Learning to Live (The Infinite Love Series Book 1) (4 page)

I forgot how nice it feels to sleep on an actual bed. I shift my body, making myself more comfortable. I’ve been sleeping on a couch for the past six years. My mother is all we have and she works her ass off to make ends meet. I’m thankful we even have a roof over our heads.

When we found out, she tried to baby me, basically forcing me to sleep in the bed. But, I don’t want to draw more attention to myself than necessary. We haven’t told Rose and Wesley anything yet. They’re too young to have to deal with something of such a high caliber. I worry about the time we can’t avoid it anymore. I love seeing them blissfully happy.

I’m sure it’s not exactly ideal to share the bed with two kids, but it’s better than nothing. And I never hear her complain. I swear she’s like Wonder Woman.

She works graveyard shift at a bank call center. Every day she has to listen to people complain, bitch, yell, and moan, and then she comes home and has a handful to deal with because of my siblings. I try to help out where I can and not be a burden for her. Because we don’t have enough money for a sitter, I help out when I can. But I also have a job that I’ve been working at for the past few years. I work five hours a couple of times a week and then sixteen hours during the weekend. It’s minimum wage and really not a lot, but every penny goes toward our bills. Sometimes we find ourselves with a little extra money…but that is always spent on Rose and Wesley. Although we don’t have a television or internet or even cell phones…I’ve been thankful that over time we have been able to get them a radio and even a small handheld Gameboy. They fight more than they use either device, but I’m happy they even have the option.

I know my mother will have to start getting ready to leave within the next few hours, so I decide to take advantage of the small amount of time I have and close my eyes for a few moments.

* * *

It’s halfway through my school week and I’m looking forward to work today. Not that I don’t look forward to it every time. Most people dread the thought of going into work. I actually enjoy the work and my co-workers. They don’t treat me like everyone at school does…instead they treat me like a real human being.

It’s lunchtime and I make a quick pit stop to the restroom before I head to meet Mack. I can hear loud chatter as I enter. My stomach ties up in knots as I realize Sophia Thompson and Alyssa Justice are standing inside, applying lip-gloss.

Both cheerleaders, they are in the hierarchy of the A-Team. They’ve had it easy their entire lives. Popularity, friends, money. I don’t think they’ve had to work for anything they have. They are both dressed in their skimpy cheerleading outfits as today is game day.

They stop talking abruptly as I enter and simply glare at me. I keep my eyes adverted as I quietly slip into a stall. As I close the door behind me, they resume talking.

“Did you hear about that YouTube video?” Sophia asks. I can see them through the slits in the stall doors.

Alyssa shakes her head no.

“It’s up to 50,000 views. They are calling
her
a train wreck.”

My stomach dips even lower as I realize they are speaking about me. Sophia is doing it simply because I’m in their presence, I can tell...

I finish doing my business and flush the toilet, wincing at how loud it is.

“She is
so
disgusting…” Alyssa trails off, pulling her blond hair into a high ponytail. “I mean, have you seen her clothes?”

I look down at what I am currently wearing. I know it is nothing near what is in style nowadays, but it’s never bothered me that much until this very moment. I pull down on my mother’s oversized sweater uncomfortably, and slip my backpack over my arm.

When I exit the stall, the two cheerleaders swivel their heads in my direction, and I can feel their eyes burning into me.

“I think there’s something wrong with her…like I think she’s slow. Have you noticed how she never looks anyone in the eyes?” I can feel tears burning at the edges of my eyes as they continue to talk about me like I can’t hear them.

I quickly make my way to the sink to wash my hands. I just want to get out of here.

“Hey! You in there?” Sophia shouts condescendingly. Knocking with her fist on the side of my head. I pull away from her touch, ripping paper towel off and drying my hands at a rapid pace.

“See? What did I say? Retarded,” Alyssa whispers loudly.

Just when I think I am seconds away from freedom, I hear a spitting sound and then feel something hit my hair. I reach up and touch the spot and feel something sticky.

The girls begin to laugh hysterically. “Oh my God! You did not!” Sophia cries out, still laughing.

“What? Not like she will even know what the hell happened…” Alyssa replies, grabbing her purse and pushing away from the mirror. “Come on, let’s go.”

I don’t move an inch as the girls push their way past me, laughing the entire way out. As soon as I know I am safely alone, I run to the mirror and look up. Sure enough, blue gum is sticking to my blond hair and it looks like it’s really embedded.

The tears begin to spill down my cheeks unforgivingly. I can’t hold it in any longer. I mind my own business. I don’t talk to anyone. I
know
I don’t deserve this. Soon, I am crying so hard, I can barely see out of my watered down eyes. My sides hurt from how twisted up my stomach feels.

I hear the bathroom door open and I panic. I don’t want anyone to see me this way. I think about racing into a stall, but I’m not fast enough and I notice one of the girls from the A-Team standing there, staring at me. What happens next is something I am not expecting in the least.

“Are you okay?” she asks, genuine concern spilling off her voice.

Although I never look people in the eyes, I can’t help but wonder if she is being sincere or playing a trick on me…so curiosity gets the better of me. I shoot a quick glance at her face before letting my eyes fall back to the floor. It’s Madalynne Johnson. She’s been a part of the A-Team her entire life, but I’ve never had any classes with her or even any encounters. She’s a year younger than me, a junior. The most I really know about her is she is dating Parker Grant and has been for years. They make a ridiculously cute couple and are always making people jealous wherever they go.

I shrug not knowing how else to respond. It’s already obvious enough that I am not doing well.

She takes a few hesitant steps toward me. I can see her hands reach up to my hair and I flinch out of habit.

She pulls her hands back quickly. “Did someone do this to you?”

I nod without bothering to say a word. Apparently they already think I’m slow. Best if I live up to their expectations.

“Those asshats,” she remarks.

I’ve never spoken a single word to her in my life and I’m beginning to realize maybe I was wrong to classify her in the same group as the other jocks who torment me.

“Come here,” her voice is quiet and gentle. “Let me help.”

My foot moves instinctively and before I can stop myself, I’ve closed the distance between us.

I can feel her hands in my hair and then pulling. I wonder how much hair I am bound to lose from Alyssa’s ridiculous stunt.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” Madalynne whispers as she notices me wince every few moments from the pain. “Can I ask you something?”

I shrug.

“Who did this to you?”

Your friends?
“It doesn’t matter.”

I watch as her body tenses up and then she lifts my chin with her fingers so that I am looking her in the eyes. I haven’t looked an A-Team member in the eye in years. The feeling is foreign and uncomfortable for me. Her brown eyes are kind and genuine and it makes me wonder why I’ve been so scared to do so in the first place.

“What’s your name?” she asks.

“Ciera,” I answer in a small voice.

“Madalynne.” She sticks out her hand for me to shake.

“I know,” I reply, instinctively.

This seems to surprise her. “Oh,” she says, almost embarrassed. “Well Ciera, whoever did this to you are cowards. They pick on you because they are unhappy in their own life.”

I take a deep breath, nodding slightly.

She returns to her attempt at freeing my hair from Alyssa’s gum.

I take a moment to look her over, without feeling threatened or guilty. She has long brown hair and a gentle demeanor. She is definitely naturally pretty and I can see why Parker likes her.

“So I have good news and bad news…what do you want to hear first?”

I look into her chestnut eyes and she looks conflicted. “I don’t know…you choose.”

Her lips pull into a small smile. “The good news is I was able to get most of it out…”

“And the bad news?” I choke out.

“You’re going to need a haircut…with lots of layers.”

I switch my eyes to the mirror and look at my reflection. The aim of Alyssa’s gum was pretty high, unfortunately for me…Madalynne is right.

She continues to smile timidly at me. “Look, my boyfriend’s cousin is a hairstylist. She normally cuts us a deal because she’s family. Want me to talk to her for you?”

I don’t know why she is being so nice to me, but although foreign, it feels nice. “Thanks…I don’t really have any extra money at the moment…but I appreciate it.”

Her eyes lower as she appears to be deep in thought. “Here.” She pulls out a pen and paper. “Carly owes me a favor. Tell her I sent you.” She writes down a number on a piece of notebook paper and then hands it to me.

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I ask. I can’t help it. I need to know.

Her smile vanishes from her lips. “People are jerks. Don’t ever let anyone treat you with any less respect than you deserve.”

She ruffles through her purse and pulls out a grey beanie. “Here, it’s Parker’s…I’ll just tell him I lost it…but maybe it will help hide it.”

I take the beanie from her, shooting her a simple smile. “Thank you.”

She returns my smile. “Anytime, Ciera. Don’t be a stranger.” And then she turns on her heel and exits the bathroom. It seems as though she completely forgot why she came in the first place.

I look back at my reflection in the mirror. My tears have dried, but my cheeks are still a dark pink along with my nose. It’s obvious I’ve been crying. I slip the beanie over my hair and look back at the girl staring back.

Don’t ever let anyone treat you with any less respect than you deserve.
Her words echo through my head on repeat. For the first time in a long time I feel like there may be hope for me yet.

Chapter Five