Knight in Shining Suit (38 page)

“
Oh my God!” I threw my
hands up in the air. Adam bit his lip. It seems that for the first
time in many years, he didn’t know what to say.

“
Why?”

“
Why what?” he
asked.

“
Why did you do
this?”

“
Do what, Astrid?” he
asked back. “Allow the guy to invest in your talent because he
believes in you? Because he doesn’t want you to waste your
brilliance working for people who would only take advantage of you?
Or allow him to help you get back on your feet and see yourself the
way he sees you?”

I could tell that Adam was
holding back his anger. But I couldn’t do the same. I was
humiliated. Was Ryder playing me all along? Was I… a business
investment? He said he knew the reason why he was doing me all
these favors… and now I do too! He’s making sure he doesn’t invest
in a losing venture.

Adam and I started working
on this business even before I found out that Ryder Woodson, my
bartender, was really Ryder Van Woodsen, the heir born with a
silver spoon! When I thought I would never see him again, he’d been
there all along! Investing in me. Banking on my talents!

We stopped in front of my
house.

“
Look Ash… Ryder came to
me and said he thought you were brilliant at what you do and didn’t
want your talents to go to waste. Plus, he thought that you working
on what you do best, and what you love the most would restore your
spirits, which he so adored from the moment he met you.

“
He was looking at
investing in something other than what his family’s been doing for
decades anyway. He thought it would be perfect if you started your
own wedding planning company. He didn’t want you to know it was him
because he knew you would never agree. So he asked me to take over.
But he wanted nothing to do with it. He’s just a capitalist. He
just wanted reports on a monthly basis to see the progress. He
wanted you to have full control.”

I couldn’t believe what I
was hearing. And worse, I didn’t know how to feel! I’d always
thanked Ryder for my recovery. My getting back on the wedding
planning business was the only thing I thought I didn’t owe him.
But I was wrong. What was he trying to do? Was he buying
me?

“
How could you not tell me
this, Adam? You know I’ve been torn by lies already. How can you
not warn me?”

Adam took a deep breath
and I can tell he felt guilty. “Ash… I wanted to. But back when we
started all this, you didn’t know that the date you brought to that
wedding really was
the
Ryder Van Woodsen. I was right; you were hell bent on hating
him when you found out. Then, when you finally found your common
ground, I didn’t know how to tell you anymore. And believe it or
not, Ryder also didn’t know how without losing you. For all it’s
worth, Ash, I think the guy’s crazy about you. Give him some
credit.”

“
What credit? For tricking
me into managing his business venture?”

“
For getting you back on
your feet! For believing in you when you didn’t believe in yourself
anymore, and employing all means to make sure that you do again!”
he said angrily.

I was upset because I felt
manipulated and played. Ryder Van Woodsen, his money and his silly
games!

I got out of Adam’s
car.

“
Ash!” He ran after me.
“Please be rational about the whole thing. Just think about how
good Ryder had been for you.”

“
Maybe that’s the problem,
Adam. He’s
too
good for me! And now, I found out that I was a business
venture! Welcome to the lifestyle of the rich and the famous,
right?”

Adam closed his eyes in
dismay. Then he threw his hands in the air. “Alright, fine! I’ve
told you everything I know. Maybe it’s time you wake up from this
dream and face reality Ash! It’s time to break your fake
relationship with Van Woodsen so you can finally see the difference
between what’s fake and what’s real!”

“
Well, Adam, I can’t break
up with Ryder if he wasn’t really my boyfriend, can I?” I asked
back angrily.

“
Are you sure, he’s not
your boyfriend, Ash?”

He stared at me intensely.
I opened my mouth to respond but surprisingly, no sound came out. I
guess… I wasn’t entirely sure what my answer would be.

Adam sighed. “And for your
information, he’s only willing to invest in Manhattan if you’re a
hundred percent sure you want to move there. Otherwise, he’s
willing to fly in and out of L.A. as frequently as it
takes.”

He gave me one hard look
and then he was gone.

I was trying to sort out
the way I felt. It’s been a while since I felt heartbroken, and
now, I’m feeling like that again. But why did I feel this way about
something that wasn’t really mine? Ryder and I were nothing, and we
could never be anything!

So he was my boss. I
worked for him. Now, it’s even more complicated.

But shouldn’t it be
complicated only if I were dating him for real? We’re friends! A
couple of times, we did slip away from the boundaries of morality…
but who doesn’t sell herself to the devil for a few moments of
heaven once in a while?

Maybe Adam’s right. It was
time to face reality. Because in reality, as I knew it, Ryder and I
were nothing. No commitments. No strings attached.

He’d done me plenty of
favors, I’d repaid my debt. He invested in my talents; I’d
established his business. In a few months, I’d be able to show him
profits, and then I would be free to go. It gave me time to look
for something else, somewhere else. It wouldn’t be a lost
investment for him because I would hand it over to somebody
capable… someone like Nicole.

It was time to wake up
from this dream and start facing reality. I planned to tell my
family that I broke up with Ryder. He was too serious about getting
married, whereas, I had learned the value of not rushing into
things when I broke up with Bryan. I wanted to enjoy single-hood,
and he wanted to settle down right away. I’d tell them that as much
as he was a good catch, I was not good enough for him
now.

A huge part of me felt
shattered. As if I really did break up with Ryder… as if the
relationship were real.

I met up with my friends
the next night and I told them the truth.

“
What?” I asked. “Are you
not going to say anything?”

Dannie sighed. “I would.
But you’re not going to like it.”

I raised a brow at him.
When did Dannie care about my feelings? When he opens his mouth and
lets his brains spill out! “Say it!”

He shrugged. “Are you sure
Ryder isn’t your boyfriend?”

“
He’s a friend. Sometimes,
he’s a fling. Because I wasn’t ready to date just yet.”

“
That’s dense, Ash!”
Nicole said crossly. “You were ready to date ages ago! You just
didn’t want to. You don’t feel the need to because Ryder’s
there!”

“
He’s my rock!” I sighed.
“But I knew from the start that we could never be! Whatever we had
was temporary! We’re like the best of friends. But beyond that… I’m
scared it wouldn’t last. So… I would rather have him as a friend
forever.”

“
Then why aren’t you
dating anybody else? Not even
one
date, Ash! Your thoughts, your time, your days
are pre-occupied by Ryder Van Woodsen and you don’t mind. In fact,
you love it! So he’s not nothing to you!”

“
He’s not!” I said
crossly. “He’s… a dream. And it’s time to wake up now.”

They looked at each other
wearily. Then Dannie said to me, “Okay. Try. One date. Go out with
another guy. Maybe you’ll be able to tell the
difference.”

“
I’m not sure I’m ready.”
I sighed.

“
You’re ready to have a
relationship, Ash! You’re so over Bryan, which was the point of
your whole charade with Ryder! But still you refused to date
because you’re not waking up from your dream, if that’s what Ryder
is! It’s him you want!” Nicole said.

“
It doesn’t matter! Guys
like Ryder want you for a while… but in the end, they are bound to
marry their female counterparts. Rich. Privileged.”

“
Then try going out with
somebody else. Maybe you don’t need to move on from Bryan anymore.
You need to move on from Ryder!”

That thought still echoed
in my head until the next day. I wasn’t myself when I met with the
preferred photographer of one of my clients.

Ryder hadn’t called me or
texted me in days. Ten bucks says that he’d already spoken to Adam.
Maybe even the great Ryder Van Woodsen needed time to make up
excuses!

“
You okay?” Tyler
asked.

I shook myself back to
reality. “I’m sorry. I just… didn’t have much sleep last night. You
were saying?”

He smiled. “I’ll show you
these styles in the coffee shop around the corner. I can use some
caffeine as well.”

I stretched out from my
seat. “You’re probably right.”

We went to Starbucks.
After getting our coffee, we discussed the shots that the bride
would like to take specifically. I suggested places, and took down
the list of establishments I have to contact to make the
arrangements.

Afterwards, Tyler and I
had a chat about the business. When we finished, I stood up and
gathered my things.

“
Tomorrow night,” Tyler
said. “I have a little get-together with some photographers I know.
Do you want to come as my date?”

I shook my head. “I’m
sorry.”

If Tyler was surprised, he
didn’t show it. In fact, I think he was more amused when I turned
him down.

“
Boyfriend?”

“
No.”

“
Just broken
up?”

I didn’t answer. I have
gotten out of a bad relationship a long time ago. And yet… why am I
turning down a date with Tyler?

“
Okay. I’ll change my
answer. Yes, I’ll come with you as your date.”

***

There was nothing wrong
with saying yes to Tyler. It was probably the first time I’d been
formally asked out by a guy after Bryan. Not as a favor or as
repayment of my debt.

I knew I should feel
excited. Instead, I felt … really uncomfortable. The feelings were
too strong; I wanted to call Tyler even at six o’clock the next
evening to cancel.

Tyler was cute. An average
guy with ambition; someone like me. I really didn’t understand why
I felt so heavy inside. Even when he picked me up from my place, my
heart felt like it was going to break in half and shatter to the
ground. Like I had to stop this whole thing and be somewhere
else.

Most of the people in the
party were photographers, and some of them were like me, brought in
as dates. I should have been feeling happy to meet all these
people. But the fact that we met up in Rig Style made it more
difficult. The place had a way of reminding me of somebody I really
didn’t want to remember.

I belong in this
world.
I kept repeating to myself.
Somehow, I felt silly because I didn’t know why I felt so out of
place. I wasn’t even at ease talking to these people.

I stood in one corner
while Tyler talked to one of his friends on the other table. Man,
this date was the worst! And it was not because of
Tyler!

“
Still working?” I heard
someone ask behind me. The hairs at the back of my neck rose as I
felt his warm breath in my ear.

I was almost too afraid to
turn around to face the owner of that very familiar
voice.

I stared at Ryder blankly.
The expression on his face was hard to describe. He looked sober
and haggard, as if he hadn’t slept in days. He looked…
miserable.

When I looked into his
eyes, a voice inside me was involuntarily saying,
This is where I belong. This is where I
belong.
I wanted to hug and kiss him and
lose myself in his masculine scent, his warm embrace.

Then all of a sudden, I
felt Tyler put his arm around my shoulders.

Ryder threw him a cold,
murderous look that I hadn’t seen before.

But instead of being
intimidated, Tyler held his ground and in that jolly expression he
seemed to always have, he asked, “Is there a problem,
mate?”

Ryder raised a brow at him
and then he turned to me. I didn’t know what to say to him. I
wanted to remove Tyler’s arm from around me, but I found that my
limbs were frozen. Including my tongue!

In a voice colder than the
look on his face, Ryder said, “Oh, I get it. You’re on a
date!
” He made it sound
like it is the most disgusting thing he’s heard in his entire
life.

“
Excuse me, but I don’t
think I’ll allow you to harass my date, mate. So back off before I
call the bouncer on you.”

Ha-ha! Ridiculous!
If only Tyler knew who he was talking
to.

“
Is that all you
got?
Call the bouncer on
me
?” Ryder asked squarely. “I’d like to
see you try,
mate.
”