Jar of Hearts (Glow sequel) (16 page)

“You can't leave,” Vanessa was starting to panic. “The pastor will be here for rehearsal in an hour,”

“It'll be fine, it will. I am sure I will walk down the isle tomorrow like I didn't miss anything,” she gave a slight laugh. “I just need to be alone right now. I can't do that here, please understand,”

Vanessa nodded. “Believe me, I understand,” she smiled. If anyone did understand, it was Ben and Vanessa.

“Please say something to me, Maria,” I begged. “Don't leave without saying something,”

She stopped at the doorway, Marc was behind her. He stepped out of the way as she turned around. “I don't know what to say,” she shrugged.

“I know you feel something for me,” I quickly said making her turn back around. “I know you do... when you touch me, I feel it. Please, don't walk away from me,” I have never begged someone more in my life as I am standing here begging her as if her speaking depended on my life. I guess it does in a way as I feel I could die without her.

“I'll see you in the morning, Vanessa,” she turned to everyone at the table. “Thank you again for dinner,” she then looked at me before turning back around heading to the door with Marc following close behind.

I heard the front door close, and my heart was racing. I felt like a part of me was leaving. “No,” I rushed out the front door.

“Maria!” I yelled as she was getting into Marc's black Mercede's. “Hold up!”

She took her foot out of the car and told Marc to wait a second and closed the door. “What, Ethan,” I could tell she was tired.

“I'm not going to lie. I am having the hardest time letting you leave,” I clenched my jaw tightly trying to fight the urge to drag her back into the house. “I want you here with me and my family. I want to hold your hand,” I grabbed her hand and to my happiness, she let me hold it. “And I want to kiss you,” I held the back of her hand to my lips. She had no response, just stared at me thoughtfully. “And I want you to be a part of my life,” I kissed the back of her hand again. “God, Maria. I miss you,” I kept her hand against my mouth as I closed my eyes.

“I need to go, Ethan,” her voice was shaky.

“Please, don't cry,” I wiped the tears from her cheeks. “Stay with me, please,”

“You were with Jackie less than two hours ago,” she swallowed hard, closing her eyes for only a moment. “I can't stay here with you tonight, I'm sorry,”

“I made a huge mistake,” I let go of her hand. “I know I did, and I am so sorry for that. I was hurt when you brought Marc here and I thought for sure that you wanted nothing to do with me. I figured you read the interview and didn't care. So I took the only option to have you that I could...” I groaned. “And I suppose it was my own sick twisted way of having you, but it was wrong on so many levels. I realized that as soon as it was over. That's why you found me on the bathroom floor. I am sorry you had to witness it, Maria,”

“We are only friends. Nothing more,” she reassured me. “I was nervous about seeing you and he offered to come as support, that is all,”

“I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions,” I admitted. “I shouldn't have,”

“I'll see you tomorrow,” she toughed my cheek with the palm of her hand gently, leaving me with a lingering tingle from her touch. “I have to go,”

I nodded. I couldn't expect her to stay with me tonight knowing what I did with Jackie, or I should say to Jackie. God, I am such an asshole. Why did I have to do that? I should have pushed Jackie back out of the door then more than likely, my confession to Maria about how I feel about her would have gone a lot more smoothly than it did right at this moment.

“Goodnight, beautiful,” I kissed her on the forehead, letting her slip away from me and drive off in Marc's car down my parents driveway. It's okay, because there is always tomorrow.

Chapter Eleven

Maria

             
I watched in the side mirror as we drove away from Vanessa and Ethan's parents house. Ethan stood in the driveway watching me leave and it broke my heart. I wasn't expecting today's turn of events, especially him confessing that he loves me.

“The magazine,” I whispered, taking my eyes off of the mirror and digging through my purse.

“I thought you knew about that,” Marc looked at me through the corner of his eye. “That is why I figured you were so panicked on the way there earlier,”

“You knew about this?” I gasped.

“Um, I think everyone does except for you,” he winked.

“Why did I wait so long to read this damn thing?” I mumbled, pulling the magazine out of the manilla envelope only to see Ethan on the front cover smiling at me. I traced the dimensions of his face with my fingertips slowly.

“He made the cover,” I smiled at Marc. “Doesn't surprise me,” I chuckled.

I flipped through the pages, it opened to an already bookmarked page with a piece of paper that had Vanessa's handwriting scripted upon it.

Maria,

Don't try to figure out what  love is with your mind... you will only understand it with your heart.

XOXO, Nessy

I wiped the fresh shed tears from my face. I set the note aside and let my eyes gaze the first page. Ethan was standing there in the clothes he wore when we went out to lunch; his open white button up shirt and rolled up khaki pants, complete with navy blue dock shoes, and a silver Rolex. I laughed remembering how much crap the girls stuck in his hair, but he looked so perfect. His smile was out of this world, all sorts of sexy. I read the headline:  Ethan Montello, The Worlds Best Kept Bachelor. I laughed aloud.

I continued to read the interview questions. Most were simple such as where he grew up, what his favorite foods are, he was even asked what it was like growing up with 'Ask Nessy' as a sister which made me laugh. On the second page which was a photo of him in red, white, and blue swimming trunks with  a beach ball, and three woman around him in red, white, and silver bikinis is when the questions became intense. Tiffany had mentioned him just having his heart broken, and he explained it very simply as 'we both headed in different directions in our lives' which made my heart melt at the thought of him being respectful in the sense of not bashing Jackie to millions of people. Most wouldn't give it a second thought at a chance for revenge.

The rest of the questions Tiffany asked on the second page were what he looks for in a relationship, what his ideal type of woman is, and if he ever wanted to have a family of his own which his answer 'Absolutely I do. I grew up in a home that family values were extremely important and I'd definitely like to have children someday that my future wife and I can teach them those same morals.' made me smile.

I flipped to the last page where Ethan is holding two lit sparklers and is laughing, standing barefoot in the sand. He was in a pair of khaki shorts, and a long sleeved jean shirt with the sleeves rolled up, it was only buttoned halfway. Every definition of his abs and pecks showed, they flexed and bared as he laughed. After gawking for what seemed to be a good five minutes, I continued with the questions.

'You seem to know exactly what it is in a woman that you want. You describe her as someone you have already met.'

Ethan said, 'I have. She is a very exquisite person, with a lot of amazing qualities. She is definitely special.'

My heart was racing, I continued to read.

'Have you ever truly been in love, Ethan?'

He answered, 'Until I truly fell in love for the first time, I thought I had been at several points in my life. I realize now that it was my own hype of wanting to be in love. True love feels incredibly different than what we make it in our own minds. We think of it as this elaborate emotion when it is so much more than that. It's the way her touch sets my skin on fire, the way she makes my heart race, and the way that I could never live without her. One day it just happens to you when you least expect it. I know I didn't, and I had to take a minute to try and understand what made her so different from all the other woman.'

'This special lady you have talked about previously in our interview, is it her you are in love with, and does she know?'

He answered, 'It is, and no she doesn't.'

'I am taking a shot in the dark at this question but we all have to know, who is she?'

It felt as though time stood still as I read his answer. 'Actually you probably know her. She works at Glow and is a good friend of my sisters, Maria Anderson.'

'What are you hoping for now that she will find out about you being in love with her?'

He said, 'I can only hope that she feels the same way, and if not, at least she knows how I feel.'

“What do you think about it?” Marc asked, making me jump and close the magazine forcefully.

“I think it's sweet, and romantic,” I hugged Ethan's face to my chest.

“Oop, someone is awfully mushy, right?” he laughed.

“He ruined it, though,” I frowned.

“How?” Marc stopped at a red light. I noticed we were almost to my hotel.

“He slept with his ex girlfriend and I heard it all,” I plopped my head back on the headrest.

“You heard his reason, Maria,”

I snapped my head in his direction. “So that makes it okay? No freaking way,”

“Look. I am not saying what he did was okay by any means whatsoever. All I am saying is it is obvious that the guy is smitten for you. Who admits their love for someone nationally like he did?”

“And who falls in love then screws their ex?” I said defensively. “I am definitely not the bad guy in this situation anymore,”

“No you aren't,” he agreed. “From a guys point of view, I can see what he did and why,”

“Yeah? Explain to me why, please. I know he told me what his reasons were, but I'd like to hear your thoughts,” I crossed my arms over my chest waiting for his answer.

He pulled into the hotels parking lot and parked the car before speaking.

“Obviously this whole thing with Ethan has been one giant misunderstanding, right? I mean, he obviously never meant to leave you like you thought he did. He cares about you enough that he let himself hurt by giving you what he believed you wanted. Seeing you with me, now that made it a shit ton worse with it already in his head that you didn't want to pursue anything with him. He had no idea that we were just friends, and to top it off, he saw you at dinner with me. I have to say that I think he handled it a lot better than I would have,”

I nodded. “Okay, go on,”

“So, for him to admit in front of everybody, including his ex that he slept with that he was using her as a way to get 'close to you', I fully believe it. Think about it, Maria. When you miss someone, what is the one thing you want to do besides see them?”

I shrugged knowing exactly where he was going with this one. “Hug them,”

“Okay... in your intense case, he wanted to touch you. He wanted to feel your lips. In his own sense, he did.”

In the way Marc put it, I did understand. “I get it, I do,”

“Honestly, Maria. I don't think he did anything deliberate with her. I don't and I don't even know the guy. It's just my opinion based on the things he said, did, and I did read the entire interview,” he nudged me lightly on the shoulder with his fist.

I threw myself on Marc, hugging him tightly. “Thank you, so much,”

He was hesitant at first, possibly out of shock from my throwing myself in his arms. He squeezed me tightly against him. “You're welcome,”

I pulled away and tucked the magazine and letter in my purse. “It's okay, you don't have to come to the wedding tomorrow. I'll be fine,”

“And miss what the outcome of all of this drama is going to be?” he laughed. “I think not,”

“Okay,” I laughed. “Meet me at Vanessa's mom's house around three-thirty,”

“I will be there,” he smiled, showing his sexy dimples. I went to get out and he grabbed my arm.

“I have to say that Ethan is one lucky man,” he smiled. “I mean, after all I did want to date you,”

I returned the smile. “I'm sorry that it didn't work out, but I am glad that we are friends,”

“Me too,” he nodded. “I'll see you tomorrow, gorgeous,”

“Bye, Marc,” I got out and closed the car door with a smile on my face. He truly is a sweet guy who in just a few short days has taught me a lot. I am glad that I am getting know him as before, I never would have thought twice. I was slowly starting to figure out that letting people into my life isn't necessarily such a bad thing.

~

I literally re-read Ethan's interview at least twenty times. I could feel my heart swell with every letter of every word he had said. I chalked my heart feeling like it was going to explode up to this new feeling of 'love'. I decided to do something differently with this feeling instead of doing what I normally would which I recently learned was flip out, and cry for four hours. Instead, every time I felt like I was starting to become incredibly upset I read his confession, and stared at his handsome three dimensional images. It replaced my fear to love with more adoration I could ever know what to do with. As the hours pass, I learn to look at love with new reverence.

I finally fell asleep while reading Ethan's words. When I woke up, I didn't feel normal. I felt enthralled, alive, and full of... love. Love for Ethan Montello. When I looked in the mirror, I saw someone I was unfamiliar with. All of the time I truly thought I was happy, who was I kidding? I shrilled, running back to my hotel bed landing face first into a pillow and screamed at the top of my lungs, it did no good. I jumped when my cell phone rang. I flew from the bed and grabbed my cell phone with the hopes it was Ethan. I was excited to tell him what happened to me last night. I frowned when I saw it wasn't.

“Hello,” I said, looking around as I didn't even sound like myself. I sounded way too chipper.

“Maria!” Vanessa cried into the phone hysterically.

“What?” I panicked. “What happened!?” I quickly ran to my bag to get a change of clothes.

“The-” she sobbed. “Flowers!”

“No, no...” I threw my PJ shorts off and threw on a pair of  yoga pants. “Don't cry,”

“How can you say that!” she sobbed again. “My mothers house and backyard smells like a dump truck!” she screamed into the phone.

“Those aren't the flowers for the wedding,” I said quickly.

“I mean, what are the guests going to think!” she was beyond hysterical now.

“Nessy! Those aren't the flowers!” I laughed.

“You think this is funny!?” she gasped. “Benjamin, she thinks this is funny!” I heard her drop the phone to the floor, I winced.

“Hello?” he fumbled the phone. “Sorry, hi... why do the flowers smell like a monkey's ass, Maria?”

I could hear Vanessa crying in the background. “It stinks in here!”

“Maria,” Ben said getting rather impatient.

“Ben, it was a joke. The real flowers should be there within thirty minutes,” I said calmly.

“It's a joke?” He said with relief behind his slight annoyance.

“It's just a joke,” I said again to reassure him.

“Thank God,” he said into the phone before hanging up.