Into the Lion's Den (43 page)

Pampered more than what's good for you. You're not a pet, although he would love to have one. You're a de Lisle and
a Guttenberg Sachsen.”

“I still have many memories of it.”

“I know, but they will not go away if you cling to your misery. This way you only wallow in your
disgrace while what you need is a radical change. Work and study. You're under my protection and I'll do my best so
you feel welcome here but I will not pamper you. The less I need in my life is a boy toy near me. Your father would be
very ashamed too. He was a hard working man.”

“I'm also. Regardless of what you believe, I used to work hard to make a living. I went to the University,
paid my own flat and lived alone since I was eighteen. I had a job in London even if Constantin hated it, at an
antiques shop and I paid with what I was making part of my fees and the private teacher he insisted me on taking. I
always bought my own materials. I refused to have a scholarship from him and never asked anything from him. I did
my best to avoid being a burden. I'm not an expensive whore. I stopped working after the attack mostly because I was
physically and mentally devastated. He took me to St. Petersburg and made me live in his house with his children. I
was too crazy to look for a job, but I would have done it the minute the doctor would have given me clearance. Keep
your remarks to yourself, sir if you don't know the whole story,” I half barked.

“Good. Do as you're told.” He finished the talk, getting his blackberry out and starting to type who
knows what. Asshole!

We had dinner in deafening silence, without exchanging words between us (not that I was the greatest
talker in the world) Even Friederich, serving us both, realised the heavy and dense ambiance. After we finished
dessert, I stood up and said good night to him, but the bastard only ordered me to go to the library. Chewing my fury,
I followed him and he sat at his desk, taking a folder left there to read. Friederich came in with a tray with his cognac
and he complained that again he was not getting the one he liked so much—despite his size and short temper, he can
be a sissy—and again it was such a hideous thing. I engulfed myself in the book I was reading about Roman frescoes;
he's a despicable man but his library is excellent. I'm not sure if he reads them, but he buys them and that's all what
matters to me.

“Guntram.”

“Yes, sir?”

“I've been thinking over our discussion this evening and I would like to apologize for being so
prejudiced against you. I let my opinion of Repin interfere with my personal evaluation of you. I know that you were
self supporting yourself in the past, had good grades in school and in London. You hardly classify for the “kept boy”

category and it was most rude of me to call you that.”

I was speechless as I was not expecting him to apologize or anything. “Thank you sir. My answer was
very rude and vulgar too. I offer you my sincere apologies,” I said.

“Please understand that if I was hard on you it was because I believe that you need to restart to live
again. Pater Bruno told me that you were working very hard and not afraid to be with other people around. You need
to overcome your fears Guntram. Not everyone wants to hurt you. What you suffered under Olga Fedorovna was
horrible and undeserved. In my house you will meet respectable people. The women you will see at Meister
Ostermann's studio are all society ladies, many are wives from my peers. Despite you think that we are like the
Russians, we are not. Olga Fedorovna was never a lady. She's a social climber who married Repin just to increase
her power and fortune. He married her to hide the fact that he prefers young boys to girls. The man who used to

“protect you,” Mikhail Massaiev, is Repin's best “trainer” or “handler”. He chooses boys and turns them into pets
for Repin's entertainment. He kills them or sends them to the houses when they grow old or don't catch his fancy any
longer. His boys don't last more than two or three months and their fate is horrible. I still don't understand how you
avoided such a fate.”

“Constantin is a good man no matter what you tell, Konrad. I only received kindness and understanding
from him. I gave him my friendship because he deserved it.”

“Nevertheless, you tried to cut your wrists open.”

“It was a moment of weakness. I still don't know why I did it.”

“Such an act has always a reason behind. Which was it?”

“I don't know. I just stood there and knew I couldn't stay any longer the pain, being hooked up for life to
medications, the shame and…”

“Finally becoming Repin's favourite pet?” he suggested and I felt my soul leave my body.

“Yes,” I whispered, looking truly ashamed.

“I see. Don't worry; you will never be my boy toy. I totally hate the concept. You have to earn your keep
here, helping Pater Bruno, going to school or painting and selling your pieces. You're my ward and if I say something
to you, it's with best intentions. You have already experienced how cruel can be our world. Follow my guidance and
you will be fine and happy with us, Guntram.”

“Would you let me speak with Constantin, please?”

“On Sunday as agreed. I always keep my word, Guntram. You're doing very well so far. You attended two
of my dinners and today you were working the whole day with more than thirty volunteers around. If you could refrain
from destroying everything, I would be very satisfied.”

“Thank you, Konrad.”

“I truly want to earn your friendship Guntram. You seem to be a sensible young man who had the
misfortune of crossing his path with the wrong persons.”

“You're not the person I thought you were too,” I whispered.

“I believe my press department does not reach Russia,” he laughed openly.

“Mikhail told me that you're blood thirsty and implacable when you're crossed; that the Order is far
more powerful than they will ever be and that you control your territory with an iron fist.”

“First, I don't have a territory. That's a gangster's term. The Order nucleates most of the financial and
industrial European world. We are not directly involved with drugs, prostitution or other criminal activities. We take
their winnings and grant them permission to operate in our land. Sometimes, we have to use our connections to
protect them too. The money we take from them is reinvested into the legitimate economy creating jobs and welfare for
all the people. We cooperate with each other just to protect our markets and our way of life and I don't mean our
riches. The members are forced to give fifteen percent of their winnings back for charity. I have to be implacable to
keep the shadiest parts of our scheme under control. You have seen many of the things that happen in Russia, but not
here. It's simple; I don't allow them.”

“Europe has one of the largest population of paedophiles, Konrad. People here even organises tours to
visit Asia or Argentina to get children.”

“I know, I try to keep that filthy vice to the minimum, but I can't forbid people to travel. Here is not as
bad as it could be,” he said with real sadness in his voice. “We do our best to create new jobs and keep the welfare
state running as well as we can. I would love to have every child in school or loved at home with her parents.

Unfortunately, we can not disregard the vast resources generated by the illegitimate industry, and we have to do our
best to return them in a positive way for good people.”

“Is it not hypocritical to take money earned on people's suffering and give it back to alleviate their
misery?”

“Guntram, people will not stop using drugs, visit whorehouses, exploit immigrants, sell weapons or
abuse each other. It's in their nature and these Christ forgotten times are the worst. No one is generous to his
brothers; they all expect a reward. A selfless heart is something very rare nowadays.”

“Things would be easier if we would help each other.”

“I saw you working today and you were happy to do it. Piling up cans is not a dream job. Why?”

“It's something useful. Powder milk was always expensive and difficult to get. Many times what the
government was sending was overdue or in bad conditions. All the things there were fine and I was glad that it would
help people.”

“It will be beneficial for you to help Pater Bruno at the moment. My cousin Gertrud directs our
Foundation, but she concentrates more on rising money for other organizations, mostly belonging to the Church. We
have some projects of our own, but she doesn't like to run them, as it's too much work for her. I would like to change
that in the future and that we decide by ourselves how to invest our money.”

“Give them a job or a credit to start anew,” I said out of the blue.

“Perhaps. I have to think about it.”

“Giving things is good, but they have to learn to get them. They need a chance, nothing else.”

“Then we agree on that. I dislike lazy people living off their welfare benefits. I would put my money a
hundred times in a school project for women in Africa or in micro enterprises before than in a detox clinic. Do you
see Guntram? We have more in common than you think. Know more about me before you pass your judgement.”

“Constantin told me that you're going to kill me as revenge after he pays your money back.”

“Do you see my point, now? That's something he would do and has done several times. He killed my
representative in Georgia and his family. “

“You killed my family.”

“No, the previous counsellors ordered their execution. I was against it as we would have won nothing
out of it. I swear that I'll do nothing to you if you obey me and don't try to escape. Give me your word and you will
have mine, Guntram.”

“I can't run away. I have no chances against a former KGB agent,” I whispered.

“I will not harm you in any way as long as you behave according to our rules, so help me God.”

“I will not go against you or run away, Konrad.”

“Finish the oath.”

“I beg you pardon?”

“We ask for God's guidance to fulfil our oaths,” he said with little patience.

“So help me God?” I babbled.

“Exactly. You were not properly educated to be one of us. Friederich will tell you more about us. Good
night, Guntram. It's very late for you, child.”

“Good night, Konrad.”

March 1st

Lintorff fulfilled his promise after lunch. He allowed me to speak with Constantin, with him present and
checking every word I said. The only rule: you say nothing of what you might have heard or seen in this house.

Constantin answered the phone after it rang only once. “How are you, my dear?”

“Hello Constantin, I'm fine and you?”

“I'm concerned about you my angel. Does Lintorff treat you well?”

“Yes Constantin. I can't complain at all. He took me to the hospital and then, allowed me to work in his
Foundation for one day. I'm supposed to study with a teacher; Ostermann and continue with what I had left from last
semester in London. I refused, but he doesn't take no for an answer.”

“Guntram, do exactly as he tells you. He's dangerous and could explode at the slightest thing.”

“I will. How are the children?”

“They miss you enormously, especially Vania.”

“I also miss them and you too. Can you give them a hug for me?”

“Certainly. I will get out back as soon as I can. Not having you with me is terrible.”

“I'm fine Constantin, don't worry about me,” I said, not knowing what else to say. I mean, I miss him but
strangely I'm not in a hurry to come back to Russia or London. My memories are very bad and I long for another
start, chance, or whatever you want to call it.

“Never doubt that I love you and I will not let you down. You're my angel, Guntram. I'm divorcing Olga
as my lawyers found a way to neutralize her,” Constantin told me very gently and I heard Lintorff chuckling softly.

“Constantin, I don't want that you lose your children's custody. No judge will ever give them to you if he
finds out that you want to live with me,” I said with a mix of worry and desperation. “They love you and will suffer if
you leave Olga. She's their mother!”

“They were happy with us and my decision is made, angel.”

I saw Lintorff coming to me and he extended his hand toward me and I hurriedly said. “I have to go,
Constantin, good-bye.” I wanted to say something like I love you or kisses for you or I want you, but Lintorff's
piercing gaze killed the words in my mouth. I faintly heard his farewell as I returned the phone to him, feeling very
sad and embarrassed at the same time. He spoke in Russian with Constantin while I moved to the window, feeling
depressed.

“You have done very well Guntram. I have accepted to let you send part of your drawings to Repin every
two weeks. You can also write to each other, but all your letters or e mails will be monitored by me. If you try to
smuggle a letter out, all contact will cease. Is that clear?”

“I understand, Konrad.” Once again, he has reminded me who's wearing the trousers.