Jealousy (8 page)

She let herself entertain the thought of leaving Peter and imagined life with Dominick.  It seemed surreal.  He fit into her life perfectly, especially with Justin dating Tyler.  She could easily fall in love with Dominick if she let herself.  And she knew Dominick was in love with her, even though he never told her.  He didn
’t need to.  It was obvious in every word he spoke, in every touch of his hand and in every look in his eye.

So, why
then, didn’t she leave Peter?  The question haunted her, until she finally found the answer – because it would break his heart, and she couldn’t do that to Peter.  But was this any better?  She didn’t know the answer.  She only knew that she was drawn to Dominick and couldn’t resist his allure.  She needed to be with him.  Unable to figure out a solution to her romantic dilemma, she decided to see where fate would take her relationship with Dominick.

Chapter Twelve:

The pregnancy test stared back at Heather with uncertainty.  The ambiguous +/- sign displayed in the little Lucite window left her
more anxious then before.

She heard Peter
’s key in the front door and her heart leapt into her throat.  She jumped and dropped the test strip in the bathroom sink.

He called for her, but she didn
’t answer.  His footsteps grew louder and closer and she scrambled to dispose of the evidence of her possible pregnancy in the bottom of the waste basket.

“
Why are you home so early?” she asked.  She knew she sounded nervous.

“
I’m not early,” he said.  “It’s 8:30.”

She lost track of time.  She was constantly distracted by visions of Dominick.
She never would have taken the pregnancy test if she knew Peter would be home any minute.  Her eye caught the box to the pregnancy test sitting blatantly on the toilet tank, and the color drained from her face.  She held her breath and tried to remain calm.  She tried not to stare at the box, but her eyes constantly darted back to it.  Luckily, Peter only wanted to tell her that he was running out for a drink with their neighbor, and quickly left.

She locked the bathroom door behind him and exhaled all the air in her lungs in a single breath.  She braced her hands on the vanity and stared at herself in the mirror.  Her usual warm, olive complexion was pale and ashen.  She wondered why Peter didn
’t notice or pick up on her jittery behavior.  She waited until she heard the front door close before she dumped the waste basket out on the floor.  She got down on her knees and sifted through the wadded up tissue.  She scattered it all over the bathroom floor until she finally found the small white test strip.  She picked it up, turned it over and burst into tears.  The clearly defined minus sign told her she wasn’t pregnant, but it was a close call.  She wrapped the test strip in a giant wad of toilet paper and placed it back in the bottom of the small waste basket underneath the rest of the garbage.  She tied the little plastic bag closed and deposited it in the trash can on the side of the house.  She made sure the lid was tightly closed in case the test strip magically broke out of the bag and tried to jump out of the pail.

Her whole body started to shake.  She folded her arms around her waist and took several deep breaths.  The guilt from her affair overwhel
med her and she cried openly.  She wondered what she would have done if she was pregnant.  She couldn’t pass off a baby that might be Dominick’s as Peter’s child.  She couldn’t tell Dominick.  She questioned whether or not she could have an abortion.  No.  She couldn’t do that either.  She realized that she needed to end her relationship with Dominick.  She hated the idea, and already felt the loss. A ray of light was extinguished in her heart.  She wished there was another alternative, but there was no other choice.  It was the only solution. She couldn’t risk hurting Peter with the discovery of her affair.  There was just one thing she still needed to do.  She needed to confess her indiscretion to the one person who mattered the most – Justin.

Chapter Thirteen:

Heather tried to summon the courage to tell Justin about the affair, but she stood paralyzed before him.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?”  He stroked her arm with concern.

She stumbled for the words to answer, but couldn
’t find them.  She paced around the room, bit her bottom lip and wrung her hands until they were sore.  She stopped, turned and looked Justin in the eye. “I’ve been sleeping with Dominick.”

Justin gasped and visibly recoiled from her. 
“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“
I don’t know how it happened.  It was just one time, and I told myself it would never happen again, but . . .”

“
How long has this been going on?”

She bit her bottom lip again. 
“Almost four months.”

“
FOUR MONTHS!” he shouted.  “HEATHER, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?”  He grabbed her by the upper arms.  “HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?  WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?”

She cringed in his grasp.  She knew he would be upset, but she didn
’t expect him to overreact.  “Calm down,” she said.  “I can’t talk to you if you’re gonna scream at me.”

Justin loosened his grip
ever so slightly and stared deeply into her eyes. “Why have you been lying to me?”

“
Because I was afraid to tell you.”

“
What about Tyler?  Has Tyler been lying to me too?”

“
No.  I swear.  I made Dom promise not to tell him.”  She squirmed free and pulled the bottom of her shirt down in a huff.  “Why are you so mad?  I’m cheating on Peter, not you!”

“
Because,” he said, slowly, “I know how it feels.”  Justin’s anger disappeared, and his entire body crumbled.  His eyes saddened and bore anguish and despair.  “I know how it feels to have someone you love betray you . . . betray your trust . . . break your heart . . .
crush
you.”  Tears moistened his eyes and his voice cracked.  “I know what it’s like to have the person you love, the person you thought you were gonna spend the rest of your life with, throw everything away.”  He shook his head.  “I never thought you could do that to Peter.  I never thought you could hurt him like that.”

Justin was referring to David.  Why couldn
’t she see it before?  She was doing exactly what David did to Justin.  That’s why her infidelity upset him so much.  She was flooded with guilt, and she started to cry.  “I don’t want to hurt Peter.  I love him.  You’re right.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry.”

He put his arms around her, and she sobbed softl
y into the center of his chest.

“
I called Dom and broke it off this morning.”  She dried her tears with the back of her hand.  “I deleted his phone number and blocked his calls.  Now I have no way to get in touch with him, and he can’t call me either.”

“
Good.  What made you finally come to your senses?”

She hesitated and wrinkled her brow. 
“I thought I was pregnant – but I’m not,” she quickly added.  “The test was negative.”

Justin looked like he might faint.
“Oh my God, Heather.”

“
I know.  I know.”  She slapped her leg.  “I almost fucked up my whole life!  This whole thing would have blown up in my face.  Peter would have left me – then what would I have done – with a baby?”  She started to cry again, almost uncontrollably.

Justin held her in his arms. 
“You know I would have helped you, sweetie.  You could have lived with me.  I would have taken care of you and the baby.  You never have to worry about anything.  I’ll always be there for you.  I’ll always take care of you.”

She clung to him and cried into his chest.  What would she do without Justin?  She was not an independent person.  She needed someone to constantly take care of her, and that person was, and always w
ould be, Justin.

Chapter Fourteen:

Heather stared out the window and into the crisp October air.  She reflected on the last few weeks.
It wasn’t easy for her to forget about Dominick, especially since Tyler was a constant reminder. The first time she saw Tyler after the affair ended he glared at her for a good 10 seconds without saying anything and she knew that he was aware of her relationship with his brother.  After Tyler silently berated her, he never alluded to it again.

Heather realized that the underlying problems in her marriage were what led to the affair in the first place.  She vowed to make things right between her and Peter, but she had no idea how.  She suggested a vacation, but Peter said he couldn
’t leave the store.

A cool breeze blew in, and a shiver ran down her spine.  She cranked the handle closed on the casement window and was about to turn away, but Justin
’s car pulled into the driveway and caught her attention.

She watched Justin and Tyler get out of the car, and they stopped and kissed on the front lawn.  She laughed softly at Tyler.
He never kissed Justin like a normal person. He threw all of his passion into it and hung all over Justin.

Peter joined her at the window to see what she was laughing about.  He jerked his head back and smirked at her.

“What?” she asked.

“
I wish they wouldn’t do that in front of the house,” he said.  “What are the neighbors going to think?  It’s fucking embarrassing.”

Heather spun around to face him and waved her hand in the air. 
“Why shouldn’t they show affection in public? How would you like it if people judged you all the time?”

Peter rolled his eyes. 
“Why do you always have to get defensive and overreact?”

“
Because it’s unfair.  I know I’m overly sensitive when it comes to Justin, but you have no idea what it was like for him growing up . . . what it was like for the both of us.”

Her thoughts returned to their childhood and it saddened her.  She sat down, put her elbows on the table and rubbed her forehead.  She hated bringing up the past, but maybe if she opened up a little to Peter, it would bring them closer together.  Maybe it would help him understand why she was so overprotective when it came to Justin.

She looked up at Peter with a deep frown.  “Do you have any idea what it feels like to watch someone you care about get bullied and picked on constantly?” Her voice was soft and fragile. “Justin used to get beat up and teased all the time, and then they started teasing me because we were always together. I was the only one he had . . . the only one who ever stuck up for him and came to his defense. He was always tall, but he was scrawny. He didn’t know how to fight, and kids always picked on him. They were fucking relentless!” She slapped her hand on the table, and her face quivered. “Do you know what that’s like for a kid?” Her voice cracked and she paused. “It broke my heart. I used to wish I was the one getting picked on instead of him. I would give anything to change his childhood. He never bothered anybody.  He never did anything wrong. He didn’t deserve to be treated that way. No one does.  Especially a kid. I used to cry harder than he did.” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Kids can be so
fucking
mean!” She paused again and tried to get control of her emotions. “I couldn’t stand it anymore, so I made him take karate lessons to learn how to defend himself.”

“
He knows karate?” Peter asked.

“
Tae kwon do.”  She waved her hand.  “It’s the same thing. He’s a black belt.”

“
Really?  I didn’t know that.”

Heather nodded.
“He hated it at first, but I used to drag him there twice a week.  Then he started lifting weights and building up muscle. He started to gain self-confidence and for the first time in his life he felt good about himself and about who he was.  I’ll never forget the first time he defended himself in a fight.” She looked off into the distance and visualized the incident in her head. “He knocked the shit outta this kid who always used to beat him up. It was a turning point in his life – in both of our lives.  We were about 16, I think. I watched him get tormented all those years in school.” She let out a long, exasperated breath. “Whenever someone makes an insensitive remark about him, I still see that little boy who always got bullied, and all those feelings from my childhood come back again . . . only worse.” She put her hand to her chest and furrowed her brow. “It fucking
kills
me. I’ll never forget what he went through, and I’ll never stop defending him. I’ll do anything to protect him. I would give my life defending him.” A single tear slipped down her cheek. It was a small glimpse of the torment she went through, but it left her emotionally drained and frazzled.  She leaned forward, put her elbows on the table and rubbed the tension from her forehead for several seconds.

She folded her a
rms across her chest, sat back in the chair and barely met Peter’s eye. “Please don’t mention anything about what I said to Justin. I would die if Justin found out I divulged his personal business. You know he never talks about his childhood. He hates to be reminded of it.  We both do.  And Tyler doesn’t know anything about it, either.”