Katie's Redemption (15 page)

“Because that’s the way it is. You didn’t really want to marry me, did you? Let’s be honest with each other.”

He looked taken aback. “I came here to do just that.”

“You came to appease your conscience and because you wanted to offer your mother the comfort of having a grandchild. It was a good thing, but it isn’t reason enough to marry me.”

“So you’re going to stay and marry the Amish farmer, is that it?”

“No.”

He drew back, a look of confusion on his face. “I don’t get it. You just said that’s what you want.”

“I love Elam and his family. I always wanted a loving family, but it wasn’t until I met Elam that I came to understand I’ve always had one. I belong to the family of God. Elam helped me to see that I am Amish.”

“Okay, I’m missing something. Why don’t you want to marry him?”

“I do, but Elam doesn’t believe that I’m staying out of my love for God. I didn’t know it myself until a little while ago.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ll go to Malachi in Kansas. I can stay with him until I find a job and a place of my own.”

“You’ll be getting child support from me. That should make things a little easier.”

“Thank you, Matt.”

“It’s the right thing to do. I just wish I hadn’t blown my chances with you.”

“You and I weren’t meant to marry. We should both thank God we didn’t get the chance to make each other miserable for fifty years.”

“You’re probably right.”

“I know I’m right. Matt, I promise I will bring Rachel to visit both of you as often as I can.”

He smiled for the first time since he had arrived. “That’ll give us both something to look forward to. How soon will you be heading to Kansas?”

“The bus doesn’t leave until tomorrow evening. I have a friend in town I can stay with until then.” The memory of Elam finding her at the bus station threatened to bring on her tears again, but she fought them back. She was sure Amber would put her up for the night.

“Can I give you a lift to your friend’s place?”

“That would be great.” Katie glanced over her shoulder, but there was no sign of Elam. Perhaps that was for the best. In her heart, she knew they had already said their goodbyes.

Katie led Matt inside the house where she told Nettie her plans and had a tearful farewell.

“T
hey have only been gone a day and yet I can’t believe how quiet the house is without them.” Nettie sighed heavily at the kitchen sink.

“You said that already.” Elam sipped his coffee without tasting it. Katie was gone and so was the sunshine that warmed his soul.

“I just can’t get over what a difference it made having them here.”

He wouldn’t mourn something that was never meant to be. “We got on well enough before they came. Mary will have her babe in another month. You’ll be so busy helping her you won’t notice that Katie and Rachel aren’t around.”

If only he had some way to block out his thoughts of them. Had he been right to rebuff Katie or had he pushed her into Matt’s arms?

She said she wanted a reason to stay. He could have given it to her. Setting his cup down, Elam rested his
elbows on the table and raked his fingers through his hair. Why didn’t he give her that reason?

She might have been content, even happy with him. With his help she might have had a chance to grow in her faith and understanding of God’s will. He glanced at his mother slowly drying the supper dishes and putting them away. Her boundless energy seemed as lacking as his. Katie and Rachel had taken the life from this home.

“
Mamm,
can I ask you a question?”

“Of course.” She set the last glass in the cupboard and closed the door.

“When did you first know that
Dat
had lost his faith?”

She turned around, a look of shock on her face. “Why are you asking about that now?”

“I have wondered for a long time if there were signs.”

She came and sat beside him at the table. “You know that our first child died when she was only two months old. She was such a beautiful babe. It broke our hearts to lay her in the cold ground. Your father struggled mightily with his faith after her illness and death.”

“It must have been terrible.”

“It was
Gotte wille.
He needed her in Heaven more than we needed her here on earth, although we cannot understand why. You father never got over her loss.”

“But he was a good and faithful servant all the years I was growing up.”

“He went through the motions for me. There were times I almost believed he had found his way back to God, but then I would see something in his eyes and I would know he had not. I was not surprised the day he announced
that he wouldn’t go to the preaching anymore. He could not forgive God for taking his baby girl from him.”

“Do you wish he’d gone on pretending?”

“No. I wish he could have opened his heart to God’s healing power the way Katie was able to. I’m sorry it did not work out for the two of you. I thought you cared for each other.”

Elam set his cup on the table. “She was only pretending or she would not have gone back to the English.”

“What do you mean? She has not gone back to the English.”

He looked up sharply. “She left with Matt. I saw them.”

Cocking her head to the side, Nettie said, “Yes, he gave her a ride to Amber Bradley’s place. She’s taking the bus to her brother’s. She plans to stay with him only until she can get a job. I thought you knew this.”

Elam jumped to his feet. “She’s taking the bus?”

“Did I not just say that?”

She hadn’t left with Matt. He still had a chance. “I must get to the bus station.”

“Why?”

“Because I love her. I drove her away with my false pride instead of believing she was the one God chose for me.”

He snatched his hat from the peg and jammed it on his head on the way out the door.

Katie sat in the front seat of Amber’s car as she drove them to the bus station. Rachel slept quietly in the infant seat in the back. “Thanks for giving me a lift.”

“No problem. Are you sure you won’t change your mind and stay in Hope Springs?”

It would be too painful to live in the same community with Elam. To see him at worship and at gatherings and to know he didn’t trust that her faith was genuine.

“I think it’s better that I go to Malachi. He will take care of us until I can manage on my own.”

“I’m going to miss you and Rachel.”

“We will miss you, too.”

When they reached the station, Amber carried Katie’s suitcase to the pile waiting to be loaded on the bus. The two women faced each other then hugged one another fiercely. “Take care of yourself and that beautiful baby,” Amber whispered.

“I will. God bless you for all you’ve done for us.” Drawing away, Katie straightened her bonnet and picked up Rachel, now sleeping in her bassinet. She entered the bus station with tears threatening to blind her.

The same thin, bald man stood behind the counter. Katie wondered if he would remember her. She said, “I’d like to purchase a ticket to Yoder, Kansas.”

He didn’t glance up. “We don’t have service to Yoder. The nearest town is Hutchinson, Kansas. You’ll have to make connections in St. Louis and Kansas City.”

“That will be fine. Is it still one hundred and sixty-nine dollars?”

He looked up at that. “Yes, it is. Do you have enough this time?”

“I do.” She laid the bills on the counter.

“No, you don’t,” a man said behind her.

She recognized the voice instantly. It was Elam.

“I have enough.” She didn’t turn around. She didn’t trust herself not to start crying.

“You haven’t paid me for Rachel’s baby bed.” He was right behind her. She could feel the warmth of him through the fabric of her Amish dress.

Reaching around her, he took the money from the counter. “Now you cannot leave.”

“I don’t have a reason to stay.” Her heart was beating so hard she thought it might burst.

Quietly, he said, “God willing, I shall spend my life giving you a thousand reasons to be glad you stayed.”

She turned at last to face him, the love she’d tried to hide shining in her eyes. “Malachi says it’s very hot and dusty in Kansas.”

Elam covered her hands with his own. She could feel him trembling. He said, “It doesn’t sound like a good place for Rachel.”

Behind her, the man at the counter said, “Do you want a ticket or not?”

She smiled at Elam. “It seems I can’t afford one.”

Elam drew a deep breath. “Come. I’ll give you a ride home.”

Outside, Katie climbed sedately into the buggy, although she was so happy she wanted to shout. Elam helped her in, then handed her the baby and climbed up after them. With a cluck of his tongue he sent Judy out into the street.

They rode in silence until they were past the outskirts of town. As the horse trotted briskly down the blacktop, he turned in the seat to face Katie. “I ask you to forgive me. I judged you unfairly, Katie. I pushed you away when you needed my counsel.”

“I forgive you as I have been forgiven.”

“Will you marry me, Katie Lantz?”

Her heart expanded with happiness and all the love she’d kept hidden came bubbling forth. “
Jah,
Elam Sutter. I will marry you—on one condition.”

His smile widened. “I knew it could not be so easy. What is your condition?”

“I want Rachel to be able to visit her English family.”

His grin faded. His gaze rested on the sleeping baby. “And what if she is tempted to leave us and go into the English world when she is older?”

“Then we will face that together, and we will pray that she finds God in her own way.”

“This is a hard thing to ask, Katie. I love her like my own child.”

“And she will love you and honor you as her father. Just as I love you and will honor you as my husband.”

He was silent for a time and Katie waited, not daring to hope. The clop-clop of Judy’s hooves and the jingle of her harness were the only sounds on the empty highway. At last Elam said, “And you will obey me in all things and without question.”

She heard the hint of teasing in his tone and all her fear vanished. With a light heart and prayer of thanks she leaned close to him. “You will be in charge of the house. It shall be as you say.”

Elam chuckled. “A man who claims he’s in charge of his own home will lie about other things, too. When do you want the wedding to take place?”

“Tomorrow.”

He slanted a grin her way. “Be sensible, Katie.”

“If tomorrow isn’t possible, then I think a fall wedding will be good. How about the first Tuesday in November?”

“Tomorrow sounds better, but November will do. It can’t come soon enough to suit me.”

Happier than she had ever imagined she could be, Katie linked her arm through his and looked out at the passing landscape. The once-empty fields were springing to life with new green crops. Wildflowers bloomed in the ditches and along the fencerows. Larks sang from the fenceposts and branches of the trees. Her life, once bleak and empty, was now full to overflowing.

She laid her head against Elam’s strong shoulder. “It’s a beautiful evening, isn’t it?”

“Beautiful,” he replied, happiness welling up in his voice. He wasn’t looking at the countryside. He was smiling down at her.

She smiled at him. “Do you think your mother and Mr. Imhoff will see more of each other when you marry?”

“I think that’s a good possibility. Mother deserves to be happy. She would like having stepgrandchildren to raise.”

“Who knows, maybe there will be more than one wedding this fall in your family.”

“It will be hard to keep our betrothal a secret. Do you know how much celery I’ll have to plant for two weddings? The whole township will know something is going on.”

“I can live with that if you can.”

He nodded. “
Jah,
I can.”

When they finally reached the lane, Judy turned off the highway and picked up her pace. As the farmhouse came into view, Katie thought back to the night she’d arrived.

How she had dreaded returning here. Now the farm had become something different, something it had never been before. It was a place of joy. A place where she could raise
her child to know God. A place where she and her family would work together and pray together as God intended.

She said, “‘Even the sparrow has found a home, and the swallow a nest for herself, where she may have her young—a place near your altar, O Lord Almighty, my King and my God.’”

“
Psalms
84:3, I think,” Elam said quietly. At the top of the rise, he pulled the horse to a halt. Katie looked up at him, at the love shining in his eyes, and she knew she was truly blessed.

“Why are we stopping?” she asked, hoping she already knew the answer.

He drew his fingers along her jaw and cupped her cheek with his hand. “Because I’ve been wanting to kiss you since the first time I picked you up at the bus station.”

“Then you’ve waited long enough. Don’t waste another minute.” She raised her face to him and closed her eyes.

As Elam’s lips touched hers with gentleness and love Katie knew in her heart that God had truly brought her home.

Dear Reader,

Katie’s Redemption
is my first foray into writing a book with Amish characters. I love research, and boy did I do a lot of it as I was preparing to write this story.

The Amish culture is fascinating on many levels. Their dedication to a simple life is what many people think of when they think of the Amish. But it is their devotion to God in their everyday lives that I found to be most touching about them.

That is not to say that they are without problems. They are human beings with the same emotions, fears and joys that drive all of us. They simply face their challenges behind the high walls of a tight-knit community where individualism is not as important as conforming to a specific social structure. That makes for some wonderful conflict in stories.

I have several other books planned that will be set in the fictional town of Hope Springs, Ohio. I hope you find them enjoyable.

Blessings,