Keeping London (The Flawed Heart Series Book 2) (11 page)

“Let me see your ring again,” I say excitedly to Maggie over the excessively loud ambiance music of this Italian restaurant.

She holds out her hand, and I stare at the gleaming diamond. It’s a modest ring, maybe three-fourths of a carat on a simple platinum band. It’s perfect for Maggie and Cooper. Staring at it makes me so ecstatic—for them, for love.

“I love it. It’s so sparkly!” I tell her for what must be the fifth time.

“I know. David did such a good job at picking it out. I’m so happy.”

Even though I know Cooper is his last name, it still catches me off guard when Maggie calls him by his first name, and I have to remind myself of who we’re talking about.

“He did. I’m so happy for you. So, when do you think you’ll get married?”

I hear a noise come from Cooper. He could be choking on his Coke or trying to suppress a laugh. I can’t tell.

“Probably right after they get back. I’m going to plan the wedding while they’re gone. Right, baby?” Maggie asks Cooper.

“Right, baby,” he replies from across the table, shooting Loïc a lighthearted look.

We’re having a last dinner out as a group. I love our little foursome and our weekly date night. I’m going to miss this. The guys leave in two days, so after dinner, Loïc’s going to come back to my place where we are going to be snuggling in bed, among other activities, for the next thirty-six hours until he leaves on Friday morning.

We had a fantastic time with my family in California—like, the best—but ever since we got back, time has been moving at triple speed, and I hate it. I try not to think about Loïc leaving. I mean, I know he’s going to, but I venture to remain in a state of denial. I can fall apart when he’s gone. But, right now, I just want to love him and enjoy every second.

“So, what are your plans for tomorrow?” I ask Maggie and Cooper.

Maggie places her glass of red wine on the table. “David’s family is throwing a full-day bon voyage celebration.”

“It’s more or less a day of drinking and shenanigans.” Cooper chuckles.

“From what I’ve heard, your family sounds like a lot of fun.” I grin.

“Oh, they are,” Maggie agrees.

“You have three sisters, right, Cooper?” I ask, wanting to clarify the details of a conversation I had with him one of the first times I met him.

“Yep, I’m the youngest of four. We’re basically all a year to eighteen months apart, starting with Kate—the oldest—then Becca, Jen, and finally, me. Kate has two kids; little Emma is four, and Jack is two. Becca’s pregnant with her first, and Jen might never settle down. We’re not sure. But Becca’s and Kate’s husbands are awesome. The whole family is loud and fun.”

“Yeah, and David’s the loudest,” Maggie adds.

“Well, when you’re born after three incredibly needy sisters, you’ve got to fight for your place in the food chain. I did that by being obnoxiously vocal and annoying—or so they tell me. But everyone took the day off tomorrow, and we’re just going to spend the day together. My dad will cook some good food. Mom will be scurrying around, making sure everyone has everything they need. I’m sure we’ll be playing some games. It will be a great day.”

“It will be.” Maggie looks to Cooper with a hint of sorrow in her eyes before her lips turn up into a smile. “I love David’s family. I definitely got lucky in the in-law department.”

“You two are welcome to come hang out.” Cooper motions his finger between Loïc and me. “My family is dying to meet you, London. They want to meet the girl who finally got under Loïc’s skin.” He chuckles. “Maggie’s family’s coming for part of the day, too.”

“Aw…we would, but—”

“We’ve got plans,” Loïc finishes my thought.

I smile warmly toward him. I know that he is looking forward to our marathon of alone time just as much as I am.

“We’ll make it for your welcome-home party. How’s that?” I ask Cooper.

“That’s cool,” he answers before shoving a huge forkful of noodles into his mouth.

“So, let’s talk wedding plans!” I exclaim with sincere excitement. There’s nothing more fun than planning an amazing party. I think I got my love of event-planning from my mom. “What are you thinking so far?” I ask Maggie.

“You know, you two are going to have a year to get together and discuss the wedding,” Cooper states.

“We sure are, but there’s no time like the present, right, baby?” Maggie asks.

“Right, baby,” Cooper answers with what I think is a bit of a forced smile.

I look to Loïc, and he’s just taking the whole scene in, a slight grin gracing his face.

Sometimes, like now, when I look to him, I can see the wheels turning in his beautiful brain. I can almost see his thoughts racing through his mind. Evident by the smile on his face, I know that they’re positive ones.

I also know that isn’t always the case.

My guy, he’s so stoic at times. There are moments when he has a far off stare, and I’m almost certain he’s remembering something troubling. He’s pretty good at sharing with me. He’s opened up so much over the past six months. But, still…what I wouldn’t give to be able to read his thoughts.

For all he’s shared with me about his tortured past and horrible experiences, I have a feeling that there’s so much more he hasn’t. Every now and then, when I think about the parts of his past that he hasn’t confided in me, I get nervous. A small voice tells me, it’s the secrets one buries the deepest that have the power to destroy them. And though I love to be right, when it comes to that, I hope I’m wrong.

After we get back from the restaurant, Loïc and I shower and climb into bed.

“Do you remember that flight we were on together back in June?” Loïc asks.

“Of course. How could I forget?” I answer playfully.

“Remember how annoying you were?”

“Hey!” I hit him on his chest. “Well, I couldn’t have been that annoying because you kissed me out of the blue. Aw…that was our first kiss. Is that why you thought about that flight?”

“No, though that was a definite highlight. I was actually thinking about your Twenty Questions game and how you were so irritatingly curious and persistent and wanted to be all up in my business.” He chuckles.

“I couldn’t help it. When I see something I want, I can be very persistent.”

“That you can.” He’s quiet for a moment. “That’s what I want to do tonight.”

“What?”

“I want to play a version of your game. I want to learn as much about you as I can before I go. While I’m over there, I want to have a plethora of information to choose from when I think about you.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. But don’t you already know everything about me?” I turn my face to the side to stare into his blue depths.

Loïc lies on his side, his head propped up by his hand, as he faces me. “I know a lot but definitely not everything. I had no idea that you were a trained figure skater.”

“A minor oversight.” I snuggle into his side.

“Well, there are other things I don’t know. For example, um…what is your favorite childhood memory?”

“That’s a hard one!” I exclaim. “Let me think. Oh, I got it. Okay, so once, when I was about ten and Georgia was eight, we were staying in this rental house up in the hills, by Gatlinburg. I don’t remember why we were staying there. It might have been a vacation, or more than likely, my dad had business nearby. It was spring—beginning of April, I think. There was a late-season snowstorm, tons of snow…like, up to my knees. We lost power, and cars couldn’t go up or down the hill with all the snow. The power was out for almost two days, and my dad couldn’t work during that time. Also, the catering company couldn’t get up the hill to bring us meals. So, for two days, we ate random snacks from the pantry—chips, Teddy Grahams, dry cereal, stuff like that. Dad made a fire in the fireplace, and the four of us played board games all night by the light and warmth of the fire. We had an epic Monopoly battle going on. Georgia ended up winning, but I’m almost positive she snuck some money.” I smile, thinking about that night. “It was such a wonderful couple of days. I had uninterrupted time with my entire family. I don’t remember ever laughing so much or having that much fun. It’s something so simple, but that’s what stands out to me as the best memory.”

“I love that story,” Loïc answers.

“What’s yours?”

“I think it was probably the last Christmas that my grandparents were able to come over from England. I was five. I don’t remember everything about the day, honestly. I was so young, but bits and pieces come back to me from time to time. I remember my mom was often sad, but she was especially happy that day. I recall my granddad being really funny. He was always doing weird things.

“I remember my dad and Nan working together in the kitchen, making Christmas dinner. They were belting out Beatles songs. Even at that age, I knew that neither of them could carry a tune, but it didn’t matter; it was so fun to listen to them. They both loved to laugh a lot.

“I don’t even recall what presents I got that day. Legos maybe? But the thing that stands out the most about it was just the feeling of complete joy. We were all so happy. After my parents died, that feeling of joy got me through a lot of hard nights. I drew on that memory to give me strength. Over the years, the details have faded, but the immense sense of happiness never has.”

“That’s beautiful, Loïc,” I say in a whisper. “It’s kind of neat that the central focus of both of our memories is family and the feeling of happiness. I guess it shows what’s important in life, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah, I suppose it does,” Loïc says thoughtfully.

“Oh, I have an idea!” I grab Loïc’s arm and squeeze with excitement.

“Yeah?” He looks amused.

“How about, while you’re gone, we can play a really long Twenty Questions game? So, every email I send, I’ll ask you a question, and when you respond, you’ll answer it and then ask me a question. Of course, when you ask a question, you have to answer it as well. It will be fun, something to look forward to, you know?”

“That sounds great,” he agrees. “Actually, that will be cool because a lot of what goes on over there, I won’t be able to share with you. So, now, I’ll have something to write to you besides
I love you
and
I’m still alive
.”

My eyes open wide as I gasp. “Don’t even joke about that, Loïc. That’s not funny.”

“I didn’t mean it to be funny, London, but things happen sometimes. It’s a possibility.” His face wears an expression of remorse.

My eyes fill with tears. “It’s not. You’ll be fine. You’ll be back, but you have to think positively. Promise me that you won’t say anything like that again. I mean, I could walk out my front door and get hit by a car tomorrow, but I’m not going to wake up and say,
Hope I don’t die today
.”

“Yeah, but my situation is a little different.”

“Maybe, but can we pretend it’s not? Let’s just look forward to when you come back, safe and sound, okay? I can’t handle thinking about the alternative. To me, there is no alternative. There can’t be one for you either. Got it? Promise me that you’ll come back to me.”

“Okay.”

“Thank you,” I sigh as I wrap my arms around his back and nuzzle into his chest. It’s not the most profound promise, but I’ll take it.

London

“This pain isn’t exclusive to me, but it aches as if it is.”

—London Wright

“I love you,” I say, forcing my voice to be steady with strength that I didn’t know I had.

“I know, and I love you, London—more than you’ll ever know. I’m not good with words.” He pauses, letting out a strained sigh. “And this good-bye stuff is so new and hard. I want to tell you all the right things…and I just…” His voice trails off as he grabs the back of his neck. His eyes close, and he lets his head fall back until his face points toward the cloudy sky.

“Hey…” I place the palm of my hand against his abdomen.

He lowers his gaze to meet mine.

“First, you are amazing with words, much more so than you give yourself credit for.”

He smiles, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. They emit so much sadness, but I know he’s trying hard to be strong for me.

“We knew this was coming, right?” I say more to myself than him. “You’re going to go and do your job and come back to me. You’re going to be fine. I’m going to work and go on with life while you’re gone. I’m going to be fine. We’re going to be okay, Loïc…I promise you. This isn’t forever. In fact, in the story of our lives, this will be a very small chapter.”