JR (105 page)

—No well I, I mean once I just wanted to see if his light was on I wanted to talk to him about something and, and…

—What you saw us screwing? I mean look I'm not mad like I mean I was as good as that black haired chick where are you going.

—I just, I got some of that sauce on my fingers I wanted to …

—And like why do you keep that picture up there he had.

—What that, the Baldung? Well it's just up there, it …

—I mean do you like those little pointy dippeldutters she's got?

—What her, her breasts? I …

—No like that means nipples breast is, wait, brysters look I mean aren't mine better?

—Yes well, well they're larger yes and…

—No I mean sit down like she's supposed to be so beautiful to be in this famous painting right? Only she's got these little round brysters and this little round pot and look, no I mean sit here look, under here maybe she's better under here I mean see how heavy this is like? under along here? where she's like skinnier there I mean you are too lift your, all here I mean I got these pants too tight like tomorrow I better go down and get you some bigger ones I mean all up here and, wow like under here in front…

—Yes well, well right now they're a little…

—Then take them off like, I mean if they're so tight like take them off.

—Well I, I …

—No well like then don't. I mean like go set up your practice golf game go ahead, like go turn on your electric fucking tie rack and your…

—No no I just, it's just the door if …

—If what I mean if that old crap comes knocking my vife my vife Mister? No like go ahead man bring him in and play golf with him if that's what you'd…

—No no wait I …

—Like be careful man you're going to knock over the look it's that wire will you like take that thing out of your ear? I mean there's no big hurry now…

—No but, look all these feath…

—I mean here's where I wish I was all nice and firm like you are all under, what like did that hurt?

—No but…

—I mean like these must be the bolches in like this is the posen, like I mean we could both learn everything in all these different languages and…

—Yes but look all these feathers can't you, couldn't you just take it…

—No but like listen, I mean we had this poem once by this big sea water I mean what was her name, like listen to it in there…

—Yes Min, Minnehaha in, in Hia…

—No here get your, no like this way I mean it's real narrow get your, there. I mean like aren't mine like do you really like her little pointy dippel oh …

—Whose Minne…

—No like, hers in the, in the…

—No I …

—Yes right there, like that like that yes…

—Like, there and… ?

—Yes oh, oh and here, yes like, yes like that yes and, right there yes wait oh …

—But, wait let me, let me move my…

—Oh like there yes and, oh … you're wait get here and, and … not so, not so oh … ! like you're, you're built pretty big for not so oh … ! yes, yes put… yes like not so hurts not so oh, oh …

—I, I can't…

—Wait don't oh! oh oh oh … oh
——highest yield on your savings it's time to join the biggest savings bank family in town…

—Oh wow.

—I, I didn't mean to hurt…

—Wait like get something it's going all down my, wait move your… she reached the brown paper, —I mean my poor fisse, man…

—Well I, I didn't…

—And I mean wait let me get my, man like that last page you just did those fucking enchilavies went all over it.

—No that's all right I'm, I'll just do it over again…

A hand rose to scratch. —Like what do you want to do now.

—Well nothing I, I guess I'd better copy that page over and get back to …

—Like I mean you never talk. I mean you're not very interesting you know? I mean like all these other people and like Al I mean they all talk only with us I mean I always have to do all the talking, you know?

—Yes but, I mean when I'm trying to work and not thinking about something to talk about I …

—Man like you always think you're trying to work and like you never have something to talk about, I mean like except you're pretty big in the sack there you're like not very interesting.

—Well why should I be interesting! I mean, I mean I want my work to

be interesting but why do I have to be interesting! I mean everybody's trying to be interesting let them I'm just, I'm just doing something I have to do so I can try to do what I hope I …

—Like then what about Schramm I mean you were always talking to Schramm, like you just said you…

—No I didn't really I, he talked and I …

—Man like he hardly talked at all I mean you don't know what it was like with him, like with him you never knew what's coming next like this time he couldn't make it and he jumps off the bed and grabs this pencil and throws it down and it, I mean like that's why I hate all these fucking sharp pencils you've got around here you know?

—Yes that was terrible I, I didn't even know you were there when he…

—Man I don't want to talk about it! The feathers went off in a heap, a hand came up, scratching a loin.

—No I, I didn't mean…

—Then like don't talk about it… and the hand came up to dig in the shirt pocket as she stood, —I mean there's the telephone again, like I mean all it does is rings…

—Yes I'll get it… He passed her paused sniffing by 36 Boxes 200 2-Ply, mounted to QUICK QUAKER, —hello … ? Oh Mister Brisboy yes, hello .:. Now … ? Oh, no I'm sorry no I don't think it would … no no I really don't think … Yes well thank you but… No not here either no I'm, I still have a lot of work to take care of tonight and … I know you do yes thank you but… until then yes thank you for calling good… yes goodbye thank you for … auf Wiedersehen then yes…

She followed him back. —Like what are you getting dressed again for I mean are you going someplace?

—No I just feel more, just to work…

—like you're going to be up all night again? She pulled the rumpled blanket.

—No if I can just finish this I, I mean are you all right?

—Like why not man I mean I'm really sailing…

—Oh … he was back on Hoppin' With Flavor! spreading a fresh sheet of empty staves.

—Just that radio man, I mean the water I'm used to like you live by the ocean but that fucking radio, I mean Al put this gum on that mop handle you can like get it in there only to change the station like if you keep wiggling it I mean will you?

When he came down her gaze was gone elsewhere, he stood looking there blowing at the front of his shirt before he sank back to Hoppin' With Flavor! bent over the empty staves where the pen arched, paused, filled, once twice he looked back to find a whole bar missing, crumpled the page staring at the slow rise and fall beyond and pushed the punctured shade aside to bring it into shadow, and licked his lips, parting, meeting, parting on bleats and sudden muted stabs of triumph

as he sought fresh pages, drew a hand down his face and stared at the shadowed rise, and fall, and rise, licked his lips, licked the pen nib and dipped it seeking fresh sheets more slowly when the phone rang.

—I can't I can't no! No please I can't… !

He was up, caught her head to his trousers bulged against her cheek and held there. —It's all right you, you don't have to …

It rang again.

—I can't…

—It's all right … he held that weight of warmth hard against a tremble of his own, against the next ring, warmth spread suddenly over the back of his hand as he let her down and caught a corner of the blanket up to wipe the blood away, up QUICK QUAKER with the next ring —hello… ? Look I can't no I'm busy … all right! I'll accept the call operator! hello … ? Of course it's me who did you think it… who? Al did? No, no Al's just, he's the janitor he's just sort of a janitor who comes in and… No I know he shouldn't answer the phone look what are you calling now for what time is it, the candy store can't still be… no all right go ahead what is it… Well I told you I'd make the trip didn't I? What are you calling about it now for Mister Davidoff gave me… expense money too yes a hundred forty-eight cent dollars, thank you look is this the reason you… Fine yes did you call just to tell me Mister Davidoff's this real neat guy? I'm trying to … from where? I didn't meet anybody there from Malwi no I've never even heard of… Of what war, I haven't read the Times no I haven't even… what trade deal why did he want to talk to me about a trade deal… Well look if you just said they could bring the rhodium out of there through Malwi as the country of origin what's so … so who can sell what to China?

What bellies, what… Look I don't know what you're talking about! I don't think you do either why doesn't your neat guy Davidoff talk to this Senator Milliken about trade with China and this export license, why didn't he talk to the man from the Malwi Trade Commission and get the whole thing straightened… Well why doesn't he know about it, he seems to know ev … No I know he's not an officer of the company like I am look make him one, there's nothing he'd rath… well of course you'd have to pay him more what do you … Yes I know it but that second hand General's never met you either neither has poor old Urquhart and that, that terrible Teets so … Yes I know I did look you said you just wanted a distinguished looking old man and somebody who looked like he'd run over his own grandmother for … Yes all right but for ten dollars each where did you expect me to look, in the Directory of Dir … I'm not getting mad, I just have to get back to … I did see Mister Hopper yes but he didn't wait is that where these plastic flowers are supposed to be going… ? Just a shipping order yes it

sounds like millions of them look I just don't want them delivered here, tell somebody to … Well you can't have them delivered to Mister Brisboy's hotel no I met him he's a real, really enthusiastic but… yes he wanted me to tell you the death rate should rise twenty percent in the

next ten years I said I knew you'd be delighted now look…

—Hello Mister… ?

—Wait somebody's at the… yes she wrote them all down wait somebody's at the door… and he was down past 200 2-Ply, reaching under the sullen heave on the couch.

—Hello? Mister… ?

—Go away! He got back up smoothing the brown paper out on 24- One Pint Mazola under the bulb —it was nobody, nothing, now what

… Your call yes I just told you she wrote it all down and then this Leva called B F Leva, he said he might want to make a deal I told him you'd

… yes well fine then tell him that, don't shout at me who does he think he is he might want to make a deal shout at him shout at Piscat… Well if you've already told Piscator to figure something out what do you want me to … Yes it's right here, the stock's book value is six wait, one sixty-eight and … I told you she'd written it all… because it's a little smudged that's why look what makes you think that, of course she's dependable she… Well what do you mean company loyalty! she's not even … No no listen that's very kind of Mister Davidoff but I don't need Virginia up here no, everything's … Yes I know she is but I don't need her here and look what do you want to go over these figures in the middle of the night for anyhow, I'm… from the Times? When today …

? No I haven't just given an interview to anybody no and listen … Well listen what did you do that for look Mister Davidoff's your public relations that's what you're paying him for let him call them, he's already upset the way you tape these statements and play them over the phone to every… No of course he doesn't know you do it so you can hold the tape back to make your voice sound deeper he doesn't even know you tape them, he just doesn't like being taken by surprise every time you … No I didn't see our neat write-up in U S News and … I didn't see that one either no but… Yes the new company logo's real neat you're welcome now is this all you… Yes she did but you know more about them than I do anyhow, Mister Beaton called and this man Stamper but I thought you said this neat lawyer you got from Triangle this Mister Beamish was supposed to be handling that whole … well

look he's a lawyer isn't he? And this law firm you got out there Milliken Mudge whatever it is that represents this gas business let him talk to Senator Milliken about gas exploration and all the rest of this Alsaka Devel… what? What do you mean who changed it nobody did, you… because you spelled it that way in these memos you send out that nobody dares… Look I know how to spell Alaska but you spelled it a 1 s a … Because I know you did!

Piscator sent me your memo when he registered the… Yes you did… you did so … you look goodbye I'm not going to spend the rest of the

… what? What one more little thing … Listen we just talked about that, I said I was going didn't I? to… No now wait wait what do you mean take the bus what… The General took it? he just took it… ? Yes but who said he could just take the company plane any time he …

These neat research contracts at Ray-X yes but does that mean he can just take it to go get some honorary degree from this broken down Tex… look I don't want to hear about this neat real estate deal with them no why didn't you just send away and get him one from Alabama like the rest of us, he … Yes all right! but that's no reason to take a bus I can get a regular … No now wait… No no wait wait how many

Indians … No wait look is this why you really called me tonight? to tell me Charley Yellow Brook and his brother are waiting for me at some bus station and you… you said I'd meet them when… ? Yes I know I said I'd be out there in time for the funeral but… No but you mean twen, twenty-four hours on the bus with the Brook bro… What do you mean this neat chance to get acquainted by the time we get there we'll all be … No now wait look it's always just this one last time! will I just do this one last … Yes I know it but… Well why shouldn't Crawley tell you I'd exercised my stock option what did you expect me to … no who said I was going to sell it I just… All right yes I know it but… Yes my work is, it's fine yes I know you do I didn't say I don't appreciate this music grant but that's what I mean, you say just this one last time and now you're talking about two hundred thousand shares of something and meeting Boody somebody when I get back and some golf game look did it ever occur to you I might not want to learn to play golf… ? All right yes all right! just don't start to talk to me about company loyalty again and look I can't listen to all the news about school now I can't listen to your plan for a field trip just tell Davidoff to … yes and tell him I'm dropping all the music off at the hotel desk he said he'd arrange the whole … Well then why don't you just not call here at all till I get back just let him … what? I just told you, a hundred dollars … No but wait if the round trip is eighty-eight fifty-five that only leaves me with … Look I'm, I'm just too damned tired to argue about it if we're taking the bus just because they've already got bus tickets tell