Knots (34 page)

“We don’t have to talk about that now,” he said, the mood shifting with the topic. “Get some sleep. Decide tomorrow how much longer you want to stay.”

She wanted to ask him if he even wanted her around anymore, but she didn’t have it in her to brave that question.

Her legs swung off the side of the bed so she could get up and go to her room, but something wouldn’t let her leave.

A voice inside her heart said she was being a coward again.

“Staying?” His voice shook.

“I’d like to, Sir, if that’s all right.” She stared at her feet, her unpolished toe nails and her pale skin.

What did she have to offer him? She racked her brain to come up with something. Nothing came to her, other than her heart.

“Of course it is. I wouldn’t have it any other fucking way.” He reached out, dragged her by the waist across the bed, shoved the covers out from under her, then wrapped her around his side so she was halfway draped over his chest.

She inhaled, making his chest hairs move because she was so voracious with her whiff.

“I missed you today, Sir,” she managed to choke out between her all-consuming need to take in as much of his masculine scent as possible.

“Glad to hear it, now sleep.”

That was it?

“Have I screwed things up beyond repair?” she asked, her voice failing her.

He grabbed the remote off his nightstand and flicked off the lights with it.

“Nothing’s ever beyond repair with me. Never think that, little girl, or I may have to punish you more than I did today,” he said, then snuggled into her.

“How’d you punish me?” She wrinkled her brow, and her lips touched each other.

“Ignoring your texts. Ignoring every thought of you. I gave you space like you’ve intimated you needed, but I knew it would be difficult for both of us.” He sighed and stroked his fingers down her back.

“I think it worked, Sir. I’m practically foaming at the mouth to be with you, and I’ll stay in your home with you for as long as you’ll let me.”

“Tell me that tomorrow after you’ve had a bacon slap or two, and then I’ll believe you.” He burrowed his nose in her hair and kept touching her in innocent, relaxing ways.

It wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

She wanted a hell of a lot more from him.

She wanted it all. How would she make him trust her when she worked up the nerve and shared that revelation with him later?

* * *

Sweaty clumps of hair clung to the back of Jeanie’s neck as she rummaged in the fridge for the last few ingredients she needed. No time to fix her lopsided, drooping ponytail now.

They’d be here in twenty minutes. It was a Saturday night, and his friends were going to spend their night out here, instead of somewhere else like a club or a bar.

She grabbed a bowl, cut the avocados into chunks and whipped up some guacamole.

What if his friends didn’t like Mexican food?

She was second-guessing her choice to make green pork enchiladas and was cursing herself for putting Mark in a position where he no longer trusted her to take his opinion and honor it.

Before she’d freaked out over him telling Pono’s family they were together, Mark would’ve told her what to make without a qualm if they’d agreed she’d be making meals.

She missed that already, and it hadn’t really happened yet since he’d been cooking up until now.

Shit, she was going to screw up this dinner for him—embarrass him in front of his friends.

Oh God! She groaned when it hit her—these were probably his BDSM friends. Other Doms might be showing up with their well-behaved, very trained, very sexy subs.

She had no idea what to wear. Black latex cat-woman suit? She didn’t own one of those. All she had that might fit in was her black stilettos. How about she answer the door in nothing but an apron and those heels?

Would that create the right impression?

Her stomach flamed, and hot blood pushed into her cheeks.

No way. She didn’t have a toned enough body to pull something off like that. And Mark said he didn’t share, so he probably wouldn’t want her to bare that much skin.

She went back to work, getting everything set up.

Once she had all the fixings set out on the counter for the guests so they could top their enchiladas how they liked, she went back into Mark’s room. She pulled down one of his white dress shirts and went back to her room.

She changed into some comfortably tight jeans, put on a dark blue tank top, set his shirt on over it, buttoned the middle and tied the bottom tails into a knot.

Then she pulled her hairband out, flipped her head down, tousled her hair and went to her bathroom, spraying it into that fun, sensual look.

She applied some light makeup, unsure of how much was too much. The last thing she wanted was to unknowingly mock their lifestyle by putting on whore red lipstick and too much eye makeup.

She slipped into the heels, and oddly, she was incredibly confident in that moment and happy to be in her own skin.

Everything was in place.

Mark should be arriving a few minutes before the guests.

He said he had to pick up some dessert. That was left up to him—not her.

He definitely didn’t trust her any longer.

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed down some air along with her sporadic waves of uncontrollable emotions.

She was all over the place today.

Chiiiick, chiiiick.

The front door was being unlocked.

She squared her shoulders, lifted her chin and wandered out to the kitchen, but it wasn’t Mark.

“Hey—you look nice,” Jay said.

“Uh . . . What’re you doing here? We’re expecting company,” she said, her voice cracking.

Was it okay if she was dressed like this in front of Pono’s brother? It wasn’t revealing or anything, but it definitely had a slightly sexy appeal to it.

He smiled. “I’m your dinner guest, silly.” He went over to the table and plopped down into a seat. He rubbed his right ear, then sighed. “They’ll be in here soon. Marly’s pouting about something stupid.” He rolled his eyes.

Should she run for it and change real quick?

“No problem.” She stared at her daring heels.

Had they even seen her in anything other than bland, conservative clothing and shoes?

“So, Mark didn’t tell you he’d invited us?”

She smiled and went mute. “I’ll be right back.”

There was little time, but she could at least take off the shoes. Those seemed like overkill.

She combed her fingers through her hair a few times to tame it down a little.

A disappointed sigh tugged its way out of her chest. Somehow she’d imagined a very different night, and somehow it had excited her to think of being introduced more into his dark world.

When she came back out barefoot, Mark was walking in the door, a grocery bag weighted down in his left hand and his right arm around Toloa’s shoulders.

The oddest sensations overwhelmed her. Peace. Elation. Belonging. Family.

With him in the equation, the numbers added up.

Pono wasn’t here as a buffer with his family to make sure she was included at some point, but Mark was.

He looked up at Jeanie and smiled so brightly it took her breath away.

She set a hand on the waistband of her jeans and slowed her breathing.

“Shoot. I made enchiladas,” she said under her breath. They weren’t overly fond of Mexican cuisine. Or at least she didn’t think they were.

“Enchiladas? Love those!” Jay said, slapping the table with his hand.

“Oh, good . . .” Jeanie went and got the plates out, set the table as Mark helped seat everyone.

He put away the ice cream he’d bought, then got them all something to drink.

He pulled out a Gatorade from the grocery bag and handed it to Jay.

Mark took a seat next to him. “Howzit?”

“Good. Good.”

In a blinding flash, they both slipped into pidgin talk. Pono would do that when there was a lot of family around, and half the time she could understand them, but the other half, she was confused.

“Girls been good to ya?” Mark shoved Jay in the shoulder.

“Yeah—got da kine wit da cho cho lips, and she fine.” Jay bounced his eyebrows. “She give me plenty of good time.”

“Jay!” his mother scolded, her eyebrows uniting and making a front against where this was going.

“She got a grip on da—” Jay tried to keep going, but Toloa hissed so loud it sounded like wind had broken in through the cracks in the doors and windows.

“Hshhhhht! You stop it!” Toloa barked another word in pidgin, Jeanie didn’t understand.

“I was talkin’ ‘bout her bike,” he said to his mom, smirking. He turned back to Mark. “Cool bike. Her bambucha okole fits real good up against my—”

“Shhhhhtk,” his mother cut him off again, then smacked him upside the head.

“Only teasin’. I don’t haf da girls—you know dat,” Jay said, chuckling.

He shoved Mark.

They bantered back and forth in broken English, and then Jay was back at it again.

“Yup! She always had doze tasty cho cho lips! Nevah grow tired of ‘um.” Jay snickered.

Oh my God in Heaven. Was Jay insinuating in front of his parents this girl had given him head more than once?

Mark shoved him harder this time. “Nah, braddah. Talk ‘bout dat later.” He grinned. “You wanna shoot hoops dis week?”

Jeanie almost dropped the casserole dish as she pulled the enchiladas out of the oven.

When did Mark become so fluent in Hawaiian slang?

Mark glanced at her, wearing a smug expression.

“Can’t. Fixin’ da car, brah,” Jay replied, shrugging.

Jeanie giggled to herself now that she knew that was Jay’s code way of saying he didn’t want to do it and he was trying to get out of it.

“How ‘bout catchin’ da waves?” Mark pointed at him. “You too busy for dat?”

“Nah. No wheels though. How’m I s’posed to get there?”

“I’ll pick ya up.” Mark got up and helped her start plating up the enchiladas. “Jeanie’ll go with us. She’s good.”

“Yeah—I ‘member,” Jay said, giving her the chin tilt and slight eyebrow raise of approval.

She beamed at him—at both of them.

It was a slice of heaven to hear them talking this way like buddies.

Mark set a plate before Kueili first.

Jay was chattering away with Marly, and their rapid fire way of speaking pidgin had Jeanie lost almost immediately. They spoke at supersonic speed until their mom said it was rude to speak in slang at the dinner table and to knock it off.

Jeanie was sad it had ended, but glad she could understand everything being said once again. It was nice to listen to it while she served food.

Once they all had their enchiladas, they went after refried beans, Spanish rice, guacamole, salsa, chips and sour cream, only taking what they wanted.

Her heart floated as she watched them fill their plates. No one seemed disgruntled over the meal she’d prepared.

Before Jeanie sat down last with her plate, she gave Mark a one-armed hug from behind.

He turned his face to her with a shocked but pleased expression. Without thinking about it, she kissed his cheek.

His lips spread into the most delicious smile.

She grinned back and took a seat next to him. He was sandwiched between her and Jay.

Marly was between her parents.

Seemed like a cozy, smart setup.

Mark talked to each person at the table, and made them all laugh, repeating jokes or funny stories Pono had shared with him over the years.

He was hilarious, and she was at ease.

“So, you’re staying in California, right?” Marly asked Jeanie.

“Yeah, I am.” Jeanie nodded and gulped.

Mark’s hand gripped her thigh under the table and squeezed.

Tingles flooded her legs.

“Where’ll you stay?” Jay asked.

“Here with Mark, if it’s not too much of an imposition?” Jeanie wanted to duck her head and hide it in shame for putting him on the spot, but she was unsure of how else to handle this since he was so closed off lately.

“Not at all. In fact, I thought we’d go back to Phoenix in a few days, box up her belongings, rent a U-Haul and bring it all here. She’ll be moving in permanently.” Mark gave her a look that was a cross between pleading and questioning.

“I need to set some things up with work, but I think that’ll be great.” Jeanie shot him a vibrant, reassuring smile.

He expelled a breath like he’d been holding it for ages.

His hand squeezed her under the table once more.

“Then we can see you more often?” Marly sat straighter in her chair and searched Jeanie’s face.