Jealousy (9 page)

“
Whatever,” Peter said.  “I still don’t want them making out in front of the house.”

A loud gasp escaped her. 
“Whatever?  That’s all you have to say?” His words hurt her more than they angered her.

“
I get it.  You both had it rough as kids.  So did a lot of people.  Move past it, already.”

“
What?”  She was shocked at his lack of compassion.  “You could be a little more sensitive.  I knew you wouldn’t understand, but you can see that I’m upset, you could at least . . .”

Justin and Tyler entered the house, and she quickly changed the subject.  She shook the emotion from her face and pretended nothing was wrong.  She leaned against the windowsill and watched Justin have a casual conversation with Tyler at the table.
She tried hard not to show it, but she still couldn’t let go of the heartbreak that resurfaced during the sad recap of their childhood.

Justin felt her stare and shot her a quizzical look.
She returned a small smile and shook her head, but he didn’t dismiss her response so easily.

“
Do you wanna sit?” he asked.

Justin starte
d to rise, but she stopped him.

“
There is an empty chair right there,” she said, pointing to the opposite end of the table. “I’m fine. Sit down.”

“
Alright,” he answered, hesitantly.  He stared at her for a moment, before returning to his conversation with Tyler.

No matter how happy and confident Justin was today, when she
looked into his eyes, she always saw the insecure little boy she knew as a child and it tugged at her heart. She reached out to him and placed a soft loving kiss on his cheek.

“
What are you doing?”  He backed away with surprise.

“
Be quiet,” she whispered into his ear, and hugged him with all her might.

“
Are you OK, sweetie?  What’s wrong?”

“
Nothing.”  She squeezed her eyes shut and rested her head on his shoulder.  “I just need a hug.”

Chapter Fifteen:

Justin was expecting to see Heather on the opposite side of the door, even though it was hours earlier than she usually arrived on Sunday mornings.  Instead, Tyler
’s loving brown eyes smiled back at him.

He wish
ed he never answered the door.

Justin brought someone home last night, but
he had no intention of letting his guest spend the night. They were both very drunk, had sex and then must have passed out.  The first time Justin woke up was when Tyler rang the doorbell a minute ago.

It was sort of an unspoken rule, a
“given”, that they weren’t supposed to drop by each other’s place unannounced.  Why did Tyler cross the line?  Justin sighed.  Because Tyler was in love with him, that’s why.  Justin had no reason to feel guilty, they weren’t exclusive, but he did anyway.  A queasy feeling settled in the pit of Justin’s stomach.  He told himself that he wouldn’t let it happen, but all along he knew that he would break Tyler’s heart.

Tyler put his hands on either side of Justin
’s face, gave him an exaggerated kiss and sauntered into the apartment.  “I know it’s early, Delicious, but I’m absolutely famished.  Let’s go out for breakfast.”

Justin
’s eyes dropped down to the floor.  “I’m sorry.  It’s a bad time.  You should’ve called first.”

The smile immediately fell
from Tyler’s face.  At first he didn’t say anything.  He only stared at Justin with his mouth open.  Then he slowly wrinkled his brow and frowned.  “Is someone here?”

“
I’m sorry.”  Justin reached out to Tyler, but Tyler backed away.

Tyler
’s face, usually so animated and happy, drooped with sadness.

Guilt raced through Justin
’s veins and caused his cheeks to flush.  “He’s just someone I met last night.  He doesn’t mean anything to me.  This doesn’t happen often, Tyler.  I don’t want you to think . . .”

“
You don’t owe me an explanation,” Tyler said, as a tear glistened in the corner of his eye.

“
Of course I do.”

The bedroom door swung open and interrupted them.  Justin
’s overnight guest scuttled past Tyler, still closing the zipper on his jeans.  “Sorry, dude,” he said.  “I didn’t know.  It was just a one-night stand.”

Tyler flinched and recoiled, freshly wounded
by the sight of a strange half naked man leaving Justin’s bedroom.

“
I’m sorry, Tyler,” Justin said, with a heavy sigh.  “I never meant to hurt you.  I . . . I don’t know what else to say.”

Tyler stared at the closed door in a semi-catatonic state.  After a long pause, he slowly turned back to Justin.
“I don’t wanna do this anymore.”

“
Don’t say that.”

Tyler shook his head. 
“It’s not your fault.  I know you’re not in love with me, and you made it clear that you didn’t want an exclusive relationship.”  He paused again.  “I can’t go through this again.” The tear moistening his eye spilled down his cheek.

“
I’m so sorry.  Please don’t leave me,” Justin begged.

“
Tell me you won’t see anyone else, Justin.  You don’t have to love me back, just tell me you’re ready to make a commitment, and I’ll stay.”

It was the one and only
time Tyler called him Justin.

“
I wish I could, but I can’t.”  Justin took Tyler’s hands and brought them to his chest.  “I want you in my life.  I
need
you.  Please stay.  Don’t go.”

Tyler answered with a long, tender kiss. 
“Goodbye, Delicious.  I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for.”

Justin
’s heart ached as he watched Tyler leave.  Justin sat down on the couch, cradled his head in his hands and wondered what the hell happened to his life.  Is this what he wanted – to sleep with whomever he wanted, whenever he wanted?  No.  It was the exact opposite.  He wanted what he had with David, but he was afraid to open his heart to love again.  He cared about Tyler, but Tyler wasn’t the right guy for him.  He wondered if he would find another man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with or if David was his one and only soul mate.  The burnt out hole in his chest reminded him that without Tyler he truly was alone, and he sobbed into his hands.

Chapter Sixteen:

The breakup
with Tyler hit Justin hard. Heather was worried about him.  Last night he was particularly sad and withdrawn.  She wanted to make sure he was OK before she left for work, but he didn’t answer his phone.  She sat on the bed and waited for Justin to return her call.  The minutes ticked by, but the phone remained silent.  Now she was late.

She flew out the door and raced down the street.  Her shi
rt was still warm from the iron and she questioned whether or not she turned it off before she left the house.  She recounted her actions, but she couldn’t remember.  The further she got from the house, the more it nagged at her.  If she returned home to check, she would miss the train, and she couldn’t be late for work again.

She tried Justin once more, but there was still no answer.
She couldn’t call Peter.  He was already at the electronics store, and he was too busy to leave, plus, she didn’t want to hear another lecture about how irresponsible she was.

“
Damn it!”  She hit her leg with her fist.  She had no choice but to check on it herself.  If she ran, maybe she could still catch her train.  She abruptly turned and bolted across the street back toward the house.

She never saw the car coming.  She only heard the blaring sound of its horn and the screech of its tires on the asphalt.  She didn
’t even have time to scream.

Chapter Seventeen:

For two hours
Justin paced around the stark white hospital waiting room.  It was morbidly quiet and the somber faces of its inhabitants, all waiting for news about the prognosis of their loved ones, unnerved him.  Justin repeatedly asked the nurse for an update on Heather’s condition, but there was none.  Heather was still in surgery.

Justin chewed his last fingernail and turned away from the window.  He watched Peter, who still hadn
’t moved from in front of the small TV on the wall.  He wondered how Peter managed to remain calm and composed. He wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake some emotion into him.  Justin sat down next to Peter, but he couldn’t sit still for more than a few minutes.  He harassed the nurse again.  She was starting to get annoyed.

The doctor finally appeared, still in his operating room scrubs, and asked for the family of Heather Cooper.  Justin ru
shed to the doctor’s side, but he had to wait for Peter to get up from the TV before the doctor could explain what happened to her.

Heather was hit by a car while crossing the street and thrown several yards.  When she landed, she was impaled by a piece of metal.  It entered her lower back and almost protruded through the front of her abdomen.
Her right kidney was lacerated and her spleen was severely injured in the accident.  They were unable to save either organ.  The main concern right now was the function of her remaining kidney.  It needed to handle the extra burden of doing its job without its mate.  She also had three fractured ribs, a pulmonary contusion and extensive bruising.  It was a miracle she didn’t break any bones or have a concussion.

Justin stared at the doctor, almost in shock, as he absorbed the extent of Heather
’s injuries. She was lucky to be alive.

Justin and Heather were born a month apart and grew up
next door to each other in the same little town in the suburbs of New York City.  When Justin turned 18 and decided to move out of his parents’ house, he couldn’t leave without Heather.  They searched for apartments together and finally found two that were within walking distance of one another.  Years later, when Peter needed to move closer to his electronics store, Heather wouldn’t go with him unless Justin moved out to Long Island near them.  Justin didn’t hesitate, even though it added another 40 minutes to his commute into Manhattan to the salon every day.  He ended up taking an apartment five blocks away from Heather’s new house.  They had been inseparable since they were babies, never more than an arms’ length from each other.

The thought of losing
Heather arrested him.  She had been beside him for the last 32 years.  She gave him the strength to persevere when society crippled him. He could never go on without her.  Never.  Overwhelmed by the thought of losing his best friend, Justin sobbed heavily into his hands.

The doctor reassured
Justin that Heather’s condition was stable, but he wouldn’t believe she was OK until he saw her.  They were keeping her sedated for the next 24-48 hours to compensate for the pain, but he didn’t care.  He needed to see her.

Justin knew Heather would look bad, but he wasn
’t prepared for her altered appearance.  Her face was swollen almost beyond recognition and she had a breathing tube in her throat.  Various machines bleeped in the background and bags of fluid fed into a vein in her arm.

Justin held her hand to his cheek and continued to weep, while Peter
stood by almost expressionless.  Justin refused to leave her and sat vigil at her bedside throughout the night.  One of the nurses took pity on him and wheeled a stretcher in the corner of the small I.C.U. room for him to sleep on, but sleep eluded him.  Every time he dozed off, he bolted awake to make sure Heather was OK.  He finally managed a few short hours of sleep, hunched over in a chair, while he rested his head on the side of her bed and held her hand.

#

By the second morning, most of the swelling in Heather’s face disappeared, and she looked more like herself.  The doctor decreased the sedative and they waited for her to wake.  But two hours later, Heather still slept.

Justin never left her side.  He survived on coffee and the occasional snack
that Peter and the nurses brought him.

“
Why doesn’t she wake up?” he asked the nurse.

“
She’s been through a major trauma and she has a lot of medication in her body,” the nurse replied.  “It takes time.  Why don’t you go home and rest, dear?” She placed her hand on his shoulder.  “You look awful.”

Dark circles shadowed his eyes.  His hair, always styled to perfection, was both matted and tousled at the same time, and his usually clean-shaven face was overgrown with dark razor stubble.  He knew he was a mess, but he didn
’t care.  He shook his head at the nurse.  “I need to be here when she wakes up.”  He leaned forward and put his lips to Heather’s ear.  “Wake up, sweetie.  I need to know you’re OK.”  Her continued lack of response frightened him.

The nurse tried to comfort him with a cup of tea and a few reassuring words, and he felt a little less anxious.  She persuaded him to get something to eat in the cafeteria.  It was
only down the hall.