each page," I tell the Pillar.

“What shapes are the holes?"

"They look like two tall rods, thicker at the bottom, and thinner as they stretch up. They have two heads at the ends that look like some kind of soldier with an unusual hat, I think. It could be a plate on their heads."

"I see." The Pillar's voice dims. "Damn that Cheshire. He was really playing with us from the beginning."

"You know what that is?"

"If you’re sitting, raise the book and look through at the East Wall.” I do as he says. “You should come across two brass firedogs in front of a fireplace. My guess is, if you stay right in the middle of the room at that level, you’ll see they fit the cut size in the book”

I do as he says, and he is right. I see the brass firedogs. They’re gold plated and very unique. In fact, they remind me of Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland right away. I don’t know what it is, but they carry his sense of nonsense and humor.

“What are they supposed to mean? I don’t see a ‘lock.’” I feel out of time, and disappointed.

"You like the firedogs?" a voice sneaks up from behind me. I thought I was alone in the hall, or is it one of the Pillar’s assistants? When I turn around, it's Jack Diamonds.

Chapter 26

Jack has his backpack on one shoulder, and his curly hair falling down his forehead again. And of course, the attractive smirk.

"What are you doing here?" I snap.

Jack closes his eyes and puckers up his lips, as if we're about to kiss. "You owe me a kiss."

"What? You’re out of your mind." I can't even imagine this guy is for real. "How did you even get in here?"

"I'm a dangerous man," he opens his eyes and shapes his fingers into what makes them look like a gun. He starts to shoot like a cowboy. "Wanna go out on a date?"

"Ugh," I sigh. He is certainly a distraction. Where did he come from?

"Doesn't have to be a date then," he changes his mind. "I could drive you around Oxford in a limousine, and be your chauffeur for one night."

I shake my head. I wonder how the Pillar knows Jack. "Do you even own a limousine?"

"No, but I will steal one for you, buttercup," he pulls me closer from my waist so fast, I can't even shake myself free. "My name is Jack Diamonds, by the way." He whispers softly in my ear. "I'm a thief of hearts. Pun intended, of course."

"Let go of me," I pull away.

"Wow, you're good at squeezing yourself away from a man's arms," he looks admirably at his empty embrace.

"You haven't seen me with a straitjacket." The words spill out of my mouth spontaneously. It takes me a second to realize that I can't let him know I sleep in the asylum at night.

"Straitjacket?" He raises an eyebrow, "I didn't know you’re into bondage and stuff."

"Get rid of him," the Pillar says. "I told you he is a distraction."

I stare at the watch, and gaze back at Jack.

"Why are you always on the phone? He tilts his head and flashes his boyish dimples. Too boyish for a twenty year old. "Are talking to that old man who just walked out? You're not dating him, are you?"

"Shut up." I have one minute left, as I look back at those brass firedogs. "What about the firedogs? I have no time." I squeeze my headset, talking to the Pillar. I'll have to work even if Jack is still behind me.

The Pillar abandons me.

"You don't need a date, buttercup. You need a tour guide," Jack spreads his arms and bows his head, as in “I'm at your service.” "The firedogs are Lewis Carroll's inspiration for the long neck chapter, when she eats that cake and gets taller."

“Really?”

“Yeah, she keeps getting taller and shorter, and taller and…”

“I know the book,” I wave my hand in the air. "This is how the Cheshire was fooling us from the beginning." I click my fingers together, pretending Jack isn’t here. "When he wrote 'eat me' on the Cheshire Cheese, he was referring to the girl's hiding place," I tell myself, interpreting the last piece of the puzzle. Suddenly, I shriek. "It's the fireplace! He's locked the girl behind the fireplace!"

Thirty seconds left.

"There is a girl behind the fireplace?" Jack looks puzzled as I run around, looking for anything to help me bring down the brick wall blocking the fireplace.

"A big hammer will do, Alice," the Pillar decides to talk to me again. "Faster. Go get help from outside! They'll know how to break it."

And just before I run to the door, I hear the bricks falling in a series of consecutive thuds. I turn around, and see Jack bringing down the brick walls with the firedogs. He has strong arms, and he is determined as heck. He also looks like he has a thing for vandalism.

"The heck with national treasures!" he pants, as the bricks fall down.

I pass the firedogs and squeeze myself in the tight place behind them. Then I get on all fours and use the phone's light to peek into the darkness of the fireplace. I smell ashes, but can't see anything. Then I hear a girl moaning. I don't hesitate, and crawl into the dark.

It doesn’t take me long before I can see the shadow of a girl inside. She’s lying on the floor with her hands and knees tied.

Chapter 27

Oh, my God. She's only ten or so. I run to her and get on my knees. I have to crawl inside to get to her. Her mouth is tied and her dress is torn, ashes covering her legs. The look in her eyes is killing me. Those pleading eyes. I can't imagine she's been locked in this awful place for so long. This damn Cheshire Cat. I swear I will catch him.

When I reach my hand for the girl, she pulls away, still panicking. I’m assuming she is in great shock. "It's alright," I say. "I am here to help you."

The girl stops panicking, but doesn't move or allow me to untie her hands and legs. I feel like I want to scream and cry at the same time. I want to tell her that I know what it feels like, being trapped and isolated in such a small room. She reminds me of myself in the asylum. I am praying the Cheshire didn't do this on purpose, sacrificing the girl to play with my head.

Whenever I crawl closer to her, she shies away. I don’t want to force her. She’s been through enough. I need to find a way for her to trust me. I reach for the ashes and smear them on my face and hands, trying to assure her we're both alike. That I can save her, only if she’ll let me. The girl still doesn't trust me. Her mouth is duct-taped, so she can't speak. But her eyes speak. I wonder what she wants to tell me.

"Please, let me help you," I plead, tears trickling down my cheeks.

She does that thing with her eyes again, unable to speak.

“At least let’s remove the duct tape, so you can tell me what you want.”

She thinks about it, then nods. I crawl over and pull it slowly. She’s brave. She doesn’t moan anymore.

"Are you Alice?” she asks me, with her faint and weakened voice.

“I am.” There is no point is asking her how she knows now.

My answer makes her relax. She allows me to unbind her and help her crawl out of the fireplace. We get out to the middle of the hall, where she hugs me while I am on my knees. Then she finally lets go, and cries hysterically. She's been through a lot.

My whole world is falling apart. I have never felt such emotion for a long time--I don't even know how long. The sane world is too cruel, I think as I hold her tighter to me. I don't even know her, but I want to give her all the love I can provide. How can the Cheshire do something like that to this young kid? The sane world is horrible. The Pillar was right. Living among the sane is insane.

"I'm not a fan of drama," Jack says from behind me. When I tilt my head, I see him climbing out of one of those highly arched windows. Is this guy some kind of a thief, or what? "But you owe me a date!" he points a finger at me, then waves goodbye to the girl. I am surprised she waved goodbye to him. For the first time, she smiles.

When I turn to look at Jack again, he's gone.

"Well done, Alice,” the Pillar says in my ears. "Not too shabby for our first day at college," he pulls his sarcasm on me. "See you in the asylum tonight," he hangs up on me.

"Are you okay?" I ask the girl as I catch my breath.

She nods. "As soon as you told me your name was Alice, I knew I was going to be okay. Thank you."

"Really?" I check her body for any bruises. “Are you hurt in any way?”

The girl shakes her head no. I can tell she is alright. The Cheshire didn’t hurt her, which makes me wonder what all of this was about.

“What’s your name?” I run my finger through her hair.

“Constance.”

“What a lovely name,” I hug her again.

“Not as lovely as yours,” her small hands cling to my pullover from behind. “My mom was going to name me Alice first.”

“You love that name a lot, huh?” I smile, wondering why my name means so much to her.

She hit me right with the answer, "The man who kidnapped me told me a girl named Alice was coming for me."

"Oh." My face tightens, and my need to catch the Cheshire heightens. “Did you see his face?”

“No, he was wearing a mask of a grinning cat,” she said. "But when I asked him if it's Alice in Wonderland who was coming to save me, he said yes, it was her. He meant you," the girl continues, her head on my shoulder. I fight the tears not to cry. She thinks Alice is her hero from the books, and that she came to save her. Or maybe I am too stupid to notice that she is right. That I am Alice, and that I am destined for much more than a cell in an asylum. "I told him Alice is only seven,” the girl continues. “She can’t save me.”

“What did he say to that?”

"He said, ‘Alice is grown up now, and she will try to save the world.’”

Chapter 28

The Radcliffe Lunatic Asylum, Oxford

Going back to the Radcliffe Asylum, I don't know what's worse: the mad people inside, or the mad people outside.