Learning-to-Feel (6 page)

Because this felt right.

I leaned into the spray of water and kissed him. He pulled my bottom lip inbetween his and bit it softly, playfully, before releasing me. He turned the water off, and I handed him a towel. I couldn’t help but watch him as he dried himself.

I wrapped the towel around my waist. I needed to say what was on my mind before we left the bathroom. I wanted to get it out there, knowing if I put if off now, it would go unsaid. "Trent, I need to tell you… I’m sorry for what I said."

"But Nathan," he countered, "you
do
need time. I don’t want to rush you into anything you're not ready for."

"I won't do anything I don’t want to do," I told him.

He looked at me thoughtfully. "Nathan, are you scared of what
this
means?" He indicated to the space between us. Then he quickly added, "Being with a guy?"

"No, not anymore," I answered. "I was, I mean, at first. The whole guy thing was weird at first. I've never thought of myself as being one thing or another, straight, not straight. I was neither…" then I admitted, "I’ve never been very sexual."

He shook his head, like he couldn’t believe it. "You seem pretty sexual to me."

"Um, about that... " I trailed off. I needed to ask him this. "Look, I’m a doctor, so forgive the clinical approach. I don’t want all the details, but I need to know you've practiced safe sex." He blinked, and I explained, "As a doctor, I have regular blood tests, and I know I’m clean."

He grinned. "My last test was just before I left New York, and I haven't been with anyone since."

I chuckled, relieved, and I felt my cheeks heat. Trent leaned against the bathroom counter and smiled.

"Nathan, I’m gay, as in
not
straight," he said outright. "And we've been…well, we've been pretty sexual. I need to know if you're okay with that?"

"Yes, I am," I said immediately. I stepped closer to him. "What we've done together, what you've done to me, I’m very okay with," I told him and cupped my hand to his jaw. I looked in his eyes and told him very seriously, "And I’m pretty fucking happy you're gay."

He laughed, and for the moment, the seriousness was over.

"Look, Trent," I told him, "I have no idea what I’m doing, and that scares me. And I have no idea how long you'll even be here, but I’m in this, whatever the fuck it is."

He smiled; his whole face smiled. He pushed himself off the bathroom counter and kissed me. It was a sweet, happy kiss. Then he repeated my words. "I’m in this too, whatever the fuck it is."

"Yeah? Really?"

"Yeah, really," he said with a laugh. "Don’t sound so surprised. You can practice being sexual with me anytime."

I was smiling like an idiot.

"One thing though," he said playfully. "Maybe next time you make me come, we could try somewhere other than the kitchen."

I laughed and nodded. "Sure, next time." And the mere thought of that made me smile harder.

Trent grinned at me like I amused him. He pulled the towel from around his waist, exposing himself fully to me, and dried his hair. My eyes were drawn to his dick, his thick, heavy, limp dick, and when I forced my eyes to look at his face, he was smirking.

I swallowed hard and exhaled loudly, and he chuckled. "You have an early start, Doctor." He laughed as he walked out of the bathroom, rubbing the towel into his hair. He was naked, so of course I watched him. His back was as beautiful as his front. His ass was… well, it was fucking perfect.

It took me a second to even think of moving, and when I made it to my room, I fell into bed expecting my mind to be racing about conversations, decisions, sexual orientation…

But it didn't.

I fell asleep smiling.

I got to work the next day, and I still couldn’t help but smile as I recalled saying goodbye to Trent. I'd already taken Bentley for a run and shared breakfast with him. When I came back down stairs showered and dressed for work, Trent was in the kitchen.

He was standing at the counter stirring his coffee mechanically, still half asleep. I walked up behind him, put my hands on his hips, and ran my nose along his shoulder. He sighed, and I smiled, pushing his groin against the counter and squeezing his hips so he groaned. I kissed the back of his neck and said cheerfully, "Gotta go to work."

I took a step back from him. He turned around, his eyes dark. I picked up my car keys and grinned at him as I walked out. He yelled at my back, "You don’t play fair!"

I smiled all the way to work.

I was still grinning, and when the hospital staff saw me, they noticed. There were numerous comments on fresh country air, compared to the stress and perils of city living, smog and being overworked in city hospitals. I smiled and agreed with them to be polite, not bothering to correct them.

It wasn’t the fresh air. Not at all.

Work filled my day, and I found the familiar routine comforting. The hospital was smaller, and there wasn’t the influx of varied cases, but I enjoyed the more personal interaction with the patients.

The female staff tended to hang around me a little too much, lingering, watching, flirting.

I ignored it, of course. I always had. The Peters girl stammered and blinked her way through another awkward conversation, though I couldn’t help but smile. Not because what she was saying was funny or witty, but because I knew Trent would be laughing hysterically if he witnessed it.

When I got home the TV and lights were on
.
Trent walked down the stairs wiping his hands on his shirt.

"Were you painting at this hour?" I asked, putting my satchel on the table.

"Not house painting," he said with a grin, but he didn't elaborate. He walked into the kitchen and retrieved a plate from the fridge. "I made enough dinner for you. Figured you wouldn't have eaten."

His thoughtfulness warmed me, and I gave him a genuine smile. "Thank you."

When I turned to put the plate of pasta in the microwave, Trent was quick to stand behind me. He put his hands on my hips and pushed me into the counter, pressing my groin against the cupboard, just as I had done to him that morning. He ran his nose through the hair at the nape of my neck and breathed a sigh across my skin, causing me to moan and shiver. Then he was gone.

"Gotta go have a shower," he said with a laugh, and I knew he was getting me back for doing the same to him earlier. I groaned in frustration, and he chuckled all the way up the stairs.

Ignoring my hardening dick, I ate the pasta Trent cooked for me. It was good, hearty comfort food, and I ate all of it. I washed up my plate and was drying it when Trent came back downstairs. He called out from the living room, "Wanna watch some TV?"

I walked into where he was. "Sure," I told him, and he pulled me down onto the sofa with him. He was wearing sleep pants and a tee shirt and stretched his feet out onto the coffee table
.

I pulled my tie off, and Trent quickly asked, "Do you want to get changed?"

I leaned over and shook my head
no
before I pressed my lips to his. His lips formed a smile before he kissed me back, opened mouthed and sliding tongues. My eyes closed as I melted into this kiss.

His hands were on my face, and he slowed the kiss before pulling away. I pouted, and he smiled. "I’ve thought about kissing you all day," I told him.

"Is that all? Just kissing?" he asked in a teasing tone.

"Well, maybe more…"

"Like what?" he prompted me.

"Like this," I told him, pulling him by his shirt so he was leaning over me. I laid back on the sofa and took him with me. His eyes went wide, but he smiled
.
I let go of his shirt and held his waist instead, lifting my head up to kiss him.

He held his weight off me, but I didn’t want him to. I wanted to feel him. I lifted my foot up, resting it on the sofa so I was lying down more, and he was between my legs. I pulled his hips into mine, feeling, savoring the feel of him, hard, angular, muscular. Male.

He groaned, and the sound set my blood on fire. He was kissing me hard, deep and perfect. My hips were rising to meet him, setting a slow, but desperate pace. I felt his stubble against my chin, my lips and tongue as I was licking and sucking his mouth and jaw.

I peeled his shirt off, and he made quick work of the buttons on mine, exposing my chest to his. His fingers roamed over my skin and then he tweaked my nipples. "Fuck!" I cried out, my back arching off the sofa.

My reaction to his touch spurred him on, and he thrust his hips, rubbing his cock against mine. I dug my hands into the skin of his back, pressing hard enough to bruise him
.
I dipped my fingers under the waistband of his pants and slid my hands over his ass at the same time pushing his sleep pants down to his thighs.

Trent leaned up on one knee and pulled his pants down the rest of the way, freeing his engorged dick. I pulled my own pants open and pulled my cock out of my briefs, moaning at the relief.

But then Trent got up, half pulling his sleep pants back up over his hips. "Don’t you fucking move," he said huskily and bolted up the stairs. I blinked, unsure of what the fuck just happened, but then Trent ran back into the room out of breath.

"Pants off," he huffed and pulled my dress pants off by the hems at my feet. He threw them somewhere and quickly pulled his own pants off. It was then I noticed he had a bottle in his hand. He knelt inbetween my legs, and I suddenly felt very vulnerable. Exposed, open and vulnerable.

"It’s lube," he told me. "It'll make it feel better when I pump your cock with mine."

His words made any fears of what he might have needed lube for fade away. When he took my length in his now-slick hands, I groaned so fucking loud it didn't even sound like me. But then he rested on his knees between my legs, still pumping me slowly. I watched as he added more lube, then he leaned toward me and took both our cocks in one hand. Fuck. The feel of his cock against mine, sliding, squeezing and pumping was so fucking hot, I almost bucked off the sofa.

When he leaned over me on his other hand and kissed me while he stroked us both, I thought I would die. I was moaning and thrusting, kissing and grinding, completely overwhelmed with the sensation.

"Fuck, Trent," my voice was a groan, "you feel so fucking good."

He answered me with just a shudder and a whimper. When his shoulders started to shake, I wrapped my hand around his and started to stroke our cocks with him.

"You feel so good under me," he said, his voice was so husky. "You're gonna make me come."

So I squeezed harder, pumped him faster and thrust my cock into our hands until he was moaning incoherently. With my other hand, I ran my fingers over his chest and rolled his nipple with my thumb and finger. His reaction was immediate, he bucked, his cock thrusting, and he grunted and growled as he poured his come onto me. It was such a turn-on to watch as his entire body orgasm. He was all lithe and beautiful, his cock was lurching, surging, as it emptied.

My hand kept pumping us both. I could see and feel his come on my stomach, my hand, my cock, and it was enough to tip me over the edge.

My back and hips left the sofa, and I bucked against him. The feel of him against me, his hand wrapped around me, the feel of his come on me made my cock erupt.

"Yeah, baby," his sexy voice prolonged my pleasure. "Come for me."

My entire body flexed, and a strangled cry ripped from me as both our hands pumped me. My cock twitched with every stroke, pumping every last drop from me, and we were both moaning. I felt warm all over. Boneless. It made me chuckle. Finally, Trent slumped
against me. We
were both spent, hot, sweaty, sticky messes and neither of us could care. Our breathing simmered, and I felt his heartbeat return to normal against my chest. "Shower with me," I said, not really asking.

He hummed and nodded, and sitting up, I took his hand and led us up the stairs. This time when we showered, we stood under the spray together and kissed, our mouths never parting until the water ran cold.

CHAPTER 8

I got home from work a little earlier than normal and took the opportunity to call my sister. Listening to her chatter away about coming to visit, I changed the ear I was holding my phone to. "Change of plans, Alana," I told her. "I thought I might use my first few days off to go back to my apartment. There are a few things I need to grab."

I pacified her by suggesting everyone could come for a few days next time I was rostered off. "It’s only three weeks away, plus I'll see you all next weekend."

It was kind of a spur of the moment decision, and I hadn't actually asked Trent if he wanted to come to Boston with me, but I figured he'd jump at the chance.

"I get four days off every after two weeks, Lani," I reminded her, calling her by her nickname. "We'll catch up next weekend for dinner when I’m in Boston, then you can come here next time, okay?"

She whined and sulked but in the end, had little choice. I told her I missed her, that I loved her and that I'd see her soon. When I disconnected the call and looked up, Trent was watching me.

"My sister," I said by way of explanation. "Hey, are you busy next weekend?"

He looked at me, curiously, and shrugged.

"I was going to go home to Boston. Did you want to come with me?"

"Why, Doctor Tierney, are you propositioning me?" he asked, teasingly.

"Only if you say yes."

"Then yes," he grinned hugely.

I laughed, and his yes made me happier than it probably should have. But then his face fell. "Oh, I can’t…I can’t leave Bentley."

"Bring him," I suggested. "My apartment has a courtyard with some grass
.
It’s nothing like here, but at least he'll have a bathroom."

Trent smiled his eye-crinkling smile. "We'll have to take your car. My truck's reliable, but it’s not too comfortable."

"It’s fine," I said, making a mental note to put blankets down on the backseat first.

"So, Boston, huh?" Trent mused. "I’ve never been. I spent a while in New York and was headed to Boston but decided on a detour up the coast and came to Belfast."