Into the Light (Untwisted series Book 3) (12 page)

After the best few seconds of my life though, Nathan flashed the briefest of winks and then looked away again, loosening his shoulders with a roll as if the extended contact had be immensely difficult for him somehow. Perhaps he had meant that my eye contact was permitted with our guests, and not him.

Did he really just wink at me? Mr Cool As Ice Bad Boy Jackson,
winking
? Wow, another first. I should probably be making a list of these so I didn’t forget the momentous occasions. Blinking several times I tried to clear my head and refocus on the evening ahead of us, after all, we had guests sat opposite us and I was totally ignoring them and instead practically swooning over Nathan. Normally at parties I was quite a chatterbox, the centre of attention probably, especially after a few glasses of wine, but tonight in these unfamiliar circumstances I was more than happy to sit back and observe.

‘So how was the traffic on your drive over today?’ Nathan asked his brother with a smile. The casual chatter started easily and I felt myself relax slightly into my unusual situation of sitting with Nathan’s arm around me. Whether it was a conscious action or not I don’t know, but his fingers were gently rubbing circles on my exposed shoulder and as my skin heated from his attention I decided that, actually, I quite liked this position. Trying to strengthen my resolve I took a deep breath. I better not get too used to it, no doubt once his brother had left we'd be back to business as usual.

Rebecca seemed nice, she was quiet like me for the most part, but every now and then I would catch her flashing Nathan and I odd glances as she obviously tried to work out what was going on between us. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Nathan was also watching Rebecca very carefully, and for a few seconds I felt the stirrings of an ugly green-eyed monster rise within me, but the more I looked, the more it appeared that he was looking at them as a whole, a couple, rather than at Rebecca herself. Perhaps Nicholas’s relationship with this woman was quite new and Nathan was sussing it out to decide if he deemed her good enough for his precious brother.

Nathan and I might not sit and converse regularly in our weekends together, but in the times we had talked, Nathan's love and protectiveness for his brother had been quite apparent and I suspected that if he saw Rebecca as unsuitable in any way, then Nathan would be quite forthright in telling Nicholas so, and probably Rebecca too.

My throat tightened briefly as I tried to imagine what it would be like if Nathan felt that protective of me. I suspected given my growing attachment to him that I'd quite like it. He’d had his little freak-out in Claridges a few weeks ago, but I didn’t really count that as being protective of me, it had more likely been a display of his possessiveness, marking his territory, and claiming what was his, perhaps. With a small sigh I quickly dismissed the stupidly fantastical thought of Nathan ever truly ‘caring’ about me and looked back at Rebecca just in time to see her turn rather pale.

Something had obviously upset Rebecca, her face was now white as a sheet, although seeing as we hadn’t eaten or drunk anything yet to upset her stomach I couldn't think what might be the cause.

Suddenly stumbling to her feet Rebecca looked distinctly like she might pass out, or throw up, or perhaps both. ‘Can I use your bathroom, please?’ Rebecca asked urgently. Gosh, poor thing she looked dreadful. Perhaps she'd eaten something bad at lunch? But then seeing the brief flicker of her gaze as it moved between myself and Nathan and narrowed I realised the cause of her discomfort could well be us.

‘Of course. Stella, show Rebecca the bathroom please, and bring back some drinks for us all afterwards,’ Nathan instructed me.

Standing up quickly in case Rebecca vomited like she looked like she might at any second, I led her to the guest toilet and was about to say a few words to help relax her, I don't know exactly what, something like
‘Yeah I'm his submissive, but it’s what I chose and he's amazing in the sack so it’s all good
 …’ but as it turned out I didn’t get the chance because after flashing me a quick watery smile and a mumbled ‘thanks’ Rebecca practically leapt into the bathroom and slammed the door behind her.

Poor woman. What I had with Nathan wasn’t exactly your usual run of the mill relationship so I could see why it would make her uncomfortable. I was sure that if she just knew the facts she would no doubt feel much better about things, but I didn’t feel I knew her well enough to interrupt her in the bathroom, so reluctantly, I made my way back to the lounge. As I arrived at the sofas again I frowned. Nathan was still reclining casually, but Nicholas now looked on edge and nervy, sat forwards on his seat and chewing on the inside of his lip in a look I knew oh so well from his brother. Barely ten seconds later, Nicholas stood up and without saying a word strode in the direction of the bathroom, presumably to check on Rebecca.

Blimey, it seemed that both the Jackson brothers came with drama in their lives. What a family. Rolling my eyes I headed to the kitchen and popped open a bottle of chilled white wine from the fridge which would act as a perfect palate cleanser before our dinner. Then pouring four glasses I carried them back into the lounge and retook my seat beside Nathan who was staring out across the darkening London skyline, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

Once again his arm snaked out and slipped around my shoulders, and once again I found the move incredibly amusing, but also rather endearing. He didn’t say anything, but to be honest, given Nathan’s lack of skills in casual conversation it was probably just as well as it may have spoilt what was a lovely moment for me. Instead I enjoyed the silence and lost myself in my girlish fantasies and simply enjoyed him being just a teeny-weeny bit romantic for a change.

‘Are you unwell, Rebecca?’ Nathan asked directly as Nicholas and Rebecca re-emerged into the living room a few minutes later. It was probably just as well they had come back when they did, because the way Nathan had been casually running his fingers from my shoulder to collar bone in a teasing trail had had me melting and desperate for him to throw me down and take me, regardless of how socially inappropriate that might have been with a house full of guests.

‘I was a little dizzy,’ Rebecca murmured in what sounded to my highly tuned girl’s ears as an out and out lie. ‘But I feel much better now, I’m probably just hungry,’ she concluded with a smile aimed at me which was a little more convincing. Perhaps Nicholas had worked some Jackson magic on her in the bathroom, I thought with a smirk, knowing that sexy time with Nathan certainly always left me feeling more relaxed.

‘Well it’s just as well dinner is served then,’ Nathan replied giving my shoulder a quick appreciative squeeze and making me smile shyly. ‘Stella’s been working very hard to prepare us a nice dinner,’ he added as we all made our way to the dining table and the floor to ceiling windows with my favourite view over London and the River Thames.

I wasn't going to admit it to Nathan, but I'd had a bit of help with dinner. Actually quite a lot of help … when he'd headed into the gym this afternoon I'd known he'd be busy working out for at least two hours and I'd snuck Kenny in to help me prepare the food. I can cook, but I'm talking spag bol or chilli con-carne, not dinner party stuff meant to impress. Kenny on the other hand is a like a non-cook’s dream – he doesn't even need recipe books to prepare the most amazingly tasty dishes. After he arrived and I'd picked his tongue up from the floor – he was rather impressed with Nathan's apartment – Kenny had dumped down three carrier bags of shopping and with me as his sous chef had whipped up a beef Wellington, creamy mashed potatoes, broccoli, and deliciously rich gravy before whizzing from the apartment making me promise to give him a full tour next time. All I'd really had to do tonight was keep an eye on the beef whilst it cooked and steam the vegetables just before serving. All that was done now and I had to say it really smelt superb. I owed Kenny big time.

Once the table was laden with enough food for a small army my awkwardness suddenly returned again. What should I do? Serve everyone? Serve Nathan? Just sit down and stuff my face? I really had no idea. When Nathan and I ate together at his apartment I always served him first, then myself, but it wasn't a submissive thing as such, it just made sense because he usually cooked and started a quick clear-up whilst I served, then we would sit and eat together.

Thankfully it seemed that Nicholas was better at reading people’s emotions than Nathan because he suddenly piped up to help me out, ‘Shall we all just dig in?’ he enquired, flashing me a smile, apparently well aware that I was stuck about what to do next. It hit me again how handsome he was, not only that, but how easy he was with eye-contact, the complete opposite of Nathan. How strange that they grew up together and yet had such different habits. Once again I wondered why Nathan averted his eyes, but sadly I guessed it was one of many stories I would never find out.

‘Excellent plan, brother,’ Nathan agreed, but I still decided to play it safe and allow everyone else to serve themselves before I took any. Blimey, Kenny had excelled himself, even the cooking temperatures and times he’d given me were spot on because the beef looked amazing, pink on the inside with the pastry a delicious golden brown around the edges. I definitely owed him a drink or two in way of thanks.

As amazing as the food looked my stomach just wasn’t feeling in the mood to eat – it was probably the build-up of stress from today, plus the fear in the back of my mind that after cancelling a weekend together Nathan was going to finish with me soon. He was just so unpredictable that I never knew where I stood with him. No sooner had this unsavoury thought crossed my mind however, Nathan leant in close to my ear and surprised me by placing a hand on my thigh and rubbing it soothingly. ‘You are doing very well, Stella.’ he murmured, his breath tickling against my neck and almost making me groan with pleasure. As simple as his words were they flushed away my doubt and made me relax almost instantly. ‘Also, I didn’t get a chance to say it earlier, but you look very beautiful tonight.’ A small gasp of pleasure slipped from my lips, probably betraying just how much his words meant to me, but I risked a glance at him and instead of his usual averted gaze I was rewarded with a full contact blue-eyed gaze for a second or two that sent heat rushing to my cheeks and made me smile shyly up at him.

I felt a bit like I was living in some alternative universe, normally our weekends were spent alone, mostly in silence or in the bedroom getting down and dirty, but tonight Nathan was like a different man. Yeah OK so he still wasn't Mr Conversational with me, but the glances, the smiles, the
winks
, I was feeling quite spoilt for attention, and I was loving every single minute of it.

Conversation at dinner mostly focused around Nathan and Nicholas as they discussed recent business news and indulged in some chat about their shared love of fast cars and Nicholas's recent purchase of a new Aston Martin DB9. I’d never heard of the model, but I knew Aston Martins cost a pretty penny, so I assumed Nicholas’s piano career was doing rather well. Rebecca was chatty enough, but the way her eyes kept flicking between Nathan and I indicated to me that perhaps she still wasn't sure if she liked our set-up. In fact the glares she was sending Nathan were positively deathly, as if maybe she thought he was forcing me to be with him. Initially her blatant hostility toward him coupled with Nathan’s complete obliviousness to it made me want to giggle, but as the meal went on I found myself wanting to defend him, though perhaps that was something not to be tackled at the table.

After we finished eating I got the perfect opportunity to do just that. I began clearing away the bowls, something that Nathan usually did, but he was so absorbed in a talk about the latest Grand Prix – I’d literally never seen him so animated on a subject – that he didn’t notice me stand, but instead Rebecca stood to assist me. ‘Let me help you clear the dishes, Stella,’ she offered, collecting some bits and pieces off the table and following me. Now was my chance to talk to her whilst we were away from the brothers.

Dropping my sweet, silent submissive pose I flashed Rebecca a broader smile and caught hold of her arm as she passed me at the sink. ‘I can see your shock, Rebecca. I can tell you don’t approve of Nathan and me, but it’s not like you think. I want to be with him. Actually, I chose this lifestyle by myself; you might not believe it but I sought him out and I like living this way,’ I explained plainly, deciding to keep it short and sweet so we weren't interrupted.

I watched as Rebecca's eyes widened in shock, probably at how easily I'd read her mind, and then saw a flush of embarrassment colour her cheeks. My work here was done. She believed me, and would hopefully be able to relax and enjoy her evening knowing that I was also happy. More than happy actually, given Nathan’s uncharacteristic affection tonight I practically felt like I was floating on cloud nine at the moment. Rebecca opened her mouth to speak and I realised she was probably about to blurt a million questions at me, not something I wanted to do within earshot of Nathan, so I gave her arm a friendly squeeze, fired one more of my trademark winning smiles at her, and then disappeared back toward the table.

Perhaps if things continued with Nathan, then Rebecca and I would get more opportunities to spend time together and we could talk about things more fully. It would be nice to have a female to talk to about it all – Kenny was a great listener, but he was just as kinky as Nathan, if not more so, so he was hardly a voice of reason or clarity when I needed one.

Since my brief talk with Rebecca the rest of the meal passed in a much calmer mood. Rebecca had appeared more relaxed, which in turn had seemed to soothe Nicholas. It was quite sweet how in love they obviously were, but deep inside I couldn't help but feel a trace of jealousy. It would never be like that for Nathan and me, no matter how much I might wish it, I was his submissive, he was my dominant and we had a written contract that stated that very clearly.

Ignoring my niggling longing for more with Nathan I decided that, actually, the evening had gone far better than I'd expected. I'd felt almost showered in attention from Nathan, but my bright outlook was dashed as we closed the door after seeing Nicholas and Rebecca off as an awkward silence immediately fell between us. I wanted to say something, or do something to ease it, but I was worried that I might have been reading too much into his little gestures tonight and might overstep the mark now if I spoke by gushing something far too emotional and telling.