Into the Light (Untwisted series Book 3) (21 page)

I had possibly – OK, intentionally – banged around a bit whilst setting up the coffee maker hoping to wake Nicholas and Rebecca, or perhaps they were just early risers, because not long after the coffee had brewed I was joined by them, both looking sleep-tousled but happy.

‘I saw you two in the papers this morning,’ I said as way of greeting, chucking down the copy I’d brought from the café. I watched as Rebecca picked it up and looked at the picture with wide eyes. At a guess I’d say it was her first experience of being in a national newspaper. If she was planning on sticking with Nicholas she’d better get used to it, he was quite a magnet for the journalists now that his piano playing had hit the big time.

Handing them both a cup of coffee I leaned back on the counter and sipped my own drink whilst they skimmed the article. Nicholas slipped an arm around Rebecca’s waist and read over her shoulder, looking rather pleased with himself – no doubt as a result of catching himself such an incredible woman. Could I do that? Be with one woman and look that happy? I was starting to think that I could if that woman was Stella.

‘Rebecca, can I grab you for five minutes again?’ I asked, too impatient to wait for her to finish her entire coffee. I wanted to speak to her and then make tracks home to Stella.

‘You can’t ‘
grab her
’ at all, brother,’ Nicholas warned me with a glare as his possessive grip on Rebecca tightened. I almost smiled as I thought back to my own over reaction when I’d seen Stella out with her brother. At least now I knew exactly how Nicholas felt.

‘You know what I mean, Nicholas. Five minutes’ chat,’ I explained patiently with a shake of my head. Rebecca smiled up at Nicholas and then shrugged out of his arm to lead me to the lounge again. She certainly seemed more relaxed around me this week, which was good.

Taking up my usual position by the fireplace I glanced around and smirked – this was becoming like our regular therapy room. Not bothering with any preamble I got straight to the point. ‘I did what you said. We went out to the park last weekend; walked a while and ate ice-cream. I think Stella enjoyed it. We had sex afterwards, no funny stuff, just normal sex … it was good … really good actually.’ I almost surprised myself by how true my words were. There had been no kink at all, but still it had been some of the best sex of my life.

‘Maybe you should discuss this with Nicholas …’ Rebecca mumbled. I would have totally missed her embarrassment if it weren’t for the flush that crept to her cheeks, but I couldn’t speak to Nicholas about this, not yet, not until I definitely knew if Stella wanted to try a relationship with me. No, I needed Rebecca’s advice, she’d just have to get over her embarrassment and help me.

‘No Rebecca, you’ve changed Nicholas, I see that, I want to change too, I need your advice.’ I stepped closer, using full eye-contact as I had with Stella last week. I was actually getting quite good at it. ‘I’m fairly sure my father used to be in charge in the bedroom too, my room was next door and I …’ I paused, realising that now it was me who was embarrassed, ‘… I saw and heard certain, uh … things,’ I finished with a narrowed expression as I remembered back to some of the messed up things I’d seen my father doing to my mother.

Rebecca looked about ready to run from the room so I sidestepped to block her path. There was one question I needed the answer to before she left. ‘Do you and Nicholas do any kinky stuff now, any bondage or punishments at all?’ I demanded hotly.

‘I’m really not comfortable discussing this, Nathan. It’s up to you and Stella to set the boundaries,’ she murmured awkwardly.

A frown knit my brows together and I scowled down at her, not pleased by her answer at all. Didn’t she realise I needed clear, definitive answers? I was just about to demand she tell me, when Rebecca seemed to relent on a sigh. ‘Nicholas and I talked about what we both liked and what I disliked and there is certain stuff we don’t do any more, but it’s a personal thing. You need to sit down with Stella and ask her opinions.’

OK – ask her opinion. I wasn’t the world’s best talker but surely I could do that if it meant that Stella might stay with me and give me a chance at something more with her? I nodded, running a hand nervously through my hair at the prospect of the conversation I needed to have with Stella. ‘Right, ask her opinion, got it. You mean what rules we stick to? Which toys she likes, things like that?’

Rebecca blushed, the colour reaching up to her hairline. ‘Er, yeah. You might want to loosen up on the rules bit, Nathan; normal relationships don’t use them quite the way you do. She needs to feel like an individual as well as your partner.’

‘OK … reassess the rules and ask her opinion on sexual stuff … I’ll go and do that now,’ I stated firmly, before heading out of the lounge door and practically running into Nicholas who was loitering outside the door with a protective frown on his face.

‘Thanks, Rebecca. Bye, Nicholas,’ I called as I practically jogged down the stairs to my car so I could head home to Stella.

Unfortunately when I got home my excitement about developing my relationship with Stella was brought to an abrupt halt by a slight problem. There was no Stella. In fact, Stella and all traces of her were gone from my apartment – it was as if she had never been there at all. What the fuck?

Chapter Thirteen – Stella

It was Saturday morning and I was lounging on the sofa feeling well and truly sorry for myself. Kenny came sailing into the adjoining kitchen humming a dreadfully tuneless song wearing only a pair of black
Batman
pants and nothing else. Thank God I wasn’t hung-over because the sight of Kenny in Y-fronts would quite possibly have prompted a very speedy vomiting session. To be fair to Kenny, he had quite a nice body; it was the Y-fronts that were vomit inducing – I’d always hated them on a man, but then realistically you’d have to be hung like a horse to ever make them look vaguely passable.

As it was I just grimaced, and tutted – if I couldn’t see Nathan’s near-naked body I didn’t want to see anyone else’s either. ‘For God’s sake, Kenny, cover yourself up!’ I mumbled grumpily, digging myself deeper into the cushions on the sofa so I was well and truly cocooned in preparation for my day of moping.

Letting out a piercing shriek Kenny jumped a mile into the air, spraying coffee beans everywhere and then turned to me, clutching his chest dramatically. Oh my God, the pants got worse – on the front, right over his groin, was written
The Dark Knight Rises
. How very Kenny.

‘Christ, Stella, you nearly gave me a heart attack! What the hell are you doing here on a weekend, you’re normally with …’ Dumping the coffee on the counter with a loud clatter Kenny smacked himself on the forehead and winced apologetically, ‘I’m such an insensitive knob … sorry, I totally forgot you split up.’

Sighing heavily I felt like informing Kenny that Nathan and I hadn’t split up, he’d simply torn up my contract, removed my collar, and buggered off. All information I’d kept to myself at my drinking session with Kenny last Monday night; I bit my lip and kept the mortifying details quiet. And how Kenny had forgotten we’d split up I had no idea, I’d been like a bear with an exceptionally sore head all week. Climbing from the sofa I found the dust pan and brush, knelt by the sink and started brushing up the spilt beans as a distraction to my depressing thoughts.

‘It’s fine,’ I huffed. It wasn’t fine, but what else could I say? I fell for a guy who told me our relationship would only ever be about sex and now he’s gone I miss him so much that I want to crawl into a pit and die? Perhaps that was a little dramatic. Maybe living with Kenny the drama queen was starting to rub off on me.

‘So what are your plans this weekend then?’ Kenny asked brightly, ‘I bet now you’ve finally got a Saturday free you’ve got loads of stuff to catch up on.’ Bless him, Kenny was obviously trying to make me feel better, but it wasn’t working. I had nothing to do. No a thing. Had my weekends been this dull and empty before I met Nathan?

Our slightly awkward exchange was suddenly interrupted by the chiming of our doorbell, informing us that someone was at the main entrance to the flats. I continued with my brushing as Kenny skipped over to see who it was before staggering back in shock, making a high pitched noise in his throat which sounded rather like a car alarm. ‘Oh my God, Stella, it’s him!’ Kenny whispered, flicking frantic stares between the camera and my prone form on the floor. There was no need to ask who the ‘
him
’ was he was referring to – the horrified look on Kenny’s face made it perfectly clear who it was.
Nathan
.

‘What should I do?’ he whispered again, although why he was whispering was a mystery to me, there was no way Nathan would have been able to hear him; the camera didn’t contain a microphone and we were three floors up. Nathan would have to have ears like a bat to hear Kenny’s voice from down there. But they weren’t bat like at all – from memory Nathan’s ears were pretty perfect, just like the bloody rest of him.

‘Ignore it,’ I said tightly. Easing my reluctant body from the floor I dumped the wasted coffee beans into the bin before joining Kenny by the intercom.
Fuck
, even through the grainy black and white image of the security camera Nathan looked just as bloody glorious as he would have done in full high definition colour. Glorious but angry, by the looks of the scowl on his face.

Turning my back on the image I squeezed my eyes closed to try and shut down the pain now radiating in my chest. Why was he here? We were over, for God’s sake. Was he here to torment me and remind me how much I still wanted him? I’d moved all my things out of my room at his place and left it tidy enough, what the hell could I have done wrong?

Clutching the wall I tried to breathe slowly and ease the pain in my lungs. I’d never been in love before, but given the utter misery of the last week, not to mention the pain currently burning in my chest, what I felt for Nathan must be bloody close. I was so sodding naive to enter a relationship with him and not see this coming. My head dropped until my chin touched my chest. God, I loved Nathan and he’d finished with me. My life really was well and truly shit.

‘He looks angry,’ Kenny commented, his eyes still latched to the screen. I suspected that whilst being supportive of me he was also getting his fill of my ex’s delicious features. ‘Don’t you want to know what he wants?’

I did and I didn’t. It wouldn’t be anything good though, would it? After ripping up my contract and removing my choker he’d made his feelings towards me perfectly clear. Nope, I was better off keeping my distance, I’d made it through a week and was well on the way to getting over him. A near hysterical laugh bubbled in my throat – over him? What a complete load of rubbish! I was nowhere near over him, but seeing him in person certainly wasn’t going to help so I began to cross the living room away from the door.

‘Nope, just ignore it if he rings again. I’m going for a shower.’

Nathan’s unexpected appearance at our flat this morning had turned out to be the most interesting highlight of my day so far. Apart from spending an age in the shower distracting myself by plucking, waxing, shaving, and preening every part of myself, I had then retreated back to the sofa and proceeded to watch crappy re-runs on television while also having the occasional little snooze.

I hadn’t even had Kenny to keep me company, as it turned out that the
Batman
pants were being worn especially for the male guest he had holed up in his bedroom. That probably explained his forgetfulness about my dumped status too, he’d no doubt been too busy trying to impress his date and had forgotten all about my lacklustre love life.

After he’d made me a coffee this morning I’d not seen any more of Kenny, and thank God I hadn’t been able to hear whatever he was getting up to in his lucky pants either, which had been a mighty relief.

By five o’clock I had started to consider the possibility of ordering some takeaway food when there was a loud banging on my front door. The door right behind me, not the intercom, which meant that it was either one of my neighbours popping round or someone had got past security and made their way up here. Another huge pounding on the door made me shriek and I jumped up thinking the entire door and frame was about to come crashing inwards.

‘What the hell’s going on, Stella?’ Kenny squealed, appearing at my side and still only wearing those bloody pants.

‘I don’t know …’ I murmured cautiously, staring at the now silent front door, and although I had a pretty good idea of who was banging the grain out of my door I still had absolutely no idea why.

Inching closer I looked though the peep hole and confirmed my suspicions. Nathan. Looking really broody as he stared at the floor with his shoulders rising and falling frantically from his exertion. Suddenly as if he knew I was looking his head snapped up and he looked straight at the peep hole, causing me to shriek almost as stupidly as Kenny had earlier.

Advancing on the door in a flash Nathan was pounding again at the same time as speaking loudly, ‘I know you’re in there, Stella, I heard you, open this bloody door before it falls down.’ With the way he was banging I seriously believed it would as well.

Flashing an edgy glance at Kenny I reached for the lock and then biting my lip I tensed my body and cautiously opened my poor abused door.

‘Stella, thank fuck,’ Nathan said on a whooshed breath. Confusingly he looked rather relieved to have found me, but his relief was shortly replaced by flooding emotion again as his cheeks flushed and his eyes flashed around wildly. ‘Where’s your fucking phone? I’ve been trying to call you all day.’ My phone … good question. I hadn’t been expecting any calls so I didn’t have it with me, it was probably still in my bedroom shoved under my pillow on silent.

At this point Kenny attempted to be my hero, bless him, by walking over to Nathan, puffing out his chest, placing his hands on his hips, and looking up at him. With Nathan being rather tall it was quite a long way up for Kenny, but I suspected that he did this partly for me, partly to get a closer look at my God of a man up close, and partly to impress his boyfriend who was now peering around the door frame watching us all with wide eyes.