Just Tell Me (The Justice Series) (21 page)

Libby sat back down with a fresh bottle, she poured them both some wine and lit a cigarette, intrigued by the conversation emerging in front of her and how her f
riend was going to handle this. She thought Daniel MacIntyre would walk all over her quiet friend but she was becoming surprised by Nicole’s strength. 

Daniel went quiet “Y
ou don’t have a boyfriend?  You lied to me all these months, Why?”  He spat the words out “I don’t fucking believe you”.  

Nicole was shocked by his irrat
ional and aggressive attitude “Because Daniel you were a complete and utter dick, I have read all about you, I saw the magazines. What normal woman would want a relationship with a self confessed womanising idiot? 

She raised her voice and Libby looked around signally to Nicole to keep her voice down.  “
Daniel, you humiliated me on national TV and now you are mad at me for protecting myself?”

Daniel spoke again his voice softer but she could tell he had been drinking, much more than she had “
If you are telling me the truth and I hope to God you are then I need to see you now, I need to come to Manchester” he stuttered “I need you Nicole, I love you, I swear I’ve loved you since the moment I met you on that train, it’s tearing me apart”. 

Nicole couldn’t stop the tears falling, th
e words stung her entire body “Oh Daniel please don’t say that, I can tell you have been drinking and it’s not you speaking right now. Please go to bed, ring me tomorrow ok, we will speak properly then. But if you come to Manchester now I will never speak to you again, OK? Do you understand?” 

Daniel was quiet
and she continued “We will work it out I promise” Nicole was crying now and she wiped the tears away “You mean everything to me, you really don’t know the half of it” she said down the phone.

He spoke ag
ain and sounded more rational “God I’m sorry Nicole I don’t know what came over me, I just spent the day thinking it was your special birthday and I couldn’t bear thinking about you with anyone else. I had some wine and my mind started thinking too much about everything, have I ruined it now?”

She smiled, wiping the tears away
and taking a long drink “You haven’t ruined anything Daniel, look I want you go to bed and sleep it off, we will speak tomorrow” she continued “And Daniel, guess what, I’m coming to Edinburgh next weekend, we can have a proper talk face to face finally”

Daniel repeated her words “Y
ou’re coming to Edinburgh?” Nicole smiled at her friend.

“
Yes Libby has arranged a girly weekend so we can meet for coffee, yeah? I wanted to surprise you” 

Daniel
sat down on his bed “I can’t wait” he said “I’m so sorry Nicole, oh and Happy Birthday by the way.  Did you like your iPod?” 

“
Thanks” she smiled at Libby “Yeah I loved it. Look I’ve got to go, Goodnight Daniel” she said and finally put the phone down. 

Libby was staring at her and Nicole grabbed a cigarette out of the packet, she rarely smoked but needed one “
Jesus Nicole what was all that about?  What have you done to him?” 

Nicole glared at her friend “N
othing he didn’t do to himself Libby, God he’s a bit of a head case” she breathed the smoke into her lungs and started coughing “He just told me he loved me”.

Libby
smiled with her, but was concerned “You stay strong and don’t let him walk all over you or manipulate you”

Nicole looked at the ashtray thoughtfully “I don’t think he’s a control freak Libby I think he’s just a bit… erm… fragile? I don’t honestly know, it
’s like he hides behind everything, oh God I just need to see him face to face you are right. What have I got myself into?” She checked her phone again and he hadn’t texted her and she hoped he was OK. 

“Right come on, enough man trouble lets have some fun” the
y raised their glasses and Libby told Nicole about the wedding plans, she had set a date and needed Nicole to go for a dress fitting. Nicole was pleased to be talking about fun stuff, but she couldn’t shake off her feeling of concern for Daniel and his behaviour towards her.  Not another Andrew? She didn’t know if it was the wine talking that made him tell her he loved her, but she would try and find out tomorrow.

Chapter 19

Daniel sat at his kitchen table, he nursed a double espresso.  He had woken early, his head pounded and he came downstairs to find something to take the pain away but couldn’t find anything. He sat and stared miserably out of the window and watched the rain as it came down in sheets. 
What did I say to Nicole last night?
He recalled the conversation as it came back to him clearly even though he had drunk far too much. 

T
he evidence was there on the table in front of him, the two bottles of wine and the ashtray, he could smell the stale smoke in the air and opened the doors.  He could taste the wine on his tongue and he got up to make another coffee. He couldn’t do this anymore, his drinking was out of control and he knew he had to stop.  Why did he feel the need to self destruct? 

He had never had a proper relationship
even with Clare. He hadn’t even brought anyone back here, gone on holiday with anyone, or had anything normal in his life.  He felt the sadness soak through his whole body, the loneliness he worked so hard to escape from clutched at his heart.

T
oast. The hunger stabbed his stomach. He waited for the bread to pop out of the toaster spreading it thickly with butter and some jam. He didn’t even know where the jam came from, he looked at the jar. The housekeeper he employed to keep his house clean and his kitchen well stocked was excellent at her job, but he was detached from making any choices in what brand of jam he bought.
Would I choose this jam?
Daniel had not been supermarket shopping for years. The last time was when he was a student, but he mostly bought spirits with his housemates.

He looked at his phone, it was 8.05am
, too early to ring Nicole, she said she would ring him. He didn’t want to seem too desperate, he was sick of playing games, pondering the etiquette of who should ring whom, he wanted her here now and he imagined her asleep in his bed now.
How that would feel? Fucking amazing.

H
is mind wandered, to have her stuff here, a photo of them together in a frame on the table.  He used to think that was so tacky, his observed it when his single friends started a serious relationship and they moved in together and the guys house was suddenly full of stuff, pictures and clutter. He used to feel sorry for them, his friends who had to ask permission to go out, who talked about their children and emailed him their photos. Now he wanted it more than anything but it felt out of his reach. His phone beeped and he opened it.

HI HOPE ITS NOT TOO EARLY.  I CANT SLEEP IN ANYMORE.  LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE UP. WE NEED TO TALK.

He looked at the message and dialled her number straight away.

“Hi, how are you feeling this morning?” her voice was soft and caring and Daniel was expecting her to be angry at him after last night “I couldn’t sleep, I’m sorry for lying to you about having a boyfriend, you know why I said it though?” 

“I know what it looks like from the outside, you were right to keep your distance but God Nicole I would never do anything to hurt you, you know that right? You broke me when you left me at the hospital,” he took a breath “I don’t want to play anymore games, I just want to be honest with you, it’s so hard I can’t put how I feel into words over the telephone like this” he felt embarrassed “I need to see you face to face I can’t carry on like this, on sodding Facebook” he felt emotional again as he said this, he knew he sounded needy, desperate even but he was, he needed to see her. 

“I will see you Saturday Daniel, we can go for lunch in
Edinburgh, and Libby said she doesn’t mind being on her own for a couple of hours” 

“A couple of hours? That’s all I’ve got? Then what? I need more than this, you know I could be down in
Manchester in four hours, we could be having lunch” Daniel was feeling let down again, and he sensed something, as though she had something to hide.

“D
on’t you dare Daniel” concern in her voice “Please just don’t, look I’m up for my birthday it’s a girly weekend I can’t leave Libby she is paying for it. I would love to spend all weekend with you, but I have commitments”

Daniel got back some composure, his head still heavy with his ha
ngover “Why don’t you then, why don’t you come here today? I could pick you up from the train station this afternoon”

Nicole was silent and spoke coolly “I can’t do that Daniel” s
he said “I told you I have commitments. I will tell you when I see you. Look I’ve got to go but I will see you in five days, it’s only another five days, Ok? I’ve got to go”. She put the phone down.

Daniel didn’t know what
to think, something felt wrong her voice was distant, he couldn’t place it but she didn’t sound like she was being truthful with him.  He wanted to tell her on the phone that he loved her again, and he wanted to be with her but he couldn’t.  It wasn’t right, he had to say it to her face, and he wanted to convince her to stay here with him. 

He had been such a fool, he grabbed the wine bottle from the night before, he could see the amber liquid left over in the bottle and he drank
its warm contents. His stomach wretched as it reacted with the alcohol.

“Oh
God” he ran to the sink and was sick, maybe Alex was right he thought to himself, maybe I do need to get some professional help.

Chapter 20

September

The next five days passed slowly, Nicole knew she had abruptly
ended their last phone conversation but she could hear George protesting at being in the playpen. She was disappointed with Daniel for acting the way he had on the phone, in the cold light of day when she had spoken to him she wanted to hear him say he loved her again like he had the previous night. He sounded so desperate and sorry for himself. Nicole felt in control of the relationship now, she had the upper hand and she intended to keep it that way.

After Andrew she would never
let another man manipulate her. Libby had warned her Daniel might try and walk all over her and she couldn’t let that happen, but she had no idea how it would be when they actually met. When she told him he had a son? He was angry she had lied to him about having a boyfriend, she had no idea how he would react to George. She sighed, she couldn’t get him out of her head, she was nervous about Saturday and she picked up her phone and sent a message.

HI HOWS WORK? CANT WAIT FOR THE WEEKEND!

BUSY. JUST ABOUT TO GO INTO A MERGERS MEETING. HOPE YOU RECOGNISE ME! WILL I HAVE TO WEAR A RED CARNATION?

Nicole smiled, Daniel was back to his confident self, she couldn’t put the two together it was like he had two sides to his personality, she couldn’t work him out.  Then there was Alex, his best friend apparently, and she had an image of Alex, a big dungaree wearing lesbian with pig tales and giggled to herself.  Her phone beeped
and it was Libby, she was as excited as Nicole.

Libby arrived at Nicole’s house Friday afternoon, Nicole
was giving George a cuddle, she was ready to go but felt a pang at leaving her tiny son.

“O
h I’m nervous about leaving him” she kissed his head softly “Mum you will ring if there are any problems, won’t you?” she looked over at her mum who was sat across the table.

“Nicole wil
l you hurry up and go, I look after him enough, we will be fine, just go”  she smiled at her daughter “And you tell that Daniel what a beautiful son he has too, he doesn’t know how lucky he is to have you two”.

Nicole looked at Libby wistfully, “I hope you’re right mum otherwise Libby has instructions to chop his balls off isn’t that right?” 

Libby giggled, “Come on let get out of here, it’s time to party!”  The taxi pulled up outside and beeped its horn and the girls got in the back. Libby had managed to get some cheap first class tickets to Edinburgh as part of Nicole’s treat and they sat in the larger chairs a half bottle of wine was on open the table, they were pacing themselves not knowing where the night would end. 

Libby looked out of the window “I’m having second thoughts about the wedding N
icole” she confided to Nicole “There’s something missing, I just can’t place it” Libby was due to get married in four months, just before Christmas.

“Don’t be daft Libby” Nicole reassured her “
It’s just nerves, you will be fine” she smiled at her friend, but Libby continued.

“He just doesn’t do it for me, you know, sexually”

Nicole started smiling despite herself “God that’s the first time you have ever said that about a man, usually they have to escape from you, remember that guy at college who tried to climb down your drainpipe when you revealed your lacy bra?”  the girls giggled at the memory much to the annoyance of the middle aged man sat opposite who was trying to get some work done, but was clearly distracted by the conversation.  This made the girls laugh even more as he looked over and glared at them again.

They
arrived in Edinburgh and Nicole felt the memories of Daniel the moment she walked into the train station over a year ago. She was a different person now. They checked into their hotel, Libby had booked a twin room, and Nicole had a quick shower and washed her hair. Sitting at the tiny dressing table as she put her make up on, she glanced out of the window and watched the street below. People walking home from work on Friday night and she thought of Daniel. What he was doing tonight? Was he walking in the crowd of commuters right now?

She checked her phone and let him know they had checked in the hotel, he was under st
rict instructions to stay away. He would come over in a shot if she asked him to but this was her and Libby’s weekend she didn’t want to spoil it for her friend.  

Nicole opened her bag and pulled out the dress she was wearin
g tonight, it was made of soft black material with thin straps and finished just above the knee. It made the most of her waist and flared out, she slipped into it and looked at herself in the mirror. It fitted her well. Her baby belly had gone she was pleased to see her silhouette looked good after 9 months of pregnancy, her legs were toned from all the running.
I wish Daniel could see this dress.

The girls got ready and headed out into town, Nicole had arranged to me
et up with Paul and Riz later and was looking forward to seeing her old friend. They drank cocktails and wine, gossiping as they sat outside in the barmy September heat, her friend was surrounded by her usual haze of smoke as she described her lack of sex life and Nicole was relaxed and enjoying herself. It was fantastic to be out and single without a care in the world again, if only for a couple of nights. Paul text her and she arranged to meet them later on at bar near the castle, Libby went to the toilet and Nicole was sat on her own, she turned her wine glass around by it’s stem, one more little text wouldn’t hurt she thought. 

He
r head spun with the wine and she sent Daniel a message to tell him where they were heading. She felt a little bit naughty but she needed to see him tonight, she couldn’t bear it any longer. She had forgotten his face, the real one not the one on Google. Of course it would look like a happy coincidence she giggled to herself but she just had to see him tonight.  

By the time they got into the bar it was gone 10pm, the music was playing
in the background, it would get louder after 11pm when people started wanting to dance. It was a mixture of funk and dance, and the dark brown tables were dimly lit by candles. They spotted Paul and she ran up to her friend, giving him a big kiss.

“Paul it’s so good to see you, you look fantastic” she said and
the friends hugged. They ordered some shots from the bar and moved to an empty table. Nicole looked round at her friends, she was having fun whether Daniel was here or not, she decided.  The place was filling up but it was still quiet enough to hear each other as the conversation turned to Daniel and the events in the club when he rescued him.

“H
e was a mess you should have seen him” Paul described the night and Nicole cringed “And his friend Alex, well she’s just scary I wouldn’t want to meet her again” he pouted “She gave me nightmares” Riz took his hand and they all laughed. 

Nicole kept looking around the room,
was he going to actually turn up? 
She told her friends she was going to the toilet and stood up, but she wanted to scan the room and as she walked away from her table she suddenly saw him.  He was stood at the bar in a white shirt, he must have come from work she fleetingly thought as he was still wearing a suit jacket and he was talking to the bar man. She stood and watched him.
God that’s actually him, he’s here.
He was more attractive than she remembered, she slowly walked towards him, her senses were on alert and she felt nervous. She didn’t know what she was going to say as he turned round and caught her eye.

“Nicole” his eyes widen
ed and he stepped towards her “You look amazing” and he took her hands, his piercing blue eyes stared into hers, his face was naturally tanned and his hair was short and textured. Nicole closed her eyes as he bent down to kiss her on her cheek, his lips lingering a moment on her skin and she breathed in his aftershave, that smell of horse leather, pine cones and wood smoke. 

It seemed like a lifetime
since they last met, when he was in that hospital with her. She could feel her heart beating and the blood rushing through her veins as he put his arms round her and held her tightly for a moment. She ran her hand lightly up his chest and felt his muscular body through his jacket, she felt high, as though in an out of body experience but it was real. He was real, she studied his face, her son looked so much like his father.

“Nicole, oh
God” his eyes sparkled as he spoke “I’ve missed you so much, I just want to kiss you right now” he said again as he stroked her cheek, his other arm still round her waist and he pulled her even closer to him. 

“
And you are just as smooth as ever” she smiled “I know I said I wanted to just be with my friends tonight, it was bad to tell you where we were but I needed to see you”.  Nicole felt like she was in surreal dream, she had wondered what it would be like when she finally met him again, now here he was stood so close to her. He was real. She never wanted to be away from him again and she realised how much she loved him as she looked into his beautiful face. He was her soul mate. 

The moment was broken as a girl walked up to them, her dark hair was curled over her shoulders and she was stunning. She p
ut her bag on the bar and glanced over at Daniel. Nicole felt uncomfortable, she had a sudden moment of recognition, it was that same girl from the paper.

“
Hey Daniel have you got that drink yet I’m wasting away here?” she said as she looked at Nicole again. “Oh my God, you must be Nicole, I’m Alex” she said and she grabbed Nicole from Daniel and hugged her “And if he doesn’t stop going on about you I think I’m going to cut my ears off”.

Nicole laughed,
the tension was broken and she glanced at Alex. Not the image she had in her mind but she was grateful to her for getting them in contact. 

“Where are you sitting?” Daniel ask
ed, he had hold of her hand and stood close to her, Nicole pointed to her friends in the corner “Well do you think they would like some more drinks?” he asked and they came over the table with more shots and a bottle of Prosecco. 

Libby had been talking to Paul, and wondering where her friend had gone, she saw Nicole first coming through with
more drinks “At last, where have you been? I thought you had done a runner” she joked to her friend and she stopped laughing as she saw Daniel behind her. 

Nicole turned round to introduce Daniel “Libby this is Daniel
MacIntyre”.  Libby just stared at him for a moment.
Bloody hell.  He was more attractive in the flesh
.

“So you two just so happened to meet at the bar?” she eyed them suspiciously, but was distracted when Alex sat down, and she looked at
Daniel’s friend lost for words for the first time in her life. She just watched her slender arms as she poured the Prosecco and passed the glasses round the table.

“H
i I’m Alex” she introduced herself and looked over at Paul who visible cowered behind his boyfriend “It’s ok” she said dryly “You can come out, I wont bite”.

Paul loo
ked over and gave her a smile “Erm good to see you again” he said and the whole table laughed. 

Daniel lent over and shook
Paul’s hand “I believe I owe you a thank you for helping me that night”. Paul smiled at him, he couldn’t believe such an attractive man was straight, what a waste. Alex squeezed in next to Libby and they all grabbed a shot.

Dan
iel still held Nicole’s hand, he couldn’t stop watching her as she agreed with something Libby was saying and laughed. He wasn’t paying attention to the conversation the only thing that mattered in the world was her.

“I’m so sorry Nico
le for everything, I want it to work out between us” he murmured and she turned to look at him. “I’m serious”

“
It’s all in the past Daniel, we can make it right, lets just start from the beginning, put it all behind us?” she smiled at him “It’s strange, I was worried about seeing you in case you felt like a stranger in real life, but it’s….”

He
pulled his head close to hers and interrupted her “It’s like we have just picked up where we left off”

“Except I’m not covered in blood
this time?” she smiled and he squeezed her hand at the memory. “Thanks for saving me, God knows what would have happened if you hadn’t found me”

“I
t’s like we share a connection I can’t explain it, but I don’t want to, I just want to be with you” he whispered as they looked at each other, their foreheads touching, Nicole held her breath as she reached up and traced his face with her hand and he lent forward to kiss her. 

“Erm hello??”  They turn
ed and Libby threw a beer mat at them “I would say get a room but as you’re sharing with me tonight that’s not going to happen” they laughed and Alex joined in.

“And besides Daniel
it’s gross, I haven’t come out with my best friend to watch him snog his long lost girlfriend like a love sick teenager, come on” she looked at Libby “It’s usually never a dull moment when I’m out with him”.  

Daniel and Nicole sat up, their hands still entwined, he l
ooked at the table and smiled “So what you’re saying is you want a night out Daniel MacIntyre style then?”  he knocked his shot back “I’m not sure any of you are up to keeping pace with me”  Nicole felt sick at this, she couldn’t keep pace with anyone, she was never any good at late nights.