Into the Light (Untwisted series Book 3) (26 page)

He’d avoided saying the word ‘love’ again, but his words meant so much to me that I finally smiled and relaxed feeling the remnants of my jealousy softening and melting away.

As we stood there pressed together I briefly considered telling Nathan that I had fallen in love with him, but decided against it for now – I wanted the words to be said in a time of passion, not a tense situation. Besides, they were just words, did I really need to hear them from his lips? As long as he treated me well and we were happy together what would those three little words really achieve in the long run?

Nodding, I also knew he was right about us and how he viewed our relationship as different. Nathan didn’t know it, but when I’d been in the bathroom last night I’d overheard him on the phone to Nicholas and Rebecca arranging tonight’s dinner, and to my surprise he’d started talking about me. Quite apparently it wasn’t the first time either, because he’d sounded genuinely thrilled as he’d told them that things were progressing well between the two of us.

Relenting, I rolled my lips between my teeth before he reached up with his thumb to stop me with a chastising look. ‘OK, I’m sorry, Nathan, I probably overreacted,’ I murmured, now feeling rather stupid about my childish outburst.

Pressing himself more firmly against me Nathan leaned down and kissed my ear, drawing the lobe between his teeth to bite it gently and causing me to groan and lean my head sideways to give him better access. ‘It’s OK. Besides, you can’t be jealous of the fact she lived with me, I’ve asked you to move in twice now and you’ve turned me down flat.’

Making a little humming noise in the back of my throat I prepared for him to bring up this little sore point from last night again. It was true, I’d rejected the offer to move in with him, but when Nathan said he’d ‘asked me twice now’, I had to smile, as far as I was concerned, forcibly packing up my things and practically dragging me to his apartment did not count as ‘asking me’. So purely out of principle when he’d brought it up again later after our reconciliation I had said ‘no’ again, which had shocked Nathan no end. A smile lit my lips as I remembered his expression, he’d literally had no idea how to deal with my rebellious response so he’d tried to kiss me senseless instead.

His reaction showed how much he’d progressed in recent weeks, in the good old days of ‘dominant Nathan’ he’d simply have taken me over his knee for a long spanking and demanded that I agree. Instead he’d looked completely torn, his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish until finally he’d nodded jerkily and hidden his face by kissing my neck. It had been a small victory to me, but one that I suspected wouldn’t last long if he chose to really lay on his persuasive talents.

The idea of living with him was tempting, of course it was; I was head over heels in love with him, but it was way too early in our relationship and seeing as I was basically addicted to him already it probably wouldn’t be hugely healthy for me. Plus I liked the idea of keeping my flat on; it allowed me to maintain some sense of myself.

The fact that I viewed his flat as just that – 
his
 – with the idea of his previous submissives living in it with him didn’t help either, it actually made me feel rather ill and wasn’t somewhere I would chose to move into full time. Seeing as Nathan’s apartment was self-designed by him – one of the first developments Nathaniel Jackson Architecture completed after he started up his company – and as such totally adored by him, I’d chosen not to share my dislike of the apartment with him in our time together.

Pressing his groin against mine he pinned me to the wall more firmly. ‘Move in with me,’ he urged me again, as I’d known he would now the topic had been raised, but I shook my head and ignored the persuasive squeeze he gave my hips.

‘No, Nathan,’ I replied softly, but seeing the rising stubbornness on his face, possibly accompanied by a touch of hurt, I tried to placate him by adding, ‘Not yet,’ and then began soothingly rubbing my hand across his chest. It worked, marginally, because he let out a long sigh, but didn’t say another word on the subject.

‘Come on then, my stubborn little minx, let’s get that brunch, shall we?’ Grateful that he had let the subject drop for now I nodded, took his hand, and allowed him to lead me back onto the main shopping thoroughfare in search of our food and caffeine fix.

We meandered through the packed streets, but with the lovely weather the atmosphere was relaxed – as relaxed as it gets in the bustle of central London anyway – and after stopping for a bottle of orange juice in a tiny little shop we then headed off to continue our walk to our brunch destination.

We couldn’t have been out of the shop more than a minute when I saw an eerily familiar face step from a side street just ahead. The focus of my gaze was deeply involved in a heated conversation with a blonde woman who looked like she was going to cry any minute. ‘Christ, you have got to be kidding me,’ I muttered, slapping a palm to my forehead and quickly trying to change the direction we were heading in by gripping Nathan’s hand and dragging him to the left.

‘What is it?’ Nathan asked, not shifting a millimetre and pulling me to a standstill. Standing still was not good, we needed to move – preferably hide – so I tried to tug on his arm again, but frowning down at me Nathan simply wouldn’t budge. Bloody stubborn man. Glancing to my right I winced, accepted the inevitable, and then looked up at Nathan. ‘Let’s just say that today is obviously going to be a day full of exes,’ I whispered miserably, as Aidan, my previous boyfriend, spotted me and joined Nathan in his frown.

The gods obviously had it in for me today. I mean seriously, what were the chances of meeting not only Nathan’s ex, but mine too? It had to be a million to one, but no, lucky me, there was Aidan in all his glory staring at me in surprise across the street.

‘Stella?’ he called questioningly, looking from myself to Nathan and then back again. ‘It is you!’ he added, pulling the startled-looking blonde along with him as he came over to speak to us.

I
so
did not need this. Seeing Melissa had been bad enough, but knowing Nathan he’d probably kill Aidan if he made one wrong comment, which was highly likely because Aidan was not the most tactful of men. The woman on his arm smiled weakly at me, still looking upset about something or perhaps just sensing the impending shitstorm, and then looked utterly relieved as her mobile phone started ringing in her hand. Detaching herself from Aidan’s arm she smiled apologetically and walked away to speak on her phone.

As soon as his girlfriend had left – I assumed she was his girlfriend anyway – Aidan turned back and stared at where my fingers were joined with Nathan’s before glaring at me with a look of pure annoyance on his face. Oh God, here we go. ‘I thought you were
too busy for a relationship
,’ he sneered, repeating the exact words I’d used as an excuse when I’d finished with him. Shaking my head I didn’t even give him the satisfaction of a reply, instead I turned with a crisp ‘Goodbye, Aidan.’ and started to walk away. To my complete and utter surprise Nathan obediently followed me, but I didn’t dare look up at him, not yet anyway.

‘Word of advice, mate,’ Aidan called to Nathan as we made our retreat, ‘She might be hot in the sack, but don’t expect any more, she’s not the relationship kind.’ Aidan’s voice was filled with bitterness and if I hadn’t been terrified that Nathan was about to kill someone, Aidan or perhaps even me, then I would have politely informed Aidan that the reason I left him was because apart from his bedroom skills which were passable, although nowhere near as good as Nathan’s, he was the most boring man alive.

Nathan froze, the hand that was holding mine tightened and I knew he wanted to go back to ‘speak’ with Aiden. Gripping him as if my life depended on it I literally dragged him away into the crowd. Fucking hell, this day really couldn’t get any worse. As soon as we’d got further away from Aidan I wanted to get a big, strong coffee to calm my nerves and then to head home so no more visions of either of our pasts could haunt us. The idea of going anywhere to eat turned my stomach now. Jeez, it had started out as such a beautiful day too …

‘Stella, stop.’
There was no way I could ignore Nathan’s words, the utter command in his tone was unmissable and I briefly closed my eyes in defeat. He was clearly pissed off, which was probably understandable given what Aidan had just yelled for half of London to hear, but I really didn’t want the drama of him screaming at me on the street too if I continued to try and walk away.

I paused, drew in a steadying breath, and then turned to find him glowering at me with a face like thunder. An expression that was probably pretty similar to mine not that long ago when I’d freaked out about Melissa, actually. The irony of this situation, this whole day, wasn’t lost on me and I very nearly let out a hysterical laugh.

‘Who the fuck was that?’ Nathan ground out through clenched teeth, as a muscle in his jaw line went crazy indicating that his level of annoyance was reaching ‘high alert’.

‘My ex, Aidan,’ I replied, deciding not to give any extra details unless he asked for them.

‘The guy you were with before me?’ he demanded, his grip on my hand now painfully tight and threatening to crush my bones. ‘The guy you said made you interested in domination?’ His grip might have been tight, but his voice was even tighter. Clearly Nathan was really struggling to maintain his composure at the moment.

Hesitating for a few seconds, my brain desperately tried to think of a way of calming him down. What had he done to me when I’d got jealous over Melissa? He’d dragged me down a side street and kissed me senseless. Hmmm, I was nowhere near strong enough to do that, just getting him this far away had been a struggle, and there was no way I was going to pounce on him in the middle of a packed street, so unfortunately honesty seemed like the only other option.

‘Yes,’ I whispered. Nathan’s face turned from intent and focused, to furious and bright red in the blink of an eye and I winced as his grip on my hand tightened even further as he desperately struggled to draw in several steady breaths through his flared nostrils.

‘
Overbearing fucker,
’ he muttered, then spinning around Nathan scanned the crowd, presumably to search the crowd for Aidan’s retreating figure. I raised an eyebrow, Nathan had obviously decided to overlook the fact that he too was an ‘overbearing fucker’ at times, and was apparently intent on making Aidan pay for it, but thankfully my less than charming ex had wisely disappeared.

Nathan turned back to me with an expression of pure unadulterated anger on his face. ‘We’re going home right now. There are things I need to say and do that aren’t appropriate for a packed street.’ Unfortunately from his gritty tone and taut body language I could just tell that the ‘things he needed to say’ were not going to be fun-filled, so I sighed and finally succeeded in pulling my crushed fingers free from his grasp.

Wiggling my fingers to restore the blood flow I tilted my chin up at him defiantly. ‘You know what, Nathan, today started out so well, but it’s steadily turned really fucking shitty. You go home in a mood if you want, but I need a coffee’. Without waiting for an answer I turned and headed for the coffee shop I’d spotted a minute earlier. I’d have a drink, let my nerves calm down, and then maybe head home – to
my
flat, not Nathan’s – and wait until he was feeling mature enough to discuss this like an adult. Knowing I’d had a similar temper tantrum less than an hour ago made me feel truly hypocritical, a thought that didn’t settle that well in my stomach, so I brushed it off and strode up to the counter in the cafe.

Glancing around I noticed the café was going for the nostalgia theme – the tables were made up with long checked cloths and the walls were chock-a-block with copper kettles, pans, plates, and teapots but I was so dazed and in need of a coffee that I truly didn’t care where I was, so ignoring the jumbled décor I placed my order. ‘I’ll have a double shot cappuccino please,’ I told the barista, then cocking my head I sighed wearily, sensing Nathan approach behind me when my skin began to tingle with awareness. Shaking my head to try and alleviate my annoyance I resisted the urge to look at him and instead muttered, ‘Do you want a drink or what?’

‘I’ll have the same as you,’ he replied petulantly.

‘Make that two large cappuccinos please,’ I said as politely as I could given the circumstances. Once the drinks were made – which seemed to take an absolute age of horribly tense silence – we picked up our overfull mugs and headed to the most private booth in the corner.

Sliding in one side I was surprised when Nathan joined me on the same seat. I had expected him to sit opposite so he could fry me with his killer glare, but he didn’t, instead he placed his cup on the table, took my hand gently in his, and took in a deep breath which he then released through his nose.

‘I apologise for my temper,’ he mumbled.
What?
Well, I had not expected that! ‘I’m new to this, Stella, jealousy is not something I’ve ever felt before you,’ he admitted, gently running the pad of one thumb across the back of my hand, tracing the feint web of veins there. ‘But the idea of Aidan,
fuck,
any man, touching you …’ Shaking his head he closed his eyes as his nostrils flared again, his unfinished sentence hanging, but the meaning was clear and oh so lovely to me. He might not be able to say he loved me, but he really did care about me.

‘I feel the same, Nathan, why do you think I freaked out so much earlier? That feeling in your chest right now when you imagine me with other men, I get that too, and believe me when I say I have far more to be jealous of than you – my sex life before you was practically non-existent.’

‘Except for him,’ he added in a cool tone jerking his head towards the window, obviously referring to Aidan. There had been a few others too, but I decided not to add that little detail to the mix right now. Running a hand through his hair Nathan nodded, seemed to loosen his neck off with an audible click and then sat up straighter, ‘OK, OK … point taken, my past is far less salubrious than yours, but it is my past,’ he reassured me with an intense glance.