Jane's Surrender (Hard World Tour #2) (34 page)

The only thing I needed was for her to realize and admit I was the one for her.

But I felt hopeful.

Because my girl put me first today.

She leaned back, kissed me softly on the lips, and whispered against my mouth, “Let’s go back to bed where we can make love.” Her voice was shy, but I didn't miss how she gasped when I moved my hips forward, essentially pushing my hard-on against her pussy.

So uninhibited in bed, yet so shy outside of it.

That thought made me smile.

“
With pleasure.”

And for the rest of the night, we made sweet, sweet love and lost ourselves in each other.

Bella

“
I panicked today.” My whisper was exceptionally loud in the silent hotel room Ryan booked for us again. He had a feeling Drake and Jane wanted some privacy.

We lay in bed, my head on his shoulder, and his hand slowly caressed my back. This was my favorite part of the day, where we could both lie in each other’s arms. I loved making love with my man, but more importantly, I loved to know my man would always be there with me.

“
I know,” he whispered back in my hair and scrubbed his chin over my head.

“
Just for a few moments there.” He didn't say anything and my hand made small circles on his chest. “Sometimes I feel guilty, because he isn't here.”

“
I know that too.” His voice was unsure though, and by the reaction of his body, I knew he was worried for me, and what it might mean for us. I raised my head and looked into his eyes.

“
I was never this happy in my life.” His eyes changed, giving me a hot look, but tenderness and gentleness was there as well. “This feeling of me and you being together…I never knew love could feel like this. All-consuming, passionate, and good. So good.” Because he knew about my childhood and parents, he didn't need an explanation on the good part. He understood what I meant. “And it makes me guilty, because how can I be this happy, when my brother is gone?” He opened his mouth to say something, but I didn't let him. “Those are the thoughts that come to me sometimes. Then I remember my brother and how much he loved me, you, and Megan. How much he would have loved his son.”

My voice hitched a little, but I continued, “And I know he wouldn't want me to feel guilty. He would have been happy for me, and this helps.” I leaned forward and gave him a long, soft kiss on the lips. When I leaned back, his hands touched my face and he held me close.

“
I love you too. It’s okay. We’re together, right? I’ll always be with you. You can get scared. Just don’t run away from me, and I promise all your demons will have no power against us.” His words made me smile, and a part of my heart felt like soaring.

Thank you, Nicky.

Because I knew deep down in my soul that my brother was my guardian angel, and Ryan and this feeling of love was his last gift to me.

The best gift.

Logan

Daughter.

I had a daughter.

She was beautiful.

Little angel.

It was impossible that my fucked-up self could have created something as beautiful as she was.

Yet she was mine.

And the moment she needed me the most, I wasn't there.

The thought made me want to punch something or get drunk again.

Both of them were impossible, so I just had to settle for hatred and anger at myself.

Everyone used to know me as this legend. I was legendary with my band.

My band.

My band was no more, just people who kicked me out, somebody I used to know.

It was my fault. I didn't blame them.

No matter how much people thought I was a drug addict, and it was true to some extent, I used drugs sometimes, it was the alcohol.

I loved to forget myself in it.

One of the reasons Cyndi left me was the alcohol, one of the reasons everything happened after that one fucked-up night in my life that ruined everything for me.

But there was no one else to blame.

I had nothing to live for, I thought.

Not anymore, I believed.

My little girl, my Hope needed me.

And I would do anything in my power to get the fuck out of rehab and give her a good life.

And someday, I hoped she would forgive me for not being there for her in the first years of her life and for her not having a mother.

I would give everything in my power to her, but never again would she have a mommy, because never again would I love anyone the way I used to love her mom.

Love destroyed me.

And the tiny pieces left of me belonged now to my angel.

Jane

“
Wake up, beautiful.”

Not wanting to do that, I just moved on my side and dug into the covers deeper.

I felt a hand slowly caressing my thigh, while his other hand moved down from my waist to my hips. His touch was soft, almost nonexistent, but it still sent shivers through me.

“
No.” My voice was muffled as I tried to put the pillow over my head, but he took it away from me.

“
We’re going to be late.” His voice held amusement as his lips lightly kissed around my neck. Longingly, I arched my back to give him better access.

“Whatever, it’s too early to wake up.” I didn't even feel like we had slept. He made love to me the entire night after our huge concert in New York, which finished our tour successfully. Everything had gone smoothly, and Jeremy thanked us for our hard work.

Drake and I were in his penthouse, and I knew we had to be somewhere on time. I just couldn't remember where. Not when he made me feel like he did.

Suddenly, he turned me around, pushed me onto my back, and ended up on top of me. His hands caged me in—that made me open my eyes—and we held each other’s gazes. Mine stubborn and his challenging. Then he grinned, leaned down, and gave me a hot, probing kiss with our tongues entwining, and for the life of me, I didn't even care about morning breath.

He let go of my mouth, and ran his lips down my neck and over my collarbone. He paused at my breasts, taking his time to suck on the nipples then down my stomach, which made me arch my back and moan, until finally I felt his hot breath on my opening.

“
It’s never too early for this, is it, beautiful?” he asked hoarsely, while he ran his fingers over the inside of my thighs. Then his hands pushed my legs apart and his hot mouth was on my heat.

He plunged his tongue inside me, going for the win, French kissing me as I closed my eyes in pleasure.

We rarely had sex without him pleasuring me in that way. I knew from some of the stories told to me that many guys were selfish in sex and didn't want to take the time to satisfy their woman in this manner.

That wasn't the case with my man.

He put my pleasure above his.

“
Drake.” It was impossible not to moan and gasp, especially as I felt his fingers sliding inside me and stretching me wide for him. He sucked my clit, licked my pussy with his flattened tongue, and then rose on his knees in front of me before I could come.

“
I need to—” He covered my mouth with his, letting me taste myself on him as his tongue played with mine. He sucked my tongue deep, making me raise my head to meet his kiss, and in one swift motion, he entered me.

I never ceased to be amazed at how much I loved the feel of him inside me, the connection we had, the sensations that made me scream in pleasure.

Our coupling was rough, fast, and hard, so it was no wonder that in few more minutes, I came with a loud cry and Drake followed me with a groan of his own, falling over me while both of us breathed hard.

“
I’ve love your way of waking me up.” My voice was raspy but amused. Drake chuckled into my neck, pushed up, and gazed into my eyes. With a twinkle of humor in his, he gave me a soft peck.

“
Me too.” He moved back and slapped my ass, not hard but enough to make me feel the sting, and I yelped. “Get up; we need to take a shower.” At the mention of a shower, my eyes heated, and he growled, “Not shower with me. We don’t have time, baby. We need to pick up Hope, but before that, we have a meeting with everyone in the restaurant to have breakfast, remember?” That woke me right up and I sat up on the bed, ignoring the fact I was naked.

There was no shyness between us anymore.

“
Hope,” I whispered. He nodded, and I rushed into the shower in the master bathroom, knowing he would use the one in the guest room, since he didn't want to be in the one with me.

While soaping my body with shower gel, I kicked myself mentally for forgetting such important information as picking up Hope from the social worker.

The judge finally gave his permission for her to live with us temporarily under the watchful eyes of social workers, who would come every week to visit and see if everything was fine. Drake’s ranch was near Ariel’s parents’. Together, we had visited it. A big house was surrounded by beautiful and peaceful land with horses and nice people nearby. I couldn't wait to move there and finally relax. As much as I loved touring and our band, I needed to take a break from them.

Drake still had his practice in New York, but he wanted a break for two months so we could adjust to our life with Hope. Then we either planned to travel back and forth, or he would travel alone. I decided to rent out my apartment. It wasn't furnished anyway, and that way it would bring in some money.

We had a press conference, which confirmed we would be taking a break for a year at least, because of Ariel’s pregnancy. A public announcement was made about the pregnancy. She had the support from the fans, but some of the critics made snarky comments. She handled it well though. Her morning sickness had passed, so she was happy. Her parents weren't thrilled she was single, but they were happy and supportive about the baby. She planned to stay with them for a while, so we would have time to see each other.

Bella and Ryan wanted to travel around the world and enjoy some alone time, and who could blame them for that?

Sam and Jeremy still hadn't spoken with each other, and last I heard, he was dating some model. She even showed up once at our concert. She was a beautiful brunette with a killer body, and we all worried about Sam’s reaction. She appeared indifferent, disappeared, and only showed up in the morning. We worried about her, but she never wanted to talk. Even Bella couldn't do anything for her. So we just acted as though the problem wasn't there, but it was hard to miss the tension Jeremy’s dating life provided. Sam never mentioned what she wanted to do in the break year, and no one asked, because she probably would’ve flipped us off.

Our breakfast was our last meeting before the big tour break, a tradition created by Nick, so no one would have ignored it.

After bathing, I quickly blow dried my hair, put on some light makeup, and decided to wear a pencil dress. Although I usually preferred jeans, shirts, and boots, I thought I should look more presentable for our meeting. During my month with Drake, I had experimented with different looks.

He didn't care; he told me I was beautiful to him in anything, so I could do whatever I wanted. The thought that a man would love you no matter what you did with yourself was liberating and amazing; it was hard to describe. I decided to choose the indigo-colored dress that went well with my black heels and showed my body in a nice way. I was spinning in front of the mirror when Drake entered the room and whistled, causing me to turn to him.

He wore black jeans, a blue sweater that emphasized his sapphire eyes, and black loafers. His blond hair was damp, and hung down to his shoulders in straight lines.

Yummy.

My man.

“
Do you look good enough to eat or what?” he teased and came closer to give me a soft kiss on the lips, allowing me to circle his waist with my arms.

“
You don’t look so bad yourself, Mr. Jackson.”

He smiled and put his hand on my back and moved us from side to side. “No? Well, thank you, Mrs. Jackson.” He suddenly caressed my face and looked deep into my eyes, and for the first time, I noticed he appeared worried. “Are you okay about today?”