Lakeside Sweetheart (12 page)

Mainly, she needed him to tell her what had happened with his first love. And she had to explain to him that she might not be the marrying, settling-down kind. No matter how she felt in his arms.

She looked around and saw Kandi talking to some other teens. So she headed that way, giving Rory a wave as she went.

“Hi,” she said when she neared Kandi.

The girl wore old overalls over a black T-shirt, her high-top sneakers scuffed and worn but ultra cool in pink-and-black checks. She had on huge pink Lucite earrings.

“Hey.” Kandi tried to look nonchalant but gave up. “What's in the bag?”

Vanessa smiled. “It's for you. Rory—I mean Preacher—told me I've been cleared to be your official mentor. So I celebrated.” She offered the bag to Kandi.

But the girl looked embarrassed. “I didn't ask for a mentor.”

Vanessa could tell she'd moved in too quickly. “I know. I mean, I volunteered. I want to get to know you. I'll be leaving soon anyway, so you'll only have to put up with me for a few more weeks.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Kandi took the bag. “Thanks.” Then she shrugged and walked off with the other girl who'd been fascinated by this whole exchange.

Vanessa turned, thinking she'd leave in humiliation.

“Don't go out that door.”

Rory. Had he seen that whole exchange?

Chapter Twelve

“S
he's not interested. Did I do something wrong?”

“No, you did everything right. And she's interested. She's not used to people being kind to her.”

“That's a horrible way to live.”

He guided her toward the buffet line. “And yet, a lot of children learn to live that way. It's called survival mode.”

“I guess I have a little of that in me,” she admitted, thinking he'd probably learned his own survival test, too. And obviously neither of them wanted to delve too deeply into the past. “I hurt for her, Rory. How can I reach her?”

Rory watched the corner of the long room where the pack of teens had gathered. “By being here. Wanda told her you were her new mentor, but she's playing hard to get. That's what she does, and most people give up or ask for another kid to work with.” He eyed Kandi. “It's hard to trust when you've been let down so much.”

Again, Vanessa got the impression he'd been there himself. “I guess I have to
earn
her trust, right?”

“Yes, so don't take it personally. We all go through that, don't we?”

“Touché,” Vanessa said. “But you're right. And I was thinking pretty much the same thing about myself. You and I—we're still in that stage, that learning-to-trust stage.” She shrugged. “I was kind of snarky when I first met you.”

He did an eyebrow quirk, his eyes full of mirth. “Really? I don't recall.”

“Right.” She couldn't stop the low laugh. “I was a real pill.”

“Well, you're better now,” he said. He gave her one of those blue-eyed hopeful glances. “And we're both getting there. Let's eat and laugh and have fun. She'll come around when she sees her tactics aren't working on you.”

Vanessa wondered about that. Kandi had enough attitude to launch a ship. But Vanessa remembered her own hard times and how she'd acted out and rebelled. Big-time. She also wondered if she and Rory would ever be able to trust each other enough to truly open up about everything that had brought them to this point.

She had him figured out a little more now. He counseled and consoled others, but he didn't believe he was worthy of asking someone to listen to him. He was a good man. A kind and loving man, but she couldn't help but see that he didn't seem to expect those traits in return from others. Rory shielded his own hurts and pains behind that cheery, positive facade. He put others ahead of his own needs, an admirable trait. But it was also a front that protected him from the world. He needed to heed some of his own advice.

Because wasn't that a horrible way to live, too? Keeping your own hurts buried away while you counseled everyone else? Especially for a man of God?

Vanessa knew there was always a reason for such behavior. Her past was one of the main reasons she didn't want to risk settling down and having children of her own. What was Rory's reason for deflecting love from himself?

She thought about Kandi and decided for now she'd have to concentrate on that. “It takes one to know one,” she said to Rory in a quiet whisper.

“Maybe,” he replied. “And it might take one to win one over, too.” He gave her a soft smile. “One who understands and can be a positive role model in her life. One who has survived and thrived in spite of everything.”

“You give me too much credit,” she said. “I'm trying to get on with my life.”

“I give you a
lot
of credit,” he replied. “I admire you, and I'm proud that you're willing to put aside your discomfort and personal feelings to help a troubled young girl.”

She was proud of him, too. But Vanessa also hurt for him. She suddenly wanted to know the real Rory Sanderson, flaws and all. “You got me into this,” she said on a low, soft note. “I don't want to let you down.”

His gaze washed over her with a tender longing. “That won't happen.”

Vanessa followed him and filled her plate with spaghetti and French bread. “Maybe I just came for the food. This smells wonderful.”

“Wanda's homemade spaghetti,” he said, piling his plate full. “She cooks it for days. And if it got you here...”

Vanessa laughed at his lifted eyebrows. “Amazing.”

He grinned like a school kid. “Marla sometimes provides food, too.”

“I'll gain ten pounds, being here.”

He laughed at that, but his gaze slid over her in a warm flow. “You'll be fine.” Whirling, he called out. “Round up, people, so we can bless the food and then eat the food.”

Relieved that they'd moved on to another subject, Vanessa found a round table where an older man sat with a teenaged boy. Rory grabbed a seat next to her. “Vanessa, this is Paul Middleton and Johnny Thomason.”

“Hi.” Vanessa managed a smile, her instincts still telling her to bolt.

The man spoke to her, but the boy nodded and went back to eating, a sullen expression on his face. So maybe she wasn't the only one experiencing difficulties with this.

“Mentor and mentee?” she whispered to Rory.

“Yep. And yours should be here any minute.”

Vanessa glanced around. “What if she left?”

“She can't leave without her foster parents.”

Vanessa tried to eat, but the bread stuck in her throat. Why did she have to go and get involved? She couldn't help anyone. She was too confused and messed up to know what kind of advice to give to a teen.

She'd have to tell Rory she'd changed her mind. And she'd have to learn to avoid him and those beseeching blue eyes, too.

But a swish of air and a plop next to her caused her to look around. Kandi made a lot of noise getting into her seat, but she had the bag of goodies in one hand and her plate of food in the other. Her frown dared anyone to question her.

Vanessa glanced at Rory. He gave her a quick smile and then turned to the young girl. “Hey, Kandi. What you got there?”

“As if you didn't know,” Kandi retorted. Then she stared over at Johnny. “Did you get a bagful of fingernail polish?”

Johnny looked unsure about how to respond. He had fine blond hair with long bangs that hid his eyes. He shrugged. “I dunno.”

“I brought Johnny some books,” Mr. Middleton said. “I heard he likes to read.”

Johnny looked mortified. He kept his eyes on his plate.

Kandi laughed. “I got some books, too. Can't wait to read them.”

The sarcasm fairly dripped from her words.

Mr. Middleton tried again. “Books can change your world. The more you read, the more you can learn and grow. A good book can help solve a lot of the world's problems.”

Johnny looked relieved but Kandi gave a little snort. Then she turned to Vanessa. “Hey, thanks for the bag. It's almost like Christmas around here.”

Vanessa glanced at Rory. He nodded in encouragement, so she dived right in. “I'm glad my gift makes you feel like it's Christmas,” she said to Kandi. “But I'm not here just to give you gifts. I'm here because I know how it feels to be all alone and scared and confused—”

“I'm not confused and I'm not scared,” Kandi said. Then she got up and walked away, leaving her food and the bag behind.

* * *

“I'll walk you home.”

“You don't have to do that,” Vanessa said, wishing the last couple of hours could have gone a little better. “I'm going to help clean the kitchen and... I can find my way home.”

“I'll meet you at the door when you're finished,” he said, his tone determined.

Vanessa nodded, deciding she wouldn't argue with him right now. She hurried to the kitchen and soon had her hands immersed in soapy dishwater. The dishwasher was already full and running, so she was washing these few big pieces by hand.

Kandi walked up and picked up a dish cloth. “I'll dry,” she said, her scowl belying the polite offer.

Vanessa didn't hide her surprise. “Now you decide to talk to me?”

“I'm drying dishes, not talking,” Kandi said, still stubborn, still full of bite.

“Oh, okay.” Vanessa scrubbed a baking sheet with renewed determination.

“I think it's clean,” Kandi said with a smirk.

“I don't know.” Vanessa wanted to show a bit of her own attitude. “I still see a few grease spots.”

“Those have been there forever,” Kandi retorted. “They won't come out, no matter how hard you scrub them.” Then she whirled to stare at Vanessa. “I'm sorry I was rude to you. I like the stuff you gave me.”

Vanessa tried not to show too much enthusiasm, but the comment about those dark spots on the baking sheet stayed with her. “Okay.”

“Wanda told me I needed to say that.”

“Of course.”

The girl did a fabulous eye roll. “But... I'm sorry. Really. You put some pretty cool stuff in that bag.” She wiped the baking sheet dry. “I might even read that book. Looks like it could be good.”

“I'm glad to hear that,” Vanessa said. “Wanda invited me to come by her house sometime. So you and I can have some quality time together.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” Kandi threw down the dish towel. “Later.”

“Later,” Vanessa called. Then she grinned. Big.

And looked up to find Rory grinning back at her.

* * *

Rory wanted Vanessa to trust him.
Him
. Not just the preacher in him, but the man he'd become. So when they reached her porch, he pointed to the big glider hidden behind some overgrown jasmine bushes. “Let's sit a minute, okay?”

She looked unsure. “What is it?”

“Nothing.” He took her by her hand. “I think we need to talk.”

“I did something wrong, didn't I?” She fell onto the old metal glider, causing it to squeak and groan in protest. “Did Kandi's foster mom tell you to never bring me back to the youth meetings?”

He smiled and shook his head. “No. In fact, she wants you to come to visit with Kandi next week. Maybe Tuesday night?”

Vanessa looked shocked and pleased, all at the same time. “I'll see if I can clear my schedule.” When he squeezed in beside her, she asked, “Is that what you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No.” He took in a deep breath, the scent of her floral perfume warring with the smell of jasmine and gardenia. “I wanted to tell you...about me.”

She looked surprised again. “Really? I mean, everything?”

“Maybe,” he said, dread in the one word. “I need you to understand how I feel, how I can identify with you and Kandi and all of the other foster kids we try to help.”

Vanessa took his hand, her fingers curling against his with a grip that felt sure and strong. “I want to hear all about you.”

Rory nodded and stared out into the moonlight. He could hear the distant sound of the lake's gentle waves hitting the shore in a never-ending tug. “I told you I was a foster child. I never knew my real parents, and I wasn't adopted until I was older. I always thought something was wrong with me since no one wanted me. But when my parents brought me home, my mom told me that there was nothing wrong with me. She said God had been waiting to find the perfect family for me. And she told me how long she and my dad had waited to have a child.”

“She sounds like a wonderful person,” Vanessa said. “Did you...do you love them?”

“Yes.” He could admit that easily. “They were older than most who adopt, but they gave me a good life. My father was retired military, gruff and demanding but fair and always willing to listen. When he died, I fell back into this kind of despair. But we got through it, Mom and me.”

He wasn't sure he could do this. So he stopped and took another long breath.

“It's hard,” Vanessa said. “Death is hard because it doesn't give you a second chance.”

“Right.” Rory certainly understood that concept, but he knew death was another phase. “It's final here on earth. But God promises us we will all be reunited in Heaven.” He touched her hand. “That's our second chance. Seeing our loved ones again in eternity.”

Vanessa looked down. “Do you think my mom is in Heaven, Rory?”

Rory heard this question a lot. “I didn't know your mother, but I'm hoping you will see her in Heaven, yes.”

“But you can't promise me that?”

“I can't, no. But Christ promises those who follow Him eternal life.”

Vanessa gulped a deep breath. “I wish I could have talked to her before she died. By the time I got there, she was already in a coma. I was so angry and bitter and awful.”

Rory stopped talking and pulled her into his arms. She felt fragile and delicate, but he'd seen the steel she'd placed around her heart. “I don't have all the answers, but we can always hold out hope that everyone we love had a change of heart toward the end of life and will be there waiting for us. I hope your mother felt your presence there in her last hours.”

Vanessa lifted her head and looked into his eyes. Rory forgot the rest of his story. He wiped at her tears and then he leaned down and kissed her. Vanessa's lips were soft and silky. She pulled her hand through his hair and tugged him closer.

Rory became lost in the kiss, lost in her touch, lost in what this felt like, holding a woman in his arms.

And he knew without any doubt that Vanessa could be the one for him. But how in the world could he ever convince her of that?

But it wasn't about convincing Vanessa. He had to let go of all the things he'd been holding to so tightly, too. So he pulled back and touched a hand to her face. “I can't do this, Vanessa. Not yet. I'm not ready to let go of my secrets, because it'll be like saying goodbye to the woman I loved all over again.”

He hated the hurt and fear in her eyes. “Rory...?”

“I'm sorry.” He kissed her again, and then he got up and went back to his side of the street.