Read Into the Light (Untwisted series Book 3) Online
Authors: Alice Raine
Into the Light (Untwisted series Book 3) (29 page)
As I drove I became aware that I was shaking all over from the whole encounter, but I drove long enough to get us away from my father and around the corner to a quieter suburban street which lined Primrose Hill before pulling over.
Stopping the car I switched off the ignition and turned to Stella. ‘I can’t drive at the moment, would you take a walk with me for a while?’ I asked, indicating to the open parkland behind me. Showing her my shaking hands I attempted a weak, crooked smile which she returned before nodding and getting out of the car. To be honest I wasn’t sure if I was shaking because of my father, or because of the insight that seeing him had given me into my own life – all I did know was that I needed to man up and share a few things with Stella.
What a fucking day this had been. If anything was more likely to get me collapsing from stress then it was today’s sequence of events; meeting my ex, Stella’s ex, and then finding my father at Nicholas’s house – talk about utterly hellish, but Stella was still here, still with me, and that was all that mattered to me right now.
Taking her hand in mine I enjoyed the warmth I felt from Stella’s touch as we strolled together into the park in companionable silence. Gradually, my trembling began to subside as she gently rubbed the back of my hand with her thumb, somehow seeming to transfer her strong calmness into me. This woman was good for me. Probably too damn good, but I wasn’t letting her go, not now, not ever, and it was probably time I told her as much.
‘All my life I thought my father loved me but just didn’t know how to show it … and I guess I thought I loved him too. But seeing him today so hell bent on bringing misery to his sons,’ I shook my head and grimaced, ‘that’s not love, I see that now, I finally understand.’
Huffing out a long breath, I stopped beside a small lake and stood in front of Stella, tipping her face up so I could look straight in her eyes. ‘I never thought I’d be capable of such feelings, but what I feel for you …’ I paused and shook my head unsure how to vocalise all the emotions inside me. ‘Fuck, Stella it’s crazy, the passion, the possessiveness I feel, I’ve never experienced anything like it before and I never ever thought that I’d say these words, but I …’ my throat went dry, just as before when I’d tried to tell her I loved her. Why the fuck couldn’t I say it? It was three lousy little words, and I couldn’t even man up enough to say them. Stella’s eyes opened wide as she stared up at me in anticipation, I heard her swallow loudly but she didn’t say anything and I panicked that I might lose her if I wasn’t courageous enough to say how I felt.
‘I … I …
fuck
.’ Instead of saying words which had never meant a thing to me in my past I slid my hands into her hair and kissed her with everything that I had, hoping that my actions could convey what my words somehow couldn’t. Finally pulling back from the kiss I saw Stella gazing up at me with wide, lust filled eyes and I smiled shyly. ‘It’ll always be you, Stella.’ That I could say, but like a compete pussy my brain was still adamantly refusing to say the words I knew she would most want to hear.
A second later however, my fears were somewhat lifted as Stella raised a hand to my cheek and stroked her thumb across my stubble. ‘It’s OK, Nathan, I know what you mean, you don’t have to say it …’ she murmured, then half sobbing, half laughing she flung herself at me, wrapping her arms around my neck and even jumping up and wrapping her legs around me too, where I caught her under her bum and held her to me tightly.
‘Oh God, Nathan. I love you,’ she mumbled as she sought my lips for a wet, tearstained kiss. She loved me? Even with my messed-up outlook on life Stella really loved me? Thank fuck for that. Now all I needed to do was say the words back to her, but I grudgingly admitted that might take some time. If I said them I needed her to know I meant them. I was fairly sure now that I loved Stella, these tumulus feelings inside me of protection, affection, and lust must surely equal love, but my parents had fucked up any views of love I’d ever had and I knew it was going to take some time for me to adjust to the fact that Stella really genuinely accepted me for who I was.
I had no idea where we’d go from here, or if a relationship could ever work out in the long run for someone like me with an angel like Stella, but I was finally ready to find out. What I wouldn’t give to have a crystal ball and look into the future to see where I was a year from now. Would Stella still be with me? Or would I have reverted to type and scared her off? Grimacing, I knew that with my temperamental nature the latter was highly possible, and so I vowed to do everything within my power to treat this incredible woman how she deserved so that it wouldn’t be the case. Who knows, perhaps in a year’s time I’d even have managed to grow a set of balls and say the ‘L’ word to her.
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Do you want to get your hands on that crystal ball that Nathan described? Then read the final gripping instalment of the Untwisted series,
Enlightened
, to see how the Jackson brothers are doing one year on from the heart wrenching day when their father walked back into their lives.
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When I write about my characters and scenes, I have certain images in my head. I’ve created a Pinterest page with these images in case you are curious. I hope you enjoy this little glimpse into Nicholas and Nathan’s world. You can find it at
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Published by Accent Press Ltd
ISBN 9781783753925
Copyright © Alice Raine 2014
The right of Alice Raine to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted by her in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
The story contained within this book is a work of fiction. Names and characters are the product of the author’s imagination and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be copied, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, electrostatic, magnetic tape, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the written permission of the publishers: Accent Press Ltd, Ty Cynon House, Navigation Park, Abercynon CF45 4SN
Published by Accent Press Ltd – 2014