Into The Fire (30 page)

“I work during the week too. I have a new
client.”

Ash’s eyes smoldered in rage. He never cared
about my job before but now he was irritated every time I escorted
my clients. An invisible storm brewed around him but I could feel
the wind and the rain.

“I’ll be back by midnight at the latest.”

“And who is this loser who can’t get his own
date?” he snapped.

“A heartbroken man who’s trying to get his ex
back.” My purpose was to make her jealous and realize what she
lost. It was easy money. All I had to do was stand beside him and
laugh at any joke he made.

“Well…that’s childish,” he said. “You should
drop him.”

“He’s really nice.”

He didn’t hear what I said. “You should drop
all your clients. This job is stupid anyway. Do something
else.”

Ash was never bossy and controlling, at least
about things that existed outside the two of us. He never told me
what to do or where to go. He didn’t even ask me about work. “It’s
not stupid. I actually help people and I like it.”

“Come on, you’re basically a prostitute.”

My eyes widened to orbs and I prepared to
punch him in the face. “Excuse me?”

“I mean…” He tried to backpedal. “It’s
just…you’re better than this. Find something else that doesn’t make
you work nights and weekends. Do you really like your hours?”

“I don’t mind them.”

“You’re full of it.”

“I like the salary. I’ll never make this much
money doing anything else.”

“Since when did you start caring about
money?” he snapped. “There are other things that are more
important, like respect and dignity.”

I wanted to strangle him. “What the hell is
your problem, Ash? You never had a problem with my job until now.
When I told you I used to be a stripper, you didn’t care. Now, all
of a sudden, you’re acting like I’m a whore.”

He clenched his jaw and looked away.

“Knock it off or I’ll knock you out.”

He rubbed his palms together aggressively. “I
just don’t like it, okay?”

“That’s too damn bad. You’ll need to get over
it.”

He turned back to me, his eyes dark. “I don’t
like guys touching you.”

“It’s just handholding or waist
touching.”

“I don’t like any kind of touching,” he
snapped. “You’re mine. Who knows what their intent is. What if they
try to hold you down and rape you or something?”

“Now you know why we only meet in public
places.”

“Even then, he can hold a knife to you
through his coat and take you somewhere.”

“All his info is on file at the office so it
would be really stupid to pull a stunt like that.”

“Well, people are stupid,” he snapped.
“Alessandra, I don’t like this. You’re quitting.”

“I’m quitting?” I asked incredulously.

“How would you feel if I touched women all
day as part of my job?”

“You do, idiot.”

“No, I don’t,” he argued.

“You ink on people’s bodies. You mark
people’s genitals and breasts. You even pierce clits. What you do
for a living is way worse than what I do. I don’t stare at men’s
junk and get paid for it.”

“It’s not the same thing and you know
it.”

“It’s the exact same thing.”

“No, it’s not. A girl can’t hold me down and
force me to do anything.”

“And you risk getting infections that way.
You’re dealing with people’s blood.”

“I wear gloves,” he snapped. “I’m always
careful.”

I held up my hand to silence him. “You don’t
have to explain or prove anything to me when it comes to your job.
I’ve accepted your career from the beginning because I know you
love it. I’m always supportive of your dreams. You need to do the
same for me. I’m sorry if you don’t approve of it but it doesn’t
change anything.”

He gave me a cold look as he breathed
hard.

“Just let it go, Ash. You’re wasting your
time.”

He didn’t back off. “When we first met, you
wouldn’t let me walk you home. You said it was a safety precaution
because you didn’t want people to know where you lived. I know
something happened to you. Now tell me what it is.”

I was hoping he had forgotten about that. Ash
was a little dense sometimes but he had the memory of an elephant.
“Nothing happened, Ash. I’m just careful.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me.” Spit flew from his
mouth in the heat of his anger. “You gave me shit because you
thought I lied to you, and now you’re lying to me. That’s a little
hypocritical, isn’t it?”

I pressed my lips tightly together.

“Alessandra, you’re going to tell me.” He got
in my face, threatening me with his proximity. “And you aren’t
going to lie. I’ll know.”

I didn’t want to tell him because I didn’t
want to hurt him. I kept my secrets to myself because they were
easier to bury that way.

“Now.”

“I don’t want to talk about it so drop
it.”

“No,” he hissed. “I’m not going to drop it.
Now spill it.”

“How would you feel if I made you talk about
the things you’ve seen overseas?”

That only soured his mood. “I’ll tell you if
you really want to know but it’s going to hurt you. It doesn’t
affect me in the least.”

“Well, that’s how I feel about this.”

“This is different.” He was getting red in
the face. “My life in the military is over. You’re still doing this
god-awful job. Now tell me what happened or I’ll march down to
Beautiful Entourage and pester your colleagues until someone fesses
up.”

“Why would I tell you when you’re being so
insensitive about it?”

“I’m not,” he said quietly. “But I need to
know. You’re my woman.”

“I’m not even your girlfriend,” I reminded
him. “I’m just some girl you see exclusively.”

He clenched his jaw in irritation.

“So why should I tell you anything? I’m not
obligated to do anything.”

“You are my girlfriend.” He held my gaze as
he said it. “I don’t like labels or words of commitment, but that’s
what you are. The other night, some girl came on to me and I told
her I had a girlfriend. There. Are you happy now?”

Actually, yes.

“Now tell me, Alessandra. I’ve got all
night.”

He was never going to let this go. “Fine…but
you aren’t going to like it.”

“I figured.”

“I was escorting this guy and he seemed
perfectly nice. He was a little…unusual. When I asked what the
purpose of hiring me was, he didn’t really have an answer. And he
never introduced me to friends or family. He just took me out to
dinner and the movies.”

Ash bowed his head like he couldn’t handle
anything else I might say.

“Do you want me to stop?” I whispered.

“No.”

“He walked me to Beautiful Entourage one
evening, and instead of saying goodbye like usual, he tried to kiss
me.” I remembered that night vividly. “I pushed him away and told
him to back off. Just when I thought he did, he shoved me inside
the office and tried to…you know.”

Ash closed his eyes like he was in pain.

I grabbed a stapler off a desk then crushed
it against his skull.

“Tell me you killed him,” he blurted.

I shook my head. “I just knocked him out and
called the cops.”

“So, nothing else happened?”

“No,” I answered. “But it really shook me up.
I’m constantly on my guard and distrustful of every client. You’re
the first one that I felt one hundred percent comfortable
with.”

He continued to stare at the floor, his lips
pressed tightly and his knuckles white. He didn’t say anything but
the hostility and rage erupting from him said everything I needed
to know.

“Nothing happened so it’s really not a big
deal,” I whispered. “I have mace in my purse as well as a taser.
I’m always prepared. But I’ve never had a client like that
since.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he
asked coldly.

“Yes, actually.”

“Well, it doesn’t,” he snapped. “And I don’t
want you working there anymore.”

This was going to lead to another fight. We
were finally together but the tension was rising. “I understand
your concern, but it’s really fine. I’m not quitting my job.”

He turned to me, his eyes black. “I don’t
think you understood me.” His voice was colder than a winter
morning. “You. Are. Quitting.”

“You don’t tell me what to do.”

“That’s funny because I think I just did.” He
was too far gone to come back. “Not only is this job disrespectful
to me, but it’s dangerous for you. What kind of boyfriend would be
okay with this? I can promise you none would. Do any of the girls
you work with have boyfriends or husbands?”

I hated that my answer was no.

“You needed the money and I understand that
but you don’t need it anymore.”

“Actually, I do,” I argued. “How else am I
supposed to make rent and buy groceries?”

He waved his hand in front of my face like a
jackass. “Hello? Remember me?”

“I’m not taking anything from you.”

“Why the hell not?” he demanded. “I have
money. And I’m going to have even more money when the shop is
running. I can support you.”

“First, you couldn’t figure out if you wanted
to be my boyfriend but now you want me to move in and live off
you?” I crossed my arms over my chest. “That doesn’t make any
sense, Ash.”

Steam blew out of his nostrils. “I guess all
of this is making me realize how much I care about you. I can’t
stand the idea of something happening to you. I will do absolutely
anything to make you happy and keep you safe. Never in my life have
I felt that way, but there’s a first time for everything.”

It was a sweet thing to say but I was too
angry to appreciate it. “While I understand how you feel, it
doesn’t change anything. This job gives me benefits and allows me
to afford the lifestyle I’ve always wanted. I don’t have any other
skills and I never went to college. There’s nothing else for me
unless I want to make minimum wage.”

That wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear.
“And what about when you get old? I’m sure you’ll be a MILF but I
doubt anyone is going to pay for your services.”

I tried not to rise to his words. “I’ve been
saving for retirement.”

He clenched his jaw again. “I need a
secretary. Work for me.”

“And why would I want to do that?”

“You’d get to see me every day and you would
be safe.”

“Well, I don’t want to work a counter and
make minimum wage. At least my job is fun and exciting.”

He slammed his hands down on the coffee table
and almost broke it. “Goddammit, Alessandra. Work with me
here.”

“Ash, I’m sorry.” I really was. “But you
wouldn’t change your career for me and I won’t change mine for you.
I won’t change it for anyone. If it bothers you too much, I
completely understand. It’s not for everybody. And maybe we should
just end this because things will never change.” He needed to
understand I wouldn’t completely change my life for him. I already
made the sacrifice to pursue this relationship even though it was
so unsteady. Ash wasn’t the commitment kind of guy and I was
putting my heart on the line.

“You’re right.”

I breathed a sigh of relief now that the
fight was over.

“This isn’t for me.” He raised his hands and
turned from me. “And I’m walking away.”

What? I felt my heart sink into my body. It
was on fire and torched until it was black.

Ash grabbed his keys and wallet and headed to
the door. “Have a good life, Alessandra.” He walked out and slammed
the door as hard as he could. It collided with the panel and shook
the walls.

I stared at the door, unable to believe that
just happened.

He really left.

***

“Is everything okay?” Tim asked as he pulled
me aside. His family was chatting away in the kitchen, drinking tea
and having a good time. Tim examined me like he thought I might
faint.

“I’m sorry…I just had a bad day.”

“What happened?” he asked.

I didn’t want to talk about it, especially to
a client. “It’s nothing. I’m sorry I’ve been a bit distant.”

“Well, I don’t want to seem like an ass but
you haven’t made any impression on my family. My mom asked you a
question and you didn’t respond.”

She did? Goddammit.
“I’m so
sorry.”

“If I’m supposed to make Abigail, jealous you
need to do a better job.”

“I know…I’m sorry.”

He put his arm around my waist and guided me
back to the sitting area. When we sat on the couch, I engaged his
mom in a conversation about quilting, her favorite pastime. I
concentrated on being the best girlfriend possible, wanting Tim to
get back together with the girl he really wanted.

I needed to stop thinking about Ash.

***

Tim walked me back to Beautiful Entourage
around eleven. The streets were quiet because everyone was at home
watching TV or sleeping. He kept his hands in his pockets and
didn’t touch me. “You picked up the slack at the end.”

“I’m sorry it took me so long to get my head
in the game.”

“It’s okay. I’m here to talk if you need
it.”

Tim was practically a stranger. “It’s boy
trouble…something that would put you to sleep.”

“Try me.” He gave me a slight smile.

“Well, my boyfriend hates my job. He wants me
to quit.”

“I can understand that,” he said. “Going out
with different guys and pretending to be their girlfriend would
ruffle any guy’s feathers. I’m sure it makes him jealous, but he
probably worries about your safety too.”

“Most of the guys I escort are totally
harmless.”

“Most, but not all.”

I shrugged.

“You guys had a bad fight?”

“Actually, we broke up a few hours before I
met you…” I couldn’t believe he walked out of my life like that.
After everything we’d been through just to be together, I thought
he would do anything to keep me. I guess I was wrong.