It's All Relative (49 page)

Jessie couldn’t even bring herself to think about what their last moment together would be like. She knew it was going to be awful, one of those cheesy, godforsaken movie moments where the woman blubbers uncontrollably while the man stoically walks away, never to be seen again. It was a scene that always made Jessie groan whenever she saw it, and now it was about to be her life. And she was positive that she would be just as much of a wreck as the fictional woman in the movie.

Just driving down the road with her hands safely at ten and two, her vision started to haze with unshed tears. She couldn’t seem to go much longer than an hour before the urge to cry started creeping up on her. Jessie blinked repeatedly to clear her sight. She had to be stronger than this, or else she’d never make it through the next couple of weeks.

Of course, it didn’t help that she hadn’t slept more than a few hours since racing home to see Kai. After their heart-wrenching conversation, Jessie had walked to a nearby café. She’d felt numb as she’d settled into a secluded corner, but then the tears had come, and she’d laid her head on the table and sobbed.

They’d finally said I love you, and it had been awful. Wonderfully awful. Being able to express their feelings had only made the situation that much crueler. It probably would have been better for both of them, if they’d never said it. Because now she knew. She’d wondered if he felt that way about her, and now there was no doubt. He loved her. She loved him. But that didn’t diminish the chasm between them. It was inescapable, as Kai had smoothly pointed out while professing his devotion.

I love you too…Jessica Marie.

Jessica Marie, the full name that only her family ever used with her. He’d made it crystal clear in that one sentence that while he loved her, ached for her, he wouldn’t be with her any more than she would be with him. And now he was leaving, and Jessie couldn’t sleep.

Jessie vaguely remembered a concerned elderly couple at the restaurant. Noticing her bloodshot eyes and distraught appearance, they’d kindly given her a ride home. Feeling empty inside, Jessie had thanked them for their graciousness. She’d thanked fate when she discovered that her roommates were still asleep; she didn’t want to answer their questions. She’d spent the rest of the afternoon staring at her ceiling while her mind spun.

Eventually Harmony had popped in and asked her how things had gone with Kai. Amazingly enough, Jessie had been able to shrug…and lie. She hated herself for doing it, but she told Harmony that a childhood friend of Kai’s had been seriously injured, and his prognosis didn’t look good. Harmony had been appropriately shocked. The story allowed her to be melancholy around her roommates without too many raised eyebrows. It also created a convincing reason for Kai to return home. Jessie had told her friends that Kai was making arrangements to go back and spend some time with his friend…and then she said he wasn’t sure if he would return. Harmony had hugged her after she’d admitted that; Jessie hadn’t been able to stop the tears.

Sighing at how dramatic her life had become lately, Jessie glumly pulled onto her street. She planned on spending her entire extended lunch break blankly staring at the TV. She didn’t even care what was on; she just wanted to not think for a while.

But when she approached her house, all thoughts of doing anything left her. Her heart started to race as she neared her driveway. Jessie couldn’t believe what she was seeing, and briefly considered the possibility that in her exhaustion, she’d fallen asleep at the wheel and was having a vivid dream. That scenario seemed far more plausible than what she was looking at.

Resting in the driveway, where April usually parked her Jetta, was Kai’s vibrant motorcycle.

Jessie didn’t see him anywhere near the bike as she pulled into her driveway. What was he doing here? And in the middle of the day? They were supposed to be avoiding each other for the next two weeks. Him being here made absolutely no sense.

Unbuckling herself, Jessie tossed open her door and called out his name. Willing her heart to stop rattling against her ribcage, she glanced at the bike, then the front door, then the empty street. She did all of that in a rapid succession. Where the heck was he? And why was he here? She started walking toward the back of the house; her breath made a cloud of fog in front of her face as she panted. “Kai?” she yelled again.

“Jessie…”

Her name being uttered by a low voice returned her attention to the front of the house. Striding to the front door, she still didn’t see him anywhere. But then he lifted his head. He’d been sitting on the edge of the first step, farther from the door and lower to the ground than she’d been looking. An overgrown bush was creeping toward the house there, and between the leaves and his low, stone-still position, Jessie’s anxious eyes had passed right over him.

As he peeked up to her, Jessie’s heart flew up her throat; she darted to his side as quickly as she could. Pushing aside some bushes, she knelt directly in front of him. He stared at her blankly, his expression devoid of emotion. He was still dressed in his work clothes, so he’d probably gone in today, but for some reason he didn’t have a jacket on, and he was shivering uncontrollably in the frigid December air.

Jessie rubbed her hands up and down the long-sleeved shirt he was wearing under his polo. Kai had started acclimating to the climate, but even Jessie would be freezing in the outfit he had on. “Kai…what are you doing out here?”

He just continued staring at her, his jaw chattering as he shook. His lips were pale and his face was worn, like he’d just witnessed a horrible accident that he couldn’t stop seeing in his mind. Jaw trembling, he finally shifted his gaze to her and spoke. “I’m s-s-s-sorry. I know…I’m not…supposed to be here.” His eyes filled with tears, and Jessie’s heart compressed at seeing the raw pain in them. “I just didn’t know where else…to go,” he stammered, so cold he could hardly speak.

She brought her warm hands to his face and cupped his cheeks; they felt like ice packs. Glancing at his body, she noticed his wet, dirty slacks. Peeking at his bike, she noted the lack of a helmet. Turning back to him, she scooted closer and encouraged him to lean against her. His entire body was shaking as badly as his jaw. Running her hands around his shoulders, she said, “Where’s your coat…your helmet? Did you ride here like this?” She pulled back to look at him. “What’s wrong, Kai?”

His eyes searched her face. “Everything…is a lie.”

Not understanding, Jessie shook her head, then tucked her arms under his shoulders in an attempt to get him to stand up. “Come on, let’s get you inside. You’re frozen.” Kai awkwardly stood and Jessie supported him while she opened the door. They stumbled through it together; Kai still seemed too dazed to do anything on his own. Compassion and apprehension shot through Jessie in waves. Something bad had happed to him. He was obviously in shock.

Feeling the warmth of her house on her chilly cheeks, Jessie helped Kai to the couch. With both of her roommates at work, the home was quiet, filled only with the sound of Kai’s chattering teeth. Jessie wrapped some blankets around him, and once he was draped in fleece, she sat down and massaged his hands to get the blood flowing again. The change in temperature made him sniffle, but after a few long, silent minutes, his shaking eased and stopped.

When he was calmer, he started speaking. “It was a match. It was actually a match.” His brows bunched together as he said it, like he couldn’t believe whatever he was talking about. “He was telling the truth,” he whispered.

Knowing she couldn’t help him if she was clueless, Jessie grabbed his chin and gently pulled his gaze her way. “What was a match?” she asked carefully, not wanting to send him into another bout of panic, since he seemed calmer. Still immensely bothered by whatever truth he’d learned, but calmer.

Kai shook his head. The set of his mouth matched the disbelief in his eyes. “He’s my father. I’m his son.”

That information didn’t help to clear up the confusion any. His father? Had he talked to Uncle Nate today? Jessie couldn’t imagine what Kai’s father could have possibly said to make him react like this though. Unless…Kai had told him the truth about why he was going home. Jessie wasn’t sure why Kai would do that, but it was the only thing she could think of that would explain his current emotional state. Feeling the chill from Kai’s skin all the way to her bones, she dropped her fingers from his face. “Does your dad know, Kai? Did you tell him?”

Kai’s gaze shifted to stare through Jessie, like she wasn’t even there. “He’s known for so long. How could he lie to me, for all this time? And mom…she had to know, or at least suspect, from the very beginning. Why didn’t she tell me? Why didn’t either one of them tell me?” His voice trailed off as his eyes watered.

Confused, Jessie began rubbing his back in a warming circle. Sadness and revulsion began bubbling within her. She didn’t quite understand all of what Kai was saying, but ultimately, he’d said yes. His family knew their horrible secret. It wouldn’t be long now before more family members knew about them. Maybe Jessie’s parents would be next. Her eyes filled with tears as she thought about them knowing what she’d done. What would they say? What would they do? What could she and Kai do now?

Sighing, Jessie rested her head on his shoulder. Wishing they didn’t have to talk about it, she whispered, “What happens now, Kai?”

Kai shook his head so hard that he jostled Jessie from his shoulder. She peeked up at him in concern. His lips were still tinged with a slight blueness, and he was still staring off with that dazed expression, like his world had just been turned upside down. While Jessie was certainly upset, she was puzzled over the severity of his reaction. And his odd comments. Many of them just didn’t make any sense. Like, “it was a match.” Jessie still had no clue what that meant.

Kai’s voice was hollow as he answered her. “I don’t know. What do I say to them now? What do I say to my…to
him
?”

Jessie scrunched her brows. She was obviously missing a vital piece of this conversation. Sweeping tiny slices of hair from his forehead, she whispered, “I think I’m confused. What on earth are you talking about, Kai?”

He locked eyes with her then, like he suddenly realized she was still there. Then he freed his arms so he could engulf her in a hug; he squeezed her so tightly her breath was shortened. “I’m sorry I’m here, Jessie. I just needed to get out of there, and I didn’t know where else to go. I thought about driving to your work once I realized you weren’t here, but after I sat down on your step, I couldn’t make myself get back up again.”

Jessie took a deep, steadying breath when he pulled back to study her. More like himself than he had been since she’d found him, he quietly said, “I’m sorry, but I can’t do this on my own. I need you.”

Jessie instantly drew him back into her embrace. Concern overriding her curiosity, she fervently nodded. “Of course. I’m here for you whenever you need me, Kai, no matter what else is going on.” Finally relaxing in her arms, Kai nodded against her shoulder. “Can you tell me what happened?” Jessie asked after a silent minute.

Kai moved away from her and sighed. Swallowing a harsh lump, he closed his tropical eyes. Reopening them slowly, he quietly said, “I just found out that Nate Harper…isn’t my father.”

It was about the last thing in the world that Jessie had expected to hear him say. She couldn’t even really comprehend the words he’d just spoken. It made no sense. Of course Uncle Nate was his father. Who else could be his dad? “What?” she asked, reaching for his hand.

Kai shook his head as their fingers intertwined. “I’m not his son…and he knew. All this time…ever since I was a small boy…he’s known I wasn’t his.” Leaning back against the couch, he looked over at her; his eyes looked older than she’d ever seen them.

“What do you mean? Of course he’s your dad…right?” Jessie still couldn’t wrap her head around what he was saying.

By Kai’s expression, he was having trouble as well. “No. I saw the test…we can’t be a match.” Exhaling a slow breath, he ran a hand down his face. “He can’t be my father…because someone else is. I matched with him perfectly…all the markers were there. There’s no denying the genetics.”

All Jessie understood was that Kai had seen proof, proof he wasn’t Uncle Nate’s child. Curiosity drove her to ask who was. “Who is your father then?”

Kai laid his head back on the couch with a sigh. “Mason Thomas is my father.” Looking exhausted by the admission, he closed his eyes.

Jessie was floored. “Your boss, Mason?”

Kai opened his eyes and twisted his head to look at her. Wearily, he nodded. “I went into his office this morning to give him my notice…and he told me he’d had an affair with my mother, and I was the end result.” He shook his head as he searched Jessie’s face. “I didn’t believe him. I made him prove it…and he did. He compared our DNA. You can’t fight science…”

“Oh God…Kai.” Jessie leaned over to wrap her arms around his blanketed body. She couldn’t imagine finding out that her entire childhood was a lie. She couldn’t imagine someone telling her that her father was genetically a stranger. Kai sniffled as she held him. “I’m so sorry. That’s…that’s awful.” Pulling back, she stroked his cheek. His eyes were moist as he watched her.

“The worst part…the absolute worst part…is they all knew.” He shrugged. “My parents have known since I was young. My mom somehow knew since I was born. And they all lied to me. They all let me believe…” His eyes brightened with rage, and he turned his head from her.

Jessie calmly returned his gaze to her. Soothingly rubbing her thumb against his skin, she told him, “You were a child, Kai. They probably didn’t want to upset you like that at such a young age.”

Kai dropped his gaze. “It doesn’t feel any easier now.” He peeked back up at her. “And they sent me to…to my real father, so he could tell me.” He shook his head, and a tear finally dropped to his cheek, around her fingers. “After all this time, they still couldn’t do it.” Bringing his hand out from under the blankets, he pointed across the room to the mountain range he’d left behind this morning. “They sent me to a stranger and let him rip my life apart.” He dropped his hand, defeated. “Why would they do that?”