Killing Lucas (10 page)

“I wanted to know how Nancy was doing. Trent told me you two were down here. He’s upstairs destroying the kitchen, by the way.”

He grabbed her hand and looked at Agent Vassar. “So we stay.”

“For the time being, this is a good place. We know the lay of the land.”

Squeezing his hand, Kiloran managed a weak smile. “We stay.”

Chapter Ten

“Shut up. Just shut up and kiss me.”—Kiloran to Lucas

D
inner was one of those affairs that had someone not known what was going on, he never would have realized it wasn’t just an ordinary meal between friends and family. Trenton cooked a surprisingly good chicken potpie with leftovers from the refrigerator and, for a few short hours, Kiloran felt normal.

She was so wrapped up in Trenton’s humorous tales of near disaster, it was easy to forget that years had been lost for Kiloran and Lucas. Just pretending to be normal for a few hours was food for her soul. Lucas, ever attentive, touched and kissed her on regular basis, and it felt good. It felt safe. She felt like she could be loved. And for the first time in longer than she could remember, Kiloran thought maybe she deserved to be loved, just a little.

Agent Vassar excused himself, saying that although he would love to stay he needed to get into that trailer in the morning. The FBI had been still working on it when the accident had happened, and getting the car out of the tree had been a higher priority than sitting around waiting for exterminators to deal with wasps. Safer, too. He promised to call if anything came up, or if Nancy woke.

Trent yawned and stretched—a transparent attempt to get away before he became even more of a third wheel. Not that he needed to. Lucas was making no secret about where he was heading and sleep was not first thing on his list.

“There are tons of movies in the living room,” Kiloran said as she trailed behind Lucas up the stairs.

“Nah, I’ll take Fenway—“

“It’s not Fenway.”

“—outside for a quick walk while I make some phone calls. And it’s been about a week since I slept in a real bed, so sleep sounds really good about now.”

“Tell Tony to mind his own business.”

“I’m not calling Tony.”

“Liar.” Lucas didn’t wait for Trenton to answer. He grabbed Kiloran’s hand and led her the rest of the way up the stairs and down the hall to their room. “Do you want me in here? Just say the word and I’ll leave you for the night.”

“Stay, please.”

“I’d hoped you’d say that.” He went in to kiss her, but stopped. “I didn’t use a condom the last time. I want you to know there hasn’t been anyone since you.”

Oh crap. Here it came: this was the moment where everything would go to hell in a hand basket. She could say she hadn’t been with anyone since, either, but he wouldn’t believe that. Trying to convince him of her innocence had gotten her nowhere but him angry so she wasn’t ready to go down that road again. “I haven’t been with anyone in long time. I’m clean—but I’m not on any birth control either.”

“What?”

“Lucas, I swear I didn’t plan this afternoon I didn’t try to trick you into getting me pregnant.” Wringing her fingers, she waited for his anger.

When he grabbed her face, forcing her to look at him, she was shocked to see confusion on his face instead of anger. “I was just as in the moment this afternoon as you were. I have never forgotten to wear a condom before in my life. But all I could think was I had to be inside you.”

“You’re not angry?”

“How can I blame you for something that was equally my fault? I might be a great many things, but hypocrite I am not.” He kissed her just for the briefest of moments before pulling back. “Just out of curiosity, where are you in your cycle?”

“I’m pretty much at my most fertile.”

“I see.”

“Look, if I’m pregnant I don’t expect anything from you…”

“Hold on a second, if you’re pregnant, I’ll be right there with my child. But let’s hope that isn’t the case. We aren’t stable, this situation isn’t stable, and Lord knows your stalker isn’t stable. So bringing a baby into our world doesn’t make a damned bit of sense.”

Smiling, Kiloran swallowed down her disappointment. Logically, it didn’t make sense; she knew that. Her brain told her all the reasons why having a baby with Lucas right now made no sense. Least of all the fact that he might not be in her life in a week, forget the stalker issue. But her heart, the part that had never let her forget what they’d had, bled for what might have been or could be. She still hoped there was a baby. As selfish as that was, she couldn’t prevent this need to have something of him she could hold on to, carry, and nurture. The disappointment, though legitimate and expected, that Lucas’s words brought washed over her like a bucket of cold water.

“Do you have any condoms?” She tried to make her voice sound optimistic but knew she failed at it.

“I do but…baby, look at me. Just because we have them doesn’t mean we have to use them. We don’t have to have sex tonight. It’s been a long, emotional day.”

Now she was even more confused. Years ago he couldn’t have gone a night without making love to her, and now he said they didn’t have to have sex. “So you’re tired and want to sleep?”

“That’s not what I said.”

“But you…”

Spinning away from her, he yanked his hand through his hair. “We’re walking on eggshells, and it’s making me crazy. I want, need even, to have sex tonight. And to be clear, that’s with you. Not just anyone. But you have had to deal with a lot of stuff today and if you aren’t up to it if you need to—” his faced scrunched into a grimace “—cuddle, then I’m man enough to hold my needs at bay and—”

“Shut up. Just shut up and kiss me.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Lucas’s strong and rough hands sent chills through Kiloran as he reached up her T-shirt to touch her bare skin. She moaned into his mouth, rubbing her body against his. Hating the clothing between them, she pushed at him. When he looked at her in confusion, she started stripping and, never slow on the uptake, he did the same. As he was about to push her on the bed she stopped him. “Not this time. This time I want to ride you.”

“Who am I to say no? But first…” He reached down into his discarded pants pocket to remove two condom packets and placed them on the side table. “I got them from Trenton just after dinner while you were clearing the table.”

The look of discomfort on his face had her hiding a chuckle. “Really?”

“Yes, and it’s not something I want to repeat.”

“Ah, poor baby. Now get in bed.”

Lucas climbed into bed, lying on his back with one arm over his head the other over his tight abs. She could stare at him like this for hours. How no one saw in him what Kiloran did, she would never understand. He was so much more. Lucas wasn’t the most handsome Sherman, nor the tallest, and he certainly wasn’t the most well-spoken or romantic. But to her, he was perfection.

Climbing up his body, she let her hair trail across his skin, smiling when she saw the goose bumps in her wake. She kissed his stomach and moved up his body to his pecs and then over his collarbone. His hands moved up her thighs to rest on her hips and ass. He didn’t guide her, which for Lucas was amazing. When it came to sex, he had always been in charge and she had been happy to let him. But tonight, she needed to be in control of
something
, even for just a few moments.

She reached over to the nightstand, grabbed the condom, ripped the foil wrapper with her teeth, and eased down his body again. She worked his cock with one hand, rubbing the precome over the red, angry head and then down the shaft. He moaned and pushed his hips up, forcing his cock further into her hand. He was so hard and ready. And if what Lucas said was true, that he hadn’t been with anyone since her, Kiloran was about to kick his dormant libido into full active status. She smiled and rubbed her thumb over his tip before lowering her mouth to taste him. He shuddered.

Rolling the condom over the head and down his cock, Kiloran brought it to the base and palmed his balls for a few seconds before he sat up, hands wrapped around her waist, and pulled her up to him so they were face to face. “Minx. Are you trying to torture me?”

Lucas kissed her deep, cutting off whatever she might have said. She took his cock in hand once more, this time leading it to the opening at her apex, lowering herself inch by agonizing inch, until he was deep inside her. They stayed still for a few moments, just looking at each other, until he reached up and kissed her soft and slow. He caressed her back gently. For a long moment they just lay like that, connected, enjoying the feel of each other.

Kiloran grabbed the headboard for leverage and rotated her hips, finding just the right spot and angle. Only then did she start moving, lifting her hips so he was right at her entrance before lowering again and again until neither could stand it any longer. He helped her keep rhythm with his gentle kneading as he sucked and paid homage to her breasts. Driven mad with desire, within moments Kiloran felt the sparks form deep in her belly, spreading out to her limbs until her orgasm overcame her. The pleasure was so overwhelming.

Sweaty and exhausted, she collapsed on top of him. She only moved when the sensation of his cock still within her became too much. Rolling to the side, she let the air chill her overheated skin. Lucas got up only long enough to discard the used condom. Once back in bed, he pulled her up against him and ran his fingers through her hair, making her feel cherished, if not loved.

She lay there, not moving, until the sounds of his soft snores filled the room. Only then did she allow the quiet tears to fall. So much had been lost and she knew she had precious little time to get it back. But the gentle lover he had just been reminded her of that Lucas he once was, and for the first time Kiloran let herself hope that in the deep recesses of his soul, there was still a spark, something not sexual that drew him to her.

Pushing herself up so she could see his face, she smiled. Although the years had given a few lines and the slightest hint of gray hair, when at rest he looked so peaceful none of the tight hostility he showed her or the world was present. Leaning over she brushed her lips against his. Softly so not to wake him, but loud enough to own the words, she whispered, “I love you, Lucas Sherman, and I always will.”

Chapter Eleven

“I just want you happy again. I just want Luc back.”—Trenton to Lucas

T
renton was up to something. Lucas could feel it in his bones.

Lucas had left Kiloran still sleeping and come down stairs to let the puppy out. He would be damned if he gave in yet on the stupid name, no matter how perfect it was. When he went into the kitchen he found the crate empty. Looking out the window into the back yard, Lucas saw Trenton walking the tree line with the puppy, pointing every now and then at a tree as if the dog could understand him.

He was just about to turn around when he noticed that Trenton wasn’t talking to the dog at all but on his cell phone, and he would bet his entire year’s salary that Trent was talking with Tony. A leopard just didn’t change his spots easily and now Tony had learned to hide his protective streak from his wife too.

Damned fool.

Standing at the door, arms crossed, he glared at Trenton, daring him to look back. It was another five minutes but eventually the idiot did, dropping his phone in the process. Trenton waved as if nothing was going on but Lucas wasn’t stupid, he knew his family and knew some things—like Trenton getting into things he shouldn’t and Tony putting his nose where it didn’t belong—would never change. Lucas wasn’t sure about Spencer’s part in all of this, because with Tony not speaking to Spencer and Spencer avoiding Tony at every given turn it was doubtful that Spencer was in the loop at all.

In fact, Spence had left an e-mail two days ago asking what the hell was going on. And Lucas had texted him:
TRUST ME and don’t worry you will get my work reports on time.

Spence, not one to respond via text, answered:
Your reports aren’t what I’m worried about.

But Lucas hadn’t heard from anyone else. J.C. had been quiet, but then it was rare that he would chat with his sister. Not that Lucas didn’t love her, but they just weren’t that close. Maybe there were still some residual feeling on both sides on how she’d handled her relationship with Hunter, and maybe Lucas hadn’t handled the news with grace either. So not hearing from her hadn’t surprised him. Hunter and Tony were discussing the situation, but Lucas hadn’t heard from anyone else on that front.

And then there were his parents, who worried too much and had gone through a great deal of pain already watching their second-oldest son deal with a broken heart. Lucas hadn’t spoken to his father yet, but he’d heard enough from his mother to know their feelings. What would they say if Kiloran was pregnant? Would they ever accept her if he did continue the relationship?

“I thought you were still asleep.” Trenton voice broke through his thoughts.

“I bet you did. What did Tony want?”

Trent rolled his eyes. “How do you do that?”

“It’s a talent. Now spill.”

Trenton picked up the puppy from his spread eagle sprawl on the ground. “He wanted to make sure you were well-protected, that you could see someone coming long before they got to you…Blah, blah, blah. Normal Tony being Tony crap.”

“So he bugs you too?”

“Bugs me? At least you’re older than he is. Imagine, just for a second, being the baby.” Walking into the house, Trenton placed the dog in his crate but didn’t bother to latch it. Both of them knew that boy wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. “Anyway, he means well. Haven has mellowed him a bit.”

“Has she? Or has he just found a new way to hide his issues?”

Trenton shrugged. He grabbed an apple off the counter and headed down the hall. “Not my problem, and as long as he’s worried about you, I’m off his radar. I’m just going to get my gear and be off.”

“Where you heading?” Lucas followed and watched him throw his clothes into a bag haphazardly.

“Not sure. There are some cliffs in the area I could try climbing. I don’t really have anything lined up at the moment. You know my job kind of takes me away on the spur of the moment. Not many people plan when they need a rescue.”

The outdoor called to Trenton like no one else. It was in his blood. He understood the way the trees moved and the way the winds blew. When they were all kids, Trenton had been their little weatherman and was accurate more times than not. He’d joined the department of forestry right out of college and was never happier than when he was out in the wilds of the middle of nowhere. But his direction in life had changed when he had been called in to help rescue some campers caught in a snowstorm.

After a few years, he’d become one of the best rescuers out there. Trenton loved the thrill of the rescue—from fire jumps to scaling mountain cliffs to save stranded hikers; he lived for it. But budget cuts and red tape had made it harder and harder to do what he loved. After discussing an idea he had with his brothers, Trenton had decided to make a change. He and Clinton James, a buddy from the department, had started Rescue Me a few months back with the intention of helping anyone in need of rescue. They charged the rich top dollar so those who couldn’t afford to pay didn’t have to. In no time the company was booming, and already they’d opened a branch in Europe and were looking at opening another in Australia. Lucas couldn’t be prouder. “If you have nowhere pressing, why not stay here?”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve no need to be the third wheel to your little reunion. It was bad enough watching this love affair the first time around. I don’t need to witness any more of the encore then I have already.” Turning serious, Trent looked at Lucas. “Take care; this lunatic is out to get
you
and won’t stop until you’re out of the picture one way or another.”

“I know, and I hope we’ll draw this asshole out soon, for everyone’s sake.”

“And Kiloran? What happens when you find her stalker and everyone is safe and sound? Look, no matter how well Tony can spin something to work in someone’s favor, I can’t believe that years’ of hurt and hate on your part just fell away overnight because you two met in a bar and the fireworks exploded. Do I think it became real last night? Hell yeah, and neither of you would have been human if what happened yesterday hadn’t rocked you to your souls.”

“When did you become so wise, runt?”

“When I got taller than you.”

“To be honest, I’m not sure where it’s going. Or even if we can go anywhere at all. There are just too many secrets and too much pain.”

Trenton nodded, then pulled his brother in a hug. “I just want you happy again. I just want Luc back.”

What could Lucas say to that? He wanted to shake his brother and his whole family and say this was who he was now; couldn’t they just deal with it and love him for who he was? But that wasn’t fair, because the man he had used to be had loved freely, had been trusting and caring. The man he was now questioned everything, laughed very little, and kept everyone at a distance. And they
did
love him, even when he was standoffish and being a jerk.

For the last few years, Lucas had looked out at the world and wondered who would hurt him next. He’d questioned every woman and all of their motives. It hadn’t mattered if she was a new girlfriend of one of his brothers or his very sister. He hadn’t trusted them. Haven had been the only one to call foul on his attitude and she had done with such grace that even he’d admitted that compared to her broken heart, his own held no weight. His sister was right; he didn’t particularly like women.

So maybe working through all these feelings was what it would take for him to move on, for him to heal and for him to return to his family. “We shall see, Trent.”

“Well, then I’m out. I gave Kiloran my number in case you lose your phone again. And for the love of that dog, just name the mutt Fenway.” Clapping him on the arm, Trenton threw his bag over his shoulder and headed out the front door.

Lucas watched him drive away until the dust had long since settled in his path. He was at a loss what to do next. How could he capture a faceless man and recapture a relationship in shambles? And what to do about a family in no way ready to open Kiloran back into their fold?

“Did Trent just leave?”

“He did.” Lucas turned to see Kiloran barefoot, her hair ruffled, and looking sexy as sin in his T-shirt. “You sleep well?”

“Surprisingly yes, but I ache all over this morning.”

“Not surprising. Car accidents have a way of doing that to you.”

Taking the few steps closer she pressed up against him, bringing Lucas’s cock to attention. “Oh, I don’t think
all
of my aches were caused by the accident. In fact, I would place money that you cause some.”

“Is that so?” he murmured against her neck. Wrapping his arm around her waist, he lifted her into full contact, her toes unable to touch the cold tile in the entry hall. He didn’t need to tell her what he wanted; as always, she honed in on his needs. Kiloran wrapped her legs around his waist in a dance as old as time. He loved the feel of her legs, so shapely and firm. He walked them across the hall until her back hit the wall. “Are you too sore, or are you up for a little more activity?”

She moved one leg down around his and ground her pelvis into his jean-clad leg. “Try me.”

“Oh I intend to.” Wrapping his fingers around the back of her thigh, Lucas pulled Kiloran leg up and over his hip, opening her and rewarding him with a mewing sound that had always driven him crazy. Moving higher, he wrapped his hand over her bare ass and pulled away from her neck only long enough for him to raise an eyebrow at her missing undergarments and to see her sassy smile. “How long were you waiting for my brother to leave?”

“About thirty minutes. If he had stayed much longer, he would have seen me jumping your bones.”

“A surefire way to get him to run screaming from the house.”

“My thoughts exactly.”

Lucas looked up above her head. “Grab onto the lamp above you. Don’t let go until I tell you.”

Kiloran did as she was told, stretching up to grab the golden sconce. In doing so, her breasts thrust out and he could see her hard nipples through the thin fabric of his T-shirt. He brought his lips down over the small numbs and sucked until the fabric became wet and he could see the darker ring of the areola clearly through the now-transparent cotton. He repeated the action on the other breast as she squirmed, trying to grind against him again.

“Put your feet flat against the wall and hold your body up with your arms.”

“There is no way that thing will hold me.”

“Trust me.” He tweaked her nipple and her eyes widened in disbelief. Their sex life before had always been good, but had tended on the side of vanilla. He wasn’t going to make that mistake now. There was so much he had fantasized about doing to her all those years ago but hadn’t ventured. If this was all the time they were going to have, Lucas was going to take what he wanted. He pulled his belt from his jeans and placed his leg between hers to steady and hold her up. “Give me your hands.”

She did so without complaint or question. He laced the belt around her wrists, pulling it tight and then securing it so she couldn’t get out. Kiloran looked ready to argue but he could feel her getting wetter by the second and she didn’t seem aware that she was actually rubbing against him. Both hands gripped her ribcage, lifting her up high enough to get her hands back over the sconce. With the belt in place, she was now secured to the wall—only when he lifted her would she be able to get away.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, his voice just a whisper against her ear. “Do you trust me not to hurt you or to do anything that will harm you?”

She nodded.

“I need you to say it. I need you to tell me.” Lucas intertwined his fingers into the hair at the nape of her neck forcing her to look at him.

“Yes, I trust you. Yes, please, I need you.”

“Put your feet against the wall again and spread your knees.” She did as she was told and he groaned. He couldn’t help it. The sight of her open to him and tied to the wall had him nearly out of his head with need, and for a second he thought he might come right there in his jeans. “Don’t move.”

Kneeling before her, Lucas moved in and kissed the inside of her leg, laying kisses from the inside of her knee all the way up her thigh to just before her apex. He repeated the action on the other side, not touching her anywhere else until she started shaking. Lucas took both of her legs and hooked them over his shoulders, easing the weight on her wrists. Sitting back on his heels, he looked up at her as Kiloran stared back at him. Nothing else had ever been this sexy.

Lucas couldn’t wait any longer. He caressed the inside of her thigh, working his way to her center, taking a few long, slow licks, savoring her. Thrilled as she shimmied under his hands he felt his cock grow harder in his jeans. He forgot the thrill he got when he ate her. How she tasted and sounded under his tongue.

He circled her clit, nipping at it once before his tongue entered her. She bucked against him, panting and moaning until the hall echoed with the sound of her desire. Every noise spurred him on, made him want to hear more. He wanted to know how loud Kiloran could get, how much she could take until she lost control. His fingers bit into her hips as he pulled her closer so he could feast. She exploded with her legs locked around him, her hips bucking, and the sexy sound of her screaming out his name echoed through the hall and into the house.

When Kiloran’s breathing had slowed to normal again, Lucas lifted his head, and kissed her still-shaking thighs. Kiloran’s head fell forward, chin resting on her chest. Unhooking her legs from his shoulders, Lucas was careful to keep her weight in his arms. He stood between her legs, wrapped her legs around his hips, then undid his pants, allowing them to fall to his ankles before kicking them out of the way. He grabbed her T-shirt at V-neck, thankful she had chosen one of his oldest ones that had already started to fray. With one quick yank, the shirt split along the length, leaving her full exposed to him.

Her nipples begged for his attentions, and who was he to say no? Lucas kneaded and tweaked the nipples until they were hard pearls. When she whimpered, he was undone. Lucas wrapped his hand around her waist to hold her in place as he pushed his hips up and impaled her on his cock. The buzzing in his ears as he fucked her hard and fast droned out everything around him. All he could focus on was her clenching him tight. He thought he would die from the pleasure of it.

He changed their angle enough to grind against her clit—he wanted her to come with him, wanted to feel her shudder around him this time. Something deep within him
needed
them to explode together. And just when he was sure he couldn’t wait long enough to satisfy her too, she bucked against him, yelling loud enough that he could hear it over the buzzing. She tightened her legs around him, pulling him tighter into her, and took him over the edge with her.

Lucas rested his forehead in the crook of her neck as he caught his breath. Then he lifted her body up, allowing her to remove her bound hands from the sconce above her, before lowering Kiloran to her feet, but was loath to move away. Unwrapping her wrists, he kissed the raw, bruised skin. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m not.” She looked at her wrists, then kissed him deep. “That was the most amazing…” She seemed at a loss of what to say.

And he understood, because so was he.