Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) (2 page)

Why is he acting so strange?
I shake my head as if to say no, then fold my arms across my body.

“Um, Topher, this is Clarke,” my father introduces us, and his friend extends out his hand apprehensively for me to shake. I take it, and it is seriously the most puny hand shake I’ve ever received.

“Hey Topher, I’ve heard so much about you,” Clarke says smiling slightly.

I nod stiffly. “Do you work at the lot?”

Clarke swallows, his adam’s apple jumping up his throat. “No.”

Okay. Now I’m confused. “Then how do you guys know each other?” I address the question to my father.

He sets his briefcase down on the kitchen counter, taking a small step toward me. “Topher…” The way he says my name makes my heart race, leaving me uneasy. “Clarke and I…”

My mind instantly goes into overdrive.
What the fuck.
My eyes shoot back and forth between my father and Clarke.
No fucking way…

“Topher,” my father says again, concern lacing his voice.

“You’re a fucking fag?” I exclaim angrily, pounding my fist into the granite countertop.

My father’s eyes widen and I see a flash of hurt pass across them. Clarke gasps at my outburst.

“I will not have you talking that way to me in my own home!” my father cries out angrily.

“This has to be some bad fucking dream. This is not my real life!” I throw my head into my hands, my body beginning to convulse. I feel someone’s hand lightly touch me and I throw myself back before realizing it is my father. “I have somewhere to be…” I mutter under my breath as I turn my back to them and race back up the stairs.

I can hear my father calling out after me but my body is on autopilot. Before I even know what is happening, I’ve grabbed the keys to the Porsche and I’m out the door. I don’t think I’ve ever driven this fast in my life. I know I should slow down but I want the image that is seared across my mind gone. How can my father be…how…none of it makes any sense.

My phone is vibrating in the pocket of my jeans. I pull it out and see that it’s my father. I chuck it to the floorboard of the passenger seat angrily.

This can’t be my life.

I end up at Sophia’s out of habit. Her red Mustang is in the driveway so I know she’s home. I jump out of my car and quickly make my way to the door. I pound harder than I intend to on it. Luckily, I notice her sandy brown hair coming to answer it.

“Topher?” she says, confused. “I thought you had to do dinner with your dad?”

“Screw my dad,” I reply, letting myself in and pulling her into me. I cover her lips with mine, kissing her more passionately than I have in a very long time.

“What was that for?” she asks breathlessly, as I break off the kiss.

“I know I’ve been distracted lately, but I want you. I want you now.” I pick her up in my arms, and slam her against the door, kissing her neck, her jaw.

I need a distraction.

Sophia’s breaths are becoming labored. “Topher…not here.”

I put her back down on the ground and she reaches for my hand, pulling me further into her familiar household.

“Hi Topher,” I hear her mother say from inside the kitchen.

“Hi Mrs. Thompson,” I shout back as we continue to make our way to her bedroom.

After we are securely inside and the door is locked, I throw her onto the bed and pounce onto her.

“What has gotten into you?” she asks, playfully.

“Less talking…more action.” I don’t want to think about anything that transpired earlier at my house. All I want to do is have fucking sex.

“Okay.” She giggles and then I shut my mind off. My body goes back on autopilot and I give an award-winning performance. Unfortunately for me, the distraction is short-lived and before I know it, I’m back in my car pounding my steering wheel with my fist. I know I can’t avoid my house forever…but I never saw this coming. I can’t even imagine the response if I tell Joe or Sophia about what happened. I’d never be able to separate myself from the stigma. The problem is, I don’t actually mind gays…but my father? I’ll never live it down. Everyone in my high school will find out and I know my life will become a living hell. I know it’s not about me, but, all I can focus on is the repercussions of his choices and how they will affect my comfortable life.

Chapter Two

Ciera

Head down. Don’t make eye contact. I’ve perfected this over the years. Today is no different. As I slip through the crowds of my peers virtually invisible, I realize that maybe, just maybe, today will be better. If I can just stay out of sight, maybe no one will mess with me today. It’s the first positive thought I’ve had in weeks.

I’m walking through the courtyard toward my locker, when I feel my foot catch on something and suddenly my body is hurling toward the ground. My books go flying and I land roughly on my hands and knees, tearing them up from the cement. I guess I spoke too soon.

“Shit,” I mutter under my breath, my cheeks instantly flaming up. I wonder how many people caught the accident that is me…that’s when I hear it…loud chuckling from behind me.

“That was priceless,” a familiar low voice says, then goes back to laughing uncontrollably.

I don’t even have to make eye contact with the perpetrator to know who it is. My ultimate tormentor these past couple of years, Joe Nellis.

“Did you get it?” I hear another voice ask, which I also recognize to be Joe’s best friend, Topher Carlson. Two of the most popular guys in the school and my biggest tormentors.

“Every second.” As I wipe the dirt off of my jeans and stand back up, I take notice of the iPhone in Joe’s hand. The asshole taped the entire incident. My stomach instantly tenses up. Hurriedly, I gather my belongings and flee the scene.

Unfortunately, this is my life. Or at least it has been for the past six years. This is my hell and I’ve learned to simply exist within it. I make it to my locker without any more incidents and notice my best and only friend, Mack leaning against it. His nose is buried in a book, but he looks up the minute I get close and I watch as his eyes travel over my entire body and a look of pain flashes across his eyes.

“What happened to you?” he asks, eyeing the newly fresh holes in the knees of my jeans.

“The A-Team…what else?” When I became a freshman and the bullying became physical, Mack and I came up with our own nickname for the popular jocks who made our lives a living hell. That way it was easier to talk about them in a stealth way.

Mack is still eyeing my ripped clothing with a pained expression. “Did it hurt?”

“A little,” I reply honestly, opening my locker and shoving my books in.

“Ciera, you’re bleeding.” He points to my right knee. I look down and sure enough, dark red blood is seeping into my jeans and trailing down my leg.

“Shit,” I mutter.

“You should go see the nurse. Get that patched up.”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“Do you want me to come with you?” he offers, knowing full well it will make us both late to our first period class.

I shake my head as if to say no. “No, there’s no reason for us both to be late. Can you just tell Mrs. Joyner I’ll be there soon?”

He nods. “Only one hundred and fifty five more days.”

I sigh. It feels like an eternity until we finally are free of this prison. While I rather enjoy school and my classes in general, I hate every other detail about the dreaded place. There’s only so much a person can take and I’ve been teetering with a breaking point for far too long.

As I enter the nurse’s station, Ms. Gregory eyes me sympathetically. “Ciera.”

Unfortunately, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know our school nurse more than anyone in this dreaded place. Apart from the bullying, I’m also accident prone and I end up here at least a few times a week. It’s embarrassing to say the least, but Mrs. Gregory has a gentle way about her that always puts me at ease.

“What is it this time?” she asks as she motions for me to take a seat.

“I fell and hurt my knee.”

Her eyes fall to my knee, where the ripped section is. She takes a few steps toward me and squats to take a better look, pulling back the dark fabric. “Oh yeah, that does look pretty bad. Can you roll up your pant leg for me and I’ll be right back?”

I do as she asks and wince as the fabric touches my skinned knee. I’m waiting for a couple of minutes for her to bring back some Neosporin and bandages when I hear footsteps headed into her office. I keep my eyes trained to the ground, unsure of who is joining me in the room.

“Shit, that looks nasty,” a familiar voice states from the doorway.

My body tenses up as I realize its Topher. Maybe they haven’t had enough fun yet today?

“You know, your video has already gotten over a thousand views…you’re a star!” he jokes condescendingly.

My jaw tenses and I grind my teeth together. I have no idea what he is doing here but I wish he would just leave me alone.

Mrs. Gregory returns and I’ve never been more happy or thankful in my life than to see her familiar white Ked’s making their way back into her office. “Topher Carlson, what can I do for you today?”

“I’m just here for my Vicodin,” Topher replies. A few months ago he was in a pretty bad skiing accident which really messed up his back. His doctors have had him on Vicodin ever since. I’m pretty sure he’s all healed by now and that he has been selling his pills because I’ve caught a few shady transactions happening the past couple of weeks. I’m curious to how he’s been managing to fool Mrs. Gregory as he is required to take the medication in her presence.

“Well, take a seat. I’ll be right with you.” Mrs. Gregory turns her attention back to me and my injured knee.

I’ve mastered the art of knowing when eyes are on me without even having to see it. I know the feeling all too well. I can feel Topher’s blue-green eyes boring into my skull.

“I saw the video,” Mrs. Gregory says softly. “Kids can be vicious.”

I nod slightly, my cheeks burning up. I love Mrs. Gregory’s concern, but not when Topher Carlson is witness to it. I feel extremely uncomfortable. “It’s okay,” I reply out of habit.

She looks up into my eyes from her crouched position. “No, it’s not Ciera. You know, you could tell me who did this to you…we could speak to the principal about them.

My eyes tear away from hers and again to the floor. I can feel Topher’s glare burning me. “No, it’s okay…I’m not a tattle tale.”

She sighs loudly as she finishes securing the bandage over my skinned knee. “Why do you always protect them?”