Just Rules (11 page)

“I’m glad.”

“What did you say?”

He smiles at me again, but this time it’s a different kind of smile. Conniving.

“I said that I was glad.”

“Why?”

“Because now I can ask you out to dinner.”

KEV MACMURRAY

I can’t stop moving the fingers I touched her with.

They burn.

Why the hell did I stop touching Susana?

God, when I had her close to me, my heart was beating so fast that I was afraid she could hear it. If she been a little closer to me, she would have realized how worked up I was.

And then she would have thrown me out of her office.

When Tim asked me if I was interested in Susana I should have told him yes.

I go down the stairs of the T.V. station angrily and walk toward my car.

Coming here was a mistake.

Buying her favorite chocolates was a mistake.

Having feelings for Susana was a mistake

I lost that privilege by telling Tim more than a year ago that I wasn’t interested in her, and by spending more than a year fighting with her.

It was absurd to think any differently.

She hates me. Susana thinks I am the worst man on the planet, and she is convinced that I’m desperate enough to use the excuse of going to visit her to try to come on to her and have sex with her. I smile and run my fingers through my hair. Even if I were capable of telling her what is going on with me, she wouldn’t believe me. She would never believe me.

Luckily, I find where I left my car. I get inside and start it up. I have to get out of here as soon as possible.

Susana doesn’t believe me, and I don’t know if I want her to. What I’m feeling right now is not a good feeling. It’s suffocating me. Although my lungs fill with air, I’m constantly on the brink of a heart attack.

Hating her is much easier, and I’m much better at it.

I’m going to go back to hating her. I feel sick inside and grip the wheel. Or at least I will try to forget about her.

Eighth rule of American football:

Challenge:
both coaches have the right to request that a play be reviewed two times during the game.

Susan and Mac both tried to forget what had happened the day he went to see her at her work carrying that box of chocolates.

Susan felt humiliated, hurt, and confused.

Mac felt guilty, regretful, and confused.

Neither of them did anything about the way they were feeling, and they both carried on with life as if nothing had happened.

Mac received another call from Tim, and he assured him that Susan was fine, although at the same time he refused to go see her again. His friend assumed that it was because Mac and his ex-fiance both hated each other, so he accepted the decision without any complaints. Tim had told Mac that things with Amanda and Jeremy hadn’t gotten any better, and that to be closer to them he had rented an apartment in the same neighborhood where his wife and son lived (it still took Mac a long time to process those words). What Tim didn’t tell Mac was that he had talked to Susan and that he knew about the box of chocolates.

Tim had the feeling that it would be better left unsaid.

In order to try to forget about Mac’s visit, Susan concentrated on her work, refusing to let anyone or anything distract her. She ignored any news or comments about her postponed wedding.

The only distraction she allowed herself was to call Lisa on Wednesday, just like she had promised, to explain to her that she had already canceled the florist. However, one morning, she dared to answer a call from Tim’s mother. She and Tim’s mother had never had a close relationship, but Mrs. Delany was a very polite woman and only wanted to let her know that they didn’t agree with their son’s decision and that Susan could count on them for whatever she needed. Susan thanked her for the call and for her offer, and said goodbye promising that one day she’d stop by for a tea.

She turned down Parker’s invitation for dinner. He smiled at her and although he accepted being rejected, he warned her that he would try again. He called her the next day, and sent he sent her flowers. But Susan turned him down again. Parker kept calling, and he sent her tickets to see a ballet show.

Parker wasn’t going to give up easily and Susan knew that she wasn’t going to be able to resist forever. Parker Jones was charming and attractive. He was exactly the kind of man she had always imagined herself with. However, after what happened with Tim, Susan had promised herself that she wouldn’t settle for a rebound, or for someone who would just make her feel better, no matter how amazing that person was. Nope. The next time she gave anyone a chance
he
would have to take her breath away and stop her heart.

And she wasn’t thinking about Kev MacMurray when she came to that conclusion.

As far as everything else was concerned, she spent the rest of the week without thinking about Tim, the wedding, or Mac’s horrible comment. At least she tried as hard as she could anyway, and if there was anything she had, it was willpower.

However, on Friday, all of her good intentions went out the window when the only person who seemed not willing to let her get away with such behavior returned from Miami. Pam was her best friend and also the camerawoman at her T.V. program, and they had not seen each other since the day Pam helped Susan pick out the dress she was wearing the night Tim dumped her.

“I leave for a few days and you let things get out of hand, Sue.” That was the first thing Pam said when she walked into her apartment with two bottles of tequila. “My friends and I have come to make you confess.” She lifted up the bottles and paper bag filled with limes.

“I didn’t let anything get out of hand, Pam. Come in. What did you do to your hair this time?” Susan asked her, seeing that she had purple highlights. Anyone who saw them together wouldn’t imagine that they would be friends. Pam and Susan were complete opposites, at least on the outside. Pamela dyed her hair each week, and she had a ton of piercings, except for on her face. She also had a thing for tattoos, not to mention how daring her wardrobe was. Yes, Pamela and Susan were like night and day, but you couldn’t find two people who were better friends.

“They’re dyed hair extensions, washed with lavender and natural oils,” she explained, walking toward the kitchen completely at ease. “You can’t imagine how handsome was the guy who put them in. He was such a hottie. Is it alright if I grab these glasses?”

“Of course. And you decided to get these extensions just because the guy was hot?”

“Of course not. I wanted to get them, and he convinced me,” she added, with a mischievous grin.

“You slept with him.”

“Don’t say it as if it was a bad thing, Sue. It was amazing.”

“Are you going to see him again?”

“Who?” asked Pam, grabbing a knife and a cutting board to cut the limes.

“What do you mean who? The guy who did your highlights.”

“Oh, I doubt it.”

Susan raised her eyebrows and opened her mouth to say something, but she closed it without making a sound.

“You have to learn to relax, Sue. There is nothing wrong with casual sex. Sometimes it’s good that it doesn’t mean anything. And the salt? Where is the salt?”

Susan pointed to the salt shaker and Pam smiled and went after it.

“I know there’s nothing wrong with it,” she said, defending herself. “But you were only in Miami for a week.”

“That’s all I need. That’s how physical attraction works. It’s unstoppable. Come here. Sit down and start talking.”

There was an island in the middle of Susan’s kitchen. It had burners for cooking and a little area that she used for having breakfast, where she kept a white jug with fresh flowers that she changed each week and a ton of mauve colors napkins. There were two bar stools in front of the island; Pam, whose highlights matched the napkins perfectly, sat on one and Susan on the other.

Susan was watching her friend, wondering how it was possible that Pam, despite how peculiar she was, always seemed to fit in wherever she went. On the other hand, Susan who always had to force herself to act normal to fit in, never really managed to. No matter where she was, she always felt like everyone else knew a secret code that she didn’t, which didn’t allow her to fit in.

Pam, completely oblivious to her friend’s breakdown, or perhaps because she was aware of it, poured two big glasses of tequila, put a lime on the right side of each glass, and set the salt shaker in the middle of them. She smacked the bar a few times to let Susan know that she was ready to go, and just then she spotted the box of chocolates that were next to the jug.

“Have you fallen off the wagon?” Pamela asked her, giving a wink. “I thought you swore you’d never go to Chocolate Factory again to buy mint truffles.”

“I haven’t gone.” And she hadn’t been capable of throwing that damn box in the trash either. “I didn’t buy it. It was a gift.”

“From who? I thought I was the only one who knew your secret. And if I’m not mistaken, you made me promise not to tell anyone about your weakness for those truffles.”

“They’re from MacMurray.”

“MacMurray? Mac?” Pam whistled. “You’re telling me that Hurricane Mac bought you your favorite chocolate truffles?”

Susan shifted uncomfortably on the bar stool without answering her.

“I never remember how it goes. Is it the salt, lime or tequila that goes first?” said Susan, trying to distract her friend from the chocolates box.

“Salt.” She tapped her fingers and kept interrogating Susan. “When did he give them to you? Before or after you and Tim called off the wedding? You did call it off, right?”

“Yes. He gave them to me after.”

“I knew things were going to end up this way,” said Pamela, brushing a purple highlight off her face.

“What are you talking about? You knew about Tim? You knew he was already married?”

“Wait a second. Tim is married?”

“Yes.”

“We better start drinking as soon as possible,” said Pamela, grabbing the salt shaker. “And you better not leave anything out, Sue. You should have called me.”

“I didn’t want to bother you. It had been more than a year since you’d had a vacation.”

“Yeah, but you are my friend. You need to learn how to lean on people, Susan,” said Pamela, looking at her a bit more seriously than usual.

Susan nodded, uncomfortable and regretful. She knew that she could trust her friend, and the truth was that she had wanted to call her, but in the end she held back. It was difficult for her to open up to people, and she was embarrassed to tell her only friend that she had almost gotten married to a man who didn’t love her, and to a man she wasn’t in love with either.

She looked at the glass filled with tequila and she chugged it down. She set the glass down on the table, began to cough, and she grabbed a lime and shoved it in her mouth. Pamela patted her on the back a few times until she quit coughing.

“You forgot the salt,” she said with a smile, once Susan calmed down.

“Next time I’ll do it right. It’s all about practice, right?”

“Of course.” Pam had a drink without forgetting any of the steps: salt, tequila, lime. “What’s all this about Tim being married? To whom? Since when?”

Susan had another tequila. This time she was able to drink it without having a coughing attack, and she told her friend what little she knew about her ex-fiance.

“To a woman named Amanda who lives in Paris, and who is the love of his life. Meanwhile, I’m a great person and an incredible woman who doesn’t deserve someone like him,” she said, repeating what Tim had said, although she messed up a few words.

“Shit”

“You can’t tell anyone. Tim asked me to keep it a secret.”

“No one else knows?”

“I suppose MacMurray the idiot knows,” said Susan, throwing back another drink. “This tequila is really good.”

“Only the best for you, bestie. I know that you have an expensive taste.”

Susan scrunched up her nose, a gesture that contradicted her friend’s words.

“Why did you say before that you knew it would end up like this? What did you mean?”

Pamela filled their glasses before answering her.

“To you and Mac.”

“There is no Mac and I,” said Susan, who had lost count of how many times Pamela had filled her glass. “MacMurray is an idiot. He’s a self-centered fool who only knows how to use women and who has spent the last year telling Tim not to marry such a cold and distant woman like me.”

Pamela sucked on the slice of lime and shivered at the goose bumps that appeared all over her body.

“I’m sure that everything you’re saying is the truth.” She opened the second bottle of tequila. “I just call it how I see it.”

“And what is it that you see, aside from a playboy millionaire who never even tried to get to know me?”

Salt, tequila, lime. She was a pro now.

Was it always so hot in her kitchen?

“You know something? If my fiance canceled our wedding only two months before the big date, I would be furious with him,” said Pam, as if it were nothing, running her right index finger along the rim of the glass. “But you’ve barely even let Tim have it.”

“I am furious with him,” said Susan, raising both eyebrows in defense. “I slapped him when he dropped me off at my house.”

“I would have cut his balls off,” said Pam seriously. “But just by mentioning Mac your blood starts boiling. Why do you think that is?” She grabbed the bottle and split what was left of the tequila between the two of them.

“He’s just unbearable. MacMurray is an ill-mannered, womanizing, scrounger, who has never had to worry about anything and knows nothing about responsibility.”

Pamela raised her glass and pointed at Susan with it.

“That’s exactly what I am talking about. Mac is a charming guy. Actually, the only person I know who can’t stand him is you.”

“Well that would be because I’m the only person who sees how he really is.”

“You’re a charming girl as well,” said Pam, as if Susan hadn’t said anything at all. “And Mac gets all riled up just by looking at you. And that, my friend, only has one explanation.”