Katie's Redemption (12 page)

Inside, Elam turned to his mother. “I will not be long. I know where the tools are. Where shall we meet?”

Sally turned around slowly, awe written on her face.

Nettie pulled a red shopping cart from the line. “I may be a while. I need several bolts of fabric and some thread. Hopefully they will have the sewing machine needles I need here and we won’t have to go to another store.”

Spinning to face her, Sally said, “I don’t mind if we have to visit more stores.”

“I’m sure it won’t take me long to find things for Rachel. Why don’t we meet in the food court,” Katie suggested, gesturing to a collection of booths and fast-food counters off to the side of the doorway.

Elam smiled and rubbed his stomach. “
Jah,
a cheeseburger and French fries sounds yummy.”

Katie grinned. Eating out was a rare treat. One enjoyed by every member of the family.

Nettie took Sally’s hand. “Let’s see if we can find you some shoes that fit. Then you can help me pick the fabric for my new dresses.”

Elam strode toward the hardware department as Nettie and Sally went in the other direction. Left alone, Katie strolled through the store. Row after row of bright summer clothes in every color of the rainbow beckoned her. After trying on several pairs of jeans and finding one that fit, Katie draped them over her arm and left the dressing room.

A pair of teenage girls were holding up tank tops and shorts in front of a mirror. Katie stopped beside them to hang up a pair of pants she didn’t want. As she did, one
of the girls began snickering and pointing. Katie followed their gaze to see what was so funny. She saw Sally admiring the shimmering material of a dress on one of the mannequins.

What a contrast. Sally wore a simple dark blue dress beneath her black cape. Black stockings and sturdy black shoes with little heels adorned her feet. Her head was covered with a wide-rimmed bonnet. They were the same style of clothes every Amish woman wore. Yet so much more than clothes separated Sally from these other young women.

Katie’s thoughts turned to Rachel. Which world did she want for her daughter? Until Katie had met Elam and his family, her choice seemed simple. Now she was seeing the Amish in a new light. Her brother’s views weren’t the views of all Plain people. Malachi was an unhappy man who took his sour mood out on those around him. She understood that now.

One of the shopping teens pulled out her cell phone and snapped a picture of Sally. “Why do they dress so stupid?”

Katie answered the girl, although she knew the question hadn’t been directed at her. “They dress that way because they wish to be separate from the world. Their clothing and even the shape of their head coverings identify them as part of a special group.”

“What does being separate from the world mean?” the other girl asked.

“That they have chosen to live a life they believe is pleasing to God. To do that, they must reject worldly things such as electricity and cars, bright colors and jewelry, even phones.”

“No electricity, no TV, no iPods—that’s just dumb.” The taller girl shook her head and the two of them laughed as they resumed their shopping.

Katie threaded her way between racks of clothes on her way to the infant department. How funny was it that she should be the one explaining about Amish practices? Matt would be laughing his head off if he were still around.

With a start, she realized she hadn’t thought about Matt in days. The man occupying her thoughts lately had been Elam. She thought about his ready smile, the way he was always willing to help his mother or his sisters with their work in addition to his own. The way he enjoyed talking to and rocking Rachel in the evenings. He was so different from her brother. So different from Matt.

Katie had to admit she was falling hard for Elam. Her head told her there was no future there, but the heart rarely paid attention to what was smart.

As Katie rounded the corner into the infant section, she stopped short at the sight of a beautiful baby dress on display. Pink satin with short, puff sleeves trimmed with lace, it had a row of pearl buttons and bows down the front. Katie reached out to finger the silky cloth.

“Is that how you want Rachel to grow up?”

She turned to see Elam leaning on a shopping cart behind her.

He nodded toward the dress. “Do you want her to value fancy clothes, to think our ways are stupid?”

“Of course I don’t.”

But once she had felt that way. Until a few weeks ago Katie had been determined to return to the outside world. She had a choice now.

Elam straightened and stepped closer. “I heard what you said to those young women. You said we have chosen to live a life that is pleasing to God.”

“That’s what I was taught.”

“But is it what you believe?”

Was it? It was hard to put into words what she believed. No one had ever asked her that question. Elam stood quietly waiting for her answer. She said, “I believe people of all faiths can choose to live a life that is pleasing to God.”

His eyes bored into hers. “Is that what you are doing, Katie? Are you living a life that pleases God?”

K
atie had no answer for Elam’s questions. Instead, she said, “It won’t take me long to get what I need for Rachel, then I’ll be ready to leave.”

“All right. I’ll wait for you in the food court.” As he turned away, she glimpsed a deep sadness in his eyes and couldn’t help wondering why he cared so much.

When she had what she needed, she crossed the store to the sewing center. She found Nettie talking to another Amish woman next to a table of solid broadcloth bolts in an array of colors. Lavenders, purples, darker greens, mauves and even pinks were all acceptable colors for dresses in their church district.

Nettie caught sight of Katie and nodded in her direction. The other woman glanced her way, said something else to Nettie and then walked off without acknowledging Katie.

Nettie held up a length of green fabric. “What do you think of this one?”

“I like the mauve better.”

“For me, yes, but for you this dark green would be a good color.”

“You don’t need to make me a dress.”

“No, but I want to. I’m tired of seeing you in those jeans all the time. Now don’t argue with me.”

Katie debated a moment, then said, “All right.”

Nettie’s brows shot up in surprise. “You aren’t going to argue?”

“If you want to make me a dress, I won’t stop you.”

A slow smile spread across Nettie’s features. “And you will wear it to church services tomorrow?”

So that was the hitch. Katie’s conversation with the young shoppers and with Elam came to mind. Perhaps it was time she started living a better life and not just existing in her present one.

Anyway, just because I go to a church service doesn’t mean I’m thinking of joining the Amish faith. Does it?

Was she really considering returning to the strict, devout life she once hated? To her surprise, she found that she was.

She met Nettie’s hopeful gaze and nodded. “
Jah.
I will wear the dress to tomorrow’s preaching.”

“
Wundervoll.
I was worried you would refuse.” Nettie’s relief was so evident that Katie instantly became suspicious.

“Who was the woman you were talking to when I came up?”

Nettie busied herself with choosing thread to match her fabric. “Oh, that was the new deacon’s wife.”

“What did she want?”

“Eada was shopping for fabric, the same as me.”

“But she said something that upset you. I saw your face.”

“Eada likes to repeat gossip, that’s all.”

“And the gossip was about me.” A horrible sensation settled in the pit of Katie’s stomach.

“It’s nothing. Nothing. Where did I put my purse?”

“Nettie, you don’t lie well.”

Sighing in resignation, Nettie said, “Some of the elders don’t like that you are staying under the roof of an unmarried man. I said, ‘What am I? A doorpost?’ I chaperone you.”

“Oh, Nettie, the last thing I want is to make trouble for you and Elam.”

“Talk will die down when they see what a fine woman you have become.”

Katie wasn’t so sure. Her old insecurities raised their ugly heads. She’d never fit in before. What made her think she could fit in now?

The following morning Katie was the last one to leave the house. Nettie was already waiting in the buggy. Elam stood at the horse’s head.

Katie slanted a glance in his direction. He gave her a gentle smile. “You look Plain, Katie Lantz.”

From Elam, it was a wonderful compliment. She knew she had to be blushing.

The dark green dress and white apron she had on fit her well enough. Made without buttons or zippers, the dress required pins to fit it to the wearer. To Katie, it felt strangely comforting to be back in Plain clothes. It was the only thing comforting about the morning. Worrying about how she would be accepted at the service had her stomach in knots.

Katie handed Rachel up to Nettie. The baby, swaddled in a soft, white woolen blanket, wore a small white bonnet. Katie had borrowed a
kapp
from Nettie for herself, but wisps of her short hair kept escaping her hairpins. She might pass for an Amish woman to an outsider, but the church members would know differently.

The trip to services took nearly half an hour. With each passing mile Katie became more nervous. When the farm came into view, she drew a deep, ragged breath and tried to brace her failing courage.

Suddenly, she felt Elam’s hand on hers. He didn’t say anything, but the comfort in his simple touch gave her the strength she need. After a long moment, he let go to guide the horse into the yard. When he pulled the horse to a stop, Katie was ready.

She took her place beside Nettie and her daughters on one side of the room. After the first hymn the preaching started. As she listened to the minister, she noticed two little girls in front of her squirming on hard benches. Some things never changed.

At one point, Katie left to nurse her baby. In one of the bedrooms at the back of the house, a second young mother on the same mission joined her.

Katie learned the woman was Bishop Zook’s daughter-in-law, the wife of Aaron Zook and a neighbor of Elam’s. As the two of them exchanged pleasantries, Katie learned their children were almost the same age. Discussing their infant’s temperaments, their funny quirks and motherly concerns made Katie see she wasn’t that different from any mother, Amish or otherwise.

When Rachel was satisfied, Katie returned to her place
beside Nettie. The second sermon, conducted by Bishop Zook, was heartfelt and moving.

A great sense of peace came over Katie. She held tight to the presence of Christ in her heart for the first time in a long, long time. All that she had worried about drifted away. She was one of God’s children and she had been called to this place by His will.

Throughout the long service, Elam was constantly aware of Katie across the room from him. What was she thinking? Was she only pretending piety to stem the gossip or to appease his mother? He didn’t want to believe it, but how could he be sure?

In spite of his best intentions, he had grown fond of Katie and Rachel. In his mind, it was easy to see them all becoming a family. What would it be like to spend a lifetime with Katie at his side? To see her bear his children? How he wanted to watch Rachel grow into a young woman, to see her marry and have children of her own.

These were things he wanted, but he kept them closed off inside his heart. He didn’t dare give voice to them for if Katie took Rachel and left their community, he would grieve their loss more deeply than any other in his life.

When church came to an end, he followed the other men outside. It was warm enough that the homeowners had decided to set out the meal picnic style in the yard.

A volleyball net was soon up in place between two trees on the lawn. Several dozen of the younger boys and girls quickly began a game. The cheering and laughter from participants and onlookers filled the spring afternoon with joyous sounds.

Elam spied Katie watching the game, a wistful look on her face. She stood on the edge of the lawn by herself, except for Rachel in her arms.

Elam loaded two plates with fried chicken, coleslaw, pickled red beets, fresh rolls and two slices of gooey shoofly pie. He carried them to where she stood. “I’ve brought you something to eat.”

She smiled and rolled her eyes. “What is this
thing
you have about feeding me?”

“I don’t like skinny women.” He held out one plate.

Lowering herself to the ground, she leaned back against the trunk of the tree and placed Rachel on her outstretched thighs.

“If you think I’m going to get fat just to make you happy, think again.”

“One plate of food will not make you fat.”

“Ha! Do you know how many calories are in that peanut butter and marshmallow spread?”

He sat beside her. “No, and I don’t want to know.”

She took the plate from his hand, set it on the grass and picked up the slice of homemade bread covered with the gooey spread. She bit into it and moaned. “Oh, this is good.”

The words were no sooner out of her mouth than the volleyball came flying toward them. Elam threw out his hand to protect Rachel as the ball landed beside her. Katie caught it on the bounce. Holding her chicken between her teeth, she threw the ball back to the players.

Elam sat back, relieved they were both okay.

“Nice toss,” Sally said as she dropped down at Katie’s feet.

“It was a fluke. I don’t have an athletic bone in my body.”

“You didn’t play ball when you were younger?” Elam asked.

“No.” Shaking her head, Katie took another bite of her meal.

Sally scowled. “Why not?”

“Malachi didn’t like it.”

“Your brother sounds…
premlijch.
”

Katie laughed. “Yes,
grumpy
is a good word for him.”

Sally shot to her feet and grabbed Katie’s arm. “Well, he’s not here, so come and play.”

“I can’t. I have a baby to watch.”

Laying his plate aside, Elam held out his arms. “I’ll watch her.”

“There! Now you have no excuse.” Sally clapped her hands together.

After a moment of hesitation, Katie gathered Rachel close and turned toward Elam, a look of uncertainty in her eyes. “Are you sure you don’t mind?”

In that moment, he knew Katie had wormed her way past all the defenses he’d set around his heart. He smiled and said, “Go.”

Grinning, she handed him the baby and shot to her feet. Elam leaned back against the tree with Rachel propped against his shoulder as Katie joined the game in progress.

She missed the first ball that came her way. Hiding her face behind her hands, she doubled over laughing at her own foolishness. The second time the white ball came flying toward her, she hit a creditable return.

Hearing cheering for her, he twisted his head to see his mother and sisters sitting on a bench near the house.
Nettie and Ruby, their hands cupped around their mouths, were yelling instructions.

It seemed that Katie had wormed her way into more hearts than just his.

He glanced down at Rachel’s sleeping face. “What have I let myself in for, little one?”

There was no help for it now. He was well and truly on his way to falling in love with Katie Lantz.

Katie felt like a kid again. No, she felt like the kid she’d never been allowed to be.

Racing over the fresh new grass, she chased a ball that she’d hit out of bounds. It rolled to a stop at the feet of Bishop Zook.

He said, “You are out of practice, Katie.”

Breathless, she scooped up the ball and nodded to him. “
Jah,
I am.”

“When your game is over, come and speak with me for a little while.”

She felt her smile slip away. “Should I come now?”

Shaking his head, he said, “No, it will wait. Go and enjoy this beautiful day that God has made.”

Katie returned to the game, but some of her enjoyment was lost. At the end of the match, she checked to see that Elam was still okay holding Rachel, then she excused herself and went to seek the bishop. She found him loading a large picnic basket into the back of his buggy.

“Are you leaving?” Maybe she could put off this conversation.

“In a little while. My wife and I are taking some food to Emma Wadler. Her mother is recovering from a broken
hip and Emma is having a tough time running the inn and taking care of her.”

“I think I remember Mrs. Wadler.” It was easier to make small talk than to find out why the bishop wanted to see her.

“It was good to see you back among us, Katie, dressed Plain and attending services. It makes my heart glad. For we know there is more rejoicing in Heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous ones who do not need to repent.”

She looked down, unable to meet his gaze. “Thank you, Bishop.”

“Many of us have doubts about the path God wishes us to follow.”

Looking up, she asked, “Even you?”

“You have no idea how I struggled with my decision to become baptized.”

“Really?”

He smiled at her. “Really.”

“But you’re a bishop.”

“It was a path I never wished to trod, but
Gott
chose me. Without His help, I could do none of this. Let
Gott
be your help, Katie. Be still. Be at peace and listen with your heart to His council.”

“I’m trying to do that.”

“If you find
Gott
wishes for you to stay among us, we shall welcome you with open arms.” He began rolling down the rear flap on his buggy.

Katie glanced to where Elam sat talking to Aaron Zook and his wife. Both men held the babies while the women of the congregation were busy packing up their hampers of leftover food. Numerous children, reluctant
to give up their games, were kicking the ball across the grass with shouts of glee.

Wasn’t this what she wanted? Didn’t she long to be a part of a family, a part of a community? It wouldn’t be an easy life, but it would be a life of belonging.

Impulsively, she turned back to the bishop. “When does
die Gemee nooch geh
begin?”

He paused in the act of fastening the leather flaps. “The class of instruction to the faith will be starting after the next church day.”

“Thank you, Bishop.”

He looked over her head. “Ah, here is my wife. I believe there is something she wishes to say to you.”