Into the Light (Untwisted series Book 3) (11 page)

I watched Nicholas's face soften as he gazed down at Rebecca and saw her relax against him and slip an arm around his waist. It was fascinating. How would it feel to be that protective of a woman? To be so attached to them that you needed to stake a claim over them in public?

It was a whole new concept for me, but suddenly I realised that it was almost exactly what I'd done to Stella when I'd seen her out in the wine bar with her brother. Trying to work out exactly what my seemingly possessive behaviour meant I decided to give it some more thought when I was back at home and alone. Christ, my brain felt like it had massively malfunctioned lately, nothing was clear to me anymore.

Keen to observe the new relationship between my brother and Rebecca some more I decided on the spur of the moment to invite them over. ‘Perhaps you two would like to come for dinner at my place tomorrow for a proper catch up?’ I suggested, ‘How about supper time, say about seven o’clock?’

‘Sounds good.’ Nicholas agreed with a nod. I didn’t miss the slightly panicked expression on Rebecca's face, but managed to contain the amused smile that nearly broke on my lips as a result of it. I'd win her over eventually – history had proven that women could never stay mad at me for long.

Chapter Seven - Nathan

After my visit to my brother yesterday I'd be lying if I said I wasn’t left intrigued by his relationship with Rebecca – intrigued, and as much as I hated to admit it … slightly jealous. This wasn't something I was used to, I didn’t do standard displays of jealousy; if I wanted something I simply went out and got it. Fast car? I'd buy it. Business deal? I'd work every angle to ensure I put forward the best proposal to win the bid. Woman? I'd smile and charm my way into her panties quicker than a frog could hop.

But seeing what Nicholas had with Rebecca, a genuine real affection and need for one another, it had left me blindsided. I just hadn't expected to see him so … happy. When I'd left his house yesterday it was the first time in my life that I'd felt genuine burning jealousy swirling in my stomach, and the reason for my jealousy was clear to me – I couldn't buy or charm Stella into feeling a bond like that with me, it had to be from her side, her heart, and the realisation that it was totally out of my control and potentially unavailable to me had hit me harder than I had ever expected.

So now here we were, it was Saturday night and my brother and Rebecca would be arriving at any minute for dinner. I had invited them over so that Stella and myself could observe their relationship and see if we might somehow, against all my previous beliefs, be able to do something similar. Fuck, the more I thought about it, the more I realised that this was quite a monumental moment for me, I, Nathaniel Jackson, dominant and all round self-absorbed dick, was actually considering a relationship outside the bounds of a dominant/submissive one … I quite literally never thought I'd see the day.

Not that I'd told Stella any of this, I'd just asked her to join us for dinner. No, I might be breaking all my rules on other fronts today, but I was still shit at any form of vocal emotion, conversations about relationships included. Looking in my bathroom mirror I straightened my collar, brushed my hair back with my hand, and loosened off my neck to try and ease my tension. Put me in a boardroom in front of twenty potential clients and I could talk the hind legs off a fucking donkey, but discuss the way I was ‘feeling’ … Christ, no. Far too prissy. It made me feel queasy just thinking about it. Not my thing at all.

Selecting a nice pair of solid platinum cufflinks I made quick work of fastening them through the soft cotton of my Armani shirt, and then made my way towards the lounge.

Something strange shifted in my stomach when I glanced towards the fireplace and saw Stella standing there awaiting my arrival. Sucking in a breath through my nose I absorbed her appearance. She looked beautiful, but then I suppose thinking about it she always did, had I really been such a self-absorbed arse before that I hadn't noticed enough to tell her?

Her dress tonight was a simple black number, just touching her knees and low enough in the front to give a good hint at what lay beneath. Not that I needed a hint; I had Stella’s perfect body committed to memory now. The off the shoulder design gave me a complete view of my most favourite body part – the fragile column of her neck and the light spray of freckles that lay there, and I instantly wanted to walk over and run my tongue from her collarbone to her earlobe. To be honest if it wasn't my brother coming around tonight I'd be tempted to demand she change into something less revealing so that no-one else got to see what was mine.

I grimaced, but was she mine? That was the fucking million pound question wasn't it? I knew she wanted me, the heat that rose in her cheeks whenever she looked at me made that clear, as did her keenness to please and the explosive chemistry between us, there was no hiding that either, but did she
need
me? Growing up with a father who demanded no eye contact had left me severely deprived in the ability to judge emotions relating to trust and care, so I really didn’t have a fucking clue how Stella actually felt about me outside of the bedroom.

The problem was, I was starting to fear that I
needed
her. I had no fucking idea how it had happened, but during the two week gap where I hadn't seen Stella I'd pretty much figured out that as well as wanting her physically, which I did almost constantly, that I had most definitely started to need Stella too. I needed her to keep me stable when work was shit, needed her to flash me those shy smiles reserved only for me, but most of all, I needed her to keep on making me feel like I might actually have a chance of being somewhere near normal for a change.

Glancing across at her now it occurred to me that Stella was probably feeling pretty confused right now, not only had I all but demanded that she join us for dinner tonight, but I'd not given her any further guidance at all. Grimacing I shook my head at yet another failure on my part. God, I was such a prick. If I had any hope of making something more of my relationship with Stella I needed to get my hopeless arse in gear and start thinking about her feelings for a change.

Stella

As it often did, my breath caught in my throat when Nathan entered the room. It was like his unfair handsomeness somehow sucked my breathable air away and left me floundering like a fish out of water, an effect that thankfully he seemed to be completely unaware of. His ego was no doubt big enough already, he didn’t need me and my pathetic swoons adding to it.

Tonight Nathan had gone for his smart-casual look, which meant navy suit trousers and a pale blue shirt but no jacket or tie. That was just fine by me; his tailored shirts looked glorious without any other trimmings, and showed off the tautness of his shoulder and chest muscles to absolute perfection.

I loved the shirt he was wearing too, it was secretly one of my favourites, in a pale blue almost the exact same shade as his eyes; it made his blond hair seem to glow and his striking gaze even more intense than usual. In fact I'd had many a fantasy about that particular shirt, mostly featuring me wearing it, and nothing else, whilst he made love to me for hours on end. Giving myself a mental thwack on the forehead I rolled my eyes, who was I kidding? We didn’t make love, we
fucked
, and if I wore anything during that process it would be at Nathan's request and would usually involve lace suspenders or high heels, and certainly not his shirt. Sighing, I glanced at him again; it might only be a fantasy, but it was still a nice one to have.

Great, I was drooling already and our guests hadn't even arrived yet.

A frown settled on my brows.
Guests
. Christ, I was nervous. Nathan had invited his brother and his girlfriend, Rebecca I think, around for dinner tonight and he had requested – demanded – that I join them. This was a first for us. Nathan had had dinner guests before, all business-related, but he'd always told me I could have the night off or make use of the gym or home cinema to keep myself busy. I wasn't entirely sure what to expect tonight, or why he wanted me there, and Nathan hadn't really given me any indication of how he expected me to act either. Hence my fully-fledged nerves.

Just as I was plucking up the courage to ask Nathan what I should expect from the evening the doorbell rang. My eyes closed in frustration. Great. I was out of time now and would officially have to wing it. From our brief introduction the other week I knew Nicholas was aware of the type of relationship I had with Nathan, and from the snippets of conversation I had heard from his brother’s visit I also suspected Nicholas might be involved in the domination scene himself, but would his girlfriend be a sub too? Making my way towards the sofas I exhaled a long, calming breath. Sod it, I'd just keep quiet and see how things panned out, go with the flow so to speak.

Just a few seconds later Nathan returned with his guests. As Nathan hadn't told me otherwise I remained standing and kept my eyes mostly averted, but on one of my quick, curious glances I noticed that Nathan's brother looked a whole hell of a lot better than he had when I'd last seen him. Crikey, he was actually very handsome; in fact, back in the day before I'd developed a thing for blonds, specifically those called Nathan, Nicholas would have been exactly my usual type; tall, dark, broad, and handsome as sin. It was funny how a few months could make such a difference to my outlook, before Nathan I'd never even dated a blond, now I couldn't imagine why.

My reverie was broken by Nathan who appeared by my side and did the introductions. ‘Rebecca, this is Stella,’ Nathan said smoothly, indicating between the two of us with a swift hand gesture and thankfully sticking to my name and not referring to me as just his sub.

Glancing up briefly I saw that Rebecca was taller and probably skinnier than me, if I'm being honest, and rather pretty in a girl-next-door kind of way. Nicholas nodded to me in greeting and I flashed a small smile, but it died on my lips as I then watched him give Nathan the oddest of looks. What had that been about? It was almost as if he’d asked
‘What’s Stella doing here?
’ and to be honest I was now wondering the same damn thing.

After handing Nathan a bottle of wine Nicholas and Rebecca moved further into the room and took a seat on the black leather two-seater next to the fireplace. Nathan sat opposite on the white couch, but after Nicholas’s strange look I was frozen to the spot, my stomach lurching and I felt off-balance and flummoxed as what to do next. It wasn't like Nathan ever made me sit on the floor by his feet or anything, but we never exactly sat on the sofa and had a cosy chat together either. In fact, come to think of it, the only times I'd ever been on this sofa was when Nathan was in a sexual frenzy and screwing me until I screamed his name.

Great, so now as well as standing here like a complete loser I was also bright red from thinking about our amazing sofa sex sessions. God, I wished I could escape to my room and the stack of good books I'd selected from Nathan’s reading room earlier. What I wouldn't give for a bit of quiet time and Jane Austen right now.

Staring at my entwined fingers was getting quite boring so I flashed a quick glance at Rebecca again. She was sat close to Nicholas, their thighs touching intimately, looking like a regular girlfriend, so perhaps she wasn't a sub then – or if she was she was a lot more used to social gatherings than me. All of a sudden she gasped quietly and her head flicked up to look at me with wide eyes that showed a sudden and complete understanding of the situation. Somehow from that one shared look I suspected that Rebecca now understood the dynamics of my relationship with Nathan. Not only that, but from the look on her face – like she had swallowed some week-old fish – she didn’t agree with it either.

This really was rather unfair, between them Nathan and Nicholas could have had the decency to let Rebecca and I in on the whole story before we all got together, at least then I wouldn't be standing here feeling like a complete prat and she wouldn't be looking like she wanted to vomit all over Nathan's expensive rug. The only small saving grace was that at least we were both feeling uncomfortable, I suppose.

My awkward stance was broken as I heard Nathan speak to the right of me. ‘Sit’ he ordered softly, patting the seat next to him and looking up at me with a hint of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. My attention was firmly distracted from Rebecca as I tilted my head curiously at Nathan’s request. This was certainly different, but then this whole evening was feeling fairly experimental so I might as well just run with it. Sitting down I perched myself on the front of the soft leather sofa and once again joined my hands in my lap and averted my eyes. Well, if nothing else came of this evening I was at least going to demand a reward from Nathan later for my exemplary submissive behaviour.

Taking me completely by surprise I felt Nathan's hand rub my shoulder before gently pulling me back so that I was leant against the cushions of the sofa with his arm lightly draped around my shoulders.
Crikey,
I gasped in surprise and then only just managed to hold back a small giggle – I felt like I was a teenager on a first date where the guy pretends to yawn just as an excuse to put his arm around a girl’s shoulders. Not that that had actually ever happened to me, but as a girl I'd been reliably informed by the playground gossips that it had been common practice amongst most teenage boys in my school.

‘Eye contact is permitted,’ Nathan whispered in my ear, his breath hot on my sensitive skin, making me want to lean into him. But hang on, eye contact was permitted? That was
incredibly
uncharacteristic for Nathan and I immediately raised my eyes to his and found him gazing straight back at me with his big blues. A sigh slipped past my lips at just how stunningly blue his irises were. Like a clear sky on a beautiful summer day. I suddenly felt a little breathless. Full-on eye contact. Crikey, this really was new. Nathan never liked eye contact, not with me, and from the little I'd experienced of him outside his apartment, not with anyone else either. I had no idea why, because his eyes were just stunning, but clearly there was a reason, he'd even hinted as much himself.