Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 2.3 - Into the Light (6 page)

“She’s okay, I think.” He sounded calmer than he usually did when he was talking about me and Robyn. “Actually, it might be good if you came out. I think she has the same questions I do, about what you were doing making out with Ryan on Main Street last night.”

I’m normally pretty quick, but this was not a normal situation. “What?”

“After you had drinks with him at the Fireside, and before you went and picked up dinner at Bart’s.” I really couldn’t get a read on how Danny was reacting to all this, and that was unusual, because normally he’s pretty transparent. It was just one more thing to worry about.

“Uh….”

“Yeah. So, if you wanted to check on your horse, I think that’d be fine. But be prepared to deal with some curiosity.” Danny waited, but I still hadn’t pulled myself together enough to be coherent. Danny finally took pity on me. “Evan probably doesn’t know yet—I didn’t hear anything until I got to the barn and talked to Robyn.”

“How did
she
know?”

 

“Dude, you know Robyn. She’s the center of a gossip-ring that
Into the Light | Kate Sherwood
spans five counties. Of course she knew.”

 

That made sense. Shit. I’d been stupid, thinking that I was going to have any privacy on this. “Can I call you back later?”

 

“Okay. But you should talk to Evan—he’s not crazy about Ryan, but he’ll take it better if he thinks you’re being upfront about it.” “Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you later.” I clicked the phone shut.

Evan glanced over with a curious look, and I tried to remember what my side of the conversation would have sounded like. I’d tried to be discrete, but I wasn’t sure I’d managed it. I decided to bite the bullet. “So, uh—I had dinner with Ryan, last night.”

Evan frowned in confusion, then smiled as he came up with a theory he liked. “Are you being a super-spy? Is he back for Danny, do you think?”

“Uh—no, I’m not being a super-spy. And I don’t think he’s back for Danny. He, uh—we actually—I don’t know, I’m thinking about giving the gay thing a try.” I said it as casually as I could, but I was pretty sure I still blurted it out a little fast at the end.

“The gay—
which
gay thing?” Evan sounded confused, and it seemed to be contagious.

“Uh—I don’t know. Is there more than one?”
“Are you saying you’re interested in him? Like, you’re
dating
?”

I took a deep breath. This was harder than I’d thought it was going to be. “I don’t know. Maybe. I’m, you know, exploring the possibility.” He didn’t say anything for an uncomfortably long time. Finally, he said, “With
Ryan
.”

 

“He seems like a good guy. And, you know—from your perspective, it makes it pretty clear that he’s not interested in Danny. Right? He wouldn’t be messing around with Danny’s best friend if he
Into the Light | Kate Sherwood

thought that the two of them had a chance.”
“That’s—yeah, okay. But that’s not why you’re doing it.”

“No.” There was something weird going on in the road ahead, a flashing light and a bottleneck of traffic. I let Evan concentrate on his driving until we were past the two cars that had apparently both decided to be in the same lane at the same time. It gave me a chance to collect myself a little. “It might not be a big deal. But we’ve talked about this. I’ve always been open to the idea, in theory. But I just never met anyone I wanted to try it with.”

“And now you have. Ryan.” Evan twisted around and looked at me for longer than I was comfortable with. And not just because I wanted his eyes on the road. “What’s so special about him?”

“I don’t know. Nothing, maybe. But he seems like a good guy. And he’s physically—I don’t know, fit. And good looking, I guess.” That didn’t sound too enthusiastic. “He’s—” Damn. What
was
so special about him? Evan and I had talked about bisexuality lots of times. He had a long history with both sexes, and my best friends were gay. So, after a couple drinks, we’d speculate, and theorize. I’d always said that I wouldn’t have sex with a guy just to have the experience—I was pretty happy with the sex I’d been having with women. I’d said that if I met someone and we hit it off, then I wouldn’t let the fact that we were both guys get in the way of developing a relationship. I thought that was still a pretty good philosophy, but I wasn’t really sure how it fit in to whatever I was doing with Ryan. Was I just experimenting with the sex, or did I really think there was a chance of building something real with him?

“He makes it seem okay.” I was a bit surprised when that came out of my mouth, but I thought about it, and I was pretty sure it made sense. “He makes it seem like everything’s okay. If I want to try, that’s fine, and if it doesn’t work out, that’s fine, and if it does, that’ll be fine too. You

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know?”

 

Evan nodded, but he was frowning. Not like he disapproved, but just like he was thinking. “Dan likes him.”

 

“Evan, don’t fucking start with that…”

“No, I didn’t—I didn’t mean he
likes
him. I meant—Dan says he’s a good guy.” Evan seemed like he was fighting to put his ideas in order. “When Dan first came out here, Jeff and I were dealing with some of our own stuff, and Ryan—he was there for Dan. He was a friend.” He glanced over, then back to the road. “And Jeff and I always thought he was hot. Before Dan came out, when we’d go and hear the band. There’s something about a guy with a guitar. And he’s got a good voice—that little bit of huskiness in it.”

I was genuinely touched, watching Evan work through this, finding ways to like Ryan just to make things easier for me. But I would never actually admit that. “He has nice skin.”

“His skin, huh?” Evan was clearly trying to call up a memory. “Nice and golden, even in the winter. Like it’s just his natural skin tone.” Evan looked over at me again, but this time the concern in his eyes had been replaced by mischief. “Maybe you could clarify that. Is it the same color where the sun don’t shine?”

“We really haven’t got all that far, Evan. And if we had, I wouldn’t be telling you about it.”

Evan shook his head, his face serious. “No, man, if you’re going to be gay, you need to learn the rules. You have to tell all your friends everything about your sex life. In graphic detail. That’s the way it goes. The whole ‘don’t kiss and tell’ thing—that’s just for with chicks. With guys, you don’t have to pretend to be a gentleman.” He waited for a reaction, but I didn’t know what to say, so he continued. “Also, you’ll need to start wearing your pants a bit tighter—men are visual, and we want to see the goods. And if you could figure out some way to develop a

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slight lisp, that’d be best, I think.”
“You are the worst gay-guide I’ve ever had.”

“Well, maybe I’m just the most honest. You need to think about that possibility.” He got a little more serious. “What’s Dan say about all this?”

Yeah. That was my next challenge. “I don’t really know. That’s what I called about, last night. I haven’t exactly talked to him about it yet.”

“Huh. That should be interesting. He’s got a weird protective streak about you, sometimes. Then again, he does like Ryan. So maybe he’ll want to be protective of him, instead. Either way—have fun, man.”

“Yeah, thanks, that’s really helpful.” I didn’t want to make things heavy, but I wanted to say something more. “But, really—thanks. For not over-reacting, or whatever. This was a good dress rehearsal for talking to Danny about it.”

“And you can have lots more practice, after I tell everyone at work! So, what terminology are you going with? Full-on gay, or are we saying you’re bisexual? Bi-curious? Oooh, maybe just ‘queer’—that’s what all the cool kids are being these days.”

I let him babble on. If he
hadn’t
been harassing me, I’d have been worried, but as it was, it was just another morning commute. He was right, though—it could be a bit tricky to have the same conversation with Danny. I listened to Evan with half my brain, while the other half tried to figure out the easiest way to talk to my best friend about my little adventure.

***
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Evan and I got sucked into actual work as soon as we opened the office door. We might joke about being lazy, but Evan was running a multi-billion dollar company, and while he was pretty good of delegating authority, there was still a lot of stuff that he had to deal with himself. He wanted me involved in most of it, since it seemed like practically everything ended up having to go through the legal department at some point or another. He had an afternoon meeting with his Chief Financial Officer that I figured I could skip, so I ducked out of that and went back to my office. My secretary made her usually comments, asking who I was and what I thought I was doing in there. I made a point of dropping by at least a couple times a day, which wasn’t hard since I was three doors down from Evan, so I know she wasn’t seriously feeling neglected. All the same, I wondered if I could get somebody to make a life-size cardboard cut-out of me—I could put it in the window of my office, right behind her desk, so I’d be staring down at her all the time. That would be fun. And working on that project would be an excuse to not have to call Danny. But I’d have to face up to reality sooner or later.

“I’ve got to make a personal call, Shelley—can you keep people away?” She nodded, and I believed her. Except—“That includes Evan. If he comes by, tell him to fuck off, okay?”

“Chris, if I’m allowed to tell my bosses to ‘fuck off’, I think I’d start a little lower down the company hierarchy, you know?” She gave me a meaningful look to make it clear just where she’d start.

“Well, that’s a nice ‘hostile work environment’ you’re creating there, Shel. Bring me your personnel file when I’m done with the call, okay?” But that didn’t solve the problem of Evan coming to harass me. “Tell Evan—tell him he’s already going to hear all about the call from the people at both ends of it, so he really doesn’t need to hear it firsthand.” She shook her head in mock disgust as she turned back to her

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computer. “And
women
are gossips.
Women
waste their work time on personal issues.
Women
talk on the phone for hours.”

“I’m glad you can see all that without me having to point it out. Recognizing your weaknesses is the first step in becoming stronger. Work on that, okay?” I shut the office door behind me. The blinds on the big windows facing into the main office were still open, and I didn’t bother to shut them. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this call, but I was pretty sure that I wasn’t going to be crying, or anything. At best, Danny would be supportive and not make a big deal about it. At worst, I could always just hang up. That was the advantage of doing this over the phone.

Danny picked up on the second ring. “Chris, hey. I’m at the barn— should I go get Robyn and put you on the speaker?”

That was a promising start. Joking Danny usually meant relaxed Danny. Although it wasn’t a totally sure thing. “I don’t know, man. Ryan and I talked about you a bit—do you want Robyn to know about all of your sexual inadequacies?” And that should have been a reasonable response, except that apparently it was still a bit too soon for me to be thinking about sex and Danny at the same time, because I got a quick, vivid flashback to the way he’d sounded the night before. Damn it, I’d known at the time that it was wrong for me to eavesdrop—now I was being punished for my behaviour.

But Danny didn’t know any of that. “Give me a second, then—I’m going outside.”

 

“Go see Ginger—give her a carrot for me.” If I couldn’t visit my horse, at least Danny could.

“Oh, sorry, Ginger got loose the other day—she’s gone. She looked like she was heading for Kentucky. Maybe you could call your parents and see if she ever turns up out there.”

“Don’t joke about my horse, dude. Give her a carrot.” “She’s in the back pasture. She’s got plenty of grass, and I’m not
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going to walk that far just because you’re afraid of an ex.” There was a pause, and a rustling noise. I assumed Danny was getting himself comfortable. “So, speaking of your sex life….”

Yeah, that. “Uh—yeah, well, really you already know pretty much all there is to know. I had dinner with Ryan last night. I’m—I don’t know. I’m exploring my options.”

“Seriously? You’re—okay, are you just—” There was a longer pause than what I was used to from Danny. Apparently he was picking his words pretty carefully, which was unusual for him. It didn’t do much good, though, because when he finally put some words together, all he had was, “What’d you have for dinner?”

Damn, usually Danny had at least a couple normal comments before he got totally random. Still, I tried to play along. “Uh—steak, and side dishes. From Bart’s—you said you knew we’d gone there.”

“Yeah—hey, are you on the after-hours list, now? Jeff’s been trying to get them to sell to him after closing for years.”

 

“Why doesn’t Jeff just get Evan to buy the damn place?” “Well, that’s not how they play the game. Hey, what side dishes did you get? Did you get those rosemary potatoes?”

Danny’s obsession with the food was starting to get a bit annoying, especially when I realized that I couldn’t really answer the question. “Uh—I don’t know. Potatoes, and something green. And a salad.”

“Caesar? Or the Greek?”

Jesus. I was pretty sure I’d have noticed if there had been huge chunks of vegetable and feta floating around, but I honestly couldn’t remember. “Caesar,” I guessed. Apparently I hadn’t been paying a whole lot of attention to the food, which was weird, because I loved Bart’s stuff. “Nice. Kinda garlic-y, though. But I guess that’s okay if you both

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had it.” I waited for the innuendo to be moulded into a totally invasive question, but apparently something else had distracted Danny. “Hey, did you know that Ryan’s afraid of horses? I mean—what a pussy!”

“Just because you’re used to them doesn’t mean that he’s a pussy for
not
being used to them. They’re pretty big, you know.” Danny wasn’t usually so judgmental, especially considering that Ryan was a friend of his. I wasn’t sure what he was up to.