Knight in Shining Suit (34 page)

He kept kissing me. “Good
luck with that,” he said in a low chuckle, and then he nuzzled my
neck again.

“
Damn it!” I cursed and
pulled his neck and kissed him on the lips.

I started pulling his
jacket off him. I didn’t care anymore. All I cared about was how
good I felt whenever Ryder’s lips landed on any part of my body. I
wanted him. I knew I couldn’t afford to keep him for good, but it
didn’t matter. What mattered was now.

He took his shirt off,
then I took off mine. He nuzzled his way down from my lips to my
chest. I couldn’t contain it anymore. I felt thirsty and hungry and
I wanted Ryder at that very instant.

But then he stopped. He
stared at me and then kissed me gently on the lips. He smiled.
“This has nothing to do with the necklace I gave you, Ash. Before
you put any more ideas in your head.”

I laughed. Then I pulled
him to me and gave him a gentle kiss on the lips.

“
I know. I won’t return
the necklace in the morning.”

“
Good.” And he started
kissing me again. I lost all my clothes save for the black bikini
panties I was wearing. Ryder was only in his boxers.

He kissed me again. I
couldn’t contain the fire threatening to consume me anymore. Ryder
was teasing me, prolonging my agony.

Finally, I couldn’t take
it anymore, I said to him, “Ryder, please… just put the rubber on
and take me!”

He stopped kissing me all
of a sudden. I opened my eyes, worried about what made him stop. He
was staring at me curiously.

“
What? Why?” I
asked.

He shook his head. “I
don’t… I don’t have… protection here, Ash.”

“
What? You don’t keep any
in your apartment?”

He shook his head. “I
don’t bring women here. What would I need it for?”

“
Don’t you have one in
your wallet?”

“
Now you know not all guys
keep condoms in their wallets.” He chuckled.

“
Then what are we going to
do?”

“
If you’re worried about
pregnancy, then I can withdraw,” he suggested.

“
But pregnancy isn’t the
only thing you worry about when you have sex, is it?”

He laughed. “You read a
lot of Cosmo magazines!” he said. “In a polygamous relationship
yes. But… we are monogamous, aren’t we?”

I stared back at him.
“What… do you mean?”

“
I mean I haven’t shared a
bed with another woman since I met you, and as long as there’s a
chance that we’re going to do this, I’m not going to.”

I smiled back at him. I
didn’t know what to feel. I just thought that right then and there,
I had died and gone to heaven. I was not expecting Ryder to make
that commitment. I thought it was a physical thing for him, but he
was willing to make it exclusive between us. And somehow, that
thought was as breathtaking as it was scary and confusing for me.
My desire for Ryder prevented me from thinking far beyond and
ahead. I’d deal with that thought in the morning.

“
Well… you know I haven’t…
before you. And I haven’t…” I stammered.

A glitter lit in his eyes
and he gave me a kiss on the lips. “You mean to say you haven’t
been with any guy but me?”

I nodded shyly.

“
Then we both have nothing
to worry about,” he said. He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on
the lips. Then he nuzzled my neck again.

“
Why are we doing this,
Ryder?” I whispered.

He stared at me. “Because
I want you, Astrid. Not in the make-believe games that we play. I
want you… for real.”

I kissed his jaw. “And
everything Ryder Van Woodsen wants, Ryder Van Woodsen
gets.”

He stared at me deeply.
And I thought I saw a shadow behind his eyes. He shook his head.
“Not everything…” And then without another word, he lost himself in
me.

***

When I woke up that
morning, I was naked and wrapped in Ryder’s arms. I felt
comfortable and safe, adored and protected.

I heaved a sigh. It had
been exhausting night of lovemaking. I was almost afraid it would
consume all of me. I lost myself to Ryder. All of me. I didn’t
think, I didn’t speak, I just… felt. I felt him inside me. And now,
it made me want to stay locked in his arms forever.

I stared up at him. He was
still sleeping. I knew he had a long day yesterday. He might want
to sleep most of the day today. I’d imposed too much on him. But he
was brilliant! He was the perfect fiancé and I’m sure my family did
not have a doubt in their minds that I was okay now. That the
Bryan-Geena episode no longer bothered me. That my engagement with
this wonderful, sweet guy was real.

I propped up on my elbow
and watched him sleep. He had a handsome face: his chiseled
features, his perfect nose, the slight cleft on his chin, his long
lashes. He was perfect.

Ryder and I, when we’re
together on equal footing, felt like two pieces of a puzzle. We
complimented each other, we read each other’s thoughts, and we
finished each other’s sentences. We made a great team. He made me
laugh. He saved me from hell. He encouraged me to be better. He
would have been the perfect boyfriend, perfect fiancé. But he was
still a complicated man, with a complicated life.

When this was all over, he
would still be the heir of the Van Woodsen Empire. He was
everything I tried to avoid since Kevin Moore and his mother
insulted me over dinner many years ago. And Ryder’s family was
probably a hundred times richer than they were.

I didn’t think I could
afford to break my heart again. And not with Ryder. He was ten
times the man that Bryan or Kevin was. Ten times the man I wanted!
And I was afraid I would hurt ten times more if he broke my heart.
And my heart… was the one thing I had left to protect.

I reached forward and gave
him a kiss on the lips. Suddenly, his arms tightened around me, he
kissed me back. He laid me on the bed and kissed me
thoroughly.

“
Good morning,” he
said.

I smiled. I touched his
cheek with my palm. “Good morning.”

He smiled at me
mischievously and then all of a sudden he was on top of me and he
was kissing me hungrily. The fire inside me ignited again and soon,
I was screaming his name at the gates of Nirvana.

When we woke up again, it
was already nine in the morning.

“
I’m going to the hotel,”
I told him. “What are you up to today?”

“
I’m coming with you,” he
replied.

“
Don’t you have work to
do?” I asked.

He shook his head. “When
my fiancée is in the city, I’m all hers.”

I giggled. “You are too
sweet! But I’m not really your fiancée, so you don’t have to go to
hell and back for me.”

“
As far as your family and
my friends know, you are my fiancée. I’m not going to go down in
history as being the first unromantic Van Woodsen.”

“
Really? Your family has
that tradition?”

He nodded. “Well, save for
my father, who’s too romantic. Apparently, he forgot that the
tradition meant he’s only supposed to be romantic to
one
.”

“
You’re not like
him?”

He shook his
head.

“
I thought heirs and
tycoons like you always have a line of women waiting for
them?”

“
There may be a line, but
that doesn’t mean I have to take my pick every single
time.”

“
Why is that? You said to
me last night that you don’t bring women here. You don’t have
condoms in your wallet. Why?”

“
Why not?”

“
You’re not
gay.”

“
Hell no!” He said. “You,
of all people, should be able to tell that.”

I laughed. “Why don’t you
have sex all the time like guys of your age and privilege
do?”

He shrugged. “I don’t pick
sexual partners overnight like some men do. I’ve always been pretty
cautious. And besides… why would you share your bed with someone
you can’t bear to look at in the morning?”

“
Supermodels and girls who
look like Alizia are running after you. They’re beautiful! Why
can’t you bear to look at them in the morning?”

“
Because it’s all clothes
and makeup,” he replied. “Nothing much underneath.”

“
And you don’t like women
who wear nice clothes and makeup?”

“
I want one who looks more
beautiful without makeup and wearing the simplest of clothes.
Someone who looks prettier in the morning, with her skin so fresh
and her hair disheveled against the pillows. Someone whose smile in
the morning is brighter than the sunshine,” he said solemnly
looking at me deeply.

I stared back at him, not
knowing what to say. I knew I was blushing.

“
Someone whose cheeks turn
the darkest shade of pink at a mere compliment I throw her
way.”

I turned away from him.
Instantly, I felt him tilt my chin so I could look into his
eyes.

“
Yes, Astrid. Just in case
you were wondering. I was talking about you.”

I sighed. “You’re still
Ryder Van Woodsen.”

“
So?”

“
So we will never work,” I
said to him. “Someday we’ll drift apart from each other and I will
lose you… and I don’t want that, Ryder. I would rather have you as
a friend and know that I can call you or see you once in a while
than lose you forever. You’ve… grown too dear to me. So we cannot
insist on making this real. And besides… I’m not ready to commit
myself just yet.”

He sighed and somehow, I
detected a hint of frustration in him. He stared at me and said,
“So until then we’ll just be friends?”

“
We will always be… just
friends.”

“
For your information,
friends don’t do what we did last night and this morning,” he
argued.

“
That was a slip,” I said,
turning red again. “We really have to stop, Ryder.”

He leaned forward and gave
me a kiss on the lips. I kissed him back. When he pulled away from
me, he said, “Yeah, good luck with that.”

I reached out and pinched
him in his arm as hard as I could.

“
Ouch!” he
yelped.

He took both my hands and
pinned them at the top of my head. I struggled to get away from him
but he was too strong for me. Then he leaned forward and kissed me
again thoroughly. And then we were both lost again after
that.

When it was over, we both
stared at each other thoughtfully.

“
I’m serious, Ryder. We
have to stop.”

“
Hmmm…” was all he
said.

I took a deep breath.
“I’ll make you a deal. New York,” I said. I couldn’t believe I was
going to do this again, but somehow, with Ryder, I just couldn’t
seem to help myself. I didn’t want to want him, but damn, I did! I
couldn’t help but give in to him… at least one more time. For
the
last time,
I
promised myself.

“
I’m listening,” he
said.

“
It ends when I leave New
York.”

He took a minute and then
he answered, “Okay. I won’t make advances on you when we get back
to Malibu. But until then, I have a whole weekend to do whatever I
want with you.”

“
Can you do me a favor?” I
asked.

“
Anything for you,
Ash.”

“
Can you stop being Ryder
Van Woodsen for a day?”

“
What do you
mean?”

“
I mean no expensive cars,
no platinum credit cards, no high-class restaurants, no expensive
presents. I want you to be you. Just you.” I stared at him. “Like
the bartender I met that night.” And I knew I asked him this
because that bartender seemed more real to me. That guy seemed more
like the guy I dreamed of.

He smiled, and this smile
really touched his eyes. He leaned forward and gave me a kiss on
the lips. “Yes. And you, my love, are officially mine
today.”

I didn’t know how long we
made out in bed. We were laughing, tickling each other and
chatting. Then we took a shower together. It felt good to be free
to express what I felt for Ryder.

He put on a pair of jeans
and a white hooded sweater. I smiled because he looked like the boy
next door… a beautiful boy next door.

“
You can’t take your car,”
I reminded him when we were out of his building.

He smiled. Then he pulled
me to him and gave me a kiss on the lips. “I know the rules,
love.”

We took a cab to the
hotel. I told my family that Ryder’s car needed to go for service
and thus we have to commute or take a taxi today. My family didn’t
mind. The weather was perfect. And besides, it was nice to
experience being a first-hand New Yorker.

To my surprise, Ryder knew
how to take a bus and the train. He knew the city quite well, and
he looked comfortable commuting like… an ordinary person. When we
were walking down Sixth Avenue, I was looking at him thoughtfully.
It dawned on me that I really, really liked him. Ryder fit in this
world too… my world.