Jamaica Dreaming (Caribbean Heat) (20 page)

“Do you prefer Kingston?”

“Two different vibes but, yeah, I guess you could say I prefer Kingston. It’s closer to home.”

“What? I thought you were from Kingston.”

“No. I’m from the village of Thomas Christian Gap in the Blue Mountains.”

“What a strange name!” Julissa exclaimed.

“It’s the name of the man who founded it back in the 1800s. When slavery ended, he took his family and some of the other people from the old estate where he used to work, and they cut down the bush and made a new home for themselves. They still worked on the estate, though. Some of it is Sebastian’s land, now.”

Julissa had been going to ask her that, if her village was anywhere close to Sebastian’s coffee plantation. During his absence she’d found that she liked saying his name out loud or listening to Lori talk about him.

“Were the people from whom he bought it descendants of slave–owners?”

“Oh no, it’s changed hands a few times since then. I think that particular family bought it after WWII. Got it for a song I heard, but they sold it to Sebastian real dear.” Lori pulled into a wide parking lot that was already half–filled with cars and they got out. A paved walkway lined by coconut trees led to a big grassy area where scores of people were sitting or standing around, chatting. A few small white tents were scattered here and there in case it rained.

“Come on, they’ve set up a room for you over here.” Lori led them off the main path to a small wooden building where a refreshment table was set up. Jullisa sank down on one of the benches, kicked off her high heels and put her feet up.

“Would you like a drink?” Earle asked her.

She shook her head. “No, just a few minutes alone, please. Do you mind?” She saw surprised annoyance flash across his face, but she was beyond caring. If she needed some time before her concert, then that was what she needed, and she wasn’t going to apologize for stating her needs.

Lori glanced between the two of them. “I’ll be right outside,” she said to Julissa. “Yell if you need anything.”

“I will.” Julissa looked pointedly at Earle.

“All right, I’ll go, but you and I have some talking to do.”

Julissa sighed. “You’re right,” she said, softly. “We do.” She’d told him not to come to the island, that she needed time alone, but he’d come anyway and then started behaving as if he were the boss of her. She couldn’t say this was completely atypical behavior, he
did
have a control streak, but it seemed to have taken her this trip to Jamaica to bring it out full–blown and she didn’t like it. She didn’t like it one little bit. If he thought marriage was going to give him an even greater right to carry on this way then she needed to know asap.

Earle looked slightly taken aback but, before he could say anything else, she leaned back against the bench arm and closed her eyes. At first, there was no sound in the room and then she heard him cross over to the door. It clicked shut behind him. Julissa cracked her eyelids open to take a peep. Yes, he had gone. She was alone in the little room.

Julissa closed her eyes again and concentrated on calming herself, on long, slow, deep breaths. Starting from her feet, she worked her way up, loosening the tension in all her muscles. Unbidden, the image of Sebastian bursting into the room earlier that afternoon came to her mind. She didn’t think she’d ever been happier to see anyone. She’d wanted to leap into his arms but decorum and her sense of obligation to Earle held her back. Julissa tried to release the image, to think of nothing, but Sebastian kept intruding and finally she caved in, and let her memories of him run through her mind. The first time she’d seen him, how he’d looked at the helm of his boat, the feel of his mouth on hers, his salt–kissed scent on Pigeon Island. She remembered the sinking feeling of loss and abandonment when Carly told her he’d left Kingston to go to the Blue Mountains. How she’d missed him!

Earle’s arrival had meant she’d had no time to prepare herself for the separation from Sebastian. No time to herself to just think things over and try to understand the feelings roiling inside her for a man she’d only just met. And, perhaps because of that, she was experiencing Earle’s presence as a burden. He’d come at the very worst time. She’d been too unsettled to welcome him properly or, even, to feel at ease. Just when she’d needed her solitude the most, Earle took it from her. It made her jittery. Finally, the stress became too much and it brought on another panic attack. If she’d called Kathleen and explained what was happening to her she felt sure that was what the therapist would say, so she hadn’t called.

Julissa had come to Jamaica to try and reclaim herself and her independence. Calling Kathleen the minute she had a problem would undermine whatever she’d achieved. Not that she’d achieved much. Not unless you counted falling in love with one man while engaged to another as an achievement.

Julissa squirmed uncomfortably, but it was true. She couldn’t hide the truth from herself any longer. She was in love with Sebastian Chung, fiercely, passionately, wildly in love. How did that song they’d danced to at the club in Kingston go? That was exactly how she’d felt from the minute she’d heard he’d left for his coffee estate. She missed him to the bone, to her very marrow. But, if you already have a fiancé, falling in love with another man is an impossible complication. And, now, Earle was here and, on top of everything else, she’d had the worst panic attack yet.

Somebody rapped twice on the door and Julissa’ eyes flew open.

“Yes?”

“It’s me, Sebastian.”

As if she wouldn’t know his voice, warm and rich, like a coffee liqueur on the rocks. “Come in.” She swung her feet to the floor and smoothed her expression. Even so, a little flame flickered in the pit of her stomach as he walked in. Julissa’s breath caught in her throat. His black linen shirt, open at his throat, emphasized his olive coloring. His thick black hair was pulled back into a short ponytail that brought out the sharp planes and angles of his face.

“Hey,” Julissa said, barely managing to squeeze it out.

“Hey, yourself.” He gave her a warm smile, his eyes softening as he looked at her. “It’s almost time to start. Carly’s gone up to the stage to give her spiel. Are you ready?” He walked further into the room as Earle entered behind him.

Julissa heaved a deep sigh. “As ready as I’ll ever be.” She wanted to tell Sebastian how happy he’d made her by being there but all she said was, “I appreciate your being here.” She sounded stiff and formal even to her own ears, but what else could she say with Earle standing there? She needed to pull herself together and figure out what she was going to do with this situation.

“He who pays the piper and calls the tune wants to make sure he gets his money’s worth,” Earle interjected, interrupting her thoughts and giving Sebastian a bland look.

Sebastian’s face remained neutral but a nerve twitched at his temple. “Is there anything I can get you before you go on stage?” he asked Julissa.

“No, thanks. I’m fine.” Julissa got to her feet and crossed to a mirror on the other side of the room. Digging into her handbag, she pulled out her make–up bag to re–apply her lipstick and the shimmering green eye–shadow she loved. Her hair had flattened at the back but a few picks with her Afro comb pulled it back out again. The mirror wasn’t full–length but a glance down at herself showed nothing amiss.

“You look beautiful,” Sebastian said, reassuringly.

“Like a star, as I told you before we left the house,” Earle reminded her.

It was an effort for Julissa to keep herself from breaking into an amused grin. Were they going to enter into some kind of who–can–give–her–the–best–compliment competition?

“Shall we go, then?” And, just as if Earle wasn’t there, Sebastian took her hand in his and deposited it in the crook of his arm. Earle was just about to do the same when he realized the three of them couldn’t go through the door abreast. He had to wait until they were on the path before catching up to them and grabbing hold of Julissa’s other hand. Julissa sighed inwardly. Not a competition then, more like a tug of war between two dogs, with her as the bone. The image of both Sebastian and Earle with furry bodies attached to their human heads made her smile. She immediately pictured Sebastian as a sleek but dangerous Saluki. Earle, she tried to imagine as a German Shepherd, but he kept turning into a Chihuahua. She giggled to herself and both men looked at her curiously.

“All right?” Sebastian murmured.

“Yes, I am.”

His voice dropped even lower. “You’re going to knock Ochie off its feet.”

It warmed Sebastian’s heart to see how she glowed at this. Near the stage, the two men relinquished their hold on her and she climbed up the steps just as Carly was finishing her introduction.

As she took the mike, a chill weakness attacked Julissa’s knees. She pushed back against it but felt the beginnings of panic as she looked into the audience’s upturned faces. Just then she saw a movement, Sebastian was moving into the crowd directly in front of the stage. Sensing her eyes on him, he turned and smiled at her. Her relief was like warm honey in her soul. She smiled back at him. Everything was going to be all right.

Troy played the opening bars to
High Moon
. Julissa took a deep breath, opened her mouth and sang. The people lapped it up, clapping wildly and cheering her on after each song, but it was Sebastian to whom her gaze returned again and again. Earle usually stayed behind–stage when he came to her concerts but Sebastian had put himself where she could see him. By standing there in front of her, he was telling her “I’m here. It’s okay. You’re okay.” He’d understood, before she’d even realized it herself, that she needed the reassurance of his presence.

On the way to Sebastian’s guesthouse after the concert, Julissa let her head fall back on the headrest and closed her eyes. She was exhausted but she felt good, too. The concert had gone well, the people liked her, and Sebastian had kissed her after the concert. Not a big kiss, not like on Pigeon Island, just a brief brush of his lips against her cheek and a murmured ‘you were fabulous,’ but she couldn’t get it out of her mind. She felt all giggly and buttery inside.

“I guess you’re planning to go ahead with the third concert now,” Earle said, from the backseat. Julissa was grateful he hadn’t seen the kiss. She didn’t want any drama that night.

“I am.” Julissa didn’t open her eyes.

“Maybe I should stay for that. I can ring Jonas and see if they can spare me for another week.”

Julissa didn’t say anything. Suddenly, she had the strange feeling that there was something she was forgetting, something important, but she couldn’t pin it down.

“Jullisa, don’t you think that’s a good idea?” Surely the fear she heard in his voice was just a product of her imagination. What could frighten Earle?

“No,” she said, and shocked herself because that wasn’t what she was going to say. She was going to ask him if something was wrong, if he had something to tell her. But ‘no’ was the truth. She
didn’t
think it was a good idea.

“But, in case you have another attack, I should be here for you.”

“You were here for the last one and I don’t really recall you being that great a help.” It was brutal, but it was the truth.

“Julissa! I don’t know how you can say that. Who was with you at the hospital? I spent the night there with you.”

Julissa rubbed her forehead and sat up. This wasn’t the conversation she wanted to be having at, she glanced at the car’s clock, twelve o’clock at night. Lori had both hands on the wheel and her gaze was glued to the road as she studiously ignored the conversation. She looked so stiff, Jullisa was tempted to poke her but, if they both burst out laughing, it would just make Earle angry.

“I’m fine now, Earle, really. I can feel it. And I’ve got people around in case I do need help.”

“You mean you’ve got Sebastian Chung around, that’s what you mean.”

“Why are you trying to pick a fight?”

“I’m not trying to pick any fight. We’ll discuss it later.”

Julissa sighed. She didn’t want to discuss whatever it was, at all. To have an intelligent discussion she’d have to understand ‘it’ and she wasn’t sure she did.

She leaned back on the headrest again and must have dozed off because, the next thing she knew, Lori was shaking her shoulders.

“We’re here,” Earle said, holding her door open.

She said ‘good–night’ to Lori and followed her fiancé into the house. Through the trees she could see that the main house was still dark. They’d left Sebastian behind at Turtle Park talking to Carly and a hotelier who had expressed interest in helping the Ananda Alert. The woman had said that Jullisa’s version of
Angelitos Negros
had moved her to want to help and Julissa was thrilled to know she was making a difference.

Lori honked the Montero’s horn in ‘good–bye’ as she made a U–turn and shot back down the driveway to go pick up her boss. Julissa guessed the girl was glad to get away from them. The tension was thick enough to throw a solid punch. Earle managed to hold his peace long enough to pour himself a drink from the liquor cabinet. Julissa headed to the stairs, hoping to make it to the top before he realized she hadn’t entered the living room behind him.

“Julissa.”

She froze and groaned, inwardly.