Insight (19 page)

No. A form takes shape. Almost person-like, but black, transparent. My adrenaline is pumping and my legs are pushing, needing to see more clearly needing to
know
. I stop when I’m completely out of breath—near the water. Whatever was running in front of me, or with me, has disappeared. I’m both terrified and relieved.
And too in shock to internalize.

“Please leave me alone.” I sit on the forest floor. “Lacey. I’ll tell him. I’ll do whatever you want. Just please, leave me alone.” I’m out of breath from running in the woods, and I’m talking to someone or something that may or may not be here.

“And if you’re a shadow, and you’re here because you think I’m talented. I’m not. It’s a glitch, not a talent, and it sucks.” I’m still gasping for air after my run.

And this pretty much solidifies it, but doesn’t answer my question. I am completely insane, or I’m being stalked. Both options are terrifying.

***

“You ready?” Landon calls from my hallway.
             

“Be out in a sec!”

But there is no way to express how much I don’t want to go. Right now I’m not even sure if I want to leave my house. I know I saw something in the woods. I know it ran from me, or moved from me, and I know that I don’t want to think or talk about Lacey ever again. There’s also the matter of the bizarre panic/anger vision I’ve now gotten from Brigitte, Landon and Steven, which involves me. I slide the tiny pepper spray Dad got me into my hoodie pocket, and step out of my room.

Landon’s waiting in the hallway—lightweight jacket, simple tee, nice jeans. His white smile and happy face is for me. It’s certainly not for what we’re doing tonight.

“Come on, Micah. Tonight is the party. The fun part of Lacey’s whole mess, okay? I need this.”

Of course he does. Him more than anyone. What he should be saying is that I didn’t know her. I shouldn’t have this sad, hesitant face for someone I hardly knew. Landon doesn’t know that he, Lacey, and I are connected in this weird way, and it’s either her ghost or something else that shouldn’t be here, somewhere in the woods outside my house.

We step outside together, and as much as I want to kiss him, I’m not sure I’m ready to touch him—mostly since I don’t know which picture I’ll see.

The sun’s going down, but it’s still light and I very purposefully stare at the ground.

“You, okay?” he asks as he opens my door for me. Amazing how fast I got used to riding around in Landon’s shiny car.

“Yeah. Just…a lot of people I don’t know.”

He laughs.
Laughs
. “You’ll be fine, Micah.”

“You know what I mean.”

He does his signature Landon shrug, closes my door,
and jumps in his side. He
touches my cheek
,
and I close my eyes. The picture of us so close, bodies together, still scares and excites me at the same time, and I’m already on edge. Not that seeing us that close doesn’t put me on edge as well. It’s just a whole different kind of fear as the fear I get from the shapes moving in the woods.

“Tell me,” he whispers through his soft laugh.

“You’re making me hang with Josh and Cameron tonight, am I right?” I let my eyes find his.

“Point made.” He smiles widely again, puts his car in reverse and we head out.

***

The bonfire is high and the mood is as light as Landon promised. There’s a creek and a large sandbar here that flows into the ocean. Tables and park benches are scattered around
a large fire,
and Landon’s body is pressed to mine as we sit. There are probably fifty or so people from our school. Everyone’s jumping into the water, laughing, running, sitting… The sun’s down and the light comes from the fire and the last bits of light after sunset. I have to just watch it all with detachment. Feeling this moment doesn’t seem like an option.

And it hits me. The setting. Whatever happens to me, happens here. Maybe Lacey’s ghost drags me into the woods or something. I grab my stomach as it flips over.

“What about Josh?” Landon leans over and whispers.

Perfect. Distraction. He wants to know what I see, and that seems like a much better thing to think about than trying to figure out or stop something that’s so vague. “Josh is easy. Football, porn and beer. That’s all I’ve ever seen from him.” I chuckle a little because it’s so much better to concentrate on this than on Lacey.

“Well, I could have told you that. Good thing we didn’t start with him, or I’d have
never
believed you.” He touches his nose to my cheek.

“Very funny.”

“It’s true.” He leans away and then takes my hand. Playing with me again.

Panic. Anger. He’s running toward me. Steven’s running. Someone’s next to me. I’m in the woods on the other side of the creek.

I suck in a breath.

“
Please
tell me,” he whispers in my ear.

Lisa sits across from us on the park table. Perfect timing. I’m saved once again from Landon’s persistence. She at least looks at me this time, without her scowl.

“Nope,” I say, smiling sideways at Landon. Good save, Micah. Only now I know I just need to stay on this side of the creek, and everything will be fine.

“How about her?” His voice is so soft I can barely make out the words.

I cross my legs under the table and purposefully bump into her.
It’s Josh. He’s kissing her
.

“Excuse you, Landon.” Lisa kicks
him
back underneath the table.

I stifle a laugh.

It’s warm out, Landon keeps his hands on me, and I haven’t touched anyone I didn’t want to. Maybe this is all okay, but my nerves are still all hyped up from the surroundings.

Josh jumps onto the bench next to Lisa and she feeds him a hotdog. He eats it with the amount of obnoxious enthusiasm I expect from him.

My foot brushes his as I re-cross my legs
,
and I see him kiss Lisa from his perspective. He really likes her.

I catch Landon’s eyes and then look back and forth between Lisa and Josh.

“What?” he asks. “Them?” He shakes his head. He doesn’t believe me. I don’t know how that’s possible—Josh is eating from her hands—but maybe that’s a normal thing.

“Okay, how are you guys even
talking
?” Josh laughs through a mouthful.

“We’re not.” Landon grabs me and kisses me, mouth wide open. It’s something I’d expect from Josh, but I love the attention anyway.

“Okay.” I shove him away, but I’m immediately sorry knowing we’ll have to make contact again.

“So this.” Josh points between us, an eyebrow cocked. “Going on long?”

“Long enough.” Landon’s hand squeezes mine.

“All right,” Josh says. “I’m bored. No alcohol. Let’s play Landon’s favorite game. What would you do if you had three million dollars?”  He laughs so loud that I can see the food in his mouth.

“Three?” I put my elbows on the table. “That’s sort of an arbitrary number isn’t it?”

“Ask Landon.” Josh kicks him under the table.

Landon’s looking down like he doesn’t want to talk. “You’re such a prick, Josh.”

“I don’t get it,” I say.

Josh’s face is still full of laughter. Landon’s fighting not to be angry. I can hear him trying to take slow breaths next to me, and he’s silent and unmoving. Both are rare for him. And all of this is great. This is the kind of playful conversation I’ve longed for, and I’m right in the middle of this moment. I just can’t let myself think about the girl that brought me here.

“It’s Landon’s money.” Lisa rolls her eyes, like how could I not know this.

“Three
million
?” My breath catches. If I lived carefully I could live on three million dollars my whole life. When he said money, nothing like three million ever crossed my mind.

“It’s stupid.” Landon shakes his head and sits back in his seat. He actually looks down. How can you feel down when you’re reminded that you’ll probably never have to worry about money,
ever
?

“Landon, you can be such a weirdo.” Lisa takes a bite of bread.

I decide to answer, to take the focus off of him. My fingers tighten around his. “I’d travel,” I say. I’m holding in my shock at the amount pretty well. “I’d see everything, live in cheap hotels, do whatever it takes to see as much of the world as I could. Maybe do it on a boat.” I smile and tip Landon’s leg with my knee.

“You’re a few kinds of awesome, you know that?” He puts his hand under my chin and kisses me.

“You two are going to make me gag.” Josh kicks him under the table again.

“It’s good for you.” Landon laughs and kisses me again. “Take notes, Josh. This is how to be a nice guy.”

I can’t believe this. I’m sitting with kind-of friends—the sweetest, hottest guy I could dream up is next to me. He can’t seem to keep his mouth or his hands off me.

Now I just have to find a way to make sure nothing changes. And that I stay on this side of the creek.

“Walk with me.” Landon stands up.

“Okay.” I take his hand and his fear picture hits me again.

I pause this time, trying to focus on the details. Everything in my vision is the same.
I’m on the other side of the creek, against the trees. Someone in dark clothes is close to me. Landon and Steven are running toward us.
This sucks.

“Are you alright?” He squeezes my hand.

“Too many people,” I lie. But I don’t even know why I’m lying at this point. Well. I’m lying to protect him. I can’t stop things from happening, and I hate that, but he shouldn’t be put in that same position—of knowing something might happen to me, but be powerless to stop it.

We move through some small trees to the edge of the creek.

“Holy shit.” Landon sprints forward. “You okay, man?” He pats someone on the back.

My heart sprints, but whoever he’s touching has on a white T-shirt. Whoever they see me with is in black. This is okay. I’m still okay. But my hands are shaking, telling me otherwise.

“Who is it?” I ask.

“It’s me.” A guy’s voice.

“It’s Cameron. This was supposed to be a non-drinking party.” Landon sighs. “I need to get him some water or something.”

Cameron groans, hunches over on the log, and throws up into the creek.

I jump back, making sure none of the splash gets on me, every nerve on edge. I want the fire. To be away from the creek.

“I’ll be right back. Will you just make sure he doesn’t drown?” Landon chuckles.

I nearly reach out for him, but am too scared about what I might see. I should just run away. Go to his car. But he already has to wonder about how weird I am. Maybe they all do. “Don’t be gone long, okay?”

Landon pauses for a moment, watching me in the dim light. “Okay. I’ll hurry back.” He turns and jogs away.

Cameron and I are in near blackness.

My chest tightens, as I move as far away from him as I can. All I know of Cameron is him calling Landon an asshole, and he and Lisa getting into some sort of situation that Landon felt she needed rescuing from.

I slide my hand in my pocket and clutch my pepper spray. But how could I be afraid of Cameron when he’s hunched over a log, and wearing a white T-shirt?
I’m looking for someone in black. Not white. I’m okay.

Maybe there are
shadows here, and that’s why I saw black.
I spin and
scan the trees lining the creek wondering if I even want to know. Do I run? Will it do any good? Should I just close my eyes and hope that whatever happens, happens fast?

“Micah, right?” He lifts his head.

“Yeah.”

“Can you grab my sweatshirt?”

“Ummm.” I glance around, but it’s too dark.

“It’s okay. I got it.” He hefts himself off the log, and he’s a lot bigger than he seems in school. Maybe just because it’s dark. Either way I take a step back.

He grabs a dark sweatshirt off the ground and slides it over his head.

My chest constricts, and my stomach drops. He’s in black, and is very large. That’s enough to get me out of here. I pull the small pepper spray out of my pocket, but he hasn’t done anything. I’m okay. My brain’s telling my feet to move backwards, but my body won’t go. Frozen.

Right now I’m trying to stop something
from happening, only
maybe
I can’t prevent anything, and that’s why I’m frozen. No. I can move.
I can.

“Landon will be back for you in a minute.” I move away, my feet splashing in the creek.

“Not for a while.” I can’t make out his expression, but he’s following me.

I stumble and nearly fall backwards.

Cameron reaches out and grabs my arm forcing me to drop my pepper spray into the water. I try to scream, but nothing comes out. Cameron’s hands are tight around my arms as he pushes me backwards and through the water to the far side of the creek.