Journey's End (Marlbrook) (28 page)

Lord Henry stood with his arms folded
,
not bothering to
reply.

Laura filled the void.  “Forgive me for doubting your intentions, but, from my viewpoint, when a person declares fondness for another
,
do they not take what the other person is experiencing into consideration?”

Laura had thrown his deeds back at him with contempt, and she would now take note of who commanded the situation
,
for her future was written in stone.

“I salute you, madam, for you are right in your assessment, and I could stand here and argue the point for hours.”

Laura watched as Lord Henry casually circled the room, narrowing the width of his span with each cycle to where he would, in her calculations, eventually end up by her side.

His tolerance had departed.  Lord Henry now demanded payment.  “You are not supreme in your cleverness
,
though
. Y
ou seem to have failed in one important area and that is to examine the obvious. If the answer had been sought before you berated me
,
then you might have saved your precious voice and my wrath would not have been
invoked
.”

Lord Henry showed no leniency.  “Come
,
madam. Is your speech stilled or your inquisitiveness quelled to such a degree that you do not seek to know what it
is
in which
you have been remiss? I find that very strange, especially given your ample ability to use speech as a weapon.”

The pacing stopped.  Lord Henry had reached his target.  He allowed the hush to stand for a period, aware of Laura’s agony and conscious that his remarks were hurtful.

“Since you appear reluctant to supply a response
,
then I
shall inform you of the answer
.
Would the outcome of what must eventuate be altered if I agreed or disagreed with any of the accusations that you level at me? The reply is this
:
Nothing will change the situation or alter any of the conditions of my offer. The child, Laura, in exchange for your commitment - I require my answer now!”

The hammering of Laura’s heart signalled the presence of dread, as the spectre of her mother was conjured.  Laura’s compassion for the frail woman became empathy.  Circumstances had seen her mother marry and bed two men without the safeguard of affection.

Laura spoke, humbled by the knowledge of the outcome.  “Sir, I must be bold and ask for the right to privacy so tha
t I might examine my thoughts.
Any decision that I make will impact my life, regardless of the outcome.”

Lord Henry had believed Laura’s surrender nigh.  He
had witnessed the fight depart
but this was obviously not the case.  The battle was his
;
however
,
he would have to forfeit the skirmish.

“You have one week, Laura, and one week only. But I give you warning. Do not try
to
delay the inevitable
,
for you shall be doing yourself an injustice. Upon my return, I will hear no more debate on this subject. If I do not obtain an answer, a maid will be instructed to remove the child immediately from your presence. For your sake, it is important you understand that I have come to the end of my forbearance.”

Time was up and Laura’s journal verified her inner conflict, the daily writings carefully chronicled.  Two roads led to the future.  Each path required the reconciling of her moral standing, but either way
,
the Laura of old would cease to exist.  Ultimately
,
the balance had to come from what could be determined as best for the child
;
her own needs a poor second.  This, the last day allotted to Laura
, she penned:

“He offers wealth and a life that I could never provide for the child, but he also promises Hope a world absent of love.  I cannot detect any fatherly concern in his actions, and I fear further retribution from one such as Lady Emily.

To become a man’s mistress is so foreign to me and against a lifetime of instilled principles that this course does not present itself well.  My memories are still stained by my experience of him and serve to plague my dreams.

Again my decisions are such that the sacrifices grow and I can no longer see an end.  When all hope is gone
, for
what does one have to fight?”

#

Today would see Lord Henry’s return, and although the sun had barely risen
,
Laura busied herself at her chores.  The promise of a peaceful night’s sleep had been an elusive one.  Laura’s apprehension multiplied in the quiet and the knowledge of what lay ahead filled her with dismay.

Lord Henry arrived without any fanfare.  Laura had completed her preparations for the morning meal when he entered the cottage.  Lord Henry had not bothered to knock, a signal to Laura that he regarded her home as his territory and he required no
one
’
s
permission to enter.

Laura’s defiance showed.  Evidently her defences had rallied and
,
if nothing else
,
Lord Henry admired her spirit.  While his thoughts were so occupied, his physical cravings became public viewing.

The girl in Laura had gone, replaced by a woman capable of recognising a man’s wants.  Innocence dismissed, Laura could see what her future held and the insight almost reduced her to tears.

The child snuggled into Laura
,
unaware of the scene that was taking place.

“Laura, place the
girl
in her crib outside and let us finish our business.”

Laura reflected on what had passed and what would now come into being.  She obeyed the directive instinctively.  Lord Henry’s close proximity held little relevance; she had more pressing concerns.  She knew Lord Henry’s question and loathed her answer.

“Laura!”

Lord Henry’s tone jolted Laura from the demoralised state to which she had plummeted.

“Whether you like it or not
,
you are the “mother” of my child and you will have to learn to make most of the situation.”

The mood of the conversation quickly changed.  “Have y
ou lacked for anything, madam?
Have I not been respectful of your wants until today?”

Laura started to sway
;
her thoughts were punishing as the communication she dreaded, along with the underlying threat it had always promised, came to pass.

“I have come for my answer
,
Laura. You would be wise not to delay
, as I have the maid waiting.”

Instinctively Laura’s head jerked to one side, as if fleeing Lord Henry’s words, but he was quick to rectify the situation.  He held Laura firmly in her place.

Laura’s first attempt to answer ended in failure, but the second, a mere whisper, gave Lord Henry what he craved.  “My decision is made, my Lord. I choose to keep my child.”

Laura scarcely noticed the mouth that met hers.  Undisturbed by her non-participation
,
the assault increased in tempo.  Laura cloaked her thoughts, respectful of her mind’s right to retain a measure of sanity.

Powerful hands forced a response.  Lord Henry asserted his rights upon the territory he owned, and he showed no interest in where Laura’s attention resided.

Laura felt her feet leave the floor, as he swept her up in his arms
,
before carrying her to the other side of the room.  He deposited her upon her bed.

The lonel
y figure produced no entreaties
and exhibited few discernible emotions to rise up and confront him.  The word Lord Henry’s consciousness raised was - rape.  His exploits continued to erect barriers between them, and he queried why the woman continually brought out the worst in him.  All he had ever tried to do was create an alliance.

Laura was virginal, but Lord Henry’s ego assured him that he would be a good teacher.  His self-talk spurred him on in his moment of indecision.  Laura would learn to enjoy him, as he intended to pleasure her.

As Lord Henry placed himself beside Laura, she pictured the child playing happily in her crib in the garden.  The scent of roses drifted to greet her, and Laura closed her eyes on the existence of him.

Lord Henry had taken Laura and she had not spoken since.  Curse the woman, he thought, for invoking his guilt and making it want recognition.  He had no intention of getting used to
the
experience.

Lord Henry detected Laura’s gentle breathing, her luxurious flesh his to sample and her breasts his for the taking and yet satisfaction eluded him.  Laura had remained passive
,
or in the interests of accuracy, submissive.  Hell!  Nothing had turned out as he had expected.  Laura had cheated him.

Despite all evidence to the contrary, he did not derive his sexual fulfilment from inflicting himself upon defenceless women.  In a considerate move, he had released Laura from any unnecessary distress by restricting her choice.  In doing so, he had removed the essence of sin
in which
he had imagined her wallowing.  He had just assumed that she would be a willing partner in his bed.

But Laura had beaten him at his own undertaking.  To secure her
,
he realised that he would have to change his plans
,
otherwise he would not hold her for long.

Laura awoke to the sound of the child’s cry.  Lord Henry observed her as she placed her problems aside and offered his daughter a safe haven soothed with tender words.  Kisses demonstrated Laura’s love for Hope and gave him what he wanted.  Lord Henry knew then that he would become a good father and prevail.

When Lord Henry finally took his leave, Laura did not cry.  Life had led her here and she had acquired the knowledge that she would survive.  The child and her welfare were paramount.

A new bolt held the door firm.  The next time Lord Henry arrived, he would not gain entry without a fight.

That night, the passage in Laura’s journal was penned by a person still wrapped in self
-
loathing.

“Today I acquired the knowledge that I may have access to my child if Lord Henry has access to my body and soul.  He has taken t
he first, and it is with great
pity that I regard my person
,
for I have discovered that I cannot separate my soul.  In giving him my body
,
I have in turn contaminated my heart.  The price is high
,
in any man
’
s terms.”

CHAPTER
THIRTY-
TWO
– Turning point

The lock went unused.  Returning the following day, Lord Henry knocked on the timber entrance
,
unlike the previous visit.  The door opened to the visitor, and a new stage in
their relationship came about.

“Madam, I shall not fabricate a story or offer an apology for what happened yesterday.”
 
Formalities were uncalled for and a redundant waste of time.  He observed Laura
,
as she held the child close, her defensive reaction sealing his resolve.

“We made a promise
,
you and I.”  His voice softened, as he became aware of Laura’s distress.  “I stayed true until yesterday
;
whereupon it seems that whenever I am near you
,
I repeat my mistakes. My errors have again led me to devote a substantial amount of effort in finding a resolution to this conflict.”

Lord Henry paused briefly, but his eyes never left Laura.  “I have revisited the terms of our association and decided to give you the distance that you require to adapt to our contract.”

Advancing to where Laura was seated, Lord Henry crouched at her side.  He located Hope’s tiny fist and enclosed it within his own.

At close range, he could feel Laura’s anguish.  Slight tremors wracked her body, betraying her outward facade of control.  Laura’s endeavours to mask her trials were worth a tribute.  Not once had he considered the effects of his conduct or that they may be experienced to this degree - such was his ignorance.

“Although it must appear that I am of a callous nature, madam, and your bedding was not of your choosing, I am here to avow that my aspirations have changed. While I freely admit that you have no choice when it comes to being my mistress, I am sincere in my aim that you become a willing partner.”

Laura’s demeanour gave no indication as to her present state of mind.