Languish for you (My soulmate) (6 page)

I sat on the chair slowly and indecisive. When my butt was on the chair, I lifted my eyes up to them. They were studying me, letting me feel small and stupid again. I didn't like this feeling.

“Staring is a rude thing,” I snapped, putting my hands on the table.

Christopher grinned.

“Truth sometimes insults, Trinity,” he retorted.

“But it is the only thing which saves,” I had never been very impressed by debates, because it seemed so pointless to talk about one thing which had a different meaning to everyone. You could never reach a compromise, and the reward for arguing with someone, will be always anger and loathing for that person with whom you had talked.

“But not every wants to be saved. Sometimes it's better to live in the darkness,” he contemplated..

“And if that darkness takes away from you your happiness?” I asked, sulking.

He took some minutes to create a replication to my question. How it seemed from his face's expression, I had given him one tough question.

I stole a glanced at Avery. Her back was leaned against the chair's backrest. Her arms were crossed against her chest. Her face was letting me see that this stupid talk was amusing her. Was I pushing one of Christopher's buttons which I shouldn't?

“And if the truth steals your happiness?” he decided to attack me with a question. I could endure that.

“If one door is closed, there will be another one which will be opened,” that was my life's motto. I tried to live according to it. Every defeat, every dire calamity and every word wasn't as bad as people wanted to believe. All those things only bestowed a chance for us to make our lives better, understand ourselves better.

“Not every time appears the opened door,” his face became solemn. He didn't look friendly now. He almost looked like a fox which was creating a plan how to give me ultima ratio.

“But only if you are blind.”

He smirked.

“But many...”

“You know what? You two have filled up my cup,” Avery said, gesturing her hands. “Anna, please, bring food here, because someone will die. And not because the plates were empty,” she shout.

Christopher's smile came bigger on his face. For my surprise, my smile also grew from microscopic to enormous.

Soon a plump woman came inside the room, carrying a huge tray with food on it. I could smell grilled meat, mashed potatoes. Soon the food was lying in my plate with salads. I gasped, making my eyes bigger in my face. Meat? Really?

I lifted my eyes at Anna and then to Christopher and Avery, who had already started eating their food with a huge appetite.

“Is something wrong?” she asked me in German. Even bigger astonishment hit me. I understood her so easily, like she was talking in my mother tongue.

Christopher and Avery lifted their eyes at me, studying my face like it was an open book. Maybe it was. I had lost control over my emotions these days. I wondered why.

“I... I don't eat meat,” I said quietly.

“You don't eat meat?” Avery asked dumbfound.

I nodded, feeling fire in my cheeks. I always felt uncomfortable when it came to my eating habits. People just didn't understand how I felt seeing meat and then alive animal. I didn't think it was right to let someone live only to kill it later. And why? That someone could built a castle of money? People killed in the past only because they needed food for survival, no because to gain some extra weight and end up in hospital in which four or maybe even more people will be required in order to move him on other side.

“Why?” Christopher asked, putting his fork on the table.

“Because it tastes bad and ... I can't put it into my mouth because I see a living animal in front of me. And the thought that I am...” I didn't end my sentence, because I felt how my head started spinning.

“Bring some chocolate,” Avery said quickly and put her arms around me.

Anna nodded and soon was standing with a bar of black chocolate next to me.

“Eat,” Avery put a small piece of chocolate in my mouth. I chewed it, feeling a bit better. “More,” Avery insisted and soon another piece of chocolate found its way into my body. “Better?” she asked when a half of chocolate had magically disappeared from the table.

I nodded and dared to scan the area. Christopher was sitting, staring at me. Anna looked like she had seen a ghost in front of her while Avery was wearing a concerned person's mask.

“Interesting,” I heard Christopher saying. Before I could even ask him what he had in mind, he stood up and left not only the room, but also and the flat.

I looked at Avery with question in my eyes. She smiled sadly and took another piece of chocolate which had to be put in my mouth.

“Don't worry. You will soon get to used to us,” and I tasted chocolate in my mouth again. I didn't even dare to ask her what she had in my mind by telling me that.

“Anna, could you do some vegetarian dishes?” Avery asked.

She nodded and turned to leave the room. I lifted my hand up to stop her.

“I should also tell then that I don't eat fish, mushrooms and various sea food.”

“Are you serious?” Avery thought that I was lying? Sometimes I even myself wished that it could be my personal joke, but it was the truth, unfortunately. I didn't like sea food because of its taste and the fact that maybe that thing was alive once. Mushrooms ... I didn't even want to think about them in my mouth.

“Really interesting,” now it was Avery's time to tell those words.

“Please. I am not the first and not the only person who has limited food ration.”

Avery lifted one corner of her mouth up. She had something to say. I saw that in her eyes. Unfortunately, she decided to leave her thoughts in her head, making me even more curious and even suspicious.

Chapter six

Two days had passed and I was almost used to them and the fact that something really bizarre had happened to me. I was alive. How many people had this chance to live again? Now maybe I understood my characters which didn't want to be special. They just wanted to be average, that grey mass which was boring and too serious sometimes, or dumb. It depended on who you were: with brains or had the herd instinct.

I heaved a sigh and looked at my laptop's screen. Thirteen pages, with many words of the story on which I was working now, shone to me. Avery and Christopher insisted that I would spend my time doing the one thing which let me feel relaxed, happy and important; creating new words. For some reason it was really essential for them. They even asked me it I needed something to make my time, when I was writing, better and more stimulating to press those keyboard's keys.

I put my laptop away from me and stood up, leaving that warm bed aside. I needed to do something else now, for example, see in what kind of city I was living now. Also, maybe do some shopping. Surprisingly, but my protector and tutor were rich people. I had a lot of money in my new wallet just waiting to be spent.

I had never liked to waste my time on make-up or choosing the right garment to put on my body. So, my preparation to meet a new place, took me only about ten minutes.

I didn't know if Avery and Christopher be pleased by my intentions. After all, they had strictly ordered me to stay in my room. But I wasn't a prisoner. I needed something more that four walls and the laptop without the internet. When I asked why I was disjunct from the world, they told me that I could get curious to find out how my family lives and that would be unwanted.

“To them, you are dead. So, they should be dead to you too,” my tutor said in a cold tone.

One side of me perfectly understood that I should stay away from my previous life, but another want was dieing to know how my family moved on.

Curiosity killed the cat, I said to myself when my eyes turned to my new purse.

I left my room. I didn't find neither Avery nor Christopher. Only Anna was toiling in the kitchen, listening loudly the radio. I decided not to bother her, but still, I knew that I shouldn't just leave without telling anyone where I was going.

So, I found a paper and a pen. I wrote down that I want to see the city. Also, I added that I took my new mobile phone. I thought that was enough for them not to call to the police.

“Your new name from now on will be Vanessa,” Christopher said, giving me my new passport. I looked at my picture, at my new name. Vanessa Stanton. I was eighteen years old girl. Great.

I quietly opened the front door and left the flat. Anna hadn't even heard me leaving. Super.

I left the building. The sun met me with the birds' songs which was mixed with city's noises. Suddenly I felt fear rising in my body, but I knew that it wasn't time for me to panic. Yea, I was in a
new city
. Yea, I could magically understand every language in this world. Avery told me that it was death's present for those who came back to live a new life. Good present, I had to say.

Step by step I moved forward, letting my eyes wonder from one side to another in order to memorize the surroundings and get used to this place.

Not far away was the main street with many cars moving to every direction which was possible in this world. Also, many people were walking with their own thoughts, ignoring other people next to them.

I stopped and took another deep breath. Was I really ready to explore this city? Now?

I laughed in my mind. I remembered my first day in
Germany
, far away from my family and friends. I could say that I was alone, although my aunt was with me. But still, she was working a lot. So, I could say that I was on my own at that time. But surprisingly, I didn't feel fear or any other bad emotion. Quite contrarily. I was excited. I waited for that one moment when I will step out from the flat and could see the
new city
.

I glance over my shoulder to make sure that no one was trying to reach me. No Anna. No Christopher. No Avery. Alone.

I nodded to myself. Yea. I needed to take control of my life, although I wasn't ready for this big step. But here the question appeared. Will I ever be ready for something?

I bought a ticket and sat into U-bahn which had to bring me to the city centre. The best place to start your wondering was the centre of the city. Only there the life really was spinning, drawing everyone in its hug in which you could experience everything: happiness, anger, new knowledge, new memories and so on.

At first, the U-bahn was almost empty; only four seats were occupied by different genre and age people. But after two more stops, the carriage was almost full. There was an empty seat in front of me and on the other side next to an old woman, who was reading a book.

“Can I sit here?” polite man's voice asked me. I glanced at him and nodded without even taking a better look at his face or body. It was enough for me to understand that he was young. “Thank you,” I heard a smile in his voice.

I didn't lift my eyes to watch him. No. I just stared at my fingers, which were playing with my purse's zipper. I felt his eyes on me. They were like fire, wanting to leave holes in my body. Yea, he was checking me out and I hated that feeling, which always dared to hug me. I knew that I wasn't ugly, but I wasn't the dead drop beauty, either.

I lifted my head to meet his vivid blue eyes. Our looks locked immediately, spreading strange vibes through my body. The same effect my eyes had on him, too. His mouth opened a little, in his eyes I could see surprise and even chock.

Now I took a better look at him. Dark brown hair, which was a bit longer that other guys', giving him jocosity and young man's impression. I found myself wondering, what it would be to let my fingers sink in his hair.

I lowered my eyes, before more stupid intentions or thoughts could be in my head created. But lucky for me, my self-defence turned on.

Run, the first thought crossed my mind. And what you know, I decided to do exactly what my head ordered me. I stood up and walked closer to the doors. It was silly to run from a person, who didn't do anything bad to you, but still, I wasn't used to be around guys, who checked me out so apparently.

But as the luck would have it, he stood up also and approached closer to me. Now his face radiated with curiosity.

The U-bahn stopped and the doors opened. Without missing a beat, I shot forward, straight to the people crowd, hoping to get away from him. But he was stubborn for my luck. He didn't let his eyes even for one second look anywhere else but me. Intimidating much, I said in my mind.

Soon I found myself under the sun and in middle of the city's life. I glanced over my shoulder, trying to see if he was even now following me. No. I didn't see him. I sighed. Good. I lost a person.

But I knew better than to throw a party next to the entrance to the metro. I quickly walked away, choosing the way in which I could find many people, who could hide me from unwanted eyes.

After ten minutes of feeling like a bunny, which was chased by a big wolf, I decided that he should be done with me, if he was still searching for me. But really? Why should he do that? Maybe it was his stop. Maybe he wasn't searching for me, but for his friend.

That kind of things you could imagine when you have such as wild imagination as I had. I could scare myself so much that my brown hair could become white.