Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 2.3 - Into the Light (8 page)

“I don’t—I don’t really know what that means.”

“I think you do. Not in concrete terms, but as a general principal, you do.” He was watching me closely, assessing my response. I felt like he was already shifting into the more dominant role, already being the one to make things happen. I wasn’t sure what I felt, but I knew it was strong. His voice was still soothing, but it was exciting, too. “In concrete terms, it’s not something that you need to worry about. If you’re willing to give this a try, then the concrete stuff is all my problem.”

“I can’t just turn my brain off.” I had a sudden memory of Dan, the night before, the sounds he’d made, the way he’d been completely open, completely free. Maybe his brain hadn’t been turned off, but he hadn’t been letting it get in the way of what he was doing. “What would—what would it be like? How would it be different?”

He only hesitated for a moment before he was leaning towards me, his fingers knotting in the hair on the back of my head, his lips on mine. The kiss wasn’t rough. It was probably less physical pressure than earlier kisses, but somehow I felt it more. His tongue came forward immediately, not waiting for an invitation, and he held my head firmly in place. The stools were tall and I barely noticed him shifting to his feet, but I felt him

Into the Light | Kate Sherwood

pull one of my legs to the side, making a space for himself to stand between my thighs. But he didn’t stand so much as lean, his whole body moving into mine, taking charge, taking possession.

It was too much, and I pushed his shoulders away. “Wait,” I gasped, and he stepped back immediately. I was overwhelmed, and I felt unbalanced, but I was also rock hard.

“Not good?” he asked. “Too much?”

 

I didn’t know how to respond. “No—it was good. And I don’t think it was too much. I just need a second to catch up.”

 

“Do you? Or should we be trying to keep you from catching up, trying to stop your brain from ruining our fun?”

“No. I—I know what you’re talking about. I get it. You’re right, the mental is—it’s harder. It’s scarier.” I couldn’t believe how easy it was to say stuff like that to him. “But the physical is new, too, right? I just— you can still be in charge if we go a bit slower, can’t you?”

His grin was beautifully evil. “Fuck, yeah. We can go slow. We can go as slow as you want.” He didn’t quite make it sound like a threat, but I definitely got the idea he had a plan. He was still smiling as he reached for the wine bottle and refilled our glasses. I was ready for him to get back to business, but instead he stepped away from me and walked around the counter over to the oven. “We should eat. I put some time into this damn bird.”

The shift was sudden, but I couldn’t really argue. I guessed I was hungry, although it was pretty far down my list of physical demands at the moment. But if he wanted to play it cool, I could play along. “Okay. It does smell good.” I tried to ignore the way my zipper was digging into my dick.
I felt like I was still off balance, but I didn’t have that weird sense

Into the Light | Kate Sherwood

of disconnection that I’d had earlier. If anything, I was
too
connected, too aware of every damn thing in the room. Well, no. I was mostly too damn aware of Ryan. Every move he made showed me his body from a slightly different angle, pulled his clothes across his muscles in a slightly different way. He was good in the kitchen, efficient and confident, and that was sexy, too. I really didn’t know where I was going with all this—I’d gone from ambivalent to totally enthusiastic in about two minutes. Was it just because I was being contrary, and didn’t want to let him be the one to decide we weren’t working? Or was there actually something valuable in the whole ‘relinquishing control’ idea?

“Hey, you—no thinking, over there.” His voice was teasing, but maybe the message wasn’t. He was holding two plates in front of him, loaded with chicken baked with a bunch of different vegetables, and it looked good. But he looked better. I tried to focus on the food, tried to get myself back under control, but he didn’t make it easy. He set the plates on the counter and then scooted his stool over closer to mine, so that when he sat down our legs were touching. He took a sip of wine, and I watched the way his throat moved as he swallowed. I can’t say it didn’t give me ideas. But pretty much every thought evaporated out of my head when he put the glass down and brought his hand over to rest on my thigh. It was casual, almost friendly, except that he’d chosen a spot pretty high up on my leg, and his fingers were stretching dangerously, tantalizingly close to the tight bulge beneath my zipper.

He hadn’t glanced down, and wouldn’t have been able to see through the overhang of the counter anyway, but he couldn’t be unaware, surely. I felt like the heat from my dick must be radiating out in almost visible waves. But he didn’t say anything, just picked up his fork with his other hand and speared a browned chunk of potato. “Eat up,” he suggested. “We might need the energy.”
Jesus, that was a cheesy line, but it worked anyway. I was almost

Into the Light | Kate Sherwood

ashamed of my reaction. Was I going to be
that
kind of a date, giving in immediately, not even making him use his best material? My thoughts were disrupted when he wiggled the fingers on my thigh, just gently, as if he were doing it absentmindedly. But I was pretty sure he’d had a goal in mind.

I obediently took a bite of chicken, and it was enough to temporarily distract me. “Damn, Ryan, this is really good!”

 

“Clay bakers, man—they’re excellent.” He shrugged modestly. “And, you know—I’m a pretty good cook, too.”

 

“Damn. A chef, a rock star, a chair-carrier—you are multitalented.”

“You ain’t seen nothin’ yet.” His grin was wide enough to take the cheese out of the line. The movement of his fingers, a fraction of an inch closer to my throbbing, impatient cock, was enough to make me pretty much incapable of even remembering what the line was.

I tried to focus on eating, but Ryan had apparently decided that my thigh wanted a constant, gentle massage from his hand. And he wasn’t wrong—my leg was definitely enjoying the attention, and my cock wasn’t complaining either. But the whole situation wasn’t really conducive to relaxed enjoyment of a meal.

We didn’t talk much; I don’t think I was the only one shovelling the food into my mouth as quickly as I could, looking forward to satisfying a different appetite as soon as the dinner was taken care of. But Ryan was playing it a bit cooler than I was, and when my plate was clean, I glanced over to see him taking another sip of his damn wine and watching me with a thoughtful smile. “You’re okay? This is—you’ve got the power, right? I mean, you can say no at any time, and I will absolutely—well, I’ll absolutely try to get you to change your mind, but until you do….”
“Yeah, I get it. I know the rules.” I knew them from his side, not

Into the Light | Kate Sherwood
the side I was currently on, but as different as the feelings might be, the structure was familiar.

 

“Okay.” He took a final bite of roast carrot, then slipped off the stool and collected our plates. My thigh missed the contact with his hand.

He put the plates in the sink, then opened the fridge door and pulled out two glass dishes with something chocolate-y in them. Then he turned and looked thoughtfully at me. “I’m not super-hungry, really….”

I wasn’t sure where this was going, but I knew the cue. I could never stand it when women wouldn’t eat a full meal on dates, but in this case, I didn’t have an objection. “No, I’m pretty full.” My whole body was electrified in anticipation.

But instead of putting both desserts back in the fridge and getting on with the good stuff, he replaced only one of them, then pulled a single spoon out of the drawer and returned to his stool next to me.

He set the bowl on the counter and scooped up a spoonful. “Chocolate hazelnut mousse,” he said. “Homemade. It’s pretty good.” Then he held the spoon out towards me, offering a taste.

I’d seen a nature show on this, once. It looked at all these mating rituals from the human world, and found animal equivalents. They’d called this ‘courtship feeding,’ or something. I couldn’t remember what the animal equivalent was… and there I was again, thinking instead of feeling. I wasn’t sure how I felt about being on the receiving end of this little game, but I opened my mouth anyway, and Ryan slid the spoon inside like it was the most natural thing in the world.

I let the rich chocolate roll around in my mouth a little before swallowing, and I knew Ryan was watching. That was fine. It was good, even. And the mousse itself was delicious. I was pretty sure that at another time, it would be commanding a lot more of my attention. Right then, though, it was barely noticeable.
Ryan fed himself a spoonful. It wasn’t an elaborate show, but he

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was going a little more slowly than he probably would generally, and he kept his eyes on mine the whole time. The next spoonful was for me, and then another for him, neither of us saying a word. I was still hard and ready to move on, but I was beginning to get the idea that wherever we were going, Ryan was going to take us on the scenic route.

Two more mouthfuls and then he left the spoon in the empty bowl. He leaned towards me and put both of his hands on my thighs, but a little lower than before. I noticed that he had shifted himself around a little in his own jeans, and I felt better. I wasn’t acting like some horny highschooler; or at least, if I was, I wasn’t doing it alone. “I guess we should have talked about this before, but—what are you looking to do, here? Physically, I mean.” His voice was a little tighter than usual, and there was a husky note that I hadn’t heard before. I wanted to hear him say something more, but I tried to focus on my question instead.

“I’m pretty open, I think.” My own voice sounded odd in my ears. Quieter than usual, and more hesitant. “You’re the expert, right? And you’re the one in charge. Whatever you think is good….”

“Yeah, but you’re the one I’m trying to please. Have you—are you thinking you want full-on sex? There’s lots of other stuff we can do that’s good.”

It would have been easier to concentrate on what he was saying if he wasn’t massaging the tight muscles of my thighs at the same time. “I think—yeah, I’d be into full-on sex. I mean—if I’m doing this, I should
do
it, right?”

“Lots of gay guys don’t. It’s not mandatory or something.” He smiled shyly. “But, yeah, it’s pretty good. I like it.”

 

My mind flashed back to the sounds I’d heard from Danny and the guys. I guessed I didn’t really know what they’d been up to, but in my imagination, there had definitely been penetration. I wanted that. “Okay.
Into the Light | Kate Sherwood

Yeah.”
“And—tonight? Or do you want to build up to it?”

I wondered what the standards were. I knew a lot of women had that stupid third date rule. Usually the same women who wouldn’t eat in front of me. I figured my best bet was to ignore the rules and just be honest. “I think I’m up for it now, if you want.” The next bit was more confusing. “I think you were right—the physical isn’t that big of a deal for me. I mean, I’ve thought about it quite a bit. I’m ready to go. If you want.”

Ryan’s smile was wide and genuine. “Yeah, Chris. I want.” He slid his hands up my legs to my waist, and tugged a little. “Let’s go find a bed, okay? I want you horizontal.”

That fit in with my plans perfectly, and I obediently stood up and let him lead me out of the room. It was a bit weird, holding hands with a guy, but he kept his grip light, barely more than a brushing of fingers, and it made me feel safe, somehow. It made me want to follow him wherever he was leading.

Into the Light | Kate Sherwood
CHAPTER SIX

We went down a short hallway to the bedroom. Instead of turning on the overhead light, Ryan hit the switch on the bedside lamp. Then he turned to face me, keeping one hand locked with mine as he ran the other gently over my shoulders and chest, exploring. His fingers dropped down to brush over my achingly hard cock, the first real acknowledgement he’d made of my arousal, and he smiled before leaning in to kiss my neck. He increased the pressure on my cock, rubbed it through the tightened denim, and I didn’t catch myself in time to keep my hips from rocking forward, seeking more contact. Then I remembered that I wasn’t supposed to be catching myself. If Ryan was in control, that meant I didn’t have to be.

Ryan needed both of his hands to start undoing the buttons on my shirt, and I felt a little stupid, just standing there. Then it occurred to me that I’d like to see a bit more of his skin, too, so I reached for his buttons and he smiled as he kissed me. I tried not to think about Evan’s question about Ryan’s skin where the sun don’t shine. Or at least, I tried not to think about the Evan part—the question itself was pretty interesting.

Our shirts got shrugged off onto the floor, and it was a bit weird, for that to be all there was. No bra to tease through and eventually unhook, no breasts to discover, just Ryan’s strong chest with a fine dusting of golden hair. He waited as I brushed my fingers through the hair, and I saw the skin around his nipple pebble with goosebumps when I got close to it. That was interesting, but then his hands were on me, not rough, but stronger than any woman I’d ever been with, slowly kneading and exploring up from my waist, over my ribcage and to my own nipples.

“They don’t really do much for me,” I began, but I didn’t continue. He had brought his mouth down to one and was sucking and kissing it gently, and, yeah, it really didn’t turn me on, but it seemed to make him
Into the Light | Kate Sherwood

happy. I was just resigning myself to a boring few minutes when I felt the sharp pain of his teeth. I gasped in surprise and was ready to shift away from him, but then he was licking and kissing again, soothing the hurt, and that felt pretty good, actually. I’d been with a few women who liked to nip, but I’d made it clear that I wasn’t into it, and they’d stopped. I guessed I could do the same with Ryan, but maybe that didn’t fit into the whole abandoning control idea. I was still thinking about it when his hand came up and found my other nipple, and he pinched that one, hard, at the same time he nibbled the first one again. “Jesus,” I started, but the soothing mouth was back, and it was actually starting to feel really, really good.