Kane, Samantha - Brothers in arms 7 (22 page)

When it was over he collapsed on top of her and their ragged breaths filled the air.

It took him a moment or two to realize she was struggling a bit underneath him.

“Sorry,” he mumbled and rolled off to lie on his back at her side.

Sarah laughed weakly. “You’re right, even missing half a leg you weigh twice as much as me,” she teased.

“What I’m missing in leg I make up for in prick,” Gideon responded drily. “At least when you’re around.”

“Gideon!” she exclaimed with a scandalized laugh. “I cannot believe you just said that.”

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He rolled over onto his side to gaze at her. His head was still on the floor, so their faces were closely aligned. “I can’t either,” he told her seriously. “I do not believe I have ever made a lighthearted joke about my leg before.”

Sarah just smiled sweetly at him.

“I have no desire to get up from the floor,” Gideon confessed ruefully. “I may perhaps be a tad sore from our exertions.”

Sarah bit her lip and looked distressed. “I’m sorry I like things like that.”

She was being quite serious, Gideon could see that, but he couldn’t stop the burst of laughter that came from him in response. She frowned at him. “Sarah, darling, I am
not
sorry,” he reassured her emphatically. “Believe me when I say you are a dream come true.” He reached over and hauled her close. Her bare skin squeaked a little on the wood floor. He winced. “Sorry.”

She wrapped her arm around his neck and snuggled into him. “I am
not
sorry,” she said, smiling.

He leaned in to kiss her just as the bedroom door opened behind them. Gideon had no time to shield Sarah, though he did wrap his arm around her protectively. He sighed with relief when he saw Charles in the doorway. Charles looked surprised for a second and then his face went blank. “Excuse me,” he muttered before he backed out and closed the door.

Gideon sighed. He had no idea how to make this work.

Sarah pushed up onto one hand and glanced over her shoulder at the closed door.

She turned a puzzled face to Gideon. “Why didn’t he come in?” Then she looked alarmed. “You two aren’t still fighting, are you?”

Gideon shook his head as he sat up. “No. I suppose he was here to tell me to hurry up. We have to leave soon and if he came in it would have delayed our departure, I’m afraid.” He covered up his unease with a smile. There was more behind Charles’ rapid departure than expediency. But now was not the time to address it.

“I forgot about your trip today.” Sarah looked so forlorn that Gideon leaned over and kissed her on the nose. She did not brighten up at the attention.

“We’ll be back tomorrow,” he assured her. “Suter’s is only half a day’s ride. I’m not willing to buy the Arabian without seeing him first.”

“I know,” Sarah said glumly. “But I shall miss you both terribly.”

Gideon crawled over to his crutches, grabbing his shirt on the way. At Sarah’s words he stopped and looked at her. “Good,” he said. That got a smile out of her.

Charles watched Gideon kiss Sarah on the cheek before he pulled himself up onto his horse. The kiss was like a knife to Charles’ gut. This morning it had been clear they didn’t need him any longer. For the first time that he knew of, Gideon had been with Sarah by himself. And from the looks of it they had both been more than satisfied with the experience. Although why they were on the floor was a mystery.

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He had known it would happen eventually. He’d been encouraging it. Gideon was her husband and was now intimate with her as a husband should be. So why was he desolate now that it had happened? And where did that leave him?

Gideon adjusted his seat in the saddle. He hated to ride. He hadn’t always, of course. As a former cavalry officer he had once practically lived atop a horse. Charles watched him fit his stump into the special pocket sewn into the side of the saddle for just that purpose. Gideon’s cheeks were flushed and his lips thinned. He was embarrassed. Charles almost snorted in disgust at him. There was nothing to be ashamed of, but Gideon couldn’t see that.

Sarah was staring at him now. Charles recognized the longing in her eyes. He’d like to kiss her goodbye too. But they couldn’t, could they? They would never be able to do that like she and Gideon. He spun his horse away and started toward the end of the drive. “Come along, then,” he said gruffly to Gideon. He tried to ignore the hurt he saw on Sarah’s face. She’d better get used to it. This was how it was going to be. They had no choice.

“Goodbye, Mr. Borden,” she called out in a wavering voice.

Charles stopped his horse with a sigh. He capitulated and turned around, walking the horse back to her side. Gideon had not moved and sat there watching him. Sarah rested her hand on his Bay’s side when he stopped. “Goodbye, Mrs. North,” he said formally. He reached down and took her hand, carrying it to his lips. He made sure to keep the kiss chaste as the grooms were still about. But her hand tightened on his and he returned the pressure. It was all he could do. It wasn’t enough.

* * * * *

“Well, that was an all but useless trip,” Gideon commented angrily two days later as they neared Blakely Farm. “No Arabian to show for it and a day late getting home.

Damn Suter and damn his bloody, shoddy roads.”

Charles smiled grimly. “Yes, I believe you may have said that. Several times to him.

And possibly five hundred times to me.” He patted his Bay’s neck soothingly as it became skittish from Gideon’s tone.

“He’s damn lucky I didn’t call him out after Granger stumbled in that hole. Who leaves a bloody hole in the middle of the road? Particularly idiotic for a man who trades in horses.” Gideon’s horse was used to his tirades. He’d had Granger in the war. The horse had grown lazy the last several years, standing around waiting for Gideon’s infrequent, reluctant rides. The grooms took him out, but Charles had seen how happy Granger was to have Gideon on his back again. And Gideon had been glad too, after he’d gotten over his initial bout of self-consciousness.

Charles had indeed feared that Gideon would call Suter out. Gideon had been livid.

First the unkempt road, Granger’s stumble, and then Suter had set an outrageous price for an Arabian that was almost past his prime. They had to stay an extra day to make sure Granger was all right. Gideon didn’t want to ride him and do more damage. But 116

Love’s Fortress

Granger had seen much worse in the war and he was fine. As Gideon had grumbled, it was definitely not worth leaving Sarah at home alone.

They had both been in a horrible temper for the last two days. The trip home had been spent in almost complete silence broken only by Gideon’s grumbling. It was an awkward silence. That was unusual for them. Their silences were normally enjoyable.

But today there was too much unsaid between them to make the silence restful.

Charles was dreading the night. He knew that Gideon would want to be with Sarah tonight. He’d talked of little else besides her the last two days and the agony of being apart. And Charles would have to concede the night to him. He, not Charles, was Sarah’s husband, after all. And he no longer needed Charles with them. Knowing what awaited him did not make Charles less eager to get home and see Sarah. He had been silent on the subject, but he missed her as much as Gideon. He sighed with pained resignation. He’d thought he could handle this much better. He’d known going in that he would play third to Gideon and Sarah’s marriage. But it was hard. Hard because he didn’t like being pushed aside in Gideon’s life, and hard because he was barred from all but Sarah’s very private life.

“We’re here,” Gideon remarked excitedly as the drive to Blakely Farm came into view. He spurred Granger and the horse gave a surprised snort before breaking into a canter. Charles’ heart gave a lurch and then he followed Gideon down the drive.

Sarah paced past the window again. She’d been watching the drive for hours.

Where were they? They’d not sent a note. She’d heard nothing. They should have been back yesterday. What if they’d been set upon by brigands on the road? Had Gideon fallen? Was he injured? Or was it Charles? Gideon would not leave his side if he were ill.

She turned to the window and rubbed her arms from the chill of uncertainty that had her in its grip. It could be something simple. A horse had thrown a shoe. The negotiations for the Arabian had taken longer than planned.
Or they were dead on the
road
, she thought in despair. She covered her face with her shaking hands. When had she become such a ninny? And what would she do if something had happened? She couldn’t catch her breath as she fought the tears.

Then she heard it. The sound of a horse coming up the drive. She pressed her palms to the window as she looked out hopefully. It was Gideon. Thank God, it was Gideon.

Sarah flew out of the front parlor and out the door. She had to grab the stair railing to keep from tripping over her feet as she ran down to the drive. She lifted her skirts and kept running. She could see Charles now too, and she sobbed with relief as she rushed to meet them.

“Sarah!” Gideon cried out as he pulled his horse to a stop next to her. She reached a hand up to him as he bent over, concern on his face. “What is it? Are you all right?”

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She could only reach his hand, and she pressed her face to his leg. “You’re back,”

she cried. She could feel the silly tears falling, and she sniffed. Her nose was running.

They’d been gone two days and she was acting like a fool.

Charles came to a stop behind her and she turned to him with a watery smile. He slid from the horse’s back immediately and came to her. He hesitated when she thought he would reach for her. She took the final step and wrapped her arms around him. “I was so worried,” she told them both. “I didn’t know what happened. You didn’t send a note. I thought…” Another sob escaped and she bit her lip. She back stepped, pulling Charles with her, not letting go. Her back touched Gideon’s horse and then she reached out and wrapped an arm around his leg again while clinging to Charles with the other.

“I was so worried,” she said again lamely.

“Help me off this damn horse,” Gideon growled. He gently extricated his leg from Sarah’s arm. Charles kept one arm wrapped around Sarah’s waist, hugging her close as he reached up and gave Gideon a hand down. It was awkward, and when Gideon’s foot touched the ground he buckled slightly. Charles held him up. Sarah quickly went to his other side and put her arm around his waist so that he held on to both her and Charles with his arms around their shoulders. He pulled them in closer until they were all huddled there together in the lane. “Sarah,” he whispered, kissing her temple. “I’m sorry. Suter said he sent a servant with a message. I’m not surprised to hear it didn’t arrive.” He snorted. “The man is an imbecile.”

Charles chuckled. “Yes, he is.” He kissed Sarah’s cheek. “I should have made sure the message was sent. But things were so unorganized there, and Granger had stepped in a hole—”

“Oh,” Sarah said with complete understanding. She peered over Gideon’s shoulder.

“Is he all right?”

“The bloody horse if fine. I, however, am in a state of extreme discomfort,” Gideon grumbled.

“Oh, Gideon, I’m so sorry.” Sarah started for the horse to get the crutches strapped to his side. Gideon held tight and didn’t let her move.

“No, Sarah. I don’t need them. I need you.” She looked at him quizzically and he glanced down. Sarah followed his gaze and gasped in shocked understanding. He was hard as a pike.

“Gideon,” she whispered glancing around nervously. The grooms had run over from the stable and were nearly upon them.

Charles pulled back from their embrace. “I’ll get your crutches, Gideon. I need to wash and change my clothes, anyway.” He gave them a polite smile. “I shall see you both at supper.”

Gideon didn’t release Charles either. He looked at him with growing dismay. “I thought you were angry. But that’s not it at all. You’ve been feeling sorry for yourself.

Bloody hell.” He frowned fiercely. “You will accompany us.”

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Charles got a mulish look on his face. “Oh, I will?” He straightened his shoulders belligerently. “And I do not feel sorry for myself. What rubbish is that?” He scoffed.

“About what, I ask you?”

“I want you.”

Sarah’s eyes grew round at Gideon’s statement. He wasn’t speaking to Sarah this time. She found she was holding her breath. Did he mean what she thought he meant?

Which, of course, she had suspected all along.

Charles regarded him with suspicion. “I did not think you needed me there anymore.”

“Need has everything to do with it,” Gideon replied coolly. He glanced tellingly at the grooms now waiting to take the horses. “We shall discuss it inside.” He motioned the grooms over. “Harry, hand me my crutches. Mrs. North and Mr. Borden are getting tired of holding me up.” The groom looked surprised at Gideon’s comment but quickly recovered and brought Gideon’s crutches to him. “Please see to the horses,” Gideon asked politely, earning another odd look from the grooms. “And Harry, Granger stepped in a hole. I believe he is fine, he showed no ill effects on the ride home. But keep an eye on the right foreleg.”

“Yes sir,” Harry replied respectfully as he led Granger away. The horse nickered as Gideon patted his side.

Gideon turned to her and Charles. “And now, inside, both of you. This discussion is long overdue.”

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Charles entered the bedroom reluctantly. He wasn’t sure what Gideon had to say to them, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear it. He’d dreamed of hearing Gideon say he wanted him for so long, and yet now that he’d said it Charles was afraid. What if it didn’t mean the same to Gideon that it did to Charles? What if Sarah didn’t want to hear any of it?

Sarah sat on the edge of the bed watching them with wide eyes. She’d been characteristically quiet since Gideon’s pronouncement. What exactly did she think of this situation?