Jamaica Dreaming (Caribbean Heat) (12 page)

“Tell me what you’re feeling. Tell me how you want me.”

“Don’t.” she whispered. “Don’t make me. Please.”

“Tell me. Since you don’t want me to have your body, let me at least have that.”

She looked into his eyes and something passed between them that touched his core.

“When you look at me like you’re doing now…”

Her voice was so low he had to lean in to hear her. “Yes?”

“It’s like you’re seeing inside me, you’re seeing the real me, all of me. I get this whooshing in my ears and I can’t see, or hear, or think of anybody or anything else. It’s like it’s only you and me in the world and I’m all gooey and hot inside.”

“Do you want me?”

“Yes.” It came out as a half–groan, half–sob. “I do. I want you so much I’m…I’m wet. I want you to touch me so much it’s like this huge burning ache.”

“Let me do it. Let me pleasure you. I don’t have to put myself inside you.” Though it was the one thing in the world he wanted most to do.

She started to cry, great heaving sobs that came from somewhere deep within her and shook her whole body.

“Shush, shush.” He pulled her in to him. “Baby, don’t cry. Please. What’s wrong?” He stroked her soft, springy hair and held her close. “You’re breaking my heart. Why’re you crying?”

At this, she sobbed louder. Sebastian could have cried, too. The idea that, after wanting her for so long, he wouldn’t get her, desolated him. “You know,” he murmured into her hair. “I expected you to end the night in my arms, but crying out in passion, not, you know, weeping as if someone had just died.”

She sighed. “I’m sorry. I’m saying that to you a lot, aren’t I?”

“Yes, I’m going to start fining you a kiss every time you do it.” He didn’t have a handkerchief on him so he used the ends of his shirt to wipe her face. Some women carried off crying well, but Julissa’s eyes and lips were puffy and her nose was running.

“Wait here.” He went to the guest bathroom and grabbed a handful of cotton–soft tissues. He waited for her to blow her nose and compose herself.

“Guess it’s time I take you back to Strawberry Hill, huh?”

“Yes, but I want to thank you for a lovely dinner. It was wonderful! You’re…you’re not mad at me because I….”

“Never. Well, maybe.” He smiled to lessen any sting. “But, if you’re not mad at me for my proposal, I won’t be mad at you for rejecting it.”
And for rejecting me.

“You don’t know how much I wish I didn’t have to.” The words seemed to startle her even more than they did him because she brought her hand to her mouth and looked at him in dismay. Sebastian didn’t say anything and pretended to ignore what she’d said. The knowledge that she wanted him was like music in his heart. He didn’t let Julissa see any of what he was feeling though, keeping his face slightly averted from hers.

Later, at the door to her villa, she turned to tell him ‘good–night.’ He leaned in for what he’d thought would be a chaste kiss but, instead, her lips sought his. His arousal was immediate but, as quickly as the kiss had started, it was over. She fumbled with the key, and fled inside. Sebastian leaned his forehead against the door and pressed his palms flat against the cool wood. “Julissa, come back,” he wanted to shout. Instead, he stood there a moment more before walking slowly back to the parking lot. Not since his first high school crush had he felt like this, giddy with dread and excitement, up among the clouds one minute and falling without a parachute the next.

Julissa woke the next morning to the sound of Beyoncé’s
Girls Rule the World
in her ear. Blast. She’d forgotten to turn her cell off when she went to bed. At any other time, she’d have been glad to hear from Deej but, she checked the time as she picked up the phone, it was nine o’clock. She’d had slightly less than six hours of sleep.

“Hey, Deej,” she grumbled into the phone. “Why are you up so early on a Saturday?”

“Wanted to make sure I caught you before you went out.” Deej’s cheery voice sounded as if she’d gotten in her full eight hours and woken bright–eyed and bushy–tailed. “Earle called me last night.”

“Oh?” Julissa was instantly wary. Although Earle and Deej got on well, they were not in the habit of calling each other. In fact, Julissa had gotten the impression her best friend didn’t really approve of her fiancé. Deej had never come straight out and said so but, every now and then, she’d let drop some little hint that revealed she wasn’t exactly his biggest fan. Julissa had called her on it once, but Deej denied it. Earle, on the other hand, didn’t seem to have noticed anything and Julissa had never mentioned it to him.

“He was trying to pick my mouth,” Deej said.

Julissa knew the expression. It was one of dozens Deej had picked up from her grandmother during childhood summers spent in a small Georgia town.

“What about?”

“He didn’t come right out and say, but it’s clear he’s more than a bit worried about what you’re getting up to down there.”

“‘Getting up to’? What do you mean? What did you say?”

“Nothing. I don’t know nothing so there’s nothing I can tell him. Is that why you’re not really telling me anything? So I can’t pass it on to him? You know, I’d never do that.”

“I know, Deej. Of course, I do. There’s nothing to tell, really. Hey, I was on tv yesterday with the parents of a twelve year–old who’s gone missing. They thought it might generate more publicity if I joined the appeal.”

“That’s great, Julissa, really, but I’ve gotta tell you, Earle’s not the only one getting the feeling you’re holding out on him. He says he’s planning to visit you next week, by the way.”

“He can’t.” Julissa felt instantly irritated. “I told him not to.”

“Guess he’s coming to make sure ain’t no other hog sniffing around his woodpile.”

Julissa stifled a snort at the image of a hog–headed Sebastian. “There’s nothing like that. You’ve got to tell him, Deej. You know, I haven’t had an attack in days, Deej. Not even a tiny one. I feel good, but I need more me time here.”

“He’s not coming to take you back. He said he just wants to spend a long weekend with you. I guess he misses you.”

“I’m only away for three weeks. It’s not like it’s forever.”

“I know but, Jules?”

“Yes?”

“From all I’ve heard Jamaica is a mad romantic island. It’s kinda strange how you don’t want Earle to come.”

Julissa turned over on her back and stared up at the ceiling. “It’s not that, I just need some time to myself. Away from everybody always hovering over me. I’m breathing free here. I’m getting back to being me. Figuring out what I want to do without everybody’s voices in my head.”

“You’re not thinking about giving up singing again?”

“See, that right there is what I mean. I’m thinking about everything but I can’t do that clearly if y’all are going to keep telling me what I should be doing.”

Deej sighed. “All right, girlfriend. I get you. I know it’s been tough since The Event but Earle’s got his mind made up. I don’t think anything I can say will stop him.”

It was Julissa’s turn to sigh. That was probably true. Earle could sometimes be the most bull–headed of men.

“You still haven’t really told me anything about Mr. Chung. Is there anything I should know?”

“He’s got two children and he owns a coffee farm.” And he’s sinfully sexy and I want him so much it hurts. But she wasn’t ready to tell Deej that, not yet. Maybe not till they were both grey–haired grannies sitting in their rocking chairs, swapping stories of their conquests.

“That’s all? Lord, and here I’ve been imagining some kind of Ken Watanabe look–alike.”

“Watanabe’s Japanese.”

“You know what I mean. So, what does he look like?”

“Tall and Chinese. Well, mixed really. His mom’s black.”

“Maybe you should take a picture and email it to me because you’re not really being very descriptive.”

Julissa chuckled. “What do you want me to tell the man? ‘I have a friend who wants to see what you look like?’ No way!”

“Think it would be kinda weird?”

“Definitely.” And, even if she
did
take a picture, she certainly wasn’t going to email it anywhere. Sebastian was her delicious secret for now.

“Okay, you’ve got a point. So, what are you doing today?”

“Going to the horseraces with Mr. Chung and his family.” She said it that way on purpose. Deej would probably think wife and kids.

“Oh.” Deej had a cat named Sparkles but she didn’t care for larger animals. “Well, have a good time, then.”

They rang off with Deej promising to try talking Earle out of visiting.

Why didn’t she want Earle to come? Yes, Jamaica was an island paradise, apparently created specifically for romance, but what she’d told Deej was true. She felt good here, away from everyone’s expectations and demands. And then, too, there was the complication of Sebastian. A complication that could get worse any time Earle landed on the island.

Her cell was ringing as she stepped out of the shower a little while later. She checked the Caller ID. Sebastian. Julissa felt a girlish thrill of pleasure.

“Hey, how’s everything?” He sounded cautious. She wondered if that was because he had his children with him or because of what had happened or, rather,
not
happened last night.

“I’m great even though I was woken too early.”

“Your fiancé?” His tone showed he’d snapped into high alert.

“No.” She shouldn’t have wanted to reassure him that it wasn’t Earle, but, she did, God help her. “It was my sister–friend, Deborah.”

“Is she planning on coming down, too?”

Julissa laughed. “Actually, I was just explaining that being away is really feeling good to me.”

“That’s what I like to hear.” His voice warmed. “I called Winston moments ago and he said, the police have had a lot of leads on Joyce but, so far, none of them have panned out. I’ve got his number for you, and the Parchments’s as well, if you still want to talk to them.”

“I don’t want to bother them, though.”

“I’m sure they wouldn’t think of you as a bother. Winston said they really like you and they appreciate what you did.”

Julissa grabbed a pen and the hotel’s complimentary notepad and wrote down both numbers to put into her cellphone.

“By the way, have you had breakfast?”

“Not yet.” She wasn’t particularly hungry either.

“The kids are begging me to take them to the Roti House before the races. Would you like to come? I can pick you up in a few minutes.”

“Sure. I’d like that. What’s a roti?”

He explained that it was an East Indian food, basically curried meat or shellfish of some kind wrapped in a thin pastry shell. Like fajitas, but different. His children thought the Roti House made the best ones in Jamaica.

“Can’t wait,” Julissa said, eager to try something new.

About an hour later, Sebastian strode into the Reception area to meet her.

He wore white slacks and a black linen shirt that showed off his golden skin and jet–black hair. Julissa tried to quell her ridiculous pleasure at the sight of him but couldn’t bring her face under control. Her wide smile stretched from ear to ear.

“Hi. You look stunning.” He bent and kissed her cheek. “Ready?”

“I am.” His scent of mingled wood smoke, amber, and green grass intoxicated her. “Your children are in the car?”

He grabbed her hand and slipped it into the crook of his arm. “Yes. They’re very interested in my love life, or, rather, my lack of one, but I wanted to see you first.” His voice dropped as he sent her a lingering look that turned her insides to mush. “I wanted to kiss you out of their sight. Especially, if you clouted me one.” He grinned and Julissa grinned back, warm and happy, and totally enjoying how he’d taken possession of her.

“All right, here she is.” He opened the door to his Mercedes with a ceremonial flourish and leaned in to give the two teenagers in the back a stern stare. “Remember, this family doesn’t do cannibalism.” He ushered Julissa into the car to the sound of their groans.

“Hi.” Julissa turned around to greet them and they all shook hands solemnly. The girl was a pale chocolate brown and had a mass of black hair which she wore in two thick braids, squaw style. Her brother was taller than her by a couple of inches and had inherited his father’s complexion and looks. His hair was cropped close to his scalp in the front but had been allowed to grow into long tendrils at the back.

“Tracy and Sean. I guess you can figure out which is which.”

His daughter rolled her eyes while Sean grinned.

“All right, so, we’re off.” Sebastian got in on his side and, soon, the countryside was a blur outside Julissa’s window.

“Did you call the Parchments?” Sebastian asked giving her a little smile as if to say, “relax.”

She wished she could but she was thinking
this is huge. I’m meeting his children. He wanted them to know me. How cool is that!

“I called them after I hung up from you,” she said, struggling not to let anything of what she was feeling show in her voice. “There’s nothing new, but I told them I’d come visit them tomorrow.”