Killing Lucas (14 page)

Big, wet tears now fell. Kiloran could have dealt with their anger, their hatred, even hostility, but not this understanding. This she had no defense for. “If it weren’t for me…”

“Tony would have found another way to make a mess of things. Now wipe those tears.” Michelle reached into her purse for a tissue and dabbed away Kiloran’s tears. “Tony explained, before coming up here the other night, about what happened all those years ago. Only someone who truly loved my son more than herself would have done what you did.”

Everyone fell quiet as Mr. Sherman came back in followed by the doctor. “Mrs. Sherman?” he addressed Haven. Haven trembled as she squeezed Kiloran’s hand until the blood stopped flowing. “He made it through surgery just fine and is in recovery. “

Haven would have collapsed to the floor if Trenton hadn’t had the foresight to place a chair behind her. Loud sobs of relief racked Tony’s wife. Trenton wrapped his arms around her for support, whispering words of comfort Kiloran couldn’t hear.

Lucas asked in a gruff voice, “What took so long?”

“There was more damage than we expected. We’ll have to watch for the usual signs of infection, but he should make a full recovery. Once he is situated in his room, you can go sit with him, Mrs. Sherman. Everyone else will have to wait until the breathing tube is removed. I am hopeful that will only take a couple hours at most. Dr. Sherman, I assume you have more questions for me, so if you would like to step over to the desk I can answer them will I finish some paperwork.”

“Kiloran, can I ask a favor?” Jacinda asked from behind her. Looking up, Kiloran saw Hunter standing behind his wife, holding a sleeping baby in his arms. Kiloran hadn’t even noticed her come in.

“Of course. Anything.”

“I want to get the children and some of the family, at least my mother, out of here and over to the hotel to get some rest. But we can’t sneak away with the press bombarding the door and staking out our cars.”

“You want a diversion?”

Jacinda looked a little ashamed to be asking. “I wouldn’t normally ask, but right now you’re the only one more newsworthy than Tony. And I really don’t think Jocé should be here. Haven needs to focus on her husband.”

“J.C., you don’t have to ask. I would be happy to do it for you. Give me a few seconds to collect my thoughts and ask one of the staff to tell everyone I am going to come out and make a statement. I bet the surgeon will want to make a statement too. The two of us together should be diversion enough for you to evade them.”

Sure enough a quick news conference was set up in no time. Kiloran fixed her makeup just enough to look pretty but not too much that she looked perfect. She knew how to play the press, and looking disheveled and forlorn would make the story juicier. While Jacinda and Spencer took the children down the back hall to a staff door, Hunter waited for the press to go en masse to set up their cameras to hear what the surgeon and Kiloran had to say. Hunter moved undetected to the car and drove away.

When the press conference ended, Kiloran looked up at the hospital, unsure where she belonged. She was walking in when a reported stopped her. “Kiloran, what do you think about them charging the James Filch today with stalking you?”

“What?”

“You didn’t hear?” The reporter seemed to gloat. “They found his hotel room full of pictures of you and a shrine dedicated to you.”

“Excuse me.” Kiloran rushed into the hospital, ignoring Lucas, who was waiting for her just inside, and ran to the nearest ladies’ room. Empting the contents of her stomach, she was sick until all she could do was dry heave. She jumped when a cold, wet paper towel touch the back of her neck.

“It’s over,” Lucas said, backing out of the stall so she could exit.

Kiloran didn’t know what to say, so she just nodded. She walked over to the sink to wash out her mouth.

“They got him. It’s him; they’re sure of it.”

She felt so numb. She had spent so many years afraid, looking over her shoulder, wondering if one of the men staring at her was the same villain haunting her and now she had a face to go with the terror. Lucas handed over her phone. “Your director has been calling every two minutes since the news broke.”

“I can imagine. Probably expects me back on set first thing tomorrow morning.”

“Actually, I told him you had to go to the police station tomorrow, so he opted for the following day in the makeup chair at four a.m.”

“The show must go on.”

They stood in the sterile seventies-era powder-pink-tiled bathroom. And although there were only a few feet between them it felt more like miles. A chasm forcing them apart. The few things that had kept them together were gone. Now what was left?

“Trenton wants to drive us back to the house.”

“You’re coming back?” Hope filled her for the briefest of moments.

“I’m not doing anyone any good here and I need to get my things. I’ll check into a hotel room here in town until Tony can come home.”

“Of course.”

Lucas looked out into nothing, but didn’t move, didn’t say anything else.

“Lucas?”

He looked up at her. “I can’t do this right now. I don’t know how to do this. Now that they have your stalker and with everything going on I just—God, I just don’t know anymore. I have to be here for Tony now.”

“I understand.”

“I just need time.”

“Time for what?”

Lucas stayed quiet for so long Kiloran wasn’t certain he had heard the question, but there in his eyes was his answer. He needed to time to get over her. Taking a deep breath she smiled, or at least she felt her lips curl into a semblance of a smile. “This is the end, isn’t it?”

“I don’t know. So much has happened, So many things I thought I knew…I’m not the same man I was all those years ago, Kiloran. I can’t give you what you need any more.”

“All I ever needed was you.”

“But you don’t know this me. Hell, I don’t know this me.”

She nodded. During their first break up the press had blamed her for the split, but she’d at least known Lucas was safe. Now she wondered how she would pick up the pieces. Her heart was breaking with every word he uttered.

“We can make joint statement from our respective PR agents saying we have tried and failed to fix our relationship. Of course my PR agent is lying in a bed upstairs…” Lucas clenched his fists in frustration. “It should have been me, not him. Why would he do that?”

Kiloran knew the question was hypothetical and although she could say a hundred things, none of them seemed to matter. Lucas paced the small room as if trying to get his thoughts together.

After a few laps across the tiled floor, he stopped and looked at her again. “Whatever you need to do or say to the press, I’ll back you. Tell them we’re still together; tell them we split. I’ll agree. I don’t want this to hurt your career any more than it already has.”

“I don’t give two cents about my career.” An ugly sob broke from Kiloran’s lips. Tony landing in the hospital because of her must have been the straw that broke Lucas’s back. And Kiloran, more than anyone, understood that sometimes life just became too much. “Where will you go when everyone heads home?”

“Tony’s, I guess. He’ll need some extra help as he recovers. He’s a lousy patient.”

“Well, good to see he isn’t perfect at everything.”

“You’re right, it is.”

“I never wanted Tony to get hurt. I never wanted anyone to get hurt.”

Rubbing a hand over a weary face Lucas took a deep breath. “There are things you don’t know about Tony, but he would do anything to protect those he loves and nothing on this earth would have stopped him. You need to believe that and stop blaming yourself.”

“But you blame me.”

“I don’t, not really. If anyone, I blame me. I was angry and when I’m angry I lash out. But none of this is your fault. It’s this maniac Jack Filch’s fault. Do you remember ever seeing this guy before?”

“No never.” No hesitation. No doubt.

“At least they have him, and hopefully you can get on with your life.”

“And you, Luc, will be finally be able to move on, get past us.” She searched his eyes. “Will you finally live again?”

“I am who I am. I can’t be the man I once was. He is gone.”

“I know.” She paused looking down at what she had no idea. But she couldn’t look at his face and see the pain there. He deserved so much better than this half-life he was living. He cleared his throat bringing her attention back to his face.

“Kil, we need to talk about if you’re pregnant…”

“I’ll tell you, I promise.” Instinctively, her hand rested on her flat belly, and hope filled her. She wished for a child to grow. Something for her to hold on to.

Someone knocked on the door and Trenton stuck his head in. “Hey, you two, people need to use the bathroom, and I think it’s time we all got out of here.”

“Okay,” Lucas said but although Trent looked like he wanted to say more he instead nodded and opened the door for Kiloran.

The long drive home was quiet. Trenton asked a few questions, but nothing to start a conversation with. Not that anyone seemed interested in conversation. Kiloran sat in the back seat alone, wondering about the new chapter in her life. And even though the need wasn’t there any longer, the desire to go off the grid grew stronger. She wanted to get away. And deep down, as she looked at Lucas in the front seat, she knew it was the fear that one day she would open a newspaper and find out he was married with children. And that would destroy her.

“Looks like your rental car was delivered, Lucas,” Trenton said, pulling into the driveway. It seemed funny to drive in and not have a team of FBI agents standing there. “I have to pick up everyone’s stuff at the cabin; I’ll see you at the hotel.”

Lucas shook his head. “I think I’ll just bunk down here tonight. I’m just not up for driving back into town.”

“Why don’t I grab Fenway and take him with me? The puppy will be a good diversion for Jocé. Hell, it’ll give me something to focus on as well.”

Lucas nodded and led Kiloran up the stairs, his movements slow and labored.
Bone-weary
was the only way she could describe him. So tired it went to the soul.

As they reached the room they had been sharing over the last few days, Lucas hesitated.

Uncaring about pride Kiloran made one plea, one final last ditch effort. “Stay with me tonight. Not to have sex, just to hold each other. Just one more night.”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Please, Luc. If I’m losing you again in the morning, give me this one night. I won’t ever ask anything from you again.”

Pulling her into his arms, he kissed her like a starving man. In one kiss everything she was feeling was laid bare. Anger, sadness, passion, lost love. No words could describe what she was feeling and Kiloran knew he felt it too. They never would have worked under the conditions they had to work with and asking what if would get them nowhere. He kissed her like it was their last kiss, and that shattered her heart to a million pieces.

Lucas broke the kiss and walked her to the bed. So tired they didn’t bother undressing, they lay down and he pulled her into his side, wrapping a protective arm around her. Kiloran lay listening to his heart beating and his lungs filling with air until the cadence eased into a slow, soft rhythm of sleep. And then she cried her soul out. Cried until she felt sick and tears no longer could fall. She cried herself into exhaustion, so when she finally slept there would be no chance of dreams at all.

Chapter Fifteen

“Then you live happily ever after, I suppose.”—Spencer to Lucas

T
he image in the makeup mirror stared back at Kiloran: numb, empty, and brokenhearted. She just had to get through the next few days and finish this shoot, and then she could move on. The pictures of Lucas and her from happier times mocked her now. She reached up and gently touched the picture on Lucas and her at the winery and its curled up edges. Memories and promises of a different life, one she could no longer hope to have.

Time to move on. She pulled them down one at a time. Kiloran took one last glance before placing the photos with care into the empty trash under her makeup table and pulled a tissue out of the box, crinkled it in her palm, and threw it in over the pictures for good measure.

Thankfully, yesterday had been busy. She had woken alone to an empty house and a note on the kitchen table from Trenton saying they would love for her to stop in after her meeting with the police. She had wondered what Lucas was telling his family had happened between them or if he’d decided the truth told it best.

Her meeting had gone as planned. She had been able to identify the man in the lineup as the one who had attacked Tony, even though she had never seen him before. She had declined to look at the photos they’d collected as evidence—she didn’t need those images in her head. Sometimes ignorance was bliss. Though they hadn’t been able to link him yet to all the other crimes, the police were certain they would with time. Timelines and a few receipts had so far placed Jack Filch in the general vicinity of incidents. She thanked Agent Vassar and the police officers before heading to the hospital.

Her visit there had been brief and thankfully uneventful. Tony hadn’t been awake and the family, with the exception of Haven, had all been in the cafeteria getting lunch. So Kiloran had been able to sneak in and out without notice. She’d helped Nancy check out and had driven her to the house the technicians had all rented for the shoot. Knowing her assistant was in the hands of friends, Kiloran had hugged Nancy and left with a wave. With the single bag she had packed that morning, she had then checked into a little motel outside of town. Alone and, for the first time in years, unafraid.

And now here she was, the first on set and ready to move on with her life.

The door opened and Nancy walked in. Kiloran ran to the Nancy, threw her arms around her, and hugged her for dear life. Nancy was okay and Tony was okay. Only Mel had been lost and Kiloran would mourn him until her dying day. “I’m so sorry.”

“Will you stop already? You only apologized a hundred times yesterday. I get it. But what do you really have to be sorry about? Some crazy man leaving you a present that I opened?” Nancy’s smile was weak.

“You shouldn’t have come in today. You should have waited a few more days.”

“Admit it, you would be lost without me,” Nancy said with a wink. “Now sit.”

Doing as she was told, Kiloran focused back on the mirror her eyes moving to the blank places where Lucas had always been. The empty space on the mirror was much like her soul; both seemed missing something.

Nancy pulled a brush through Kiloran’s hair. “Where are your photos?”

“Time to move on. Lucas and I won’t be seeing anymore of each other.”

“Really? Huh.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You have said it before Kiloran and every time you fold like a weakling. If he came walking through that door right now, you would beg him to take you back.”

“He isn’t coming back.”

“That doesn’t negate that you would go back to him again and again and again.” The brush strokes took on an almost painful pulling. “I never liked him. He wasn’t good enough for you.”

Unease and dread filled her. Deciding she had had enough, Kiloran went to stand, but found two strong hands biting into her shoulders, forcing her back into the chair.

“Nancy?”

“What did you see in him? You were happier without him. You should always be happier without him. Why did you bring him back into our life, Kiloran?” Nancy brandished a pair of dress shears at Kiloran’s reflection.

“Can you put the scissors down? You’re scaring me, Nancy. I’m good with the breakup. He wasn’t good enough for me.”

Please, please someone come in
, she thought looking at the clock. It was another twenty minutes before anyone else was due on set. Then Nancy, her face twisted in anger, grabbed a handful of Kiloran’s hair, and cut it. Before Kiloran could move, the scissors were pointed, open and sharp, digging into her neck. “Why did you bring him back into our lives? Why?”

“Nancy, please.” Panic ran through her
.
Oh dear God
,
what was going on?

Nancy grabbed another handful of hair and hacked it off, the large chucks of hair falling to the floor. Again the blades were brought to her neck, and this time the tips pressed into her skin making it hard to swallow. Small drops of blood formed on the surface, rolling down Kiloran’s neck. “I have always been here for you, yet you whored yourself to him time and time again. I loved you, but all you wanted was his dick.”

“Nancy, please stop.”

“Shut up, you slut. I saw you…saw you with him. God, I thought you understood when you got rid of him all those years ago. It was our secret, me and you. I would tell you what to do and you did it. No one knew but us who was in charge.”

Kiloran’s neck stung and her head ached. Fear racked her and nothing made sense. But she knew she had to get away, needed to escape until someone else got here.

Nancy eyes were wild as she licked the blood dripping down Kiloran’s neck then kissed her brutally. When Nancy looked back in the mirror, hatred filled her gaze. With one hand on the scissors and her free hand wrapped around the nape of Kiloran’s hair, Nancy yanked hard enough to swivel the chair around. Now facing the woman she didn’t know anymore, Kiloran tried not to wince as she was pulled to her feet.

“You have to be made to understand that you belong to me. You are mine, Kiloran.” Nancy face turned red with rage and without warning she backhanded Kiloran. Hitting the floor, her face burned as pain radiated up her wrist where she had braced herself for the fall.

But the attack continued. Kiloran curled up defensively as Nancy kicked her over and over. With a kick to her jaw, Kiloran lost focus, her body aching as the world spun around her. She could hear words coming from Nancy but nothing made sense. She rolled into the corner, coming into contact with Nancy’s purse, fallen to the floor.

Kiloran surged up and swung the bag with all her might, hitting Nancy square in the side of the head. Scrambling to her feet Kiloran didn’t stick around. She ran. The sun had yet to come up and in the darkness of the early morning all she could hear was Nancy’s shrieks filling the air.

She ran, not knowing where she could go. Since Lucas had pointed out the lack of security the set had been locked tighter. Her only hope was that she could keep moving. How could she have been so blind to Nancy and to this other side of her?

Running toward the estate house they had been filming in, Kiloran stumbled as the sounds of Nancy’s curses closed in on her. Panic seized her and the fight to stay alive kept her moving. It didn’t matter where, just as long as it was away from Nancy.

Walking the perimeter of the hotel pool, Lucas stared up at the moonless sky. He couldn’t sleep. Visions of Kiloran assaulted him at every moment. Their last breakup had actually been easier; he’d at least had his anger to keep him going. Now Lucas didn’t even have that crutch. He couldn’t even call this a breakup because they hadn’t been an actual item.

“Couldn’t sleep?” Lucas looked up to see a bathing suit-clad Spencer walking his way.

“Nope.” Spencer threw the towel he had been carrying over his shoulder on a random lounge chair before coming to stop in front of Lucas. “Thought I would swim some laps.”

“You do know the pool’s not open, right?”

“And has that stopped any of us before?”

Lucas smiled, even though he didn’t feel like it. He supposed some things stayed the same, and life would just keep moving on for those it didn’t. “No, I supposed it hasn’t.”

“Lucas, just go get her.”

“I told you it wasn’t real.”

“For who? You? Why did you watch the hospital door like you were waiting for her to come through it? And don’t think I didn’t notice the disappointment when you heard she had come and gone. I recognize the signs, brother, because I feel that way every time I see Haven, every time she isn’t at a party or an event. The difference is you still have a chance.”

“It’s not the same. Besides, Haven loves Tony.”

Spencer nodded. “But that doesn’t make me love her less.”

“Kiloran and I—there’s too much bad blood…”

“Please hear me out. I would give anything in this world to have Haven look at me just once the way Kiloran looks at you. You could have a second chance at something amazing if you would only just let your pride go. What have you got to lose? Nothing. And you have everything to gain. I have always respected you for being the smartest of all of us. Your ability to find solutions for any problem is a gift, yet it’s letting you down right now. All you have to do is tell her you love her.”

“Then what?”

“Then you live happily ever after, I suppose.”

And it really was that simple. “I need to borrow your car keys.” Spencer raised an eyebrow at him. “I left them with my cell phone, and I don’t have time to look for them.”

“They’re in my coat, back in the room. I’ll tell everyone you went to the set. We’ll see you both later on.”

“Thank you, Spencer. And your chance will come too, you know.”

“Maybe, maybe not.” With that, Spencer turned away and dove into the pool.

It took just under a half an hour to get to the set. Lucas looked at the dashboard clock and cursed—he only had twenty minutes until she was due in the makeup chair, and he wanted to do this right. He had so much he needed to say to her. His brother had opened a floodgate of feelings Lucas had thought dead to him. And now he couldn’t wait another minute to see Kiloran, tell her what was on his mind. Hopefully he could make it up to her.

There was no one around. Security had yet to arrive, but Lucas could see the lights on in Kiloran’s trailer. He pulled into the parking spot, killed the engine, and stared at the trailers. If only he had flowers or something to offer her. But as he approached, a nagging feeling kept telling him something wasn’t right.

The door was wide open.

Entering the trailer, Lucas found it empty. He scanned the disheveled room; locks of hair were scattered on the makeup counter and floor; a purse, chair, and trashcan lay tossed wildly around the usually immaculate room. They’d caught the stalker. What the hell had happened here?

Faint screams echoed in the distance. Nancy. But not the scream from days before when she was being attacked by wasps, this was a banshee-like howl.

Running out of the trailer, Lucas took the time for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and checked in the direction the sounds had come from. Only then did he see a silhouette slinking around the front of the house. He went around the other way, hoping to cut them off, hoping to find Kiloran first. He heard someone coming his direction and plastered himself against the edge of the house as he waited. But it was Kiloran’s scream of pain he heard instead.

Lucas rushed around the corner. There was Nancy, pressing something bright and sharp-looking to the soft spot under Kiloran’s chin. “Let her go.”

“Lucas?” Nancy hissed and Kiloran made a panicked yelp, as she was bodily turned to face him. “You lied to me, you lying whore! You said you were through.”

“She wasn’t lying. She didn’t know I was coming up here.”

“Liar!”

“Why would I lie to you, Nancy?” Lucas took a tentative step forward.

“You aren’t good enough for her.”

“I know I’m not. I came to beg her to forgive me.” He took a step forward, hands up in a passive stance. “I just needed her to know I love her.”

Kiloran’s eyes filled with tears and fluttered closed. She deserved to hear this privately, but first Lucas was going to tear Nancy apart.

“You love her too, don’t you, Nancy?”

“I have
always
loved her. I loved her long before she ever met you. You can’t just take her from me.”

“I thought so. But you can’t hurt people you love. You can’t keep scaring her the way you have.”

“If you would stay away, I wouldn’t have to scare her. I wouldn’t have had to sneak in to leave that message on the mirror when that idiot house cleaner was cleaning. She should be glad I didn’t kill her for leaving the front door open. That man the one who stalked her could have gotten in to hurt her.” Nancy’s voice shook with anger.

“But he didn’t get in.”

“No but you did. You just won’t take the hint.”

“Let Kiloran go.”

“No! No! No! You ruin everything.” Nancy stomped her foot and shook her head but the blade never left Kiloran’s neck “You were supposed to be in that car, not her. She was supposed to be stung, not me. She was supposed to be safe in the ambulance while you went over the cliff just like Mel. You screwed it all up. Then she would have turned to me, just like before. I would have taken care of her. She was going to leave me to go to at house in Canada but she would have been heartbroken and would have needed me. She needs me—
me
, not you.”

Lucas heard footsteps coming toward them and didn’t bother to look at who it was. “Stay back, this doesn’t concern you,” he said in a voice that he hoped conveyed
go get help, moron
. He managed to take two steps closer while Nancy’s attention was focused on the interloper. “Then why hurt her? Hurt me.”

“But you won’t die. I keep trying and you won’t die. Why—won’t—you—die??”

Kiloran placed a hand carefully on Nancy’s. “Nancy, please. Just put down the scissors and I’ll go anywhere in the world with you, just you and me.”

“You’re lying. You’re just trying to trick me!”

“Why would I lie? They have a man in custody they think is responsible for everything. If I help you kill Lucas, maybe he’ll die this time. But you have to trust me to help you.”

“You were leaving me. You were going to that
secret
house of yours in the middle of nowhere. The one you thought no one knew about. I overheard you saying after this movie you were leaving Hollywood behind.”

“I could never leave you. I was just scared. I was afraid everyone around me would be hurt, that includes you. Now I’m safe, so we can be together without me being worried about you.”

Kiloran closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them, a different woman stood there. Just like any number of characters Lucas had watched her create. “Look me in the eyes, my love.” Kiloran’s voice was soft and seductive as she turned her head to better look at her captor. The blade now lay limp against her shoulder.

“Do you mean it? Really mean it?”

“Yes, my love. Kiss me.” Kiloran lifted her face to Nancy’s and Lucas waited. It took but a second for Nancy to lower her guard and sweep Kiloran into her arms. The scissors dropped and Lucas leaped into action, closing the distance at sprint. Even as he moved, Nancy wrapped her hands around Kiloran’s throat and squeeze. Lunging, he grabbed Nancy around the torso, knocking her to the wet ground. Nancy was like a woman possessed; scratching and biting, she did anything and everything to draw blood. Wrapping his leg around her thighs, Lucas pinned Nancy to the ground, his hand around her neck. Only then did she stop.