Jay Walking (19 page)

I slam my cards on the table, exposing my hand. "We're trying the best we can. Can everyone just get off my back about this already?"

"Whoa! Calm down, lady!" A voice says behind me.
 

I turn to Clint and Bentley making their way to us. "Clint! I didn't know you were coming."

I meet him halfway, and we embrace. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't miss your party. I brought Bentley. I hope you don't mind."

Bentley has always been so nice to me and encouraging in class. He and Clint make a great team. "Not at all. We still have cake left. I'll get you some."

"None for me," Bentley puts his hands up. "Thanks, though. Happy birthday by the way."

"Thanks." I'm distracted as Daniel pulls up and parks. Ah, he finally decides to show up. I've never gone paintballing, but I can't imagine it takes all day. "Excuse me for a minute." I touch Clint's arm as I move past him to greet Daniel.

Daniel leaps out of the car and furiously strides toward me. "What the hell was that?" he asks.

I dodge my head to either side and look behind me, and then back at Daniel. "What?" No 'happy birthday' or a hello kiss?

"What's that douchebag from the gym doing here? And why are you touching him? Tell him to leave."

"Clint?" I'm standing in front of Daniel now, and his cheeks are red, his eyes squinting as he peers past me eyeing Clint. "He came to wish me a happy birthday, which is more than I can say for you."

He refocuses to me. "What? I'm here, aren't I?"

"Like over three hours late!" I touch my hand to my forehead and sigh. "I can't do this right now. Please just come sit down and eat something. I'm sure after paintballing, you're starving."

He steps toward me, grabs me, and plants a huge kiss on me. The alcohol on his breath is enough for me to want to offer him a breath mint. "I'm hungry, baby, if you know what I mean."

"What?" I pull away. "I don't think so, Daniel. Come on now, take a seat."

He points to Clint. "He needs to leave, first."

"No, he doesn't. He's my friend, and I want him here."

Daniel shoves past me, and I try to call out to him, but he's already confronting Clint. "Stay away from Chelsea, man. She doesn't want you."

"Daniel, right?" Clint plays dumb. "Chelsea's my friend, nothing more. And even if she
did
want me, you couldn't do much about it."

"Hey, you little Rocky wannabe, Chelsea is mine and if I tell you to stay away from her, you do as I say."

"Really?" He pats his hands together. "Are you her bodyguard or something?"

My heart is racing, and I want to yell out for them to stop, but at the same time, nothing will make me happier than Clint punching Daniel in his face and putting him in his place. My dad hangs silently on the sidelines, either to protect himself from harm or to let this stupid little game play out.

Daniel pokes him in the chest. "She's
my
girlfriend. Not yours."

A grin fills Clint's face. "Is that what you're worried about, guy?" He reaches his hand out, and Bentley takes it. "Meet Bentley, my
boyfriend.
" Bentley doesn't wave or smile; he stands there, letting Clint and Daniel work out their differences. "Trust me when I tell you I am
not
interested in Chelsea that way."

Amber is now standing next to me, jabbing me in my side, and she's holding in a laugh. I'm sure Daniel is embarrassed, but he'll never admit to it.

"I don't trust anything you say. I don't like you. At. All. And I want you to leave."

Now I'm pissed. "Daniel, this is my parent's house, and unless
they
ask him to leave, which they won't, he's more than welcome to stay."

"Chels, thanks for sticking up for me, but I'll just go." He clenches his jaw and pulls Bentley close to him. "Before I punch Daniel in the face."

"Get the hell out of here!" Daniel points to the street as though he's the one making this happen. I'm ready to jump on top of him and start punching him myself for what an ass he's being. But, if Clint and Bentley are going to leave regardless, I don't want to cause more of a scene than is already playing out.

"Clint, stay." I'm pleading, but my pulse is throbbing and I wait for a physical fight to begin.
 

He drops Bentley's hand and steps over to me. Out of the corner of my eye, Daniel is clenching his fist open and shut when Clint gives me a quick hug. "It's fine. I'll see you in class?"

I nod though I'm already certain I won't be going back.

A month after the whole birthday incident, things finally are starting to improve. Somehow Daniel found it within himself to apologize for his behavior toward Clint, but I take that with a grain of salt. I think he read into how miserable not going to my boxing class made me. The fitness tracker is coming in handy on my walks, and I upgraded to jogs around the neighborhood. I'm clearing almost two miles every time I run!

This morning before work James is still asleep, so I'm granted the rare opportunity to check my online store for sales. This never happens and after my write-up for using the site at the office, I never go on from there anymore. I login and the number 15 flashes on my order status page. No way.
 

I click the button, and sure enough 15 orders are waiting for me. Some people are requesting more than one kit! I catch my breath after the reality sinks in. This is huge for me. I print out the sheet, placing the long list of orders on my desk. I jump into the shower as Daniel is waking up. He's started staying over often, and this is helping a little with our relationship.
 

The one great thing about him sleeping over is he's here in the morning, and I can shower longer than three minutes. My showers typically are a quick wash down, and I rely on leave-in conditioner to comb through my hair. I simply don't have the time. Ten minutes in the shower is a luxury. I'm able to relax and take my time washing (and shaving!) everything I need to.
 

As I'm finishing up, Daniel wakes James and gets him dressed. "I'm running James up to your mom's!" The water muffles his voice. I'll eat some breakfast with James after my shower.

I bask in my few minutes of alone time and don't rush as I dry off. I wrap my towel around me, grab my toothbrush, and start scrubbing away on my teeth. I spit when the bathroom door flies open.
 

"What the hell are these?"
 

Daniel is holding the picture I never gave to Jay, as well as the card Lauren wrote her phone number on. A double whammy.

"Where did you find those?" I believe I put both items by my scrapbooking materials, which he has no right to search through.

"Not that it matters, but James handed them to me. I've got no clue where he got them from."

He's throwing our son into the mix as if this excuses his yelling at me. "I don't think it makes a difference what these are." I grab them from him, and my towel falls off. I quickly crouch down and cover myself. "They're none of your business; that's what." The picture of me and Jay is now wet, and the top right page is already beginning to curl.

"Why are you talking to Lauren? Are you two like friends now or something? Or did you start some club?"

"A club? What the hell are you talking about?" I force myself past him to the bedroom. Even though the picture is close to ruined, I gently place it on my dresser before putting on my underwear. I snap my bra shut when Daniel rushes in.

"Are you two conspiring against me? Tell me. What are you doing with Lauren's number?"

I'll be late for work if I can't resolve this quickly, but I doubt he even cares. "She stopped by the craft fair last month and told me she wants the kids to get to know each other."

"She
what
? She has no right contacting you!"

The hanger breaks in half when I yank my shirt off. I can't even look at him. "She cares enough to want her kids to have a relationship with their half brother."

"You think I
don't
care? You don't know me at all, do you, Chelsea?"

"No. I don't." My top is getting wrinkled as I twist the fabric back and forth in my hands. "Maybe that's the problem."

"Problem?"

I take a deep breath and turn to face him. "With us. This isn't working, Daniel. You want us to be a family, but you far from act like we are one."

His face sinks as his arms fall to his side. "What? We
are
a family. And I want James to meet Natalie and Nathan. In time. They're still young, anyway. Why didn't you tell me you two talked?"

I didn't want to tell him. When Lauren approached me about our kids being present in each other's lives, Daniel didn't even concern me. My problem of keeping things hidden didn't seem to work out to well for me. Had I told him right away, we wouldn't be having this argument, and I probably wouldn't be late for my job. "I'm sorry."

I'm waiting for him to hug me, or kiss me, or something showing he forgives me, though, I'm not certain I should be apologizing. He doesn't approach, though.
 

"Who's the guy?" He thumbs back to the dresser.

Inhale. Exhale. Deeply. How can I explain Jay to Daniel? Ever since we got back together, Jay never truly left my mind. I always wanted Jay, and I can only blame myself for not being honest about Daniel from the beginning. The truth always prevails, right? I can't help but wonder if I told him Daniel wanted visitation, he may still be around. I guess I freaked out. Fear makes people do crazy, reprehensible things and run places in their lives they never would otherwise under any other circumstance. No matter what may happen, I need to be honest with him.

I pull the shirt over my head and find a pair of pants. "Come," I say as I sit down on the bed. He follows, cautiously. "Jay and I met a few months ago. We dated for a short while."

"Were you two serious?" His voice cracks.

My eyes lose his and I lace my fingers together, now sweaty and sticky. "Kind of. Just as we started to get serious, you slapped the custody papers on me. He got pissed and broke things off."

Daniel's hand covers mine. "I guess that worked out well for me, then."

I hear the smile in his voice. He's the reason Jay dumped me, and he's more than happy about it.

"We signed up for a 5K together. It's in October, and I still plan to participate."

In an instant, his hand detaches from mine. "With this Jay guy?"

"No. Not
with
Jay. Hundreds, perhaps thousands, signed up for this. I'm running. The past few months I've trained really hard, and I'm sticking with it." No one is taking this run away from me. No one.

"Why do you want to do this? Are you trying to prove something?"

I'm going to be late for work, and I still need to eat breakfast. "Yes. I
am
trying to prove something.
To myself and my son
. We are the only ones I need to make happy. I promised myself I would exercise, lose weight, and get in shape. Along the way, I fell in love with it." And with Jay. "I refuse to give up." I don't know how much longer I can keep up with this charade. Perhaps I've been wrong about a family. James and me,
we're
family, and maybe Jay could eventually be part of it, too.

Daniel leans back on the mattress as I get up. "Fine. Do whatever you want. I hope you realize running this won't shed that extra baby fat, or get rid of those marks on your stomach."

I pause for a second before continuing to the door. His words don't even warrant a response from me. I let the door slam behind me.

Grocery shopping is always one of my most dreaded tasks. Part of the reason I despise going is James gets bored easily during the trip. The mall is much more interesting with so many different stores and people to watch. The supermarket bores him. I've tried distracting him with a crayon and paper and stuffed animals and have gone so far as to give him my phone to play with, but always midway through he gets antsy and starts to cry. I enrolled him in a weekly class for toddlers at the rec department. The hour gives me enough time to get everything done quickly without subjecting him to the task.
 

I guide my cart through the aisles like I'm on a race track, even though I'm alone. I should be taking my time and relaxing. I guess habits are hard to break.
 

My shopping pattern is different since I began my workout program. I'm careful to read more labels but I don't deprive myself of what I love the most. I compromise, and if I want something like ice cream I purchase one of the specialty items through one of the weight-loss programs always advertised on TV.
 
This week I go for the good stuff. I want double chocolate fudge and I made sure to put cherries and whipped cream in the cart as well.
 

Daniel's comment to me a week ago didn't faze me in the least. Sure, when I left that morning, I wanted to punch him in the gut for saying what he did. I almost ended it. What kind of a person says something like that? Especially to the mother of your child? The more I thought about it, though, the more I realized that I'm not striving for a perfect pin up body. I don't care about my stretch marks and, in fact, I wear them with pride. All I want out of my newfound love for exercise is to accomplish things I never thought I could. I'll run the 5K and work my way up to a marathon. I'll keep boxing and possibly even enroll in karate. I'm choosing this lifestyle for me and my son and no one else. They're only words, and I refuse to be broken down by them.
 

I try not to be naked around Daniel, but, when I am, I catch myself touching my abdomen subconsciously. Even though I'm not going to let his comments hold me back, I'm still somewhat uncomfortable and imagine what he may think of me. I'm going through the motions of this relationship. Each day with him is a struggle, but when I look at my son, I know I'm doing what I need to in order to give him the life he needs.

Ryan's party is coming up in a few short weeks and I plan on bringing Daniel. I'm hoping the time out together alone will help rekindle something between us. Tonight he suggested after James goes to bed we open some wine and enjoy a movie. That actually sounds nice. At least we don't have to come up with conversation.