Just Rules (26 page)

And then Mac realized.

She had never held his hand before.

Good God. He had kissed that woman until he was out of breath. He had made love to her standing up against the door of his house. He had undressed her in the kitchen and he had been inside her for hours. And she had done exactly the same with him…and although he would never forget any of those moments, any of those touches, or any of those kisses, none of them meant as much or had hurt him as bad as he hurt now from her holding his hand.

“You shouldn’t do that —said Mac, his heart breaking— a nurse could come in at any moment and surely she would tell someone. Not to mention the journalists that…”

Susana lifted their hands that were still clutched together, and Mac sat there in silence, watching her kiss his knuckles. She then brought their hands up to her cheek and laid her face over them. God, he couldn’t breathe.

Lucky for him he was already in a hospital.

Susana looked at him and without saying anything leaned her head toward him and kissed him softly on the lips. Then she stood up and let his hand go. Mac told himself that it didn’t matter, that he already knew things were going to end that way. He himself had said in that elevator that they’d better go their separate ways, and if she left now, at least he’d always have that memory. He took a breath and forced himself to be strong and to not say anything else.

Susana didn’t leave. She pulled over a table that was in the corner, which Mac hadn’t seen until now, and grabbed a bunch of newspapers and magazines that were laying on it. She took them to the bed and set them carefully on Mac’s lap.

It took him a few seconds to react, to understand what it was that he was supposed to do, but finally he grabbed the one on top and brought it closer to his eyes to read it. He missed his glasses, but he was still able to make out the headline.

Hurricane Mac and the economic news presenter Susan Lobato together!!
Under the headline there was a photo of Susana worriedly going into the hospital behind Tim.

Mac swallowed and set down the newspaper to pick up another one.

MacMurray and Lobato secretly seeing each other for months. Is it just a fling?

Is the presenter trying to get over her ex-fiance by being with the captain of the Patriots?

The photo that went along with this article was from the dinner at L’Escalier when they lost the Super Bowl. He hadn’t realized that someone had photographed them together in the hallway at the restaurant. Damn cell phones. The photo was of the exact moment when Susana touched Mac’s forehead after he came out of the bathroom shook up.

Mac threw it down offended and grabbed another one. It bothered him terribly that they had robbed the intimacy of that caress.

Susan Lobato hasn’t left the hospital since MacMurray was admitted unconscious. What will happen when the captain of the Patriots wakes up?

In this case the photo was very close up because it was of inside of the hospital room and you can make out Susana sitting in the same chair she was sitting in now. Mac looked away furiously toward the window and assumed that they were able to take the photo with a huge lens used for distance.

He put down that newspaper and grabbed another one.

“That one is my favorite,” whispered Susana, who until then hadn’t said anything.

Mac read it:

“
Susan Lobato was always in love with MacMurray: the photos that prove it.
”

Below the headline (that belonged to a tabloid magazine) there were several photos of Susana taken throughout her relationship with Tim in which you could see her looking at Mac. And although the edition of the magazine was very tacky the photos weren’t altered and just by looking at them you could tell that the woman who appeared in them was in love with the man she was looking at.

Mac set the magazine on his lap. Maybe he will keep that one.

Susana took a breath and put the magazines and newspapers back on the table. She stopped for a second. Mac was watching her and he saw that she was trembling. He didn’t want to get his hopes up. Maybe she was furious because of those magazines and was going to blame him, so he didn’t say anything and just waited.

And tried to contain the love he was feeling.

Susana turned around and got closer to the bed. She didn’t sit down again; rather, she stopped by his side.

She took a breath and with her eyes shiny from the tears that filled them, she looked right at him.

“I love you, Kev. That night when I got home after having dinner with Quin and Patricia, I knew that I’d never be able to fill the void that you left. I’ve been in love with you for more than a year —she wiped away a tear— and I feel like an idiot for not having realized it. And…and I’m really sorry for having said those stupid things about my professional career… —another tear— I’m sorry. I don’t know why it was so difficult for me to see that you’re not capable of hurting me, that you’re the only one who fits inside my body and soul, and that without you, without you I’ll never feel anything again.” She looked at him and Kev kept silent. Susana felt the pressure in her chest, but she forced herself to continue. “When I came to the U.S. with my father, I had the horrible feeling that I would never fit in, that I would never, as much as I tried, feel at home. Changing my name from Susana to Susan, getting engaged to Tim, trying to control every last detail of my life, hasn’t helped at all.” She looked him in the eye. “It might seem stupid to you and I guess you have the right to laugh at me and ask me to leave, but when you kissed me that night at your house I felt that everything suddenly fell into place. And I got scared. I had finally found my home, and that home is you, Kev.” The tears poured down her cheeks. “I got scared and I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry. You are the home that I’ve been looking for all this time, the piece that was missing. When I am with you I can breathe, and at the same time I feel that my heart is going to beat right out of my chest. I feel like kissing you, like begging you to be inside me. I want you to hug me, and I want to hug you and know that I’m also your home, that without me you won’t be happy. Because I know that without you I’ll never be happy again. I love you, Kev.”

Mac couldn’t speak. His heart was beating so quickly that he couldn’t pull it together enough to form a sentence, so he lifted his hand, grabbed Susana’s, and pulled her towards him with all of his strength.

Susana landed next to him on the bed, surprised, and left with what little courage she still had and before she could say another word, Mac kissed her.

He kissed her, and kissed her, and kissed her.

He slid his tongue around the inside of her mouth and didn’t let escape a single breath. He kissed her bottom lip because he needed to remind her that between the two of them, besides an undeniable passion, there was love and there will always be, and he let her feel him tremble so she knew that he was scared, too.

Mac could have kissed her for hours, for days. He could have kissed her forever, but someone interrupted them by clearing their throat.

“Good morning, Mr. MacMurray. I’m glad to see you awake,” said Dr. Denton.

Mac didn’t take his eyes off Susana, and when she blushed and tried to get up off the bed, he stopped her with a smile and held on to her waist.

“Good morning, doctor,” said Mac, turning his head slowly.

“I’m afraid you’re going to have to let Ms. Lobato get out of the bed, Mr. MacMurray. Everything is showing that you’ve recovered, but I would like to do some tests before letting you go.”

“Alright, doctor. Give me a second. I have to do something very important first,” said Mac.

He then turned slowly toward Susana, and he kissed her in front of the doctor and whoever else dared to enter that room. And when he finished, he whispered to her:

“I love you.”

They released him two days later, and he and Susana left the hospital hand in hand. Thanks to a scandal related to a famous singer, they weren’t confronted with any journalists and were able to make it to Mac’s cabin without any problem. Tim and Amanda had gone to visit Mac the day before, and although the first few minutes were a bit awkward with the four of them stuffed in that small room, it didn’t take long for them to start laughing.

Actually, Amanda was the one who made the situation less awkward, planting the seeds for a future friendship.

“Well, Susan, it is a pleasure to meet you,” she said, moving closer to the other woman to give her a hug.

“Same here,” she answered, sincere but confused.

“Don’t worry. I know that there is no competition between us. It is written all over your face that you’re crazy about Mac. And it is embarrassingly obvious that Mac will rip the head off anyone who tries to take you away from him.”

“Thanks,” muttered Susana.

“What I don’t understand —said Amanda, looking first at Tim and then at Mac who was still laying in the hospital bed— is how these two idiots didn’t realize it before.

Mac didn’t say anything then, but he was convinced that if Tim hadn’t broken his engagement with Susana to go to Paris to get Amanda back, he would have stopped the wedding. Deep down inside Mac knew that he would have never let Susana marry Tim. Never.

“What are you thinking about,” asked Susana, on their way home. She was driving and they were leaving the city headed for Mac’s place.

“That if Tim hadn’t left you I would have never let you marry him.”

Susana took a hand off the wheel and reached for Mac’s knee. There she found his hand and hold it. She couldn’t hear a phrase like that without touching him.

“Thanks,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“For saying that.”

“It’s the truth. That night in L’Escalier I wanted to kiss you. When you touched me in the hall I had to really hold back so I didn’t rip your clothes off and go at it right there. I would have lost control sooner or later. I don’t know when or how, but I assure you I wouldn’t have let you marry him. ”

“I…—she licked her lip— when you came to the T.V. station and brought me the box of chocolates, I thought that I would die if you didn’t kiss me. I kicked you out because my hands hurt from how hard I had to clench them to resist the urge to touch you.”

Mac simply nodded and kept holding and caressing her hand. He couldn’t speak or breathe. He needed to focus on keeping calm and not kissing her right there while she was driving.

Luckily, they arrived home in less than five minutes, and Susana quickly but efficiently stopped the SUV in the driveway. Mac turned and when he saw how she was looking at him, his heart stopped again.

How the hell could he had spend the last year without knowing who she really was, or what she meant to him? He should have known that she belonged to him the first time he saw her.

You knew.

He got out of the vehicle without saying anything and went to the other side to get her. He opened the driver’s door and picked her up to kiss her. He walked to the cabin without separating his lips from hers and without putting her down. When they got there, he slightly leaned Susana against the door so he could look for his keys with his right hand, and when he found them, he opened the door and kissed her passionately again.

He kicked it closed and for a second thought about taking Susana to his –their– bedroom to make love to her with the desperation that ran through his veins. But he changed his mind.

He put her on the floor for a second and looked her in the eyes.

“I love you, Susana. You are everything to me, now and forever. I began to feel the first time you touched me and I’ll die the day that you stop. Without you I would have never know, so please believe me when I say that I would have never let you belong to anyone else.”

“Kev…”

She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him. His lips moved along with hers and Susana too was able to feel again, just like she did every time she kissed him. She had found her place in this world. She ran her tongue around the inside of his mouth, stroked his hair and caressed the back of his neck. Mac trembled and grabbed her by the waist, bringing her closer to him. Susana let her fingers slide down his muscular back with the intention of taking off his sweater.

Mac surprised her by taking a step forward, then another, and another, until Susana backed into the wood door. She opened her eyes and found him smiling at her.

“Of all the things that have happened between us…”

“Yes?” She encouraged him to continue when he paused and began to slide down the zipper on the side of her dress.

“There are two that I’ve always regretted.”

“Which two things?” She couldn’t breathe as she felt him slip his hand under her dress and place it on her skin.

“Not undressing you the first time we made love.”

Susana barely got her breath back.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yes,” answered Kev, before kissing her.

“And the second?” she asked. Her heart was beating frantically against her rips and she really needed for Kev to star kissing her.

“Not ever making love to you with that pearl necklace that fell down your back that night at L’Escalier,” he confessed, running his fingers precisely over that part of her body.

“The necklace is at my apartment —she said trying to focus— but we can go get it.”

Kev kissed her neck slowly.

“No, I don’t think I can wait that long,” he whispered.

Susana ran her fingers through his hair and felt him tremble.

“I think I’m going to undress you and make everything I dreamt that night come true,” he promised her with his lips pressed against hers.

“What did you dream of doing to me?”

Kev moved back and looked into her eyes. With his hand that wasn’t injured, he caressed her face and whispered:

“This.”

And he professed his love with a kiss.

After that kiss, sincere, stripped, complete, Mac moved away only to undress them both. And when they were skin on skin he made love to her just like he did the first day, against the door of his house, as if his life depended on it. But when they finished, she didn’t grab her clothes and leave frightened. Instead, she hugged him, kissed him, locked hands with him, and told him that she loved him, always had and always will. Kev, of course, needed to kiss her again and after taking them both to their room, and making love one more time they fell asleep in each other arms.