Just Give In (5 page)

Chapter
Five

There
was this feeling inside of Lena that had her on edge. She couldn’t say what it
was, or even explain where it came from, but when Rory had called her this
afternoon and said he had some things to talk to her about, her belly had been
in knots and her entire body had just felt … off.

The
last few days had passed in this kind of hazy, euphoric blur. All she could
think about was being with Rory, about how they’d lost their virginity to each
other, and how she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. She might
only be eighteen, but she knew what she wanted out of life. She had plans to go
to college, already having a few acceptances from the universities she’d
applied to. Rory had applied as well, but she hadn’t heard one way or another on
if he’d gotten in. Maybe that’s what this was about? Maybe he got in, or maybe
she was feeling all kinds of nervous because he hadn’t gotten an acceptance?

She
ran her hands over her thighs, her skirt rising up slightly, and her heart
beating wildly. She sat a corner table at the local coffee shop in town, her
vanilla bean scone and lemonade in front of her. The cup had droplets of
condensation on it, and she watched those trails of water move down the plastic
and collect on the tabletop.

“Hey,
baby.”

The
sound of Rory’s voice had her glancing up. She stood and walked into his arms,
resting her head on his chest. The sound of his heart beating below her ear was
comforting. He had his hand on her back, rubbed it up and down, and she inhaled
the scent of his cologne. He smelled so good, felt so
good
against her. When she pulled away she rose on her toes and pressed her lips to
his. But she noticed how he looked, the way his face looked hard.

He
looked like he had something heavy on his mind by the strained, tight
expression he wore. Rory pulled her chair out and gestured for her to sit down.
When she was he took the seat across from her. Since he didn’t get anything to
eat or drink from the counter, and by the way he looked right now, she felt
like something was definitely up.

When
he leaned back in the chair but stared at his hands on the table, the silence
stretching between them, she couldn’t help herself but reach out and cover his
hands with hers.

“Rory,
what’s wrong?” Her appetite was gone, and she pushed aside the cup and plate
that held her scone. “Is it your dad?” Although she’d never actually met the
man, it was no secret in town that Rory’s father, Brian, was an alcoholic that
was living on disability because of a back injury he got from work over ten
years ago. But the truth was Brian had been in so many drunk driving car
accidents before that time that she had to wonder if it wasn’t those accidents
that had been his ultimate downfall in not being able to work anymore. Either
way it didn’t matter, because Brian
Jaymes
was an
asshole that had hit Rory when he was younger, and still tried to now.

“Lena,
I wanted to talk to you, to explain something to you,” he said and looked up at
her. He put one of his hands over hers, gave it a squeeze, and the smile he
gave her was a little forced.

“Rory,
you’re kind of scaring me.” They’d talked on the phone a few times since that
night at her place, but he’d been working a lot, and she hadn’t actually gotten
a chance to see him until now.

He
gave her another smile, this time not so forced. “I don’t mean to be, and I
should have talked to you about this when I first found out last week, but I
guess I was just looking for the right time to tell you all of this.”

She
didn’t know what he was talking about, but she sat up straighter, waiting for
the other shoe to drop. She didn’t speak again, just waited. It was clear he
was working up the nerve to say what he needed to tell her.

“I
got offered a job, Lena.” He stared into her eyes. “It’s a damn good job, in
fact, one that will have me making enough that I can get a place where you’re
going to school and support you while you focus on your studies.” He leaned
forward and smiled, lifted her hands to his mouth, and kissed her knuckles.
“Baby, I can take care of you while you worry about school.”

Her
heart was beating so hard she felt dizzy. “That’s incredible, Rory, but I feel
like there is also a ‘but’ in there somewhere.”

He
exhaled and leaned back again. He didn’t speak right away, and although she was
happy, excited even that Rory found a job that was that incredible, there was
that “what else is there” feeling filling her.

“The
job was brought up by Mickey and James at the garage. They are getting
positions as well, and when they brought it up to me I applied. I didn’t think
I’d actually get it, but—” He shrugged and let the conversation hang after that
word.

God,
she loved him so much. It wasn’t just that he was so damn attractive, and that
the girls in this restaurant had no shame as they checked him out while Lena
sat right across from him. She’d long since gotten rid of the jealousy, of the
worry that he’d leave her one day and find someone thinner, prettier. Being
with Rory, having a relationship with him, was so much more than just being
boyfriend and girlfriend. They were perfect for each other, made for each
other, and nothing would ever change that. Right now she was just confused, and
her worry was piqued because it felt like this heavy weight was moving between
them.

He
was leaning back on the chair, the hat he wore frayed around the brim, and the
shirt that was stretched over his wide, muscular chest, showed a few of the
tattoos under the material. He was big, so big and powerful, so strong and
confident in everything he did. But right now he was nervous. That was clear by
how he bounced his foot, his leg moving up and down under the table, the
strained look on his face, and the fact he looked at her as if he didn’t want
to really talk about whatever he’d called her here for.

“Rory,
I love you, but what is it that you’re not telling me?”

He
ran a hand over his scruff-covered jaw, and leaned forward again.

“The
job is great, but I have to leave, Lena.”

“Leave?”
she asked. “Like town, commuting or something?” Although she asked the question
she knew the answer already, could feel it in her stomach, deep in the recesses
of her cells. Just by the way he looked told her that this wasn’t about him
commuting. This was about him leaving her.

****

Rory
felt like shit right now, not because he’d taken the job, but because he hadn’t
told Lena sooner, like right the fuck when he’d found out he was leaving. He
stared at her, at the way her brow was furrowed, the stress on her expression.

“You’re
leaving me, aren’t you?”

He
shook his head. “Baby, I’m just leaving town. I’d never leave you. It’s you and
me forever.” His throat was tight as he continued to watch her. He knew she’d
see this as him leaving her, that this hurt her. Fuck, this hurt him, too. “I
don’t want you ever to think I’d leave you, because you’re it for me, Lena. I don’t
ever want anyone else.”

“You’re
it for me, too, Rory, but this is such a shock.”

“I
know, baby.” He smiled, hoping she’d see the love he had for her, because what
he was about to say would make this harder. “The job requires me to leave town
for the next year, Lena.”

Her
mouth parted and this little sound left her. “A year, Rory?” He could see the
panic on her face, knew she was thinking about how long a year would feel.
Since they’d started dating three years ago they hadn’t gone more than a week
without seeing each other.

He
took his hat off and rubbed his palm over his head. “I should have talked to
you about it.” They weren’t married, and they may only be eighteen, but she was
the girl he’d marry one day, the girl he wanted to have his babies when they
were ready, down the road. “I should have told you right away, but at first I
wasn’t sure I’d try and apply, and then when I did and got the job I wasn’t
sure how to talk about it with you.”

She
swallowed, and he saw the slender line of her throat work from the act. “And I
assume you won’t be able to see me at school?”

He
shook his head. “The job is going to Colorado for an entire year to help build
a new prison. The work will be grueling, and there will be a few thousand men
working on it off and on.” He gauged her reaction, but other than her picking
at her napkin she just stared at him. “It’s a massive project, and after it’s
said and done what I’ll be getting paid, and until I land another construction
job, which they’d guaranteed me if all goes well and I work my ass off, will
have us set, baby.” He went to grab her hand, but she leaned back and rested
them on her lap.

“Can
you come see me at all?”

He
shook his head again. “Because I’ll be working six out of seven days a week,
and the hours, I’m told, are pretty grueling, I won’t have time to go see you
and then get back to the jobsite.”

She
breathed out loud and looked down at her lap. “This freaking sucks, Rory.”

“I
know, baby, but once the year is up I can go to where you’re at and have them
hook me up with a job there. We’ll be set. I’ll have a shitload in the bank
from the year’s work that you can live with me and just focus on school.”

She
didn’t speak for several moments, and when she finally looked up he still saw
the pain in her expression, but she was trying to look happy.

“It’ll
be good for you to get away from Brian. But God, Rory, I am going to miss you.
A year is so long.”

“I
know, baby, but it’ll be worth it, I swear.”

She
nodded. “Will you be able to call me?”

“Of
course, although I’ll be working pretty much sunup to sundown, but you know
I’ll make time for my best girl.”

She
smiled, and although it was sad he did see the love she had for him in her
face. When Lena grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze, his chest tightened.

“When
do you have to leave?”

He
was silent for a long time, so long he noticed she started to shift on the
seat. “Next month.”

Her
eyes got wide for a moment. She looked down at the table, her face showing she
was thinking hard. “Next month?” she asked, but really it was as if she spoke
to herself. “But school…” Again she spoke to herself, shook her head once, and
finally lifted her gaze to him.

She
hadn’t decided on where she was going yet, probably waiting until he told her
if he got accepted, which he didn’t and hadn’t. That was something else he
still needed to come clean about.

“But
what if you get accepted into one of the schools you applied? You still haven’t
heard back from any of them?”

He
felt shame that he wasn’t as smart as she was, that he hadn’t been able to get
into even the lowest college on his “hope” totem pole. He felt shitty that he
honestly didn’t care about college. He only cared about her and making sure she
succeeded. “I didn’t get accepted, Lena.”

Her
eyes widened slightly. “To any of them? There were like five you applied to,
right?”

He’d
never been interested in school, and had struggled in focusing on it, on making
sure he passed his classes. Maybe if he’d actually applied himself his GPA
wouldn’t be shit.

“I
don’t know what to say other than I didn’t get accepted, and this job has come
as a godsend, baby.”

“You
kind of stunned me with all of this, Rory.”

He
felt like an ass. “I know, and I should have told you about it long before now,
but hell, the whole rejections letter humiliated me. You’re just so damn smart,
and I’m lucky to have even graduated.”

“Don’t
say that. You are smart. You’ve just been dealt a shitty hand.”

He
smiled. “You have the sweetest heart, Lena, but the truth is the truth. I’m
just not one of those guys.”

“One
of those guys?”

He
leaned back again. “One that hopes to get into the college of his dreams, that
even has a shot at a shitty townie one.”

“You
can be any guy you want to be, Rory.”

There
she went again, being optimistic even though everyone in town knew about his
old man and the shit life he led. “You’re right, but the truth is still the
truth, and reality doesn’t change. I’m the type of guy that loves his girl more
than anything else, and that’s all I need in life.” He winked at her and loved
that even three years later she still blushed. “I’m the kind of guy that does
hard, manual labor, providing for his girl because he wants her to have
everything.”

“Rory,”
she said softly. She stood, walked over to him, and in front of everyone in the
café she sat right on his lap. But Rory didn’t care if anyone watched, didn’t
give a fuck what they saw. He liked that she wanted to give him a little PDA,
craved it even. He held her, pushed her hair off of her shoulder, and pressed
his mouth to her ear.

“I
swear, Lena, I fucking swear everything will work out.” He held her tighter,
and prayed that it did. This was the one thing he didn’t want to fuck up, and
this was the one girl he didn’t want to lose.