Katie Opens Her Heart (21 page)

“
Yah
, Katie. I admit the fact.”

Katie held her breath for a long moment. “
Mamm
, I won’t stop going to the Mennonite gatherings because of what you and Jesse plan. I do want you to marry him. In fact, I’m very excited about it. But I don’t believe you should agree to marry him because of me.”

Mamm
touched her arm. “Don’t worry, Katie. I believe things will turn out okay. Jesse and I spoke for a long time last night. We both agree that our problems can best be handled together.”

“What problems?” Katie asked and then winced as the thought hit her. “Am I now a problem?”

“
Nee
, Katie,”
Mamm
said. “Jesse has problems with his children. They need a
mamm
just as you need a
daett
.”

Katie took a deep breath. “You’re not telling me everything,
Mamm
. What is it?” Mamm was silent, so Katie continued. “Well, then when is the wedding? Or is that also a big secret?”

A shadow crossed
Mamm
’s face. “We haven’t decided yet. But soon. We won’t be waiting too long.”

Katie caught the look and said, “
Mamm
, why are you troubled? You had best tell me.”

“It’s not what you think.”
Mamm
’s eyes sought Katie’s face. “Please, just trust Jesse and me on this.”

Katie waited, not moving.

Mamm
stiffened.
Oh, please forgive me, dear
Hah
, but I can’t keep this from my daughter
. She faced Katie. “The truth is that most of Jesse’s children don’t want me as their
mamm
.”

Katie froze and then half turned around. The two cows behind her were bathed in the morning sunlight streaming through the barn window. Hanging from the ceiling, the gas lantern hissed, its light a feeble effort against the power of the sun. Bossy switched her tail and snapped Katie on the arm. The pain stung just like
Mamm
’s words. They went deeper than the pain in her arm—even to her very soul, turning there into a flaming fire of shame.

Of course Jesse’s children didn’t want
Mamm
. She should have guessed it.
Mamm
was Emma Raber, which was even worse than being Emma Raber’s daughter. That would also mean they didn’t want Katie in their family either. This miracle had more thorns than any rose she’d ever seen. Why was
Da Hah
making them go through this?

“It’s not as bad as it sounds,”
Mamm
said. “Jesse and I talked this through. I won’t tell you everything he told me, but I believe everything will be okay. I’m going over to spend time with his children soon. Jesse thinks we should start getting to know each other better as quickly as we can.”

Katie knew shock was written all over her face, and she couldn’t help the words that came out of her mouth. “You’re going over to meet people who don’t like you? How can you do that,
Mamm
? They’re not going to change their minds.”

“They’re Jesse’s children,”
Mamm
said. “They will do what their
daett
tells them.”

“Does Jesse think children are just little people who can be pulled around by strings?” Katie asked. “How can he put all of us in this situation? It’s not right.”

“It’ll be okay.”
Mamm
swung her bucket of milk. “That’s all I can say about it now.”

Katie had no response, so
Mamm
continued. “That’s enough about it. We’ll just have to trust
Da Hah
. And now we must finish the chores or you’ll be late for work.”

Katie remained silent as they worked. She threw down hay for the horses and turned the cows out into the barnyard. Her emotions were in turmoil. This couldn’t end well. She thought of Mabel. She had such a fierce will. Mabel as a friend would be a
wunderbah
thing, but Mabel against her would be an awful problem. Katie had wanted a
daett
so badly, but now she could see the wedding…
Mamm
and Jesse saying the marriage vows. Afterward, they would all move into the same house, and Mabel would be scowling at her across the breakfast table each morning. Mabel might have to accept her
daett
’s decision on whom he married, but she wouldn’t have to open her heart to either Emma or her daughter. Hearts were things that couldn’t be pried open by man. She knew that from experience.

Yah
, she’d wanted this, but now that it was here, her trust in
Da Hah
had fled far away. There was no way she could live in a house where she would always be disliked and known only as Emma Raber’s daughter. Here at least she lived as Katie, and the Raber name only followed her outside these walls. Now
Mamm
was asking her to move where it would follow her into the most private sanctuary of her life. No Amish boy would ever want to bring her home to such a place.

“Come!”
Mamm
pulled on Katie’s arm. “A
gut
breakfast will give us both courage.”

Katie said nothing as she followed
Mamm
into the house. It would take much more than a
gut
breakfast to solve these problems.

Chapter Twenty-Five

During breakfast Katie and
Mamm
continued their talk.
Mamm
told her more of the things Jesse had said last night. He’d spoken about
Da Hah
’s leading and of love growing again in their hearts. Jesse said that nothing was impossible with
Da Hah
, and that this could well be a miracle straight from heaven. The words sounded strange coming from
Mamm
, but Katie already believed them in her own heart, so there was really nothing to disagree with.

How fast things could change! It almost made one’s head spin. And maybe that was the way
Mamm
had felt about her not that long ago. She imagined that could be possible. One thing she knew for sure—
Mamm
had finally opened her heart to Jesse’s love, even if it was for the wrong reason. But Katie wasn’t going to cut off her relationships with Margaret and Sharon just because of this. Especially not with the problem of Jesse’s children ahead of her. Now more than ever she needed
gut
friends. Besides, that wasn’t the way
Da Hah
worked. He didn’t begin something of value only to throw it away the next day. Her new friendships with Sharon and Margaret were definitely something of great worth…and from
Da Hah
Himself.

“You have a good day now!”
Mamm
said after they’d hitched Sparky to the buggy and Katie had climbed in. “I’m thinking things will work out okay.”

“I’ll see you this evening,” Katie said, trying to smile. She left the buggy door open and waved to
Mamm
as she went out the lane and turned toward the Royal Farms intersection. She allowed Sparky to take his time. Even with the extra moments spent talking with
Mamm
, she wasn’t running late. Katie sat back in the buggy seat and allowed the morning air to flow over her face. It felt so
gut
to relax after the news
Mamm
had told her about Jesse’s children.
Mamm
had tried to put a positive and hopeful spin on the subject by saying Jesse could handle things. But Katie knew that her
mamm
dreaded facing Jesse’s children. All the signs were there when
Mamm
thought she wasn’t looking. The silent stare and the worried look when any mention of Jesse’s children came up.

This is not going to work
, Katie told herself. But just as quickly the thought raced through her mind,
Maybe I’m wrong
. Maybe Jesse’s children would accept them in the end.
Mamm
seemed so sure they would. Maybe
Da Hah
would touch the lives of Jesse’s children in the days ahead and bring about change. That would also be a miracle. So many had been happening already, could there be another one? Katie sighed. She would wait and see if
Mamm
was right. If Jesse persuaded his children to change their minds, it would be a
wunderbah
thing to attend church on Sundays and the hymn singing in the evenings and have people think of her as Jesse and Emma Mast’s daughter.

Katie looked up to see a buggy approaching. She froze on her seat. It was Ben Stoll’s buggy. Ben must be working out in this direction again. All of the feelings for Ben came rushing back. Would he wave this morning? Katie held her breath as the buggy went past. A faint flicker of an arm flashed in the window of the passing buggy after she waved.
Yah
, Ben had noticed her. He really had! And he had waved!

Katie tried to slow the pounding of her heart as the sound of Ben’s buggy died away. Maybe this was another sign of what
Da Hah
was doing. Where might this end? Katie let happy thoughts flow over her as she passed Bishop Jonas Miller’s place. The bishop’s
frau
, Laura, was coming out of the barn. She paused to wave at her. Katie pushed the buggy door open and wildly waved back. Let Laura think what she wanted. And let Mabel despise her if she wanted to.
Da Hah
was on her side.

Katie arrived moments later at Byler’s. She unhitched Sparky and tied him at his usual spot along the back fence. An
Englisha
car roared in behind her, and Katie jumped. Esther always did like a grand entrance, and this morning Katie was glad for it. It matched her own happiness. She waited until Esther had parked and climbed out of her car.

“It’s so good to see you this morning!” Esther gushed. “It seems like a year ago since I saw you even when I know it was only yesterday.”

Katie smiled and nodded. With Esther, it wasn’t necessary to speak a single word. She apparently had plenty to say all by herself as she chattered away.

“There’s so much going on, it seems. There’s another gathering later this week, and with all the busyness at work…” Esther led the way toward Byler’s employee entrance.

“There is a lot going on,” Katie agreed when Esther had stopped talking long enough to catch her breath.

Seconds later Esther’s stream of words began again. “There’s this big shindig this Saturday night at our place, and I’m inviting our youth group and some other special people.”

Katie was walking fast, trying to keep up and listen at the same time.

“Anyway, we’re roasting hot dogs and marshmallows over a bonfire after we cut wood at Widow Grace Harmen’s place. We’ll sit around and eat, and talk, and have a grand time. I’d like you to come. If you will, I’ll pick you up at 6:30.”

“I would love to come!” Katie said as they went in the store. “It’s nice of you to invite me even though I’m not really part of your youth group.”

“Oh, you are almost,” Esther assured her. “I know Margaret and Sharon would be really disappointed if you didn’t come. I was on the phone twice with Sharon since the birthday party, and she asked about you both times. And the gathering is for a worthy cause—helping an elderly widow get enough wood in for the winter. I wouldn’t think of not having you there.”

“I… um…” Katie swallowed hard. She planned to go, but she didn’t wish to leave the wrong impression by being too eager. She still had roots in her old life.

“I won’t hear any objections,” Esther interrupted. “And if you don’t come, I’ll tell Roy. He’ll come down and pick you up personally. Now what would your mother think if a Mennonite boy pulled into your front yard to pick you up?”

“You wouldn’t!” Katie gave a nervous laugh.

“Oh, yes I would!” Esther said, smiling over her shoulder as she raced away.

Yah
, she would indeed, Katie thought as she watched Esther disappear behind the deli counter. She would accept Esther’s offer—even if it meant another
kafuffle
with
Mamm
. Katie was going to walk through the door
Da Hah
was opening for her.

“Good morning!” Arlene said from right behind her.

Katie jumped again.

Arlene laughed. “Thinking about some charming young fellow now that you’re running around with the Mennonites?”

Katie tried to get a quick laugh out, but it sounded more like a snort.

“The time is coming closer, you know,” Arlene went on, “when some charming fellow takes you home—whether he’s Mennonite or not.”

When Katie didn’t say anything, Arlene continued her teasing. “Your heart is going to go pitter-patter all the way home.”

“Stop it,” Katie said with a smile. “Nothing like that is going to happen. My friends are all girls.”

“Ah, so you’re going to play hard to get then.”

“Quit it!” Katie said. “It’s not like that at all.”

Arlene smiled but didn’t say anything more.

Katie took her place at the register, and moments later Mrs. Cole appeared, greeting them cheerfully.

“Good morning, girls. I hope everyone is ready to go. It’s going to be a big day again. Our anniversary sale begins today.”

“
Gut
morning,” Katie said. “I’m ready!” And she was, Katie thought, even if she faced some tough days ahead.

Katie received her first customer moments later. A younger woman with a baby sitting in her cart sucking on his thumb. “Hi there,” Katie cooed. The baby broke into a big smile, his thumb falling into his lap. “What’s his name?” Katie asked as she rang up the woman’s items.