Keep Me (Beggar's Choice #3) (10 page)

Mick looks at me disbelievingly. “Jesus, Bram how the hell
do you get anything done? Does she walk around the house like this a lot?”

I shoot a sidelong glance at Charlie that Mick misses
because the pervert is still looking at Alys’ tits and then I say seriously,
“No, a lot of the time she just wears panties.”

He swallows hard. “What? No bra?”

“Nah, she just cups her hands over them.” I make the gesture
to reinforce this statement and he gulps.

“Fucking hell!”

“Yeah and sometimes she jumps up and down a bit while she’s
holding them.”

Mick’s voice gets extra high. “
Really
?” Charlie
starts laughing loudly and he slumps. “Bastard!”

Charlie and I both break into loud guffaws, holding our sides.
Charlie wipes tears away. “Mick you’re so fucking gullible.”

He sneers. “Whatever.” Then he glares at me. “Thanks for
spoiling it.” After a few seconds of silence he stirs meditatively. “Actually I
don’t think it’s physically possible for her to get her hands all the way round
those breasts.”

I groan. “Oh God, shut up!”

“No really I’m constantly amazed that she doesn’t just
topple over. She must have a really low centre of gravity.”

“Stop thinking about Alys’ low centre,” I say sternly and he
smirks.

“Bet I don’t think about it half as much as you Bramley.”

I squirm slightly under Charlie’s alert gaze. “Shut up!”

Charlie smirks. “You got a little crush going there Irish
boy?”

I raise my eyes to heaven. “Lord please help me.” At that
moment Mrs M, Charlie’s housekeeper comes over. Well, when I say comes over I
actually mean weaves over as she’s obviously had a lot to drink, and when I say
a lot I actually mean a brewery load because she has the alcohol capacity of an
old sailor and a mouth to match.

“Charlie,” she says in her smoker’s rasp. “Someone’s fucking
in the en suite again.”

Charlie sits up indignantly. “In
my
en suite?”

Mick looks at him curiously. “You joined Sister Bramley over
there Charlie? People are always fucking in your bathrooms. I’ve heard
someone’s organising a tour of London’s top hot spots and your en suite’s on
there at Number Three.”

Charlie glares. “The only person who should be fucking in my
en suite is
me
and no one should be fucking at all tonight. This is a
fucking family barbeque.” He gets to his feet. “Don’t worry Mrs M, I’ll sort it
out.”

I stroke my chin imitating deep thought. “Last time you
broke something up like that I seem to remember you joining them don’t you
Mick?”

Mick laughs out loud. “Oh God I’d forgotten that.”

Charlie sticks his middle finger up at us and moves off.

“Go, go Professor Killjoy,” I shout and Mrs M laughs and
then reels off asking people where Seth is.

“Where
is
Seth?” Mick asks.

“Anywhere Mrs M isn’t I should think.” Mrs M is very fond of
Seth but it translates into groping him which he says makes him very
uncomfortable. The mileage that we’ve had over the years about his octogenarian
admirer is legendary.

Mick and I settle into a comfortable silence for a few
minutes idly watching the crowd. Oh alright I’m still watching Alys. Finally he
stirs. “Who’s that girl with Alys?”

I look round. “That’s Elen, her mate from university.” I
smile slyly at him. “Interested are we young man?”

He turns a bit red which is interesting because Mick never
gets embarrassed about anything. It’s also like blood in the water for me, and
I spare a moment to wish that Sid was here to get the impact of the King of the
Piss Takers being hoist on his own petard or whatever that means.

I continue to stare at him and he squirms running his hand
over his collar. Finally he looks at me. “Oh fucking shut up. I’ll get you back
for this Bram.”

I laugh loudly. “I’m just enjoying this. Don’t stop. You
know I should probably ring Seth and we can go and buy our hats now.”

He laughs. “Just tell me you prick.”

I relent. “She’s single as far as I know. Daisy’s dad isn’t
in the picture and from what Alys says he’s unlikely to be. He doesn’t want
anything to do with the bairn.”

“Bastard,” Mick snarls and I nod in agreement. I fucking
hate men that don’t provide for their kids.

“Anyway she’s a single parent.”

He shrugs. “Doesn’t matter to me babe you know that.”

I do know it. Mick comes from a huge London family. He’s got
six sisters with him as the youngest boy, and about forty million cousins. You
can’t go anywhere in London without falling over a Forrester. Sometimes
literally because some of the men are hard core pissheads.

“She’s got baggage.”

He smiles. “Makes it all the more interesting Bramley.” He
stares at Elen who is looking truculently at some poor sod who was chatting her
up but is now obviously starting to fear for his life and considering making a
run for it. Mick turns and smiles happily. “I love a good challenge. Introduce
me, Cilla Black.”

Alys

After bouncing on the trampoline so much that I think I can
feel my breakfast starting to reappear I pull Daisy off and head over to hand
her over to Elen. She’d been standing talking to some bloke but as we come up
to them he scuttles off. I laugh. “Another one bites the dust Freddie Mercury?”

“No stamina the men in London,” she mutters.

“I wouldn’t know. The man I’m living with appears to be
blessed with the luck of the Irish in that department.”

She darts a look over at the house where I see Bram and Mick
slouched talking comfortably. For a second I see interest in her cool brown
eyes before it disappears but my heart sinks.
Please don’t be interested in
him. Please don’t let me lose a friend over this when he fucks her over like he
does all women.
I buy some time by throwing my jacket back on and slowly
winding my scarf back round my neck and then I dart a glance at her
. “
He’s
pretty,” I say casually. “But he’s such a womaniser.”

She looks startled. “Really? He’s a bit of a player then?”

I look at her in disbelief. “He’s got the staying power of
an amoeba. Have you been listening to
any
of my cosy little chats about
the army of naked women running around the flat? I’m beginning to wonder if
this deafness is catching.”

“He brings women back to Bram’s flat?”

“To Bram’s flat? Of course he does.” I pause. “Hang on I’m
confused now. Why wouldn’t Bram bring women back to his own flat?”

She laughs. “Did you think I was on about Bram? Fuck no. I’d
rather eat my own eyeballs slowly than get involved with him. He’s got Irish
heartbreaker written all over him.”

“Then who?” Recognition dawns. “Mick! You’re on about Mick?”

She lowers her voice. “Is he the cute beefy one sitting with
Bram?”

“Yes, he’s one of his best friends. He’s known him since
school.”

“Yes. I like a chunky man. They don’t bother about my wobbly
bits and bigger men are demons in the sack Alys.”

“Really?”

She smiles with a faraway look in her eye. “I shit you not.
Take my word for it.”

“Take your word for what?” I jump at Mick’s voice and twist
to see that they’ve walked up behind us while we were talking. But Elen merely
smiles a particularly sphinx like smile.

“I was just telling Alys here the benefits of having a
bigger man in bed,” she says coquettishly and he beams.

“From your lips to God’s ear babe. You must have been
listening to tales about me.”

“Not so far,” she purrs. “But I’m open to more discussion.”

He gapes at her for a second and then throws his head back
laughing. “Let’s get you a drink then Elen. You’ll look after Daisy for a
second won’t you Alys?” he murmurs, and they vanish towards the house without
another word.

Silence falls for a second and I’m aware of Bram burning a
hole in the side of my face with his stare. I sincerely hope he didn’t hear me
discussing him but that hope is forlorn when he chuckles and throws his arm
around my shoulder. “So I’m blessed in the prettiness department then Alys?
Good to know.” He pauses. “As is the fact that I have the staying power of an
amoeba.”

“Oh God,” I moan. “Kill me now.”

He laughs loudly throwing his head back. “No need to call
him for your god of the bedroom is here. The seducer of lots of very naughty,
naked ladies.” He pauses. “Although I’ve got a far bigger cock than an amoeba.”

He laughs again but stops abruptly when a small voice comes
from below. “What’s a cock?”

“Erm,” Bram stutters. “Erm.” He pauses, obviously hoping for
Daisy to get distracted but he doesn’t know children at all if he thinks that’s
going to work, and true to form Daisy just stares unblinkingly at him like a
little blonde bush baby. Silence stretches for a second while I valiantly try
not to laugh out loud and ignore Bram’s pleading stare. “Erm,” he says again
and she rolls her eyes looking like a startling replica of her mother when she
looks at men for a second.

“It’s okay if you don’t know,” she finally mutters, looking
at him as if he’s mentally lacking. He smiles in relief but it stutters when
she whips back. “Is your house very warm Bram?”

“Why?”

“All those naked ladies in it.” She stops to think. “I
didn’t see them though. Where do you keep them? Have you got a special room for
them? Can they wear socks because I don’t like my bare feet on the carpet?”

For a second he looks like he might be sick but then inspiration
obviously comes to him and he looks down at her. “Shall we go on the
trampoline?”

Instantly she’s diverted and squeals with pleasure while he
does a triumphant fist bump. I catch his arm. “Haven’t you been drinking?”

“Yeah why?” he asks in confusion.

“Well be careful on there. She’s small but she’s a dead
weight when she throws herself at your legs.”

“Alys,” he scoffs, removing my hand in a lordly fashion. “I
have been on more trampolines than you’ve had hot dinners. I really don’t think
that there’s anything you can tell me that I do not know about bouncing around
while drunk.”

Ten minutes later Charlie wanders over with Mabe on his arm
to where I’m sitting at a table with Bram holding an ice pack to his head.

“What the fuck?” he asks and then winces when Mabe pinches
him and nods to Daisy who is sitting innocently on Elen’s lap helping herself
to popcorn from a bag that Mick is holding for her. “Sorry,” he mutters.

“Oh don’t apologise,” Bram huffs. “That child is the spawn
of Satan.”

Daisy laughs merrily, showing a mouth full of popcorn.

“What’s she done?” Mabe asks sitting down on the chair that
Charlie pulls out for her and then frowning at him as he takes a seat on the
other side of the table away from her.

Bram ignores the byplay, gripping my hand tightly to his
face. “She did the grip of death,” he mutters. “Alys for goodness sake it’s not
‘The Cube’. Surely you can manage to hold a bag of ice in one place for more
than two seconds. You’ve got a grip that’s shakier than an alcoholic.”

I smile at the crosspatch and then let out a peal of
laughter. “Oh my God it was hilarious. He’d just made the most pompous speech
in history about how much he knows about trampolining. Gets up on the
trampoline and then not even twenty seconds later she grabs his knees and he
does a header over the side into a bush.”

Everyone breaks into laughter and Bram moans piteously.
“I’ll be picking brambles out of my bum for the next week.”

Daisy laughs uproariously. “Bum,” she shouts. “Bum for a
week.”

Matt chooses that moment to come up behind her. “Now that’s
my type of itinerary,” he laughs but Bram tuts disapprovingly at him.

“Not in front of children,” he says piously.

I snort. “Bram you said every swear word in creation while
we were helping you out of that bush.”

“That’s different,” he says primly. “I was in a lot of pain.
That bush hurt.”

Charlie smirks. “First time you’ve ever been hurt coming out
of a bush.”

The two men laugh as Daisy chatters obliviously. “I don’t
know,” Bram finally says sharing a look with Charlie. “Remember Berlin.”

The two men laugh but I catch a look of pain cross Mabe’s
face, but it passes so quickly I’m not even sure that I saw it and when the men
turn back she’s smiling brightly.

“How’s Rob?” I ask her and she grimaces.

“We’re not together anymore. Nude photos and sext messages
tend to put a dampener on any relationship.”

Charlie stirs. “I should have hit him harder,” he says
morosely.

Matt settles next to me and looks at Bram. “You’ll live,” he
says dismissively.

Bram removes the ice pack dramatically. “Yes but will I
ever
be beautiful again?”

Matt laughs. “Your face is intact, Helen of Troy.”

I reach over and mop up the pool of water on the table
fussily. “You’re so anal,” Bram smiles.

“What’s anal?” Daisy’s loud question breaks through the
conversation like a torpedo, creating a stunned silence.

I look around and sigh as the men look like stunned rabbits.
Reaching over I pat her hand. “Something only for birthdays and Christmas when
you’re very old.”

There’s a stunned silence and then Bram breaks into peals of
laughter. Daisy oblivious reaches over and pats his arm. “You’re a big poo poo
head,” she confides to him and chuckles.

Bram laughs and clutches his chest. “Sweetheart the only
girl that I want to impress and that’s your summing up of me. I’ll never
recover.”

Elen smiles. “I’m sure you’ll live but just to make sure we
promise not to let your fan club know.” She brandishes Daisy’s coat and hat.
“Come on monkey nut. Time to go home.”

Daisy pouts but it’s half-hearted at best as she’s flagging
now. She reaches her little arms out to Bram imperiously. “Will you carry me
out?”