Iron Chamber of Memory (16 page)

Someone asked the king how long the fighting would continue, and in the dream Henry was convinced it was his own voice.

“Forever!” was the answer. “But the mercy of the White Christ will raise a mist, that we shall no more recall the wars we must always fight and fight again, forever against undying foes, until doomsday and last judgment brings true peace.

“It is the mercy of God, for while they fight, it may be that one of these pagan souls will break faith with the demons, and flee to Christ, and be laved in the baptismal waters which alone can break their oaths to unclean spirits.

“As for us, the light of Rome departs now from our shores. Let the light of the Cup of Christ not fail, even if must now it be forgotten. We are all the blood of Aeneas that remains, and we shall build a third and newer Troy, a Troynovant, even as Rome was a second Troy. We next must pull down the high places, and overturn all altars and stone tables that ever tasted human blood, and unmake the evil designs written on the chalk hills—but mind you keep the horse well-tended and unmarred, for he is of our party now.

“Many are the elves and efts of England, and much you will forget, but your Pendragon will not forget, and when I blow the great horn of the Swan Knight, which shatters all witchcraft and wakes all sleeping knights, you will heed, and arise, and come, for England’s hour of greatest tribulation will then be at hand.

“Until that time, delight you in all the diversions of the elfin dreams, and forget these endless wars, and rest. For the last battle of man grows near.”

Henry blinked and stood up and the dreams faded in his mind. For there, across the courtyard from the Rose chamber where he sat, he saw in the windows of the western wing, a light moving as it passed from window to window, soft as a will-o’-wisp. It entered the crenellated gallery. One window would grow light then dark, and then the next as it approached. He saw it was Laureline, more than naked in her transparent nightgown, candle in hand, pacing through the pools of moonlight, her hair like a great black hooded half-cape trailing in the night air behind her.

He stood, and walked around the curve of the Rose Crystal Chamber until he could see the rectangular pillar running from roof to floor, which contained the stairwell. The door opened. The candlestick fell from her startled hand as memory poured into her like wine filling a silver cup, but the flame expired as it fell, and the carpet was not burnt.

Henry rushed and seized her in his arms. It was a long while before he permitted her to breathe or speak.

Then he held her at arm’s length, peering at her carefully for a long time. She laughed in her throat. “Do you think I turn pink when I get pregnant? It is not the kind of thing one can see just by looking.”

He said. “You are lying! You wouldn’t–”

Laureline said, “No, I would not, because I am in love, and I have a man. But she would, that other me, that outer me that is frightened and unloved and lost. Do you think I am a fool? She can see Manfred is slipping away, slipping out of her hands. But she does not have a true love to save her, because that boy outside in that outer world will not speak up for himself. So what better way to make sure Manfred knows the wedding is set in stone? Lovemaking is one chain. A baby on the way a stronger one.”

“You cannot know if you are pregnant the same evening!”

“But I can fear that I am,” she said with a slow, cold smile, narrowing her lovely eyes. “And the man will feel that fear threefold, especially an honor-bound man like Manfred. He always has to do the right thing. That is his weakness.”

“You’re disgusting!” But he did not turn away from her nor release her from his arms. She kissed him and drew him down to the tigerskin rug.

She smiled. “I know I am. But I just did something. I woke up at his side, still warm and flushed from the loveplay, and I got up, and thought I left something here, in this wing, in this chamber. You see? I remembered. I am breaking the spell. I did not know why I had to come back here, but I was able to do it. It was you, you, you I was searching for. You know and I know that I am bad for Manfred. You have to break up my marriage to him.”

Henry said, “By warning him you are a manipulative vixen?”

She laughed again and put her head on his chest. “If he were the man who would heed that warning, and stop me, he would not be the man I need. Women are frail things. I do not have anyone I love out there, anyone to keep me on the straight and narrow. So I yearn for money and status and a fine house, yes, all those shallow things! Because the deep things are out of reach. I can give up a loveless marriage to Manfred for you. But I cannot give it up for nothing. Am I supposed to move back in with my mother? Men are so impractical.”

She grabbed him by the shoulder and threw her body to the left. He let himself be turned over on his back, so that she was astraddle him, breasts and neck and face gleaming silhouettes and pale, curving shadows in the moonlight from the window, her hair mingled with the night sky. “You have to take me, here and now, Henry. I am peeling my heart with a paring knife to ask you this, because if a woman has to ask, the answer is always
no
. I cannot bear the thought of Manfred on top of me, inside me, his ugly lips on me, simply because I cannot recall in that outer world who I truly am!”

“The image was too vivid. Henry turned his head away in disgust.

She said sharply, “Don't look away! The truth does not go away just because you don’t look at it. Look! Look at me! Do you know what happened? Do you know how demeaning that was for me? Manfred saw me sneaking along in my nicest underthings, and he thought I was coming to lure him away from his books. It seems I have tried it before when he was studying, only to be turned down. But this time I was already all wound up. You see, your rough lovemaking had me more flustered and ready than I have ever been. It is not something Manfred could ever have done. You had already summoned the orchestra and the music was resounding all the way through my body!”

“You are the one who ran out on me!” he said furiously.

She bent down, a lovely scented shadow in the moonlight, and kissed him lightly on the lips. “And you are the one who ran out on me on the golf links. The caddy and the other players were all staring, laughing at me behind their hands. They knew what it meant.”

“I don’t believe you. Manfred is not the kind of guy who believes in pre-marital sex. He and I were the only ones at school who thought it was better to wait, and decided to be book-crazy instead of girl-crazy like our fraternity mates. He has been sleeping with you?”

“Sure,” she said. He could not see her expression in the darkness. “Everyone does it.”

“Not everyone.”

“Just because I cannot get you, does not mean I cannot get him. I care about you, and that hinders my technique.”

“What kind of woman has a technique?”

“All women have a technique. Why do you think we gossip and read trashy paperbacks? It is the talk of our trade. Like I said before, it is like dancing. It is not some evil manipulation of some poor victim if you know the steps and have natural rhythm and you find a man who also knows his steps and who is not afraid to lead! In a waltz, one partner leads, and the other follows. If the man does not—and Manfred has no sense of music when it comes to sex. He was born to be celibate!—I say if the man does not lead, then the woman must. The dance is less fun for her, but it is better than sitting in a corner of the ballroom with a cup of punch waiting in vain to be asked.” Her voice turned bitter. “One of the few good bits of advice my mother ever gave me was this: Better to be racy than lonely. But if you would lead, if you would do your part, I would never be lonely again, and a wife is supposed to be hot and bothered and shameless with her husband in ways that racy girls cannot even imagine. I would not have to make that Hobson’s choice, if only, if only–”

“If only we were both true to ourselves, outside this one chamber.”

That seemed to anger her. “We?
We
? You mean
you
.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

She was shaking now with cold fury. “You left me, abandoned and embarrassed with the other golfers watching…”

“What other golfers? I did not notice anyone.”

“You thought I was a trollop, merely because I am trying, trying, to find some way to save our love from the curse of this chamber! What else was I supposed to do? If I act coldly toward you outside, how will we ever meet and fall in love? But if I grope, dimly, blindly, not knowing, never knowing, that my own true love is walking away from me, within hands’ reach, it is too much to bear!”

“I left because I found out I was in love with you, you little idiot!”

She cried out with sheer joy and kissed him. “Then there is hope! Love is stronger!”

He said, “No, not so. For Outside Me does not remember me and us, even so. And what else could he do but leave you?”

“He could take me.”

“And what about Manfred?”

“How dare you!” Her voice was venom.

“What did I say?” His voice was bewilderment.

“You have seen him with me? Do you think we will be happy together for the rest of our lives? No; he does not even like the things I like, or want to do the things I want to do. Name something he and I have in common?”

He could not.

She went on in a softer, sadder voice: “Do you realize that, at any moment, in the Out Of Doors, you might be called away, back to America? Unless you simply by accident or impulse wander into this chamber of this house, you will not even remember you found the perfect soul mate for yourself! The same little impulses and quiet voices in our hearts that are finding excuses to bring us together in the Out Of Doors, if I marry him, will make me do things to make my marriage unhappy, and
oh!
For the rest of my life! The whisper in my heart will tell me to hate my husband!”

He could feel her wiping tears on his chest.

“I have made my decision, Henry. It is too late. Your half-measures are no good. Either you make love to me, here and now, or it is over. The next time we wander into this room together, you will only remember that you had your chance at happiness, and lost it.”

He was glad she had not seen his tears of weakness earlier. His mind was cold and clear. He said, “I can’t live without you, but I cannot betray my friend, no, not even if my friend never find out. My heart will break if it is over between us, but, at least, the memory will not torment me. I do not want you to love a dishonest man. It is that simple.”

She sighed and laid her head on his chest. “Then you are saying it is over?”

He said, “No. I am saying I reject your ultimatum. We will not make love here and now, not until I marry you in a proper ceremony and make you mine. But you will not leave me nor betray me. I won’t allow it. I will bite you on the neck if you disobey me. I am not asking you, Laureline. I am telling you.”

She sighed again. “Me and my big mouth. I should never have told you about the dance. Now that you are taking the lead, I suppose I cannot complain about you stepping on my feet. But there is still nothing to do. There are no clues, nothing to investigate. I suppose Manfred could hire a team of scientists, or the kinds of kooks who look for ghosts in empty houses, but what would the kooks actually point their kook instruments at? Where are the ghosts? You won’t know what to ask the kooks to look for. I don’t know if any human mind can figure out something this strange. Unless, of course, Manfred is behind it.”

“He is not,” said Henry, but he wished he were more certain of his words.

“But if it is him?” she implored. “If it is Manfred keeping us apart?”

Henry gritted his teeth. “I shall certainly kill him.”

Kissing her, he stood up, and pulled his memorandum book out of the pocket of his coat, which was thrown over a chair arm. “Do you have a light?”

She said, “For a man who smokes like a chimney, you would think you would have a box of matches in every pocket of every garment!”

“If I have to ask for a light, it reminds me not to smoke so much, and gives me an excuse to talk to strangers.” He put the book under the open window, and found the moonlight was bright enough to make out the letters on the most recent page.

Get-well card for Mrs. Wolfhound.

And

Pick up crucifix at Brising Brothers.

He muttered, “What in the world is this?” He remembered that the Brising Brothers were the jewelers on the Parish of St. Ouen on Island of Jersey. Short, funny little men with big whiskers. It was at their shop where he had bought the diamond pendant. He must have ordered an additional work from them.

She stepped up next to him, pressing her warm body up against his side, and handed him her little tiny pencil from her notebook. “Push the button on the back. The lead lights up. It still writes just fine, but you can see what you are writing.”

He stared at it. Henry realized that he could no longer tell what was supposed to be odd and what was supposed to be normal. He had never seen a mechanical pencil with luminous graphite built in. But did that mean it was inexplicable? Or just unusual?

Laureline said, “You are gaping like a carp! It is from Japan. The pencil lead glows in the dark for a few minutes on the paper, and then fades to black. Really clever, actually.”

He wrote down:
Investigate history of Rose Crystal Chamber. Who built it and why? Did any of Manfred’s relatives also study mesmerism?
And, as promised, the pencil strokes glowed in the dark. Then, on impulse, his hand wrote:
What if an inner Manfred lives too, tells him to slip me a clue? & where did the mermaid of Frome go to, after slaying her lover Lubberlu?

But then she put her hands in his, and said, “Darling, I have a better idea. Simpler. Why not just stay in the chamber? Here is a couch, a lamp, a fireplace and a bottle of wine. It is an old mansion: I can bring in a chamber pot. I practically live here, now. All the moving, all the preparations for the wedding will bring me back again and again. You saw, you saw, that I can make myself just on impulse arise at night and come in. I will make a note that this should be used as a pantry or luncheon room, and to bring food. I will keep coming here on any excuse and our love will not die.”