Irresistible Forces (17 page)

She was in Cal's office with him when Steve called at noon, and he sounded exhilarated.

“What's up?” she asked, sounding distracted. They'd been going over some projections for the next quarter.

“I thought you might like some news.”

“What's that?” she asked, smiling, as Cal watched her intently.

“I have a job. And so do you, I suspect. They want me on January first. The head of trauma here is leaving, and if my references check out, which they should, if they call Lucas, I'll be their new head of trauma. How does that sound?”

“Wow!” Her eyes met Cal's as she said it. “Congratulations, sweetheart!” She was nearly speechless. It was all falling into place with so little effort. It was as though it was meant to be. It was obviously kismet.

“The same to you. Are you going to tell Cal you'll take it?”

“What do you think?” she asked cryptically. She wanted to be sure it was really all right with him if she did it. But now they both had great new jobs to come to, and it lifted a ten-ton weight off her shoulders. She was free now to take the job Cal was offering her and that she wanted so badly.

“I think if you don't tell him you'll take it, I will. Go for it, sweetheart. You deserve it.”

“Thank you, Steve,” she said, feeling grateful and happy and relieved all at once. She was still smiling when she hung up the phone a few minutes later. And Cal was watching her with a worried expression.

“That sounded hopeful.”

“Better than that.” She beamed at him. “He got the job.” Cal's face broke into a broad smile, he was as relieved as she was.

“Where does that leave us, Merrie?”

“Where would you like it to leave us?” she asked directly, her eyes never leaving his for an instant. It was like dancing with Fred Astaire again, they were perfectly synchronized, their minds always working together.

“I'd like it to leave you as the new CFO of Dow Tech. Will you do it?”

She nodded slowly. She was sure now. It was almost like getting married, a huge step, and an important commitment. “Yes, I will, if that's what you want.”

“You know I do, Meredith.” He held out his hand then and shook hers. “Is it a deal?”

“It is. I can't believe this has happened.” And it had all happened so quickly. Two weeks before, they'd been on a road show together, and now she was his employee and moving to California.

“Neither can I.” He went to the small wet bar in the anteroom to his office and took out a bottle of champagne and two glasses. And when he came back, he was smiling from ear to ear. “Let's celebrate. This is the best news I've had in years. Maybe ever.”

They toasted each other, and sat drinking champagne and talking for a while, and then they started talking about the details.

“How soon do you want me, Cal?” She knew that Charlie McIntosh had given him two weeks, but she assumed that he'd be willing to stay on for a while, particularly knowing now that she'd be coming out and would need a little time to tie things up at her end. Two weeks, if he'd stuck to it, would have meant the eighth of October, and there was no way she could do that. If nothing else, she had to give her firm a decent notice. She was thinking about a month, and she had to sell their New York apartment. And Steve had said they wanted him in the East Bay on the first of January. That sounded about right to her.

“No later than October fifteenth,” Cal answered calmly. And she laughed, thinking he was joking.

“Very funny. I'm serious. Steve has to be out here on January first. Maybe December fifteenth, or just after Christmas?”

“No way, Meredith.” The shrewd businessman she had seen in operation before had risen to the fore. He had to think of his own needs now, and Dow Tech's. He wasn't going to wait three months for her to come to California. “Charlie has already told me that he won't stay a single extra day, which is lousy of him, but that's Charlie. He can't wait to get out of here. He and his wife have already planned a two-month tour of Asia.’’

“Cal, there's no way I can be here in three weeks. That's crazy.” She was more than a little startled, and she didn't want to be out two and a half months before Steve, that wouldn't be fair to either one of them. But she also had to think of Dow Tech and Callan's needs.

“I can't function without a CFO. I'd really like you here two weeks from now when Charlie leaves. I could manage for a week without a CFO, but no longer. You've got to come out sooner. Steve can commute on weekends, or you can. I'm sorry, Merrie, I hate doing this to you. But I need you.” She liked that part of it, but she hated to tell Steve they'd have a bicoastal marriage till the end of the year. But Cal didn't seem to be willing to give her an inch on it. “I want to give you a signing bonus, of course. I assume you know that. I thought two hundred and fifty thousand dollars might soften the blow.” And how was she going to argue with that? Callan Dow knew what he was doing. “I'm going to give you an apartment here in Palo Alto for three months, at our expense of course, longer if you need it. That'll give you time to decide where you want to live, and to find a house you like.” He was doing more than she could possibly have asked for.

“It's all very generous, Cal. I'm just a little stunned that you want me out here so soon. I wasn't expecting that.” She still sounded worried about it, in spite of the on-signing bonus, which was more than generous, it was outstanding.

“I wasn't expecting Charlie to give me two weeks’ notice. I'm sorry to put pressure on you, Meredith, but the heat is on all of us. Shall we say the fifteenth?”

“I guess we have to. I'll just have to fly back to New York on weekends, when Steve's not working. He can come out midweek when he's off. We'll work it out,” but she was concerned about what Steve would say about it. She was meeting him at the hotel at four o'clock, and they were flying back to New York on a six o'clock flight.

Cal gave her a big hug when she left, and told her to call him if there was anything he could do to help, and she told him to call her if he needed any input from her before she got there, and he laughed at that.

“Are you kidding? I'll be following you around every ten minutes for the next three weeks, Meredith. I hope everything goes smoothly at your end.” He knew her partners were going to be upset, but as far as he was concerned, they deserved it. The one she was really worried about was her husband. It was going to be a tough two and a half months not living with each other, she wasn't looking forward to it, and she knew he wouldn't either.

But as usual, he surprised her. “If that's what it takes sweetheart, then so be it. You have to go for it now, it won't wait, and I'll be there before you know it.” Once again, she told him he was amazing.

They talked about it again on the plane, and Steve said he could take care of selling the apartment, and he reassured her that he was willing to fly out to San Francisco to see her whenever he had a few days’ break from the trauma unit.

“You know,” Steve confessed to her somewhere over the Rocky Mountains, with a glass of wine in his hand, “I liked Cal a lot more than I thought I would. From what you said,” he confessed, looking a little sheepish, “before that, I was a little jealous of him. But I think his motives are pure. I think he has enormous respect for you, but he's only interested in his business.” Meredith was happy to hear it, and she had always had the same impression. They had gotten very close to each other on the trip, but not in any way she had ever really worried about. They were good friends and devoted colleagues. “I like his kids too. They're nice. Too bad about their mother.” Meredith nodded, glancing out the window, and then she saw that Steve was looking at her with a gentle smile, and she suspected what was coming.

“Speaking of which, what do you think if, after you've been there for a while, a few months maybe, maybe six … we start thinking about a baby.” She'd be thirty-eight by then, and there was no denying that it was getting to be time, if that was what they decided they wanted. She had always said that if they had children, she wanted them before she was forty. And if they started pursuing a pregnancy in the next six months, she'd be thirty-nine when the baby came. Medically, Steve had always been uneasy about her starting their family any later.

“Why don't we see how things are going then?” she said vaguely. It was an old refrain he knew only too well. And he was disappointed by her answer.

“If we keep waiting to ‘see,’ I'll be ninety and we'll still be talking about it. Meredith, one of these days, you're going to have to bite the bullet.” He thought she was physically afraid of pregnancy and delivery and he wasn't entirely wrong, but she was far more afraid of the commitment a baby would require of her.

“Why do I have to bite the bullet?” she said, looking disturbed. She knew she owed him a lot after what he was willing to give up in New York, but she wasn't sure she wanted to make a baby part of the deal. In fact, she knew she didn't, and she didn't want to make false promises to him. All she wanted now was to help Cal expand his business. To her, that was a lot more exciting than having children.

“Cal seems to be able to manage a family on his own, and to run a business. I think you could do it too, Merrie. I'll help you.”

“I know you would,” she said, looking upset. “I just don't know what I want yet.”

“Maybe you never will until you just do it.”

“And then what? What if I hate it? What if it's just too much for me, if it screws up my career, or we decide we can't handle it with both our jobs? You can't send it back if you don't like it.”

“I can't imagine you not loving a baby,” he said gently.

“Kids scare me,” she said honestly. “I'm not like you. You're some kind of pied piper with them. They always look at me like the witch in
Sleeping Beauty.”
He laughed at the comparison and leaned over and kissed her.

“No kid of mine is going to think you're a witch. I promise.”

“We'll talk about it again when we get settled.” She dismissed the idea as summarily as she always had, for the past fourteen years, and turned her mind to other things. It always made her feel anxious to talk about having babies. ‘‘ When are you going to give them notice at the hospital?” She asked him the question as much to distract him from an awkward topic as because she wanted to know the answer.

“As soon as we get back, I guess. I want to give them three months’ notice. This way, I can be out West with you by Christmas.” It sounded perfect, except for the time they'd be commuting before that, but Steve had assured her it would go quickly, and she would certainly be busy. “What about you?” he asked.

“I'm going to tell them tomorrow.” She had stayed away an extra day, and she was beginning to wonder if they suspected something. “They're not going to like it.”

“Cal is right on that score. They deserve it. They don't appreciate you.”

But apparently, they appreciated her more than he or Cal thought they did. They were devastated when she told her partners the next morning. They couldn't believe it. Particularly when she told them she was leaving in three weeks for California. But after the initial shock, they were gracious about it, and gave her a very pleasant dinner the week before she left. It was hard to believe that a twelve-year-long chapter in her career was ending.

And as she sat in their apartment with Steve the night before she left, with open suitcases all around, she looked at her husband in amazement.

“It's like going off to college or something, isn't it? I still can't believe it.”

“Neither can I,” he admitted with a grin, “but I love it.” He had told the hospital he would be leaving and they were shocked, but happy for him. Lucas was particularly sorry about it, because he knew it meant that it would be at least another year before he could leave trauma for research. But they were already looking for someone to take Steve's place, although they had no prospects yet. And if they found someone soon enough, Steve had promised to train them. The one thing he had promised them was that he wouldn't leave until they had a replacement. And the hospital in California had agreed to go along with it, even if it delayed him slightly. They had been entirely reasonable about it.

Steve left for the hospital when she left for the airport the next day. It was a Sunday, and it had been an emotional week for her. She had left her office for the last time on Friday, and she was sorry to leave her friends there. There had been some tears, some warm good-byes, and a lot of good wishes. And as she turned to leave the apartment, she glanced around as though she was never coming back again, trying to remember what she'd forgotten.

“Take it easy, babe,” Steve said gently. “You'll be back next weekend.”

“I know. I guess I'm just a little nervous.”

“Don't be,” he reassured her. “Everything's going to be fine. It's going to be terrific.”

“I know,” she smiled at him, and closed the door behind them.

Chapter 10

T
HE JOB IN
California was everything Meredith had hoped it would be. It was exciting, challenging, and working with Callan Dow was even better than she had expected. And professionally, it was the chance of a lifetime. They moved together in perfect harmony through meeting after meeting, and sat in each other's offices for hours, talking about new projects. Meredith finished every day exhilarated and excited.

And the furnished apartment he had rented for her was airy and spacious and pleasant. She called Steve as often as she could, to let him know what was happening in her life, but as always, it wasn't easy to get him. But when they did manage to speak, he was happy for her. He was even understanding when she told him she had too much work to get away and come back to New York over the first weekend. She was still trying to get through the stack of unfinished projects Charlie McIntosh had left her.

“I'm sorry, sweetheart,” she told him late Thursday night. She had been in California, and in the job, for four days, and she hadn't caught her breath yet.

“Don't worry about it. Maybe you can look at houses for us over the weekend.” They had agreed that since he'd be working in the East Bay, they would look for houses in the city. They would both have to commute that way, but it was an easier commute for Steve than if they lived in Palo Alto. It would have taken him two hours to get to work that way, which was just too much for him. The city was a good compromise for them, and Meredith had agreed to it.

“I'll look on Sunday,” she promised. And she had every intention of doing it, but by then, she was still buried in work, and sitting with stacks of it on the terrace of her apartment. Cal had invited her to come to dinner the night before, and she refused his offer and ate a sandwich while working. But when he called on Sunday afternoon, having gotten more work done by then, she relented.

She had an early dinner with him and the kids, and this time all of them were fairly pleasant to her. They were getting used to her, and after meeting Steve, even Mary Ellen finally believed that she wasn't their father's girlfriend.

Her second week at Dow Tech was even better than the first, and by midweek she was sure that she could get to New York for the weekend. But this time, it was Steve who called. Harvey Lucas was sick, and he had to cover for him. But Meredith wasn't as disappointed as he was. She had so much to do, she was grateful to be able to stay in Palo Alto again, and get more work done.

“We're not exactly winning gold stars on our commuting, are we?” Steve said, sounding mildly depressed about it. He was busy at work, but he missed her. It was sad coming home to the empty apartment at night, when he finally got off duty, and he felt like a kid who had no one to play with. It had been two weeks since he'd seen her.

But the real crunch came on her third weekend in California. They had promised each other that nothing would stand in their way this time. She had reservations on a flight to New York on Friday night, and on Wednesday Cal learned that customers they were going to entertain on Thursday would be delayed till Friday, and Cal asked her to stay. The customers were important to him.

“I know you were probably planning to go to New York this weekend,” he said apologetically, “but I'd really appreciate it if you'd stay here. Just this one time. I think it might make a big difference to the people and they haven't met you.”

“Of course, Cal,” she said, without hesitating. She knew how important it was to him, and she could see his point, and she hoped Steve would understand. But she was still surprised and upset when he didn't.

“For chrissake, Merrie. It's been three weeks. Is this what it's going to be like for the next two months? When the hell am I going to see you?” For once, he was furious with her, and she was upset that he wasn't more understanding. She also felt a little guilty about not going to New York and it made her defensive.

“I'm not staying out here for a tennis tournament, or my garden club. This is business, baby. I have to be here.”

“Bullshit. Cal can entertain them without you.”

“No, he can't. Or at least he doesn't want to. And I work for him. I can't just walk out when he's asked me to be here. We didn't plan it this way. TIQ is our biggest account.”

“Great. So what am I supposed to do? I have to work Sunday so I can't come out. You knew that.” He sounded angry and disappointed.

“I'll be home next weekend. I swear, scout's honor.” But he was still annoyed when she hung up, and he called back and complained about it again later. He was upset that he hadn't seen her. But there was nothing she could do about it. Business was business.

Cal had hired a caterer to serve them dinner at his home on Friday night, he had invited three other couples, and it was a very pleasant evening. He asked Meredith to come before the other guests arrived, which she did, in a new black cocktail dress that was sleek and sophisticated and very chic, and he looked very pleased when he saw her.

“That's a knockout, Merrie! And so are you.” He briefed her quickly about the other couples, and he knew she had already done extensive reading about the people from TIQ.

And when they arrived, she was a very gracious hostess for him. She moved easily among the guests, talked to the men about business issues, and then spent an appropriate amount of time with the women. But most of them were talking about their children, and Meredith eventually drifted back into the male-generated business conversations. And Cal beamed as he watched her, she was perfect.

When the guests finally left, they all agreed that it had been a wonderful evening, great food, interesting people, and lively conversations. And the man from TIQ seemed to be in love with Merrie.

“You totally snowed him,” Cal said with a look of admiration. “You were terrific. Thank you for staying. I know you were planning to go to New York, but this was important to me.”

“I knew it was,” she said simply.

“Was Steve upset?” he asked, looking concerned and she hesitated.

“A little. But I'll be home next weekend.” But she had realized that it wasn't as easy getting back to New York on weekends as she had thought it would be. But they only had to do it for two more months. It wasn't forever. And Steve had to be understanding about it. She was establishing herself in a new business.

“I'm really sorry,” Cal said sincerely. “Why don't you leave early Friday next weekend?”

“Thanks, I might. I'm going to use this weekend to house-hunt in the city,” she said, as they walked slowly toward her car in his driveway. She was pleased that the evening had gone so well for him.

“Can I come?” he asked unexpectedly.

“It's pretty boring,” she said, and she'd been planning to do some shopping. “You probably want to be with the kids,” she said, as he opened her car door for her.

“As a matter of fact, they're all busy. My chauffeuring services aren't even needed. I'd really love to come with you. I like looking at houses.”

“All right,” she said with a smile, “if you really want to.”

“What time shall I pick you up?”

“How about ten thirty? There's one I want to see at eleven.”

“I'll come by at ten fifteen to be on the safe side. And thanks again for tonight … you were really great,” he said with a warm smile, and a minute later she drove off with a wave, and he was at her apartment building at ten fifteen the next morning, wearing khaki pants, a navy turtleneck, and a blazer, and as usual, he looked very handsome. She was beginning to wonder if he ever looked disheveled. Knowing Cal, it was hard to imagine.

He drove her to the city, as they chatted comfortably, about business, as usual. And the first house they saw was a disappointment. But after that, they saw two others, both of them in Pacific Heights. One needed too much work, though it was a pretty, old house and had great views, and the other seemed a little small to her, although Cal liked it. But she thought it was a little claustrophobic.

“Depends how many kids you plan to have,” he said, as they got back in his car. He had just suggested they have lunch at The Waterfront, they were both starving.

“Very funny. You know I don't want kids, Cal. I have Dow Tech now. That's my new baby.”

“I'm not sure your husband is as clear on that as I am,” he smiled. “He said something about it to me when you two came to dinner, after he'd been swimming with my children.”

“I know,” she said uncomfortably. It was a sore subject. “He keeps pushing, and I think that's part of why he wants to move out here. I just can't see it for me, now more than ever.”

“I think you're just scared, and I still believe in my earlier theory.”

“What? That I'm not committed to Steve? Now that you've met him, how can you say that?”

“I'm not saying you're not committed to him,” he corrected her. “I think you are, as much as anyone ever is. Maybe you don't trust the relationship, or the future.” It was an old theory with him. She had heard it that first week and here it was again.

“After nearly fifteen years, I don't know what's not to trust. He's not going anywhere, and neither am I. I just trust my own instincts. I know myself, and just as you said about Charlotte a long time ago, I'm not very maternal. I think it's a mistake to go against that.”

“Is that what you always agreed on right from the beginning?” he asked, as they headed down Divisadero Street toward the water.

She hesitated before she answered. “Probably not. But I was twenty-three years old when we got married, I'm not sure I knew myself that well then, or understood how much my career would come to mean to me. It takes a while to figure that out,” she said very clearly.

“I know. But there's usually more to it than careers, and I think you know that.”

“I don't know what you mean when you say that, Cal.”

“I've known people who were married to the same people for years, and never had kids, either because they didn't want to, or thought they couldn't, and the next thing you know, they've fallen for someone else, get remarried, and bang, they're pregnant. It's not a new theory. Just the nature of the beast,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Are you saying you think Steve and I will get divorced?” She looked startled by the suggestion. It was something she never even thought of.

“God knows, I hope not. I guess I'm just saying that nothing is predictable in life, and if you look deep enough, I'll bet there are other reasons why you don't want children, not all of them work-related. Maybe you don't think you'd be good parents.”

“I think he would, if he weren't working forty-eight-hour stretches. I'm not so sure about myself. Maybe you're right though. If we'd have wanted kids, we probably would have had them. People do seem to have them no matter what, no matter how wrong the circumstances are, or how bad the timing.”

“Maybe he doesn't really want them either, and he uses you as the scapegoat.” They were all new ideas to her, but some of them were worth a closer look, and she wondered if Cal was closer to the truth than she wanted to believe.

Lunch at The Waterfront was fun, and the view was spectacular. And afterward, they drove by the Palace of the Legion of Honor, and walked around for a little while, chatting, and admiring the paintings. And when they left, he invited her to join him and his children for dinner.

“You're going to get tired of me, if you eat three meals a day with me,” she teased, but he insisted.

“Since I got you stuck alone here all weekend, the least I can do is feed you.” But she was having such a nice time with him that she didn't resist him. He was so easy to be with, and they always had so much to talk about, mostly about his business.

The kids didn't seem surprised to see her that night.

Mary Ellen was at a friend's, and Andy and Julie were watching videos. But when they came down and saw her, they greeted her like an old friend. Andy was all excited about the football game they were going to on Sunday. The ‘Niners were playing the Broncos.

“Are you coming with us?” Andy asked her with interest over dinner.

“No, I'm not,” she said politely.

“Why not?” Cal asked, as he smiled at her. “That's a great idea. Do you like football?”

“Sometimes. I'm a big baseball fan. It's usually too cold in New York to go to football games without freezing to death.”

“It's better here,” Julie reassured her, and somehow Meredith got swept away by the tides of their enthusiasm, and the next thing she knew she had agreed to join them.

“Are you sure the children won't mind?” she asked Cal after they left the table.

“Of course not. Why would they? You're part of the family now, Meredith. They're perfectly comfortable with you.”

“They just liked Steve because he played Marco Polo with them.”

“Yes, they did. But they like you too. Julie thinks you're smart, and Andy thinks you're very pretty. He has good taste,” he said proudly, “he takes after me.”

“And Mary Ellen hates me,” she said, laughing at the double compliment. “Maybe you should ask her.”

“She likes you too. She just takes longer to warm up to people than the others. But the last time you were here, she loved what you were wearing. At her age, that's a major issue. She said you were ‘cool,’ which is a big deal to her. I'm not ‘cool,’ in case you want to know, because I'm her father. She thinks I'm two hundred years old, and really dumb most of the time. Last week she told me I was pathetic.”

“See what I mean,” Meredith said, looking awed by him, he handled it all with such ease, from business to babies. “I wouldn't know how to deal with that. If my daughter told me I was pathetic, I'd be heartbroken.”

“You toughen up eventually. After they tell you they hate you a few million times, you begin to miss it when they don't say it. ‘Pathetic’ is high praise, coming from a fourteen-year-old. It's better than ‘retarded.’ I was ‘retarded’ last year, and ‘evil’ earlier this summer. And last week Julie told me I was really stupid, but that was because I said she can't wear lipstick. You have to learn the jargon.” He was laughing and so was Meredith. He made it all seem so easy.