Instant Prairie Family (Love Inspired Historical) (18 page)

Chapter Fourteen

T
he Monday after their return from town, Will, Jake and Colin left as soon as morning chores were done and spent the day building the foundation for Colin’s cabin. He’d filed on a homestead a half hour’s ride from theirs. It was close enough to church that anyone could find him if they needed the preacher in a hurry.

The next morning, the three men did their morning chores and then left for Colin’s cabin, returning at afternoon chore time and eating the evening meal with Abby and the boys. The pattern continued until Friday morning.

“Well, Abby, I am forever indebted to you for feeding me so well.” Colin thanked her after breakfast on Friday morning. “I reluctantly have to bid you and the boys goodbye until Sunday. My cabin’s finished enough for me to sleep in it and not have to worry about unwelcomed visitors or water dripping on my head. I imagine that being such close neighbors, you and Will can invite this poor preacher over from time to time to enjoy your good cooking.”

He stood and hugged her close as a big brother would. Stepping back just a space, he whispered, “I’ll be praying for you both. Don’t give up. Even though he denies it, he loves you. It’ll just take time. Trust the Lord. You’re the best blessing the Lord has ever lavished on that old hardhead.”

Colin winked and it made Abby giggle. It felt good to smile. As the three men saddled up, Abby stood on the porch and waited for them to wave goodbye. Will circled back and kept his horse prancing at the foot of the steps. It put him eye level with Abby. She liked not having to look up to him while they spoke.

“Listen, if you get a chance, could you make up my room, and Jake’s? I guess there’s no need for us to be sleeping in the barn when there are two perfectly good beds inside to use.”

Abby nodded.

“Well, I’ll see you tonight.” And before she was able to come up with a fitting reply, he reined his horse around and trotted off after the others.

That night, Abby noticed that she felt safer somehow, knowing Will slept just upstairs instead of out in the barn. It made the house seem smaller, cozy. She liked having everyone under one roof. If only Will would admit that this was the way things should be. But he remained stubbornly insistent that she would never be happy out on the prairie. At times she wondered if it wouldn’t just be better to move back East somewhere and bury herself in mundane work, far from the reminders that she was married to a man who didn’t want her. A man who refused to even entertain the idea of making her his.

But no matter where she went, she knew she would always be able to close her eyes and picture his face, his blue eyes sparkling as he laughed with Tommy or his forehead wrinkled in thought as he tried to answer the boy’s questions. And when she closed her eyes, she could still almost feel the gentleness of his lips on hers on their wedding day or smell his scent as he hugged her close the day he returned from his trip to town. She’d cherish the time she had with Tommy, Willy and Jake, too. But her heart had become attached to Will more than any other.

* * *

Abby hesitated at the door of the church. She felt tired and discouraged. Will barely took the time to spare her a word much less take a cup of tea with her on Friday or Saturday nights. She had hoped that now that Colin was in his own home and Will and Jake were staying indoors, they’d have more opportunities to talk, but it hadn’t worked out that way at all.

Mrs. Scotts and Mrs. Becker both greeted her as she entered the church building, but what she longed for was a true friend. Someone like Mrs. Gibbons, the pastor’s wife back in Ohio, or even her own nieces. A woman whom she could confide in and who would understand her. Instead, Colin greeted her as she followed Will and the boys to their pew. He was kind and a good friend, but he didn’t make up for a woman who could understand her heart.

“Before you leave, I need to speak to you,” Colin whispered. Abby nodded just before sitting down next to Tommy.

During the service, Abby had the strangest sensation that Colin’s message was somehow directed toward her and she tried to drink in every word. He spoke about how God’s plans and timing are not always ours. He pointed out that God made promises He fulfilled years later, sometimes even centuries later. Colin read from Genesis and from Hebrews about how God used faithful men and women to do His work, many of whom never saw a reward for their labor this side of heaven. As Colin spoke, Abby felt torn. She knew that Colin was using these passages to encourage everyone to keep serving the Lord, letting God use their lives for His purpose. But she also understood that Colin’s message meant that sometimes God answered prayers only after the faithful souls reached heaven. Was that His plan for her prayer for a home and family of her own?

By the end of the service, Abby dreaded speaking with Colin because she suspected he held news from the East.

“Good morning, Abby, Will,” Colin greeted them as they exited, Will right behind her. “Before you go...” He reached out, stopping her, and didn’t let go of her hand. “I just wanted to tell you I will continue to pray for...for what we talked about last time. I’m sure God has a plan and it’s just His timing, but...keep in touch.” He finally looked up into her eyes and she knew he was saying goodbye.

She didn’t trust her voice. She swung away and fled down the steps to the wagon. The boys were playing with their friends and ignored her. She was almost to the sanctuary of the wagon when Mrs. Scotts called out to her.

“Hello, Mrs. Hopkins. How are you doing, my dear?”

The older woman had always been pleasant with Abby even though Abby had chosen to marry Will instead of one of her sons. Abby swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to force a smile, as if her life weren’t falling apart once again.

“Hello, Mrs. Scotts.”

“How have you been?” The older woman’s eyes were sharp and she looked Abby over from head to toes. “Do you need me to help you into the shade?”

“No, thank you. I’m fine. I’ve been busy. This is the first year I’ve been on a farm. It’s a little different than what I’m used to.” Abby found herself blurting out anything that came to mind.

“Have you been feeling all right? You look a little pale.” Mrs. Scotts eyes looked more merry than concerned. “You aren’t nauseated in the mornings or light-headed? Do you get extra tired?”

For a moment, Abby wondered what Mrs. Scotts meant. Then realization hit. She felt her face turn crimson and swallowed back the taste of tears. If only she could be concerned about being in the family way.

“There you are, Abby.” Will’s deep voice called out from behind her, making her heart speed up and her stomach flip. He came to stand beside her, resting a hand on her shoulder. It was odd that he should do that now, after weeks of avoiding her, especially when he must now hold in his hands the letter that would send her away.

“Good afternoon, Mrs. Scotts,” he greeted the other woman. “You’ll have to excuse us. We need to get home to the chores. We’ll see you next week.” He didn’t even wait for a reply before he was leading Abby toward their wagon, calling out to Jake and the boys to say goodbye to their friends and come along.

He lifted her up by the waist. Though he released her as soon as she was seated, she could still feel the heat of his hands halfway home. Why did the letter have to come now? Her heart and mind raged at God even as she sat silently on the wagon bench, mindlessly gazing out at the prairie. She couldn’t help noticing its changes since she had arrived all those months before.

Now everything was dry and brittle. The plants that were light green spouts when Will brought her home from Twin Oaks in May had already grown, flowered, given their fruits and seeds and were now dying. The breeze that would have brought cool relief from the scorching sun just a few months ago now tore through her like a sheet of ice, numbing her face and fingers. She pulled her woolen shawl tighter around her shoulders.

Strange how her life mirrored the plants. She had been here just for a while, growing to love Tommy, Willy, Jake and especially Will, but that love seemed only to have planted seeds to what would never be. The plants, though, were fortunate enough to be staying in Nebraska. Next spring they would once again burst out of the seemingly dead ground, but Abby would be miles away. It would be only a memory, the prairie and her instant family.... The one her heart claimed as its own even though Will never wanted her.

* * *

It had finally come. Will hadn’t realized what Colin was handing him until he glanced down and saw his mother’s flowing script on the envelope. Now it all made sense. All those looks that Colin sent Abby during the service this morning were because Colin knew that Ma had finally written back. It was a good thing the letter had come today. He wasn’t sure if he could have made it through another week. Each day had been harder than the last to get through without seeking her out and confessing that his life was never going to be the same once she left.

Abby hadn’t said a word since they’d left church. At first, Will thought she was just in a quiet mood, but when she didn’t even answer the boys’ constant chatter, it dawned on him that she must have realized he’d be receiving the letter, too. His glace at her confirmed his thoughts. She was looking out at the landscape, turning her face away from him, her shoulders slumped and her chin down. An urge to fix it, make things better almost loosened his tongue. Almost. But maybe it would be better this way.

He was going to get home and read the letter and then tell her that she could leave during the week...assuming his mother had found a place for her to work. It had better be a good place, where they would treat her right and pay her well. Abby worked hard and deserved much more than what he could offer.

His barn came into view, then the rest of the property, and without too much thought he pulled up by the house, tethered the brake and jumped down, ready to help Abby from the wagon. It was a habit formed from good training on his mother’s part and had never meant much to him before. But as he stood next to the wagon, waiting for Abby to stand up, he found himself looking up into her eyes. They were red rimmed and her nose was also red as if she were getting sick.

“Do you feel okay, Abby?” Concern colored his voice and his words.

Instead of answering right away, she looked away, cleared her throat and nodded.

“Were you cold on the ride?” he tried again. “You should have said.”

“No, I’m...” Her voice sounded husky and cracked before she could finish her sentence.

He reached up and caught her around the waist, stepping forward to examine her more closely. He studied her eyes carefully, sure something was wrong.

Her face was drawn, as if she was tired and hadn’t been sleeping enough lately. Under her eyes were dark, purple smudges, reminding him of the time she had nursed the boys through the chicken pox and in the process, worn herself completely out. Seeing them made him want to send her to her room to rest, as he had done back then. Who would pay attention to her when she needed rest if she went back to Philly?

“I, um, need to get down.” Her voice brought his wandering thoughts back to the present.

He lifted her down, yet even when she was planted on solid ground, he couldn’t take his hands away. He held his wife, the one he had come to love, knowing that she would be going within the week. Something caught in his throat. His arms ached with the longing to pull her closer and hide her in his chest, letting her find comfort in his tenderness. He tried to remind himself that he was sending her away for her own good, but the reminder was no comfort now.

She pulled away and fled up the stairs, leaving him to wonder if she was fleeing from his touch. Just before the door shut, he heard her sniffle and then she was gone. What had just happened? She had looked so forlorn. Turning away, he found three pairs of eyes watching him with accusing looks.

He pulled the wagon around and put it away in the barn. Jake and the boys played horseshoes out in the yard, but Will puttered around the barn, looking for something to do with his hands. A part of him was tempted to read the letter from Ma once and for all. He had impatiently waited for it for so long, but now that it was finally in his hands, doubts filled his head.

What if the employment his mother arranged for Abby didn’t meet his approval? Should he take her back to Philadelphia himself to make sure that she arrived safely? It would be almost impossible to leave the farm for that long unless Colin was willing to stay with Jake. In his mind he started to plan what needed to be done. Until that moment, he hadn’t really considered that he was planning on sending a beautiful young woman on a train without anyone to see to her welfare. It was amazing that nothing had happened to her on her trip out.

“You’re too busy playing God.”
Her words echoed in his ears again. He was forgetting that God would be with her. God would take care of her. But what if God had wanted Will to be the man to protect her and he let both God and Abby down? He had given his word. To honor, protect, provide...until death do them part. What if...

What if she wanted to stay, just as she had claimed a week ago? The thought snuck in and blindsided him, stealing his breath. What if she actually learned to live out on the prairie? Mrs. Scotts and Mrs. Phelps had. Would it be too much to hope for?

Sooner or later there would be other settlers closer to their farm. Now that Colin was going to be just a quick ride away, others would surely start to settle near the church and a town would spring up in no time. His heart quickened with the thought. Before, he had dreaded the idea of more neighbors, busybodies nosing around in his business, but more neighbors might mean a school for his boys someday, other women friends for Abby to chat with, to trade recipes with, to visit and hold sewing bees with. A town would mean a sheriff. Maybe she would be willing to...

He had to stop this silliness. He was daydreaming like some young schoolgirl with her first crush. He called himself every kind of fool for not thinking about this until now. What he should really do was read the letter, but he didn’t want to now. He wanted to see Abby. He wanted to sit across the table from her and be able to let her know that he didn’t want her to leave. That he wanted her to stay with him, on his farm, until they were both old and gray. A sudden image of Abby carrying his child came to mind and stole his breath away. Could it be possible?