Insight (24 page)

“And I know there was some sort of falling out.” Her eyes are fixed on me.

I nod. “Totally my fault.” Mostly my fault, but part his, too. It seems safer to keep that to myself. What can the flashes of black and white
mean
? Will I be glad or hate that I can do this thing?

“And you know him well enough for a sleepover?” Her lips are pursed a bit and her eyes narrow just slightly. It hasn’t really come up before. I’ve never put her in a situation to worry about me like this.

“Definitely.” I say it with confidence even though I can’t back it up with the information that I want to.

“Okay.” She nods in acceptance. “You were careful, right? I mean, I know you’re a smart girl but all of us sometimes get swept up and—”

“Mom. We did
not
have sex.” I redden again in embarrassment, but I see the benefits of having a parent trust you. Our conversation happens like this instead of one of us yelling from the porch like Landon and his dad.

“Okay.” She raises her hands up, and I think she believes me, but I’m not positive.

“So, you and Ethan.” If I can be grilled, so can she.

“It’s the real thing, Micah. Like I wasn’t sure I’d ever get, and was starting to doubt it even existed.” Mom’s concerned face has turned into a wistfully happy one.

“I’m glad.” And now that I have Landon, and something that feels like a small amount of stability, I really mean it.

“I’m happy that you had a nice night.” Her head tilts to the side, as if she’ll somehow suddenly be able to read my mind or something. “But it still freaks me out a little.”

I can tell that I’m about to suffer a new round of embarrassment, but I hear shuffling in my room. “I’m going to stop him before he tries to go out the window.”

“Is that how he came in?” She looks incredulous.

“He didn’t know you were gone.” I touch her arm as I start toward my room.

A flash of me and then Ethan. Back to normal. Maybe I need to call Dad about the black and white flashing.

“How on earth did he navigate those huge bushes?”

“They’re now called the bushes of death.” I stifle a laugh as I hit the short hallway and open my door. Landon’s standing in the middle of my room with his jacket in his hand. I’m still half-euphoric at him being here.

“I can’t believe you and your mom.” His cheeks are flushed pink.

“You’re embarrassed. It’s cute.” I reach out and run my fingers down his stomach. Pictures of our night flood my mind. I love it. I wonder how many more times I’ll be able to live it before his mind goes to something else. Or my mind does. I have no idea how this works.

He takes a small step toward me, letting our bodies and faces touch.

I can’t see his eyes. We’re too close.

“Feeling this much is sorta new for me, so if I start to mess up, you’re gonna have to call me on it,” he whispers.

“Me, too.”
I tighten my arms.

“Good. I want some firsts with you.” His whisper is quiet and sends a wave of shivers through me that I can’t wait to feel again.

“Thank you. Maybe next time you won’t run away first thing in the morning,” I tease.

“Your mom scares me.” He pulls away so I can see his face.

“Because she’s so nice?” I pull his body toward me, but lean away so I can still see him.

“Something like that.” He bends forward and kisses me.

I pull him closer and kiss him harder. I’ve felt so alone. Being with him shows me so much of what I’ve been missing.

“I’ll be stuck with my folks a bit today, but I want to see you.” I feel his hands in my hair, running his fingers through the curls.

“Avoid the bushes of death and use the door, okay?”

He chuckles a little. “O
kay.” He slides his jacket on, and
I’m sad for it
our first night
to be over. It feels as if something will break and things between us won’t be the same. Which is crazy, right?

“Ready?” I step toward the door.

“Your mom’s out there?” He leans away from me.

“Yes, and she knows you’re in here so if you avoid seeing her by crawling through the bushes she might get offended.”

“And she’s not mad I was here last night?”

“No.” I shake my head.

“I’m trusting you.” His fingers brush the side of my face, and this moment is all I see.

“Good.” I step closer and kiss his cheek.

This is what it’s like to fall in love. I never want it to end.

TWENTY-FOUR

I’m not sure if I should be afraid of the woods around my house anymore or not. If it was Lacey, have I made my peace? Paid my price?

The idea that the voodoo woman and the shadows could be real sends random waves of panic through me.

I know nothing, and probably, I’d be better off to keep it that way. It’s been two weeks since Landon and I worked things out, but this is my first trip to his house.

The sun’s going down, but it’s still light. It
seems
safe. Am I supposed to be afraid of the shadows if they’re here? I mean, I
am
afraid, but I’ve stood on the trail and spoken with the nothing/something that might be out here. Maybe I felt more depressed on that day than I thought, simply not caring if something happened to me. I stare at my feet on our small driveway that leads to Landon’s house. Right now it just seems better to not know. Not looking means not knowing.

Walking only lasts for a few steps before I take off into a run. The pavement stops me. Landon’s house stands nearly as imposing as my trip through the woods.

I can’t believe I’m doing this, walking up to his house like this.  Not just Landon’s house, the
Michaels’
house.
Senator Michaels.
The weirdo who I almost ran into at the edge of the trees. I
stand next to the front door, take one slow breath in
,
and slowly exhale
. I shake my arms out a few times, until I think I might be able to make my voice sound normal if Landon’s not the one to answer the door.

When I hit the bell, my hand jerks back, and I shift my weight.
Please be Landon, please be Landon…
I start to turn away when the door opens.

Mr. Michael’s frame fills up the large doorway. He’s in slacks, and a dress shirt rolled up to his elbows. Like he’s trying to be casual, but the material is too nice for that. I suck in my breath. My voice is gone, completely. I open my mouth a few times to speak, but I can’t make it happen. Not good.

“Nice to see you again, Micah.” His deep voice vibrates through me, and sets my nerves even more on edge.

All I can see is the man peering out from underneath his raincoat hood in the dark.

“Hi…uh, sir.”
Sir? Do I sound like a complete moron?
I rub my hands on my hips a few times and then realize we should probably shake hands. He’s a senator. What will he be thinking about? The latest bill? Committee fights? Page boys? Interns? His wife? Will it be rude if I don’t take the initiative?

He steps back, making space for me to walk through. “We were just talking about you. Come on in.”
             

“Me?” My heart’s hammering. I definitely don’t want to know what the conversation was about.

“Yes.” He pats my back.

Four boys running in the yard, pride, laughter, sunshine.

It takes me a moment, but I finally find Landon. He’s the youngest and has the biggest smile. It actually relaxes me. Anyone who feels this for their children is a good man. Mr. Michaels is taller than Landon, well over six feet. His brown hair is tinged with gray and he walks and moves with purpose and confidence—easily, calmly, and without hesitation. Though he is in
his
house.

“Micah.” Mrs. Michaels waves me in. “It’s so nice to see you. Come sit down.”

“Thanks.” I step slowly into the living room and sit on the edge of a large chair. “I was, um, looking for Landon. He asked if I’d come over?”

“He’s in his room.” Mr. Michaels sits down next to his wife. Neither of them make any move to get Landon or tell me where he is.

Right.

I’m suddenly in an interrogation room. I’m sure of it. They’re on one side of the coffee table, together on the couch. I’m across from them. On the very edge of the chair. By myself.

“How are you and your mom liking the house?” Landon’s mom smiles.

“Very much. Thank you.” I fold my hands in my lap. Maybe I should have changed before I came over. I look down at my faded jeans that coul
d probably use a wash, and old T
-shirt. Landon’s mom is in off-white slacks, and her sweater is probably cashmere or something. Their house feels too large and clean for me.

“Are you headed to college in the fall?” Mr. Michaels asks.

“Yes.” Okay. Safe answer. I’m okay. I’m doing okay.

“Do you know where yet?”

“I’ve been accepted to U of W, CSU, OSU and a few schools near my dad, on the east coast.”

“All on the coasts, huh?” Mr. Michaels asks.

Without meaning to, I breathe in at the thought of it. “I love the water.”

“Landon, too.” Mr. Michaels sits back on the couch, touching his chin with his hand.

“He’s kind of a loner that way.” I don’t even mean to say it out loud, it just comes out.

“A loner?” Mr. Michaels sits up. “Landon?” A smile breaks out across his face. “That kid seems to find himself in large groups doing all sorts of things he shouldn’t be doing.” He’s still smiling, but there’s an edge of irritation to his voice.

“Sometimes there’s more solitude in large groups.” My voice is barely above a whisper.

“Hmm.” The Michaels exchange glances. “That’s very perceptive.”

“Jane Austen. It’s in one of my favorite lines from
Persuasion
,” I explain. Will I sound like I’m just trying to suck up?

“You read a lot?” Mrs. Michaels asks.

“All the time.”

“O
h, well.” Mr. Michaels stands
. “Follow me.”

I glance at his wife who
gives me an encouraging smile, but leans back into the couch. Guess she’s not coming. Perfect. I try to shake out another round of nerves.

I stand up and follow the senator. Where’s Landon? Can’t he hear us down here? Where is Mr. Michaels taking me? Can I just run out of the house and not look crazy? Sadly, I already know the answer to my last question.
             

“Has my son mentioned this scheme of his to you?” He glances over his shoulder.

I’m following him down a hallway, still on the first floor.

I sift through our conversations.  If I say something Landon hasn’t talked to his dad about, I might get him in trouble. I’m guessing this has to do with taking a year off of school to sail, but I’m not even sure if Landon’s that serious about it.

“I take your silence to mean he probably has.” Mr. Michaels stops at a set of double doors and opens them, motioning with his hand for me to go through.

I step into the dark. The light comes on, and I’m in a library. It’s two stories tall with a balcony and everything. I feel like I’ve stepped onto the set of
My Fair Lady
.

“This is incredible.” I exhale.

“Yeah, all my boys like to read. And I’d be lying if I said that part of it wasn’t just the idea of having a spot like this in my house.” A corner of his mouth twitches as he looks around the massive room.

I appreciate his honesty, and start to think that maybe my first impression of him was off.

“What will you do in school?”

“I have absolutely no idea.” I know Mom really wants me to go. Almost like she needs me to after it taking her so long. “Probably English, because I love reading so much.”

“Always best to work toward your strengths.” Mr. Michaels’s shifts his weight next to me. “I’m sure you have some interesting talents, Micah.” His words worm through me, making me uneasy—like he’s hinting at the thing I don’t tell anyone. Did Landon say something to him about my visions? No. There’s no way. Is there...?

“Um.” I have no idea what to say. Not when it feels like he might be implying something I’m nowhere near ready to admit. I feel shaky now, nervous. I scan the room. The only way out is the way we came in. Will it matter?
Where
is Landon? I swallow the ball of nerves that’s lodged itself in my throat. “I guess.” Only I can’t really think of any “interesting talents” aside from my visions, which seem to be broken at the moment—the weirdness from Mom being my evidence.

“Hmm.” His eyes still study me too carefully.

Why did I come? Why didn’t I text him on my way over to make sure he was the one who opened the door? That would have been pretty simple.

We stare at one another for a few moments. Now I have to break my eyes away to look around the large room again. That should seem normal. Not rude.