Jane's Surrender (Hard World Tour #2) (39 page)

Bella stood up and flashed us a smile. “I need to go to the bathroom,” she said and left. It was clear she was giving us a minute.

“So,” I started, and Ariel folded her arms and raised her brow. Her move made me notice her slightly rounded stomach; she must be in her third month by now. Other than the bump, there were no traces of her pregnancy, and she looked good, but dark circles were under her eyes, which meant her insomnia was back.

I experienced a tug in my heart, a painful one, at seeing her like this, and it made me wonder how I would have looked with my baby still inside me. How would it feel to know life was slowly growing inside you, a part of you, and was the result of a loving act between you and another human being?

Without thinking, my hand was on my belly, and I gasped.

Ariel was instantly by my side. “Sorry, honey, I just didn't think.” She hugged me close, and then whispered, “I’m so sorry about your baby.” Her comfort felt good, but I would have this pang of sadness always. I cried so much during those weeks that the tears weren't coming, and I knew I had to move on. I would always be sad when I saw pregnant ladies, but it wasn't fair to let it define me.

I gave her a sad smile, put my hand above hers on the table, and squeezed it. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I was a dick.”

She snorted and shook her head. “And I was bitchy just now.”

With a shaky breath, I touched her bump. “How is the baby?”

She patted herself slightly and my hand along with it. “Good. No movement yet. By the way, since we are best friends again, you’re going to be the godmother.”

I needed a minute to process the information she was giving me. “Say what?”

She rolled her eyes. “Yeah, all of a sudden, my parents became religious and decided we need to do that.”

That made me blink. “Really?”

“
Yeah, believe me. I was surprised with all this, too.”

“
And you will go with it?”

“
They’ve asked me to do this, and they’ve been so supportive over the baby that I don’t see why not.” She shrugged. “I don’t think it’s a bad thing. Do you?” she asked.

“
No, none of us have been religious, so I’m just surprised.” Not that we didn't believe in a higher power, we did, but it wasn't as if we were in church every Sunday.

“
How are you and Drake?” Ariel was looking over my shoulder. I followed her gaze and noticed Ryan and Drake were still waiting for the drinks, but my man appeared to be in a grim mood. His jaw was tight, and his eyes were angry.

“
Not good,” I confessed. She raised her brow. “I totally lost it when the accident happened.”

“
It’s understandable.”

“
Yeah, that’s true. But I completely shut him out and was mean to him. The last three weeks, he’s completely ignored me.” Again, she had the know-it-all look, and it was impossible not to confess to her. “Okay, we had a mind-blowing kiss, but after that, I’ve been getting the silent treatment. I just feel like he is—”

It was hard to say those words, so Ariel pitched in, “Giving up? Not fighting anymore? Or worse…not wanting to do that?”

“
Yeah, all of it.”

“
Then fight for him.”

Her words made me think.

Was this the reason for his behavior? Because I didn't fight for him? Because he was putting everything into our relationship?

Shit, that was it, wasn't it?

Exactly, and it made me feel like a dick again.

First, I pushed him away in Vegas, then his courting, and now. Couples were supposed to stand by each other, and what was I doing? I was pushing him away, but it wasn't as if I wanted to let him go.

“
Shit.”

Ariel chuckled and sipped from the bottle of water she was holding. “I see realization has sunk in.”

My glare did absolutely nothing to stop her giggles. “I’m a dick.”

“
Yeah, I think we covered that.”

Bella made it back to the table and studied us both. “All good?”

Ariel gave her a thumbs-up, and I just groaned and put my chin on the table, my hands under it.

“
What’s wrong?” she asked worriedly.

“
I’m a dick.” I didn’t want to repeat these words, but what else could I say about what I did to the man I loved?

“
Oh, that. Yeah, you are.”

“
Told her,” Ariel added.

“
So much for friends’ support.”

“
Nothing but the truth, babe. So how are you going to win your guy?” Bella asked curiously.

“
And how do you know I need to do that?”

“
Because he looks miserable as fuck,” Ariel said, wincing.

“
Language.”

“
You just said you are a dick. How is this different?” Bella asked curiously.

“
I don’t know.”

“
Let me know, but for now, fuck, your man looks miserable.” Her words made me laugh, and for the first time, I believed I could be okay with everything. I noticed that Drake’s eyes narrowed when he saw me laughing. Was that hurt in his eyes? He spun around and put his hands on the counter. His back was to me, but it was clear he was tense. Ryan was saying something to him and clapping him on the back.

“
I’m a dick.” The girls giggled. “What should I do?”

“
What do you want to do?” Ariel asked.

“
I want to go back to the happy place we had before the accident happened. I…when I was in the car with Sam, I realized how much I loved him.” They squealed and hugged me from each side. “Yeah, but now…I’m afraid I screwed it all up.”

“
Come on, girl. The dude loves you. Nothing you’ll do will screw it up for him,” Bella joked, but I didn't share her confidence.

But the idea was forming in my head and it seemed like a good one.

I didn't, for one more minute, want this man to feel like he wasn't loved.

“
Let’s do it,” I said, and they gave me a questioning look, but nodded their heads.

What are best friends for, right?

Drake

“
If he doesn't give us our drinks in a minute, I’m gonna punch him.” It wasn't that I was a violent man, but we’d stood there almost half an hour and still had nothing. Granted, the place was crowded and there was only one bartender, but I wasn't in the most understanding of moods right now.

I was fucking pissed at myself.

For three weeks, I kept the promise I made to myself, to let her make a move, to let her show me that what we have, our relationship, means something to her, and what did I fucking do?

Kissed her.

And what a kiss it was.

There was nothing in the world I loved more than loving my woman and her responses to my touch. The minute I remembered what was I doing, I left her there and tried to calm myself. I was a guy; it was hard to control myself when I saw her beautiful and sexy body in that black lingerie of hers.

“
Chill, brother.” Ryan’s good mood didn't really make me happy either.

“
Easy for you to say. Your woman is with you and happy.” He opened his mouth to say something, but then shook his head and said nothing. “How is Jeremy holding up?” I considered the guy my friend now, and I was worried about the whole situation with Sam.

All traces of humor left Ryan’s eyes and he sighed. “Not good. He works himself into oblivion. Doesn’t talk with anyone and waits for Sam to let him see her. She wants nothing to do with him. He blames himself for the whole thing.”

“
Because of Candace?”

Ryan gave me a short nod, not that I was surprised. The accident was a terrible thing, but in Jer’s twisted psyche, he thought he was to blame, because Sam wouldn't have been in the car if it weren’t for him.

“
Any news on her hand?”

“
No, doctors say she needs time and more surgery. But every time they talk, it’s like there is no hope left in them. Her blindness looks to be a permanent thing. If she loses her music—” He didn’t finish, but he didn't really have to.

For those girls, music wasn't just a career. It was who they were, part of them, and for Sam to not have it anymore along with her sight could have bad results. I would need to look into her case and contact some world-class psychiatrists.

Ryan and I were facing the bar, and the bartender finally fucking started to make our drinks when the soft clearing of a throat from the mic got our attention.

“
Hello, everyone. My name is Bella, and that’s my friend Ariel, and I would like to sing a song for you.” The cheers erupted, and we turned to watch them with confusion. Ryan was smiling and saluting his girl, who found his eyes, smiled, and blew him a kiss.

Where the hell was Jane?

“
We love this song, and my friend Jane,” she pointed at my girl, who was standing kind of down in the middle of the dance floor, “dedicates it to her husband, Drake, there.” Now she was pointing at me, and all the people were looking at us.

What the hell was going on?

Some girls sighed, and some men grumbled.

“
Another cheese fest,” a guy next to me muttered, but I was too curious about what was happening on the stage to pay any attention to him.

The music started, Ariel softly playing on the piano, and then she got into it. The music was nice to hear, and seemed like a love song. Then Bella started to sing with her beautiful voice, and Jane stood in front of me. The song was Ella Henderson’s “Yours”

She was nervous, but smiled, and extended her hand to me. Without another thought, I grabbed it, and she moved me into the middle of the dance floor that was now empty in this crowded place. She put her hands around my neck; my hands held her tightly, and there wasn’t an inch of space left between us. We moved alone, looking only at each other, as Bella sang. Then other couples started to join us. I had no fucking clue why she was doing this, but it felt so good to hold her in my arms that I didn't care about those promises I made to myself. I knew this was a message from her to me, but I was so into our moment that I didn't even care about the lyrics.

Then she stopped in the middle of the dancing couples and mouthed the words Bella was singing, and I understood what she wanted to tell me.

Right at that moment, it didn't matter that we were in a crowded place, that people watched us, or that the place was far from romantic. As we were looking at each other, it was as if we were the only two people in the fucking universe, and there was this connection, a connection we had before the whole accident, but I was missing it.

She was trying to tell me she loved me.

It was supposed to make me feel good, and some part of me, after two years of trying, did.

But the other neglected part? Her declaration of love made me furious. I let go of her and took a step back. She tensed, and there was worry in her eyes, but I had nothing to reassure her with.

Without a word, I spun around, aware that almost everyone fucking watched me, and made my way to the exit door, not caring in the least what happened.

I just couldn't control the part in me that was furious and raging.

Jane

Well, this didn't go according to my plan.

In my fairytale plan right now, we were supposed to kiss and be on our way to a new life.

It worked for Bella and Ryan when she was singing that song to him during our concerts, so I thought I had a real chance here.

It sucked; that's what it did.

So instead of having the most romantic and best kiss of my life (which I assumed our kiss would have been), I was running after Drake, who almost made it to the car, and he was furious.

There was this anger in his eyes back at the bar, after my sort of declaration of love. It scared me, but not enough to let him go.