JR (86 page)

—There, any reason to take it any further? In fact it sounds to me like my boy performed a real community service here after that smutty

thing Vogel showed up with about Millie Amp shortcircuiting her shunt and said he'd just followed an outline Dan here discussed with him, if that's…

—Yes well Vogel of course…

—And how many youngsters here saw it anyhow, just the fifth grade mostly wasn't it?

—Yes well of course that's how it happened to ahm, how they happened to see it over to the parochial school too yes apparently they've been taking Mrs ahm, taping Dan's wife's little enrichment lesson on silkworms and were quite ahm…

—Their own fault then isn't it? They've got their own closed-circuit

system over there now what do they expect…

—Yes well of course I'm sure they didn't expect ahm, rear entry while sitting I believe Father Haight mentioned as something quite ahm, unexpected that is to say apparently that was the only ahm the only sequence he …

—A mixed couple though wasn't it Major?

—Yes well I think Vern just means ahm…

—I know damn well what Vern means of course it was a mixed couple, nothing pansy in it at all in fact it sounds to me like my boy helped get these fifth graders off to a good healthy…

—Yes but of course some of the parents are ahm, who took an interest in silkworms that is to say are still somewhat…

—And if this is all the boy's done Whiteback I don't know why you even called me in, my office is pretty excited about the way I've handled this home ec equipment for them and I've got to …

—Yes well no in fact he ahm, yes well he also seems to have been collecting material that ahm, I had it right here yes that was found in his locker and could hardly be confused with ahm, with karate that is to say right under here somewhere they must yes no these are the pictures they sent us out of Mrs Joubert's field trip but ahm, but but wait but wait if these are the pictures of her field ahm what was she Dan right over under those clippings will you see what's under those clippings there…

—But, these… ?

—Yes hold that up Dan, what you were just discussing isn't it White- back? What was that word you were looking for, pudenda? or would you call that a proscribed opening.

—Yes but no I …

—Used to call it hair pie back where I came from that is to say, yes hold that one up too Dan. Looks like she's working up a frothy little selection on the old licorice stick nothing pansy about that either is there Major, must be the one Whiteback just finished telling Mrs Joubert to use in her television lesson to show us what America's all …

—Yes but she yes that's why she looked so …

—Modest I think you said, can't really blame her of course can you, in fact if this is what really happens on those field trips I might like to go along on one myself Whiteback, if you think she'd…

—Yes but no I thought I'd put those, that whole pile I thought it was right here, I didn't know I'd left it right out where she could…

—Sound like Vogel, he just told me it looked so nice out this morning he thought he'd leave it out all day too.

—Yes no Vogel of course isn't here no he …

—He's setting them up in the boys' room right now, just go in and he'll show you where the…

—Look Vern will you just damn it Whiteback give me that magazine see where he got it.

—Yes it seems to be ahm, In die Gurgel hineingestossen it says yes it

looks like a German ahm, organ…

—Look like a German organ to you Major? Looks to me like the biggest black organ I've ever seen, maybe your boy's passing it around to give the other youngsters a really meaningful learning experience in race relations.

—Look Vern just, will you just shut up? It's nothing but, probably just some black GI over there making out with one of the local frauleins how would he know what he was sending for? Stossen die Gurgel I never would have known it myself, now just…

—Probably just sent away to get the stamps.

—Well why not he collects stamps doesn't he? Why not.

—Wait what's that one you've got there Dan, looks a little more in the medical line.

—No this just just, it just says the new coitus splint designed for preliminary rigidity it just…

—It's all yours Dan, the Major and I are a little old-fashioned I think we'll just stay with the stossen die Gurgel approach, Major? Nothing pansy about…

—All right look Vern you've, he's had his fun Whiteback we've wasted enough time clearing this up and I've got to get hold of my office, just push that over here where I can dial Dan? Get a call in to the man who's running the store there before they close up shop watch that cord there Whiteback it's…

—Yes wait let me move this ahm, these pictures yes these are the ones I meant this field trip of ahm, Mrs Joubert's field trip yes…

—Hello … ? Yes give me Mister Davidoff this is … No no Davidoff yes this is …

—Mrs Joubert's social studies class Vern, her youngsters bought a share of stock in Mister Hyde's Diamond Cable Company to learn what ahm, learn what Am…

—Voted to buy it Whiteback get that in, all voted to buy it with their own hello? No no Hyde, my name's Hyde I got an urgent call to … In sales yes I got an urgent… Davidoff yes Davidoff he's… he's what?

What do you mean he's no longer with you with us yes what do you … No no wait get me Mollenhoff then, Mister Mollenhoff in … hello?

—Here let's see that one Whiteback, didn't know you had such a quota of blacks.

—Yes well no I was a little ahm, don't recognize all of them myself that is to say but of course…

—Probably see my boy in some of those Whiteback he's usually, yes hello? Ginny? Yes Mollenhoff there? This is Mister Hyde, I got an urgent … no no Hyde in sales yes is he there? I got an urgent… I'll hold

on yes, they took all those for a feature in the company's annual report Vern, youngsters marched right into the broker's and bought a share of Diamond for a good look at the whole, hello? I'm holding on yes…

—Looks like a zoo.

—Yes well what I think Vern means is …

—Just find one with the whole class then probably see him standing back by the flag he's usually, hello? Mollenhoff… ? Yes this is… no Hyde, in sales yes I… Been trying to reach Mister Davidoff yes I… that whole appliance deal yes straight from Davidoff, I… he's what? Wait… No wait a minute I… of course I did straight from Davidoff he … Yes but where does that leave me… ? You mean this whole Endo subsid… yes but where does … No but where does that… Yes what else can I do, I… No but, what else can I do …

—Look a little green around the gills Major, something…

—I don't believe it.

—This? wouldn't have believed it myself but you just said back by the flag Major, looks like…

—No that's not what I, what. What are you talking about.

—Looks like he's about ready to get down on one knee and sing Mammy…

—Here what are you talking about, give me that.

—Never met your Mrs that is to say Major but of course every man to his own…

—
t
don't believe it, here give me the rest of those what in, no I don't believe it …

—Yes well I think what ahm, what ahm…

—What the hell is going on here! Tell by his haircut, blackface in every one of them but you can tell by his haircut what the hell is, who did this. I want to know who did this!

—Looks like you've achieved a nice racial balance here Whiteback, better than busing them out from Queens…

—Whiteback did you, what do you know about this did you…

—No well yes of course in terms of the ongoing black ahm, nonwhite enrollment that is to say our little family of Koreans out near Jack's Discount Appliance is still ahm…

—Damn it Whiteback I'm not talking about Jack's Discount Koreans I'm talking about this boy back here by the flag, this blackface right back here by the…

—Yes well of course it might be ahm, yes if there's a sixth grader from that Stye family out near Dunkin'…

—That's not Stye's boy damn it it's mine can't you see the haircut? think my boy looks like a …

—After all the fine things we've heard about your company Major I think that's where the credit belongs, their annual report going out to millions of stockholders with this little message on corporate democracy, this little group of underprivileged and their share in America probably get one whole vote with it too don't they, a real lesson in what the free ent…

—Under what do you mean underprivileged what's that got to do with my boy's…

—Just touched up with the airbrush here and there in fact it's probably the most depraved looking bunch of underprivileged I've ever

seen, your boy here's right out of Al Fatah and this girl on the end

looks like she does it in doorways and look at this one, down front here holding up the stock certificate, ever see so much greed confined in

one small face?

Certainly is having a really meaningful learning experience in what America's all ab …

—Yes no what Vern ahm sit down Major Dan could you ahm, just a touch of ahm yes a touch of the tarbrush as Vern says Major of course the boy looks ahm…

—Looks like maybe somebody in your company's trying to do you a favor Major, give you a fresh image over on your side of town where you're not as popular as you…

—My side of what do you mean my side of town these blacks and radicals who are after me aren't from my side of town they…

—No I didn't mean them Major no, just your good white taxpaying neighbors, heard they're a little pissed off at the way your great emergency waste disposal system in that shelter of yours has just doubled everybody's new sewer assessment.

—Yes and you watch them, you watch them they'll be the first ones ripping their knickers to get in when the whole thing starts you watch them they…

—Never get the feeling history's just passed you by do you Major?

—Passed me what do you mean passed me by you…

—Just the gnawing suspicion that this Civil Defense of yours went out with the hula hoop and took the shelter fad with it?

—Look Vern just because CD's turned into some kind of milksop Red Cross rescue mission if you think my shelter's talk about history you haven't seen history you haven't seen anything, Watts Newark you haven't seen anything yet wreck my car, clean out my house, rip off my watch rip it right off me right off my wrist what do you think they're after me for? Because I'm the only one around here with my eyes open the only one who knows what we've got left to protect, that Stye .aat insurance man Stye remember what I said that day he just sat here without a word taking it all in right over there now with that Buzzie family trying to wipe me out with a million dollar lawsuit and Leroy, that Leroy creeping around punching holes in everything he could get his hands on sabotaging the whole system right under Dan's wait a minute Dan where are you going…

—I just, just have to go to the …

—Yes well I think the Major means Dan's testing ahm, Leroy of course…

—I'm talking about them getting at Dan getting at me through Dan's wife that's what I'm talking about, got my car got my job my boy where's that picture of not the one of him no the one they sent him

the blonde squatting over that black look at that sending him a thing like that, that's what I want to know where your wife stands in this look at it that's what I want to know…

—But but …

—The last time you got into her that's what I want to know Dan, the last time you got into Vern stay out of this I told you to stay out of this, my car my job my house my watch and they set up that accident set up Dan in that accident his wife's suing me too and I want to know the

last time he got into her, suing me for loss of his services and you can't tell me they don't look at that picture look at that picture the loss of his Dan come back here, using her to get at me because I'm the only one left who knows what we have to protect the only, look out… !

—Major for the last time shut up and listen, all we've got left to protect here is a system that's set up to promote the meanest possibilities in human nature and make them look good. Dan was paid to make Whiteback look good he couldn't do it and he's out.

Whiteback's been paid to make me look good he hasn't done it and he's out too Major and that's what America's all about, but if you think I'm going to try to make you look good over there shitting bullets in that emergency waste disposal system of yours when they come over the hill after you…

—No no wait Major you're Vern wait you're knocking over the Dan Dan wait…

Behind, the door marked Principal bunged in hollow leavetaking of the evasively level stare still cheaply framed high on the wall, still ferreting vacancy for that widely held determination to move courageously toward the prospect of going out and buying a refrigerator or something similarly useful and desirable, still fixing its indifference with benign reproof; before, the face all simple purpose across the corridor suffered a tic, reduced the future and extended the past by twenty seconds; beyond, the cheer of rushing water escaped the sweep of the door marked Boys.

—Why it's Dan, Dan I'm glad I bumped into you.

—Oh yes I, yes hello Coach I didn't know you were still…

—Just stopped in to have one for the road, off somewhere?

—Yes well I, I was just going to the…

—My treat… he led back down the corridor, —join you in a short one for auld lang syne, I hear you're between shows now yourself.

—Yes but I think I have something in, may have something waiting in industry…

—And don't forget your friends when you get there Dan, glad enough to be out of the active life myself for awhile you know, looking around for something in research, a place where a man's mind can turn loose and soar. I've been cramped here you know Dan badly cramped. Never notice the smell of sweat in these halls?

—No but I, excuse me I just have to get into the…

—He that loves a rosy cheek Dan, just hold out a minute longer? The cheek that doth not fade too much gazed at over there but you see if I stand here alone gazing at it she might be the next one having me up on charges…