Katie Opens Her Heart (20 page)

“
Gut
evening,” he managed. “Is it okay if we sit out here awhile?”

“
Yah
.” She led the way to the swing and sat down.

He sat beside her and looked out across the fields. With that smile of hers his thoughts had forsaken him. The glow of her beauty had appeared for just a moment. Why was the woman so friendly tonight? he wondered.

“I hope you didn’t mind my sending Katie to the door,” Emma said, glancing sideways at him.

He cleared his throat. “Of course not. I expect you were busy. I guess I have to stop these sudden trips over here. I know I’m making a nuisance of myself.”

Emma looked away and didn’t say anything.

Jesse waited. Whatever Emma was preparing to say couldn’t be easy. She was obviously struggling for words.

“I’ve been thinking…” Emma’s voice came out a whisper. “I’ve been thinking about you…coming over here. And…and about what you asked me…and about what I told you.”

“
Yah?
” Jesse waited. When she didn’t continue, he added, “I know I spoke plainly about what I was interested in. If I have troubled you, I’m sorry. I came tonight again…in the hope I could ask again and perhaps better express my understanding of what I believe
Da Hah
is telling me.”

“You keep coming,” she said, not looking at him. “Even when I told you I wasn’t interested.”

“
Yah
,” he allowed. “It is my way. I do not know any other.”

“Do you plan to force my hand?”

Jesse glanced at her, his look sharp. “I wasn’t meaning that at all. I would never try that, Emma.”

She pondered the words, and Jesse settled back into the porch swing, waiting again. Whatever was troubling her, he wanted to hear the details. The discussion might not lead to the question of marriage, but if Ruth could bring pecan pies over to tempt his heart, he could listen to a woman’s troubles in the hope of winning hers.

When Emma still said nothing, he offered, “I’m sorry if I’m not courting you properly. I know I’m not exactly a youngster anymore. At my age I find it hard to think of driving home from a Sunday evening hymn singing doing a proper courting.”

A hint of a smile formed on Emma’s face, but she shook her head. “It’s like this…” Emma paused and her voice grew stronger. “I’ve been thinking about your offer to wed me.” She gave him a quick glance out of the corner of her eyes.

“
Yah
?”

Her voice trembled. “Is this still what you wish?”

“Emma…” He reached over to touch her arm. “Of course it is. I wouldn’t be here if that wasn’t what I wanted.”

She stared across the fields before meeting his gaze. “What if I told you I was willing to wed, but that I don’t love you?”

He grasped her hand now. “Emma, this is often the way it is between older people who have been married before. We can’t expect our hearts to pound like two wild, young folks’s hearts.”

A thin smile spread across her face and then vanished. “What if I never love you, Jesse? I mean, I would be with you, yes, but what if my heart were never truly yours?”

He held her hand for a long moment before replying. “You had a great love for Ezra, didn’t you?”

She nodded.

“I would not hold that against you, Emma.” He took both of her hands in his. “My heart also hurt deeply when Millie passed. But
Da Hah
can bring about something new between us. I believe this with all my heart.”

Emma hung her head. “That may be your faith, but it’s not mine…yet. And there is something else…”

“
Yah
?” Jesse waited again.

She finally met his eyes. “A big part of the reason I’m considering this, Jesse. It’s because of Katie. She needs a
gut daett
.”

“For Katie?” He wrinkled his brow. “Katie’s a decent girl, I thought.”

“Katie has taken up with the Mennonites,” Emma whispered.

“Oh.” His voice fell. “I did not know this.”

Her fingers moved in his. “Does this change your mind, Jesse? If it does, I won’t hold it against you.”

He caught his breath. “Emma,
nee
, it does not. But I don’t know if I can be of much help with her if her mind is set.”

“You can,” she said without hesitation. “You would be a
gut daett
for Katie, regardless of what happens. You might even win her back to our faith.”

He was staring at her now, her words having sunk in. “You would wed me…because of Katie?”

Her gaze was steady. “I have told you the truth. That is part of the reason. I will not hide behind a lie. I think that
Da Hah
is no doubt very displeased with my life right now. There are changes I need to make, but I still will not hide the matter from you.”

His thoughts raced. This was something he hadn’t expected. The woman was willing to accept his offer partly because of what he might be able to do for her daughter. Well, she was being honest. What more could he ask of her? He glanced at her again. “And what if I fail in winning Katie back to the faith? Would you regret your decision to wed?”

She didn’t wait long before answering. “I don’t think so. Katie needs a
daett
, and I think you’re a man with whom it would be easy to live with. And I know I need to change. Ezra would want that for me.”

“Thank you.” Jesse looked away. The woman spoke plainly; there was no question about that. But he must also make his confession. His conscience wouldn’t allow any other option. He squeezed her hand. “There are some things I must also confess.”

“You?” She gave a little laugh.

“
Yah
, me. I was just thinking of Ruth Troyer and her pecan pies.”

“Ruth Troyer!” Emma sat upright on the swing. “What does Ruth Troyer have to do with you and pecan pies?”

“I just finished eating one of her pies before I came over here.”

“You’ve been asking her to bake pecan pies?” Her eyes narrowed a bit.

He laughed. “Believe me, it was the other way around.”

She settled back into the swing and stole a glance at his face. “Has Ruth been getting anywhere with those pecan pies?”

“Would I be here if she were?” He gave her a warm smile.

She looked away. “Perhaps not. But does this mean you’ll be wanting pecan pies every week?”

Jesse laughed. “That was a question I forgot to ask you. Can you bake pecan pies?” He grinned.

The man has a sense of humor
, Emma thought with a slight smile. “Not like Ruth can,” Emma admitted. “Nobody can bake pies like Ruth.”

He gave her hand a squeeze and then reached up to touch her face. “Emma, I am teasing. For someone as sweet as you—and as beautiful—why would I need pecan pies?”

“You really are a tease, Jesse. How will I ever get used to you?”

He smiled. “I know I won’t have any problems getting used to you.”

He used both hands to turn her face toward him. She didn’t resist and met his eyes. But her lips trembled as her hands reached up and rested on his shoulders.

“Emma,” he whispered, “I already love you more than I should.”

“You are too
gut
for me, Jesse. You shouldn’t even be…”

He touched her hand. “There is something else I must tell you, Emma. It won’t make any difference to my purpose or heart, but it should be said.”

“
Yah
?” Her eyes searched his face.

“Most of my children don’t wish me to marry you.”

She pulled away from him. “But you still came. Why?”

He shrugged before admitting, “Because I love you, Emma. And I know we can make it work with
Da Hah
’s help.”

She didn’t answer but buried her head in his shoulder.

Chapter Twenty-Four

The next morning Katie awakened to
Mamm
shaking her by the shoulder. “Get up! It’s already late.”

Sitting upright, Katie threw the bedcovers aside to climb out of bed.

Mamm
didn’t say anything more. She left, her footsteps fading down the stairs.

It can’t be that late
, Katie thought, looking out the bedroom window. She stood up, trying to recall what had happened the previous evening. Jesse Mast had visited again. The memory was clear now. She could hardly believe her eyes when
Mamm
sent her to the door. Had
Mamm
known anything about Jesse’s coming? She hadn’t mentioned anything, so it was unlikely. And what had the two talked about out there on the porch swing for so long?
Mamm
wouldn’t be changing her mind about marrying Jesse, would she?
Nee
, that seemed next to impossible. Katie had tried to stay up late to talk to her
mamm
, but she became sleepy and finally went to bed with Jesse and
Mamm
still on the porch. There had been no sound of Jesse’s buggy leaving before she’d fallen asleep.

Dawn was now breaking, red streaks of light running skyward.
Mamm
was up early, so she must be feeling
gut
about whatever happened last night. Katie pulled on her chore dress and went downstairs.
Mamm
had already left for the barn, so Katie went into the washroom and pulled on her boots. She headed for the barn. A few stars were still out on the western horizon, twinkling above the roofline of the barn. Katie pushed open the door to see
Mamm
bringing in Molly and Bossy through the back door. The two cows mooed at the sight of the piles of feed lying in front of the stanchions. Bossy made a dash for it, arriving first as usual. Behind Bossy, Molly lumbered along and put her head through her stanchion to eat.
Mamm
snapped the two neck sleeves into place.

Katie moved closer. “Okay, tell me what happened last night,
Mamm
. You’re acting strangely this morning.”

“I’m not acting strangely,”
Mamm
protested, but she avoided Katie’s gaze.

“
Yah
, you are,” Katie insisted. “So you might as well tell me what happened.”

Mamm
met Katie’s eyes. “I have agreed to marry Jesse.”

“You’ve agreed to marry Jesse!” Katie could scarcely believe her ears. “That’s a miracle,
Mamm
.”

A slight smile crept across
Mamm
’s face. “Maybe and maybe not. I think it’s for the best.”

Katie was puzzled. “But
Mamm
, that’s not like you at all. I was hoping for something like this, but…” Katie let the thought hang.

“Weren’t you the one pushing me to marry him?”

“
Yah
, I guess. How did Jesse talk you into this?”

“I guess even an old woman can change her mind,”
Mamm
said, handing Katie a milk bucket. “It was hard, but I’m glad I did it. Jesse is agreeable and,
yah
, I’m coming around slowly.”

Katie stood there for a minute before she sat down beside Molly and began milking. It seemed so incredible!
Da Hah
was clearly moving right in front of her eyes. If
Mamm
’s heart could be changed, anything was possible.
But
…She paused to think. Something wasn’t right here.

“
Mamm
?” Katie leaned out to look around Molly. “Why did you agree to marry Jesse?”

Mamm
didn’t say anything, and Katie was about ready to ask again when suddenly
Mamm
spoke up.

“I thought it would be best—for you and for me.”

“Does this have anything to do with my going to the Mennonite youth gathering?”

Mamm
took even longer to answer. “It might be best if Jesse and I keep our reasons between the two of us. There are some things that can only be shared between a man and his future
frau
.”

Katie leaned her head against Molly’s flank as she began milking again.
Mamm
never changed her mind without a
gut
reason. Could Jesse have brought some new reason to light last night that persuaded her? If he had, it must really have been something. But hadn’t
Mamm
asked her that night she went to the birthday party if she would change her mind about attending Mennonite youth gatherings if…

“What are you thinking?”
Mamm
had come over to stand beside Katie with her milk bucket in one hand.

Katie stood up. “Are you marrying Jesse because of me? Tell me the truth,
Mamm
.”

Mamm
drew in a deep breath. “
Yah
, but only in part. I’m sorry, Katie, but I didn’t know what else to do. I can’t go on like this by myself. I need a husband. I see that now.”

“You mean to help with me?”

Mamm
’s gaze didn’t waver. “You’re a wonderful daughter, Katie. I have no complaints in that area, but you are considering attending more Mennonite gatherings. And that’s something I can’t handle by myself. But it’s more than that…”

“And you need Jesse’s help?”