Jane's Surrender (Hard World Tour #2) (22 page)

I hated it.

I loved it.

The stupid man just kept confusing me.

“
He will have something to live for, and he will do anything to get his daughter back.” He came into the room and sat next to Jer, his eyes not once leaving mine.

“
Logan was a drug addict for years though,” Bella said without any heat or judgment in her words. “Are you sure he has it in him?” She was genuinely worried about him, and I had to admit that surprised me.

“
Yes, he used to be my friend, and I know some things about him you don’t. But trust me when I say he will do anything for his baby girl. Anything. I expect him to be out in a few months. Obviously, he won’t get her at once, but it would be a start for him.”

“
But it means we need to stay married, Drake.”

His eyes held mine, and he had this expression about him that I couldn't decipher, which was driving me crazy.

“
I’m aware of that, beautiful.” That nickname. He kept on calling me that no matter how often I asked him to stop. He always just laughed and kept on doing it; the damn bastard knew what it reminded me of.

Our night back in Vegas all that time ago.

I felt the familiar tingle in my body, and the hotness, when I remembered his touches and how he made sure to make my first time memorable. I noticed his eyes were filled with heat, desire, and possessiveness.

I shook my head and broke eye contact. I really wish my body didn't have some kind of ‘think about the sex’ signal every damn time he was close to me.

“
But the little girl…what’s her name?” It was important to know names. In foster care, no one gave a crap about mine, and I wouldn't do the same to this little human being.

“
Hope.” The name was fitting; she could be Logan’s hope.

“
Take her.” Ariel’s voice came out of nowhere, because she had been silent all this time. Well, figures.

Logan and Ariel had a complicated relationship. Love or desire never existed between them, but he was a legend when it came to the keyboard. She used to watch videos of him, play his music, and had his posters all over her walls. She was so eager to meet him, but by the point she did, he was already heavily into drugs.

Needless to say, her image of him shattered, but she still had a sweet spot for him. Like her concern for him back at Bella’s place a few months ago. “I’ll help you.” She stood up, came closer to me, and looked me in the eyes with pleading. “We can all stay at my ranch. She needs someone to care, Jane. She’s alone and scared.” Her hand rested on her stomach and she gulped. She was pregnant herself, so obviously the idea of some baby who was alone was making her weak and tearful.

“
Ariel, but what if—”

“
He will come for her. Don’t worry.”

She had real confidence in Logan, but why?

“
That’s not what I’m worried about!” I shouted, because they all didn't seem to get it. “What if I fall in love with her, accept her as mine, and then Logan decides to take her back? What if he doesn’t, and then foster care would take her? It would be me with the broken heart, and possibly her.” My voice hitched, and I knew I was close to tears. This conversation was over for me. I took a deep breath. “I’ll take her, but you make damn sure Logan makes it.” With those words, I left the room, hearing in the background the girls and Jeremy calling after me, but I didn't care.

I just ran.

This situation spoke of future heartache for me, but I knew there was no power in the world that could have stopped me from taking this girl into my home and giving her the protection she needed.

Before I knew it, my legs took me to the small studio that we used to rehearse in and I took a deep breath. I sat down at the piano and looked at the keyboard.

Drums were my love, my instrument, and there was nothing like playing them during a performance. They took everything from you, but the sound they made was worth it. The power that rushed through me with every hit on parts, the vibration that came from it, so many little details that made noises. It took a lifetime to discover drums and what they could do; the instrument was never boring.

Yes, the drums were my first friends.

But the piano?

The piano was different. It was my friend, not my best friend like it was to Ariel, but my friend that allowed me to create new music for our band and cry my heart out.

If I felt like crying, I had the piano.

If I was in pain, I had the piano.

If I was happy, I had the drums.

If I wanted a rush of adrenaline, power, and euphoria, I had drums.

But oddly enough, today, none of them could soothe me, because I simply had no idea about the emotions that played in my mind.

But the music inside me spoke, so I had to play.

It wasn't a request from within; it was a must.

Drake

My heart almost broke from the devastating pain I saw on my sweet girl’s face, and I wanted nothing more than to hug her and take her away from it. Take her mind away from here. But as much as I wanted it, I knew she wouldn’t welcome it. Not from me anyway. She had been running around like crazy, trying to avoid me, trying to pretend I didn't exist. That our marriage didn't exist.

After her last gift to me, she did her best to ignore me, and I decided not to push her much, because it affected her work. The last thing I wanted was to make her nervous during the tour.

Besides that one moment we had after seeing each other for the first time at the ranch, and when she embraced me after I gave her the puppy, she didn't allow me to touch her. She kept on repeating her request for a divorce, so I had to reassure her somehow.

I didn't want to lose her, which was fucking funny, because maybe I didn’t have her in the first place.

I tried to find her first when she ran away from me in Vegas. Then I tried to ask her to meet me, but she refused. I tried phone calls, but that was a dead end.

I tried fucking everything, but she seemed convinced our marriage was a mistake.

“
I’ll talk to her,” Ariel said, put her hand back on her stomach, and was about to stand up, when I stopped her gently with my hand.

“
Let me?”

She hesitated for a second, but nodded. No one else voiced an objection. Not that I would have listened to them anyway. Without saying anything else, I slowly made my way to the studio, which was about five minutes away from the bus. For some reason, I had no doubt she was there; she needed her music when she was upset.

I’ve learned a lot of things about her in recent months. She liked her coffee with milk and sugar. She tended to lose her smile when no one was looking. She used music to heal her soul and drums to enjoy her happiness.

How she always followed Jeremy with her eyes anytime he was in the room, and how that made me want to smash his head on the table.

I opened the door carefully to the studio, and sure enough, she was there sitting at the piano, playing a song I didn’t recognize.

She was creating then. I closed the door quietly, and she didn't even sense I was in the room. Her eyes were closed, her head back, her fingers moving effortlessly on the keyboard, and her spine was straight.

God, but she was beautiful. I couldn't help but stare at her, appreciate everything about her. My cock stirred inside my pants, and I mentally had to ask it to downplay its game. My body’s reaction was a constant thing in her presence, and given the fact I went without for more than two years, that one night with her wasn't enough at all. I know I could have gotten laid frequently in this time. She pushed me enough, and made it clear she didn't want me. But I didn't want to, or couldn't for that matter. Other women held no interest for me or my dick. Did I miss sex? Fuck, yes, I did. But only with her. Once you had that special sex that makes you dumb and fall hard for the woman you’re with, normal sex with some stranger didn’t have the appeal anymore.

“
I know you’re here,” she said in her melodic, soft voice that was slightly raspy, as though she was keeping tears at bay or had cried some before. Her words made me pause, because usually when I was in close proximity to her, she had a rigid back, and she couldn't wait to get away from me.

“
And you are still here? Shocking,” I teased, and her chuckle sounded real, but she still had her back to me, and this wouldn't do. I wanted to see those damn expressive eyes of hers, and get to know what the hell was going on inside her pretty head. I walked around and stood at the end of the piano in front of her, leaning on the lid prop, where my eyes held hers. They were slightly red, but still strikingly beautiful. Like milky chocolate. But they were a bit sad, even though a twinkle of humor was playing in them.

“
I figured I’ll give you a break.” My mouth lifted in a smile, but then she changed the subject abruptly.

“
Do you think it’s the right thing? What will happen with our marriage?” Wasn't that the million-dollar question? “You promised me a divorce, and now you are using Logan’s situation—” Of course, she would reach that conclusion.

“
Jane, I promised you a divorce at the end of the tour, and I meant it. Even though it’s the last thing I want, I’ll give it to you if that’s really what you want.” My voice became softer, and something like remorse flashed in her eyes. “But this situation with Hope is serious, and I wouldn't forgive myself if we didn't take care of her. There are no other candidates—”

“
What about Jimmy and Meg? They’ve been married for like ten years and have four kids.” She was talking about one of Logan’s former band members, who used to be his best friend until his addiction. “She is a sweetheart. I’m sure they wouldn't have minded another kid.” My innocent-in-so-many-ways angel really had no idea about people.

“
Jimmy cheated on Meg a few years back.” Her eyes widened, and I continued, “It was at one of Logan’s parties. Jimmy got high, and next thing he knew, he woke up with a woman. Meg took the kids away, but then decided to come back. Only if Logan was out of the band.”

“
And they agreed to this just like that?” She snapped her fingers, and there was annoyance in her voice, probably justified. Even though Bella had issues, they never gave up on her and fought for her. Plus, when you were a band, you shared a special bond that no one was supposed to break. “I mean I get it she was angry, but it wasn’t like Logan put Jimmy’s dick into another woman.” I had to raise my brows at her words, because she rarely swore or said inappropriate things.

At least in front of me.

Shy biker chick.

How was it possible not to love her? No wonder I was a smitten fool when it came to her.

Her eyes held a question, and I understood I zoned out to my thoughts a bit too long and seemed like I was ignoring her.

Couldn't have that.

“
Logan was going off the rails. He didn't show up for rehearsals, with constant alcohol, drugs, and sex; he wasn't good to perform and got in fights with the press. The band was having a hard time, and Jimmy’s incident was the last straw. Not to mention Jimmy was a front vocalist. The choice between him and Logan was pretty much predictable.” Not that I agreed with it. With all the talk about how Death Riders were childhood friends and how they all gave up on Logan and didn't give two shits about him, it didn't really speak friends in my book.

“
No one is more valuable than the other in music. We are all part of something bigger.” Her eyes flashed in anger, but then she was back to the subject that started it all. “Still, they were good people, right? Wouldn't they want to help the kid?”

“
They refused; they were our first choice. But Jane, Logan will make it, and we just have to keep an eye on her for a little while. You’ll be free of me.” Part of me fucking hurt, because she wanted to get away from me that much, but I couldn't hold her forever. I understood she wasn't in love with me, but she didn't even give me a chance to woo her.

“
Where will we live?”

“
I have a house in Montana, near the ranch of Ariel’s parents actually.” Her eyes widened in surprise. “After the tour is done, we can go there and wait ‘til Logan gets better. Then we can have the divorce you wish for so much. But Hope…I can’t lose her. He used to be one of my closest friends.” And I would be damned if I let his daughter live with someone else.